I often want to find a little leisure in confusion, but it's really not easy. At present, it is so bizarre, and my heart is so complicated. When a person only has memories, his life will probably be boring forever, but sometimes he has no memories. China's articles are standard, but the world is still spiral. When I left Sun Yat-sen University the other day, I remembered leaving Xiamen University four months ago. Hearing the chirping of planes overhead, I remembered the scene of planes hovering over Beijing every day a year ago. At that time, I also wrote a short article called Yi Jue. Now, even this "sleep" is gone.

The weather in Guangzhou is really hot early, and the sunset enters from the west window, forcing people to barely put on a thin coat. A pot of "water branches" on the desk is something I have never seen before: it is just a section of tree, and its branches and leaves are lovely as long as they are immersed in water. Look at the green leaves, edit the old manuscript, and finally make a difference. Doing this kind of thing is really a day to live and a year to die, which can drive away the heat.

The day before yesterday, Weeds was edited. This time, it was my turn to bring up the past in Mangyuan, and I also changed his name: cordate telosma. Flowers with dew are much better, but I can't. Even if it's strange in my mind now, I can't make him become a strange essay in an instant. In other words, when he looks up at the clouds, he will blink in front of me.

Once, I recalled many times the fruits and vegetables I ate in my hometown when I was a child: water chestnut, arhat bean, water bamboo and wax gourd. These are extremely delicious; Used to be the temptation to make me homesick. Later, I tasted it after a long separation, and that's it; Just in memory, there are old meanings. They may lie to me for the rest of my life and keep me looking back.

These ten articles were copied from memory, which may be somewhat different from the actual content, but I only remember these now. The style is probably very messy, because I dropped out of school after writing for nine months. The environment is different: the first two articles are written under the east wall of Beijing apartment; Three of them are in displacement, and the places are hospitals and carpenters' rooms; The last five articles are upstairs in the library of Xiamen University, and have been pushed out by scholars.

Now talking about the reasons why I hate cats, I feel justified and aboveboard. First, its temperament is different from other wild animals. Anyone who preys on birds and mice always refuses to bite to death. He must play with it, let it go, catch it, catch it, let it go until he is tired of playing. This is the same as people gloating and slowly torturing the weak. Second, is it related to liger? But there is such a coquetry! But it may be a gift. If it is ten times bigger than it is now, I really don't know what kind of attitude it is. However, these excuses seem to have been added when I mentioned the pen now, although they seem to be the reasons that came to mind at that time. More reliable, or, because they howl at the same time, the program is too heavy, which makes others upset, especially when reading and sleeping at night. At these times, I will attack them with a long bamboo pole. Dogs cooperate on the avenue, and idlers often hit them with wooden sticks; I once saw it painted in a collection of copperplate fables by P. Brugell. A, it shows that such a move is consistent at home and abroad. Since the obstinate Austrian scholar S Floyd advocated psychoanalysis-psychoanalysis, I heard that Mr. Zhang translated it into "Mind Interpretation". Although it is simple and ancient, it is really hard to understand-since our famous professor is also quite vague and applied, these things will inevitably return to sexual desire. I don't care about beating dogs. As for me hitting cats, it's only because they bark, and it's not malicious. I am confident that my jealousy is not so wide, and it is necessary to declare in advance when I am "easy to be scolded". For example, before people cooperate, there are also some procedures. What is new is to write love letters, from bundles to bundles. What do you mean by "being famous" and "receiving gifts"? Last year, the Jiang family in Haichang held a wedding in Beijing and worshipped for three days. They also printed a red-faced wedding festival, and the preface commented: "In all fairness, it is a gift, but it must be heavy. Simple design, why use politeness? ..... But people who are interested in ceremonies in the world can be happy! Don't retreat to Shu Ren, where the ceremony can't go on! " However, I am not angry at all, because I don't need to be present; Therefore, it can be seen that the reason why I hate cats is simple, just because they bark in my ear. People's rituals can be ignored by outsiders, so I don't care But if someone orders me to recite a love letter and bow when I am about to read or sleep, it is for self-defense, and I must use a long bamboo pole to resist it. Also, people who don't have much contact at ordinary times suddenly sent me a red post with "sinister hints" such as "marry my sister", "children's marriage is over", "please watch the ceremony" or "He Di's visit", which made me feel guilty and unhappy without spending money.

