It snowed heavily on Sunday morning, and the old garbage collectors lined up. When the police gave the order, they rushed to the garbage dump and stuffed rags and socks into their pockets.
In my heart, you are an onion. Chop you, chop you, chop you, throw it in the toilet (real hero).
4. Knife, what kind of knife is it? Gold ring sword! Sword? What sword is it? Close the moon and shame the lightsaber! What kind of trick is it? Yin and Yang of heaven and earth recruit people! People, what are they like? People who fly over the eaves and walk over the walls! Love, what kind of love? Beauty loves heroes!
5. I'm Kosai, and I'm here to buy food. Two hairs for eggplant and one piece for cucumber!
6. In the middle of the night, I came to the pit and there was someone at the bottom. I risked my life, jumped into the pit, saved the man and died heroically. In memory of him, a lamp was installed in the toilet.
7. I found a pack of cigarettes on the side of the road and handed it to my uncle, a policeman. My uncle smoked a cigarette and nodded to me. I said happily, uncle, give me the money!
8.p is a kind of biogas, which is tossed and turned in your heart. If you are not careful, you will be released. People who fart are complacent, and people who smell fart lose their temper. Hold your fart, hold your heart, you can't squeeze out fart, exercise. P is the spirit of life, there is no reason not to let go. People who put it down are happy, and those who smell it are depressed.
9. Cars, Tick Tick, Malanhua 2 1, 256, 257, 28293 1 1.
10. Your head is a ball. When you kick it to the department store, the department store has a fan, and a fan goes to the train station, the train station and the train, and it will crush you!
1 1. Make up your mind to steal melons, climb in without fear of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties, and strive for victory and resistance to go home.
trigeminy
12. Big head, big head, don't worry about the rain. People have umbrellas and I have big heads.
13. I am your ape, sitting on your kang, your mother burns incense for me, your father kowtows to me, your grandmother gives me jiaozi, and your grandfather is my big fat man!
14. Old road, old road, have you arrived? No I don't.
15. Studying is hard and tiring, and you have to pay tuition. It is better to join the underworld, have food and play, have status, and have beautiful women to sleep with you.
16. Sorry, it doesn't matter, put a p, it stinks!
17. Rizhao incense burner produces purple smoke. Looking at the mutton string hanging in Qianchuan from a distance, I drooled for three feet and took out my pocket without any money.
18 There is a donkey in the east. Nobody rides it. I am very happy today. I'll ride it. If you drive, you will fall in love with me and crush me in the mud. Go home and let mom wash it. Mom said she would skin me and burn incense to worship Buddha. I will never ride a donkey again!
19. Often one point and two points, Amitabha three points and four points, five points and six points once a year, and never a hundred points.
20. The river is fast. My sister and I stole watermelons. My sister stole two and I stole three. My sister escaped and I was caught. My sister eats watermelon at home. I wrote a check in prison. Sister is eating melon seeds at home. I was shot in prison.
2 1. Hi-tech, hi-tech, shaving without scissors, scraping off one by one (Hao), shaving old big bags, red bags, green bags, big purple bags, and cleaning the smelly toothpaste when you go home.
22. Report to the commander that your wife is in the bay and has no pants to wear. I picked up a piece of cloth and made briefs. Make up the east and make up the west, or show your ass
23. Weave, weave, weave a flower basket. There are children in the basket. You can't get up if you squat down. 156, 157, 18, 19, 121, 256, 257, 28, 29, 356, 957, 989, 111.
24. There are many rotten fruits. Try them before you buy them. Don't blame me for your loss, because you bought my rotten fruit.
25. You are very handsome. You have a nest of cabbage on your head, a hemp belt and a kelp in your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation of SB. I remember that the second generation of Yili ice cream was very popular at that time. It's yellow and wrapped in a piece of tissue paper. I miss that smell. )
26. The first grade dies, the second grade lifts, the third grade digs a hole and the fourth grade buries, the fifth grade can't cry, and the sixth grade brother can't throw it out. (Little Brother Gun: dialect in parts of Shanxi and Inner Mongolia, meaning little chop suey and little rabbit. )
27. Pull the saw, pull the saw, and sing a big drama in front of grandma's house; Pick up your daughter and invite your son-in-law and nephew boy to go.
28. Little mouse, get on the lampstand and steal oil to eat, but can't get off. Meow meow, here comes the cat, jabbering and rolling down again.
29. An old man named Ding lent us a ball. I said three days later, and he said four days later. He bought a big sesame seed cake, spent 33 cents, planted three leeks and bought a piece of meat, which cost 66 cents.
30. You, me and Brother Hugh. You two, me two, shop assistant. You, me, three and thirteen sisters. You four me four, Shaolin Temple. You're five and I'm five, big flower drum. You are six, I am six, and I have six children. You are seven, I am seven, and seven fairies come down to earth. You are eight, I am eight and eight immortals crossing the sea. You nine, I nine, nine yin bones as the palm. Ten for you, ten for me and eighteen for the dragon.
