2, you are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, and you ignore me!
3. I can't think quickly, I don't look like I'm dressed, I can't get along with anyone, I'm not welcome anywhere, my heart stops when I'm fine, and pneumonia is atypical!
4, people are really tired when they are alive: you have to queue up when you get on the bus, you have to suffer if you love you, you have no fragrance when you eat, you get drunk easily when you drink, and you have to pay taxes when you earn money!
When the left eye is closed, it is interested in you. Close your right eye and I will go with you. You can do anything you want when your eyes are closed.
6. Comics should be thorough, destruction should be powerful, making trouble is a patent, pretending to be a gimmick, and the whole person depends on talent and fate. Anyway, I will never be restless!
7. I am your ape, sitting on your kang, your mother burns incense for me, your father kowtows to me, your grandmother gives me jiaozi, and your grandfather is my big fat man!
8. Qian Shan has been in love, so don't tip. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you can't leave a tip. The world has its own true feelings, and every piece can be saved.
9. Women are not drunk, men have no chance, men are not drunk, women have no tips, men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the restaurant.
10, honey, don't be cool with me, don't be jealous of me, you have to give in when you quarrel, and you have to hold on when you are beaten!
1 1, don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang; Don't pretend with me, I'm backstage; If you don't believe me, * * is my uncle, and the United States will also bear the burden of bombing before poisoning.
12, things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by mortals are called waste. Celebrities who drink too much are called Brewmaster, while mortals who drink too much are called alcoholics.
13, Meimei I love you just like a mouse loves rice. Eat you, swallow you and put you in my heart. Bite you, chew you, and we will be together forever!
14, white and white, ears pricked up, heard the phone beep, put down the radish and vegetables, and quickly sent a message.
15, report to the commander that your wife is in the bay and has no pants to wear. I picked up a piece of cloth and made briefs. East to fill the west, or dew * *.
16, if the two feelings are long, in pork pork; We want to fly in heaven, two birds are one, and we want to be a pig with a tail; Don't be a pig in your mouth.
17, little mouse, go up to the lampstand, steal oil to eat, can't come down, meow meow, the cat is coming, jabber and roll down.
18, big saw, big saw, singing big drama in front of grandma's house; Pick up your daughter and invite your son-in-law and nephew boy to go.
19, vows of eternal love show determination, hug the girl to kiss, impulse makes my hair dizzy, and my whole body is like a cramp.
20, don't blow easy to get dusty, don't make it easy to get up, don't pretend to be easy to get hurt, don't be beautiful and easy to get wet.
2 1, I left gently, just as I came gently. I waved my sleeve and only took away a bundle of cabbage.
22. I will break your back and bend your legs. I will give you a broken back. I'll give you a microphone to walk against the wall and vomit blood.
23. At dawn, I carried Emil Wakin Chau, crossed Nicholas Tse, came to Stephen Chow, picked Andy Lau, picked branches, made Jacky Cheung and ate Joe Cheng chicken.
24. The person I love has been taken away, and the person who loves me is terrible, either degenerating in debauchery or perverting in silence.
25. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.
26, the water is flowing, the fish is swimming, and there is no reason to love you; The wind is blowing and it is raining. I really want to hug and kiss you. There is love in heaven and love on earth. How about romance today?
27. Make up your mind to steal melons, climb without fear of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties, and strive for victory and carry them home.
28. Cars, Tick Tick, Malanhua 2 1, 256, 257, 28293 1 1.
29. Praise the deer as a horse, promote the flatterer, and suffer from being a cow as a horse, all by yourself.
30, falling in love for the first time! Goodbye, infatuation! All day! Want to win people's hearts! Take great pains! I want to hurry! Difficult to your heart! Do not know how to be intimate! How cruel! Makes me sad!
3 1, one person dies, two people are full of tenderness, three people miss each other, and four people are strange strange bedfellows.
32. Men's mixed hair falls backwards; Men don't mix well, their hair leans forward. Women mix clothes and wear less; Women don't mix well and dress like an old lady.
33, the standard of a good wife: derailment is cute, strictness is a long-term solution, not spending money is saving, spending money is tasteful!
34. One bucket is poor, two buckets are rich, three buckets and four buckets open pawn shops, five buckets and six buckets carry flowers, seven buckets and eight buckets walk the streets (selling tofu), and nine buckets and ten buckets of shit baskets!
35. I don't want to recite exams. My back is really tired at night. I sleep just to be comfortable. There is no one around the examination room. It's really sad to look at the test paper!
Most people are working, a few are eating and drinking, most are practicing Qigong, a few are busy telling fortune, and many are fighting? Fangcheng? .