Although the current sports meeting is not like the cheongsam in Shanghai, it is officially forbidden to talk about state affairs in Beijing, and women and children are not allowed to watch it. Scholars, so-called literati, generally refuse to watch it. Only idle people ran to the temple or yamen to watch the fun; Most of what I know about the tournament comes from their narratives, not the precious "ophthalmology" of textual research scholars. However, I remember one time, I witnessed a relatively prosperous championship. At first, there was a child riding on horseback, which was called "Tang Bao". After a long time, the "high photo" arrived, with a long flag held by a long bamboo pole and a sweaty fat man holding it in his hands; When he is happy, he will put the head of the pole on his head or teeth, or even on the tip of his nose. Followed by the so-called "stilts", "carrying pavilions" and "horse heads"; There are also criminals, red shackles and children. At that time, I thought these were glorious undertakings, and I heard that they were lucky-I probably envied their limelight. I thought, why didn't I get seriously ill and let my mother go to the temple to make a wish to "pretend to be a prisoner"

..... However, I have never had anything to do with the tournament until now.

I want to go to Dongguan to see the Wucang meeting. This is a rare event when I was a child, because it will be the most prosperous event in the county, and Dongguan is far from my home. There are more than 60 miles of waterways outside the city, and there are two special temples there. One is the Meigu Temple recorded in Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio. The maid kept a festival, became a god after her death, but usurped someone else's husband. Now there are indeed a pair of young men and women smiling on the altar, which is different from Ethics. One is the Hall of Five Cabins, which has a strange name. According to people who are addicted to textual research, this is the Five Gods. However, there is no conclusive evidence.

"Brother, I bought you the' Three Hums Classics' with pictures!"

I seem to have met a bolt from the blue, and everyone was shocked; Go and take it, open the paper bag, it's four small books, turn it slightly, a beast with a face and a hydra, ... Sure enough.

This has brought me new respect. She can succeed in anything that others refuse to do or cannot do. She really has great power. The resentment of murdering Tibetan rats was completely eliminated from now on.

These four books are my first and most beloved treasures.

The appearance of this book is still in sight. But as far as it is concerned, it is a very rough book. The paper is yellow; The image is also very poor, even almost straight lines, even the eyes of animals are rectangular. But that's my favorite book. It looks like a beast with a face. Hydra; A cow with one foot; Di Jiang is like a bag; Without a head, Xingtian, which takes the chest as the eye and the navel as the mouth, should also "dance in unity".

Since then, I have collected more books about painting, so I published Er Ya Yin Tu and Shi Mao Pin Tu Textual Research, as well as Dian Shi Zhai Cong Hua and Shi Fang Hua. Shan Hai Jing also bought another lithograph. Each volume has a picture, a green picture, and the word is red, which is much more exquisite than that woodcut. This was still there until the year before last, and it is the epitome of Hao Yixing. The woodcut can't remember when it was lost.

My nanny, the eldest mother, has been dead for about thirty years. I finally don't know her name and experience; All I know is that I have an adopted son, probably a young widow.

Good and dark Mother Earth, may her soul be in your arms forever!

Who wrote Gao Shi's biography? Ji Kang's or Huangfu Mi's? There is still no book at hand, so I can't look it up. It's just that I recently got a month's salary for nothing, so I made a determined effort to buy Taiping Magnolia, but I couldn't find it. If I wasn't careless, I got it from other books in Tang and Song Dynasties. But it doesn't matter much. I think what is special is the word "young" in the text.

After my father died, I often went to her house, but instead of playing with the children, I talked about leisure with YanTaitai or her man. At that time, I felt that I bought more things, saw more things, and ate more things, but I had no money. Talking about this one day, she said, "Mom's money, you can use it, isn't it yours?" When I said my mother had no money, she said she could sell the jewelry. I said there was no jewelry, and she said, "Maybe you didn't notice. When you look around in the chef's drawer, you can always find something like beads ... "

These "jade calendars" have two kinds: complex and simple, which are consistent with my preface. But after I investigated all the impermanent portraits, I panicked. Because the "impermanence" in the book is robe, gauze cap and back knife; And with an abacus, those who wear high hats are "divided to death"! Although there is a fierce face and sandals and cloth shoes under his feet, the painter is careless. The most crucial inscription is that all people agree, saying, "Death has its share." Alas, this is clearly designed to embarrass me.

