Three words humiliate me: why are you so thin! Don't you have some stinking money! It's good to have a good husband!

2. How painful it is to be called a handsome boy only when you buy clothes.

3. If it is successful, eating green vegetables is called health preservation; If you fail, eating green vegetables is called shabby. This is not chicken soup. This is called reality!

4. A buddy went to the grave on Qingming Day and lamented: Now the paper money is the same as it is really. It was really puzzling when it was burned. With a wry smile, his wife called and said, "Didn't you go to the grave?" Why don't you bring the paper money on the table? Also, I just picked it up today.

Where is the hundred thousand dollars? This guy cried in the grave several times after hearing this. Passers-by praised them in succession. How filial! It's really rare to cry like this at the grave now.

Don't pay too much attention to what some people say, because they have mouths, but not necessarily brains.

6. Most people's troubles can be summed up as: making money is difficult, spending money quickly, and being ugly is unloved.

7. Why did the boat of friendship turn over? The ship of love capsizes and capsizes. Don't you know how much you weigh?

Eight. Over the years, my father always gave way to my mother. Yesterday, they broke out in a world war. Mom: I can't pass Let's divorce. We can't live this life. Dad growled, but just because you left, you left your grandson. You can have this room! Give you the car! Here you go, son! I'll give it to you, too. The water I just drank has come out!

9. Money is money if it is not spent. Don't save money at the most beautiful age, or you will be poor and ugly!

10. Some people like your face, some people like your voice, some people like your personality, some people like your life, but I am different. I don't like you. 1 1. When I was young, I made a decision to devote my life to love. Later, I didn't die. Youth saved my life!

12. The ideals of the ancients: cultivate one's morality, govern the country and level the world. My ideal: slim down, get married and go abroad to eat all over the world.

Thirteen. Don't panic when life is not smooth. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

14. Making money is an ability and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

Fifteen. part

I passed the exam again and again, but today I failed. The coach finally shouted at me impatiently: Are you afraid that you can't afford a car after the exam? I have nothing to say.

People who don't cry are monsters, and people who always cry are losers.

17. We are all children of Jianghu, and we should help each other in the same boat. Let me know who has no money in the future, and I can tell you how I live without it.

Sometimes, people who don't like it at first sight will eventually live well. When they meet someone who feels good for the first time, they will eventually feel blind.

Nineteen. Why do experts suggest dinner?

Seven out of ten, because, on the other hand,

At three o'clock, go to eat midnight snack.

two

10. I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. The girls I chased all married good people in the end without exception.

2 1. There are many things that you couldn't figure out at that time. Don't worry. When I think about it after a while, I don't remember.

22. Before the exam, Xiaohong said to Xiaojun: If you can get the first place in the class this time, I will be your girlfriend. The whole class heard it. After handing out the papers, everyone quietly put down their pens and planned to hand in a blank sheet of paper. Xiaojun's eyes were full of tears. He gave them a look.

More than 200 kilograms of Xiaohong silently tore off the test paper and ate it! Xiaohong smiled and wrote Xiaojun's name on her test paper.

I don't know how others turn pressure into motivation. Anyway, I will only turn stress into appetite.

24. When you don't have enough to eat, there is only one worry about eating; Every time after eating, there will be more troubles!

25. When people are hungry, they will choose foods they don't love, and when they are lonely, they will choose people they don't love, because the melon is not sweet but quenches their thirst.

26. What I admire most is the Tang Priest in Journey to the West, who doesn't have to take a bath by himself. Every two episodes, a monster says, boys, wash that monk clean.

Twenty-seven You don't know a week unless you experienced a crash on Monday morning.

The value of five afternoons.

Twenty-eight Today, a buddy's wife gave birth and called me to report the good news. I was going to ask him: Is it a boy or a girl? As a result, the brain asked him: Whose is it? Now this guy has to do a paternity test, and his wife won't live or die. I think it's best to stand by and keep silent.

29. I just want to go home and hide under the covers as soon as possible every day. After all, it's like acting outside.

30.

20

What's your wish for 19? Say it out loud. It won't happen anyway!