37. My name is Alibaba, and my height is 1 m 88. I'll give you a bag of crispy rice and call me aunt.
38. Talk about winning or losing in Beijing; Winning or losing is decided by the Shanghai petty bourgeoisie; Win or lose by food in Guangzhou; Win or lose by football in Dalian; Win or lose by speed in Shenzhen.
39. What you did, what you saw, and what you saw gave advice to michel platini. It was not enough to give advice. You hid in the dark and framed it.
40. Do you think it's funny that Xiaohua Mall goes to school and the teacher teaches him to sleep, listening in one ear and taking it in the other?
4 1, the four freaks in today's society: cats don't catch mice, women don't like breastfeeding, people become prisoners of computers, and pets replace their parents.
42. Supreme instruction: Wash your hands before and after meals; Wash your hands when you come back from abroad; Wash your hands after riding; Wash your hands when you touch the east and west.
43. If all beings are old, people will die young if they are affectionate! If you don't want to get old and die young, you'd better talk to me.
44. Our aim is to be beautiful for a while and not be ashamed; Happy day by day, ignoring sadness; Have a good year and never save a penny!
45. A man's life belongs to the country, his income belongs to his wife, his property belongs to his children, his achievements belong to his leader, his body belongs to his lover, and only his shortcomings and mistakes are his own.
46. Everything is inferior, only the power is high; There are never ugly men, as long as they have money. You are tall and handsome, and you are really lovable. Sooner or later, you will be put into a sack and thrown into the sea.
47. The east wind blows and the drums beat. Now, whoever drinks is afraid, one for you and one for me. Now, whoever drinks it is afraid.
48. I am not a scholar, but my parents forced me to come. The examination questions are as deep as the sea, and the eggs and ducks are rolling in.
49. Hello, hello, you eat straw, with more hair and less meat, and you like to take a bath with rice soup. You also said that your skin care effect is very good. You are a rare clown.
50. Always one point and two points, Amitabha three points and four points, five points and six points once a year, and never a hundred points.
5 1, mobile phones are busy in the morning of the week, and people who send text messages line up. As you ordered, everyone went to the dump. Please leave my message in the boudoir!
52. Everyone knows that it is good to wrangle. After three or five years, all the problems disappeared.
53. Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. In the temple, an old monk is telling a story to the children. What story is he telling? Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain.
54. Husband is a big tree, so be sure to hold it. Lovers are grass and must be protected. Plant a big tree and a meadow. Enjoy the cool under the big tree and walk the birds on the grass.
55, Zhou skinned, 5 1, stealing chickens in the middle of the night, we are playing games and scratching Zhou skinned.
56. You are the moon cake and I am the stuffing. We always meet when we are touching. You are a kite, I am a thread, chasing you; You are the bright moon, I am the spring, round and complete for ten thousand years!
57. Pour a glass of red wine and get drunk for you; Dress up in red and be beautiful for you; Light a red candle and shed tears for you; All the way to the world of mortals, whatever.
58. My eyes are dull day and night, I don't eat three meals, my limbs are weak, I don't care about the whole grain, my six parents don't recognize me, I don't know anything, I'm aggressive, I'm sedentary, and it's useless.
Please allow me to go with you if you die. If you are still alive, please don't abandon me. If you love me, don't run away. If you love her, don't act!
60. If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If fashion is a mistake, then I have been wrong again and again. What a miserable life!
6 1, I can't sleep when I miss you, and my heart is pounding when I miss you; I'm obsessed with your love, I love you, I'm dying!
62. Four great ideals: blow up the Himalayas, travel around the solar system, tile the Great Wall of Wan Li, and swear to turn my wife into a fairy.
63. When the husband is away, the wife confessed: drink less spirits and don't gamble; Don't pick wild flowers on the roadside; Cherish feelings and care for your wife; Such a husband is so cute!
64. Kiss you a little, take a big bite, take a big bite, and the young couple will become three new ones.
65. First, don't cry, second, don't laugh, third, don't show your white teeth, and fourth, don't fart and pop popcorn.
66, the world knows? Pour? Hello, I sent it backwards. As long as you can make a lot of money, you don't need moral conscience.
67. Men are sour if they don't pick up girls. I'm really upset that no one talks to women. If a girl doesn't answer it, drag it over and transform it. There are girls screwing around, doing justice for heaven.
68. Studying is hard and tiring, and you have to pay tuition. Why not join * * *, have fun, have status, and have beautiful women to sleep with you.
69. Make up your mind to steal melons, climb in without fear of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties, and strive for victory and resistance to go home.