References:

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Dogs, cats and mice

Since last year, I seem to have heard someone say that I hate cats. This is according to my article rabbits and cats. This is a confession, of course, there is nothing to say,-but I don't mind at all. This year, I'm a little worried. I can't help playing with pen and ink, writing it down and printing it out. For some people, it seems that there are always less scratches and more tenderness. If you don't care, even offend celebrities or famous professors, or even offend "seniors who have the responsibility to guide young people", it will be extremely dangerous. Why? Because these big feet are "not easy to mess with" Why is it "not easy to provoke"? I was afraid that I would get hot all over, so I made a letter and put it in the newspaper. The advertisement said, "Look! Don't dogs hate cats? Mr. Lu Xun himself admitted that he hated cats and said that he would fight' Reservoir Dogs'! " The implication of this "logic" is to prove that I am a dog with my words, so everything I say is completely overturned. Even if I say four out of two, I will see nine out of three, and nothing is good. Since these are all wrong, gentlemen naturally get seven-thirds, one-third and so on verbally.

So I sometimes pay attention to check their "motivation" to become enemies. This is not to dare to learn from the motives of current scholars to praise or criticize the fashion of their works, but to wash oneself in advance. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't take much effort for animal psychologists, but unfortunately I don't have this knowledge. Finally, I found the reason in Dr. O. Dahmhardt's National Fairy Tales at the End of Natural History. It is said that the animals had a meeting because they wanted to discuss something important. All the birds, fish and animals gathered together except the elephant. Everyone agreed to send someone to meet him, and it was the dog that was chosen as the messenger. "How can I find the elephant? I have never seen it, and I don't know. " It asked. "It's simple," the public said. "It's a hunchback." When the dog went, he met the cat and immediately arched his back. While entertaining, he walked with him and introduced the arched cat to everyone, saying, "Here comes the elephant!" " But everyone laughs at it. Since then, dogs and cats have become enemies.

Although the Germans have not been out of the forest for a long time, their academic literature and art have been considerable, and even the binding of books and the workmanship of toys are lovely. This unique fairy tale is really not beautiful; Making enemies is boring. The cat arched its back, not trying to pretend, deliberately putting on airs, but the dog's own vision was not enough. However, the reason can always be counted as one reason. My dislike of cats is quite different from this.

In fact, the distinction between people and birds need not be so strict. In the animal kingdom, although it is not as comfortable and free as the ancients imagined, there are always fewer artificial things. They are adaptable, right is right, wrong is wrong, and they don't say a word. Worms and maggots may be unclean, but they are not lofty; It can be said that birds and beasts prey on weak animals, but they have never erected the banner of "justice" and "justice", so that the victims still admire them until they are eaten. People, who can walk upright, naturally make great progress; Being able to speak is naturally a big step forward; Being able to write a composition is naturally a big step forward. However, it also degenerated, because at that time, empty talk began. It is necessary to talk empty words. Even if you don't know that you are speaking against your will, the howling animal will inevitably be "shy". If there really is an equal creator who is above us, we may think that there are too many human cleverness. Just like when we saw the monkey tumbling in Wansheng Garden, the female elephant often laughed, but at the same time, we also felt uncomfortable and even sad, thinking that these extra cleverness were better than nothing. However, as human beings, we should "strive for differences with the Party", learn from others' words, do as the Romans do, and just talk about it.

Now talking about the reasons why I hate cats, I feel justified and aboveboard. First, its temperament is different from other wild animals. Anyone who preys on birds and mice always refuses to bite to death. He must play with it, let it go, catch it, catch it, let it go until he is tired of playing. This is the same as people gloating and slowly torturing the weak. Second, is it related to liger? But there is such a coquetry! But it may be a gift. If it is ten times bigger than it is now, I really don't know what kind of attitude it is. However, these excuses seem to have been added when I mentioned the pen now, although they seem to be the reasons that came to mind at that time. More reliable, or, because they howl at the same time, the program is too heavy, which makes others upset, especially when reading and sleeping at night. At these times, I will attack them with a long bamboo pole. Dogs cooperate on the avenue, and idlers often hit them with wooden sticks; I once saw it painted on a collection of copperplate fables by P Brugell. A, it shows that such a move is consistent at home and abroad. Since the obstinate Austrian scholar S Floyd advocated psychoanalysis-psychoanalysis, I heard that Mr. Zhang translated it into "Mind Interpretation". Although it is simple and ancient, it is really hard to understand-since our famous professor is also quite vague and applied, these things will inevitably return to sexual desire. I don't care about beating dogs. As for me hitting cats, it's only because they bark, and it's not malicious. I am confident that my jealousy is not so wide, and it is necessary to declare in advance when I am "easy to be scolded". For example, before people cooperate, there are also some procedures. What is new is to write love letters, from bundles to bundles. What do you mean by "being famous" and "receiving gifts"? Last year, the Jiang family in Haichang held a wedding in Beijing and worshipped for three days. They also printed a red-faced wedding festival, and the preface commented: "In all fairness, it is a gift, but it must be heavy. Simple design, why use politeness? ..... But people who are interested in ceremonies in the world can be happy! Don't retreat to Shu Ren, where the ceremony can't go on! " However, I am not angry at all, because I don't need to be present; Therefore, it can be seen that the reason why I hate cats is simple, just because they bark in my ear. People's rituals can be ignored by outsiders, so I don't care But if someone orders me to recite a love letter and bow when I am about to read or sleep, it is for self-defense, and I must use a long bamboo pole to resist it. Also, people who don't have much contact at ordinary times suddenly sent me a red post with "sinister hints" such as "marry my sister", "children's marriage is over", "please watch the ceremony" or "He Di's visit", which made me feel guilty and unhappy without spending money.

However, these are all recent words. I hate cats again long before I can say these reasons, maybe when I was ten years old. I still remember clearly that the reason is extremely simple: just because it ate mice, it ate my lovely little hidden mouse.

I heard that westerners don't like black cats very much, but I'm not sure. But the black cats in edgar allan poe's novels are a bit scary. Japanese cats are good at refinement, and the legendary "Catwoman" is really more terrible in eating people. Although there were "ghost cats" in ancient China, we have rarely heard the tricks of cats recently. It seems that the ancient law has been lost, and it is sincere. It's just that when I was a child, I always felt a little weird and didn't like it. It was a summer night when I was a child. I lay on a small table under a big laurel tree to enjoy the cool, and my grandmother sat next to Zhuo with a banana fan, solving puzzles for me and telling ancient stories. Suddenly, the scratching of toes and claws came from the sand on the laurel tree, and a pair of sparkling eyes followed the sound in the dark, which surprised me and interrupted my grandmother's words and told another story about cats-

"You know what? The cat is the husband of the tiger. " She said. "How can a child know that a cat is the owner of a tiger? Knowing nothing, the tiger jumped at the cat's door. The cat teaches it how to jump, how to catch and how to eat, just like it catches mice by itself. These teachings are over; The tiger thought, all the skills have been learned, and no one can match. Only the teacher's cat is better than himself. If you kill the cat, you will be the strongest foot color. He made up his mind to jump on the cat. The cat knew its purpose long ago and jumped on the tree, while the tiger could only crouch under the tree helplessly. It didn't teach all the skills, nor did it teach it to climb trees. "

I think it's a fluke. Fortunately, the tiger was impatient, otherwise a tiger would climb down from the laurel tree. However, I am really afraid of people. I want to sleep in the house. The night is getting darker; Laurel leaves rustle and the breeze blows. I think the straw mat must be slightly cold, and lying down will not be boring.

Under the dim light of the soybean oil lamp in the old house for hundreds of years, it is a world where mice jump over the beams, wander around and squeak. That gesture is often more imposing than the cat raised by the "famous professor", but it doesn't matter whether they eat or not. Grandma, although they often hate rats biting boxes and stealing food, I don't think it's a big crime. It has nothing to do with me. Besides, this bad thing is probably done by a big mouse, and it must not be framed on the mouse I love. This kind of mouse generally walks on the ground, only the size of a thumb, and is not too afraid of people. There we call it a "hidden mouse", which is different from the great man who lives in the house. There are two pieces of paper on my bed. One is "Eight Pigeons' Daughter-in-law", all of which are long mouths and big ears, which I think is not very elegant; The other "Marry a Mouse" is cute. From the groom and bride to the best man, guests and deacons, there is no one who is not a scholar but wears a red shirt and green pants. I think only those hidden mice I like can hold such a grand ceremony. Now it's vulgar, and the wedding ceremony of human beings on the road is just an advertisement for sexual intercourse, so I don't pay much attention to it; But at that time, I wanted to see the ceremony of "mouse getting married", but I was fascinated. Even if I worship for three nights like Hai Changjiang, I'm afraid I may not be well-behaved. On the 14th night of the first month, I refused to fall asleep easily and waited for their ceremony to come out from under the bed. However, I still only saw a few naked hidden rats marching on the ground, which didn't seem like a happy event. Until I couldn't stand it anymore, I went to sleep disgruntled, but it was dawn when I opened my eyes. It was the Lantern Festival. Perhaps the wedding of the mouse family, regardless of the invitation, is not just a gift, but really a "ceremony" and is absolutely not welcome. I think this is their habit and they can't protest.