70, your heart, my heart, broken into pieces, cut into pieces, dressed in a string, and then sprinkle some pepper noodles, take it to roast, mutton skewers.
7 1, cowardly men's articles: poor, white and incompetent, disabled limbs, abnormal facial features, six gods without a master, seven unwise, eight unlucky and nine undead, very timid.
72. A game is really tiring. Practice before going to work every day, and it tastes good in the morning. At noon, I must get drunk. I often hurt my liver and stomach when I practice, and I always say that I am innocent when I sleep and practice my dreams.
73. Get together in the network and fall in love in the network. Sweet words are entangled! How confusing it is to say! By the way, my friend, find out the gender first!
74. I found a pack of cigarettes by the roadside and handed it to my uncle. My uncle smoked a cigarette and nodded to me. I said happily: Uncle, give me money!
75. Someone borrows money from you every three days, and you are tired of listening; You are tired of borrowing money from others every now and then.
76. In the middle of the night, I came to the pit and there was someone at the bottom. I risked my life to jump into the pit. I saved that man and sacrificed heroically. In memory of him, a lamp was installed in the toilet.
77. Happy life: 70% full, 30% drunk, full of harvest; Live a superior life, pay moderate labor and enjoy the life of the lower class.
78, don't look thin, I am all muscles; Although I am black, my face shines; My head can be broken and my hairstyle can never be messed up; Blood can flow, shoes can't be oiled.
79. Lovers are gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues are diligent and have no temper, and friends are obscene.
80. Dinosaurs, well done, are called dancing; Being in a daze, doing well is cool; Cheat money, well done.
8 1, Rizhao incense burner produces purple smoke. Looking at the mutton string hanging in Qianchuan from a distance, I drooled for three feet and took out my pocket without any money.
82. A little pig is amazing. At eight o'clock every morning, he doesn't eat or take medicine, but just swallows it with his mouth. You said the pig was stupid, but he giggled.
83. It snowed heavily on Sunday morning, and the old garbage collectors lined up. At the command of * *, they rushed to the garbage dump and stuffed rags and socks into their pockets.
84. Rain is ticking, clouds are flowing, songs are free, love is intentional, love is crazy, the sky is eternal, and you are unforgettable.
85. I treat you like a pearl and you treat me like a salted fish. I'm crazy about you, and I'm crazy about you. Deep in the ocean, you hurt me on purpose.
86. Beauty, beauty, I love you. I write a love song for you. The theme is I miss you very much. It's all about missing you. Ask me what I think of you and swear that I will catch up with you.
87, the driver is bitter: endless smiling faces, endless good words, endless cigarettes, unclear fines.
88, rotten sand fruit, a lot, try first and then buy, no loss. Don't blame me for eating a bad sentence, who told you to buy my rotten fruit.
89. The pain of a romantic man: telling lies behind his wife's back, telling jokes when he meets a mistress, talking nonsense when he meets a lady, and talking nonsense with friends.
90. The fifth young man sells burnt earth, and his trousers are rotten, and no one can mend them. Five dollars and five cents, he jumps straight.
9 1, handsome, you are handsome, your hair is like kelp, you are wearing a sack and your waist is tied with shoelaces. Do you think you are the most handsome in the world? Actually, it's the second generation of nerves!
92, the first grade died, the second grade was lifted, the third grade dug a hole and buried the fourth grade, the fifth grade cried and couldn't get up, and the sixth grade rabbit didn't come.
93. A handsome young man is full of beautiful women. If you are sincere, I will love you for ten thousand years.
94. When you don't have a girlfriend, you are a hunting dog. When you find a goal, you are a bar dog. When you get it, you are a German shepherd. When you lose it, you are a dead dog.
95. I came to your window again tonight. Why don't you show your head on the curtain? I have a crush on you for so many years, and I won't say anything tomorrow!
96. There are four things to eat: grass-roots police station, township tax office, bank credit unit and stage lighting.
97. You should take good care of yourself in the distance. Don't have a cold and runny nose. You can sneeze occasionally, which means I miss you!
98. Rizhao incense burner produces purple smoke. Looking at the mutton string hanging in Qianchuan from a distance, my saliva left three thousands of feet, but I touched my pocket and didn't bring any money.
99. Today's phenomenon: Many beautiful women open magazines, open TV advertisements, pick up newspapers and read many signed articles.
100, you are cute, poor and unloved; You are annoying, lovable and tireless; You are very? Smart? The first place to flush the toilet; You are very temperamental and irritable by nature.
The address of this article: interesting jingles and jokes