The enemy of mice is not cats. After spring, you hear it "Zha! Hey! " Crying quietly, everyone called it "the mouse counting copper coins" and knew that its terrible Tubo was coming. This voice is desperate and frightening, although it doesn't bark like that when it meets a cat. Cats are naturally scary, but as long as mice run into a small hole, there is nothing they can do, and there are still many opportunities to escape. Only the terrible Tubo-snake, with a slender body and a round diameter similar to that of a mouse. Where the mouse can go, it can also go, and the pursuit time is particularly long, and it survived. When it comes to "counting money", there is probably no second step.

Once, I heard the voice of "counting money" coming from an empty room. I pushed the door and went in. A snake is lying on the beam, looking at the ground. A hidden mouse was lying on the ground, quarreling with blood, but the two sides fell together. I picked it up and put it in a paper box. After a long time, I woke up and gradually could eat and walk. The next day, I seemed to recover, but I didn't run away. When you put it on the ground, you always run in front of people, with your legs up and climbing to the knee condyle. Put it on the dining table, then eat the dregs of ordering food and lick the edge of the bowl; Walking leisurely on my desk, I licked the ink I was studying when I saw the inkstone. I was very surprised. According to my father, there is a kind of ink monkey in China, which is only as big as a thumb, and its hair is black and bright. It sleeps in a pen container. When it hears the sound of ink grinding, it will jump out and wait. When people finish writing and put pens on, it licks up the remaining ink on the inkstone and still jumps into the pen container. I would like to have such an ink monkey, but I can't get it; Asked where to buy and where to buy, no one knows. "Talking about comfort is better than nothing". This hidden mouse can always be my ink monkey. Although it licks the ink, it may not be finished by me.

I can't remember clearly now; It's been like this for about a month or two One day, I suddenly felt very lonely. This is really called "if something is lost". My hidden mouse always parades in front of my eyes, either on the table or on the ground. However, I didn't see it most of the day. Everyone had lunch and didn't see it. Usually, it will definitely appear. I waited and waited for a long time, but there was still no sign.

My eldest mother, a female worker who has been leading me, may think that I have been waiting too hard and tell me a word gently. This immediately made me angry and sad, determined to be an enemy of cats. She said: the mouse that was hidden last night was eaten by the cat!

When I lose what I love and my heart is empty, I will fill it with the evil thoughts of revenge!

My revenge, starting with a flower cat at home, gradually spread, as for all the cats I met. The first is to pursue only without attacking; Later, it became more and more clever, and it could hit them on the head with flying stones, or lure them into empty houses to make them depressed. The battle went on for quite a long time, and then it seemed that the cat had never come near me. But even if they are defeated, they are not heroes; Besides, there may not be many people who have fought cats in China's life, so all the strategies and achievements are omitted.

But many days later, maybe half a year later, I got an unexpected news: the hidden mouse was not actually hurt by the cat, but tried to climb up with its long mother's leg and was trampled to death by her foot.

This is really unexpected before. Now I don't remember what it was like at that time, but my feelings with cats finally didn't blend; When I arrived in Beijing, because I hurt the rabbit's child, I caught a new suspect in the old gap and used a hotter hand. The story of "hating cats" spread from now on. Now, however, these things have become the past. I have changed my attitude and am quite polite to cats. If necessary, I will drive them away and never hurt them, let alone kill them. This is my progress in recent years. With a lot of experience, once we realize that cats steal fish, drag chickens and bark at night, people will naturally hate them, and this kind of hate is on cats. If I go out to drive away this hatred of people, hurt or kill it, it will immediately become pity, and that hatred will fall on me. So, the solution now is that whenever cats make trouble and someone hates me, I will stand up and shout at the door: "Shh! Get out! " Take it easy, that is, go back to the study, so that you will always be qualified to defend your family. In fact, officers and men in China often practice this method. They always refuse to sweep away bandits or exterminate the enemy, because in this way, they will not be taken seriously, or even be fired because they have lost their usefulness. I think that if this method can be popularized and applied, I will probably become a "predecessor" of the so-called "guiding youth", but I have not made up my mind to practice it, and I am studying and deliberating it.

1February 2, 9261day.