3 1.5 1 year-old Zhou Pipi came to steal chickens in the middle of the night. We were playing a game and arrested Zhou Pipi.
32. In the table tennis match, my aunt asked me to buy vegetables, and I bought a bunch of rotten vegetables. My aunt beat me, scolded me, beat me, my mother was not at home, my aunt beat my father, my aunt beat my milk, I drank milk, my aunt beat my grandfather, my grandfather shined shoes, my aunt beat my teacher, and the teacher told the principal that the principal's order was: 1. Don't move, two. Don't laugh, 3.
33. My name is Alibaba, and my height is 1 m 88. Give you a bag of crispy rice and call me aunt.
34. Xiaohua Mall, when he went to school, the teacher told him to sleep. His left ear listened and his right ear burst. Do you find it ridiculous?
35. Once upon a time, there was a mountain with a temple on it. There is a jar in the temple. There is a bowl in the jar. There is a spoon in the bowl. There are two peanuts in the spoon. I did, but you were too greedy. My story is over.
36. Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. In the temple, an old monk is telling a story to the children. What story is he telling? Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain.
I hate it. I didn't eat fried noodles. I got hepatitis and went to the hospital.
38. The fifth young man sells burnt earth, and his trousers are rotten, and no one can mend them. Five and a half dollars, and he jumps straight.
39. One bucket is poor, two buckets are rich, three buckets are pawnbrokers, five buckets are six buckets to carry flowers, seven buckets are eight buckets to walk all over the street (selling tofu), and nine buckets are ten buckets!
40. Break your heart, my heart, put it in a string, sprinkle some pepper noodles, bake it and make mutton skewers ... (Little Tiger's love)
4 1. 12345, go up the mountain to shoot tigers, tigers don't eat people, they only eat big bad guys.
42. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze oil, and squeeze out sugar balls.
43. In this spring morning when I woke up easily and happily, mosquitoes were biting everywhere, and a big bear came at night, and no one could escape.
44. Lushan Longba, your mother hit your father, Tianma Meteor Boxing, and your mother practiced Monkey Boxing. When I was a child, I just watched saints. )
45. Love does not follow, Banlangen; Love ignores reason, but dogs ignore it.
54. She asks you for money, and the other person dares to help you hit her, which is enough.
55. I have a good girlfriend. We are not lovers. We are not LES, but I love her.
As long as you need me, I will always be where you can see me.
I tell you, with our original friendship, I dare to run wild in your life all my life.
58. As long as you have girlfriends together, you are at a loss! I hope our friendship will last forever.
The network is playful and funny.
The network is playful and funny.
1
Goods are not afraid of fakes, and kickbacks are clever;
Rice is not afraid of being expensive, but public funds will do;
Knowledge is not deep, but you can fight for it;
Art is not high, but it is red when it is submerged;
It is not beautiful, but it is famous if you dare to take it off;
You have money if you are not tall.
The ball is not in the skill, and the black whistle wins;
It's no big deal, giving a gift is success;
A wife is not ugly, but a husband is glorious if he has money.
2
Have a job and have no right to engage in greening,
Have the courage to engage in culture,
People with money and no power engage in corruption,
The popularity of claiming that cigarettes are alcohol-free,
Some small companies aim at liberalization,
That there is no mystery of land,
Only one child is suitable for us to be mothers.
three
When a man is tired, he knocks on his back.
When a man is sad, he washes his hair.
Men suffer losses, so they often gamble.
Men are very busy, so they often go to the wrong bed.
It's hard for men in this life:
Handsome, too spicy, not handsome, can't get it.
four
There is a lazy man, whose real name is Ruan, carrying a basket to sell eggs and shouting "sell eggs" and "sell eggs". No one came to buy eggs, not because the variety of eggs was chaotic, but because the skin of eggs was too soft. It's hard to buy rice without selling eggs, and it's a long way to go home for dinner. Burn the burnt grass to keep warm, and eat some soft eggs in the basket.
five
Cigarettes should be burned to the end, and old wine should be drunk until six parents deny it.
Mahjong should be rubbed to the waist, and cards should be played to Dai Yue.
You have to brag until you don't believe it, and flattery should be filmed in the dark.
Dance until you are exhausted and lose weight until you are dying.
six
Copper spoon hot oil, iron spoon cold oil, copper spoon hot oil cold oil, iron spoon cold oil hot oil. Spoon the oil into the frying spoon, and there will be delicious food every month. Stew squid pieces first, then chop mutton strips. The fire burns under the stove, the oil is cooked in the spoon, and the pot is as hot as a copper spoon and an iron spoon.
seven
The head can't be broken, and the dyed hair looks good;
No bleeding, no white head;
Don't wear old shoes, polish them when you meet your girlfriend.
The car is not small, and go on road trip is very interesting.
eight
If the examination paper is cold, you are not afraid of getting zero eggs;
Lao Tzu has no talent, so he handed in a blank sheet of paper;
I can't give up when I see a beautiful girl;
It is better to cheat than to hold back; It is better to pass the exam than to pass it.
Don't shout for a report when you are late. The class training is like this.
nine
There is a paradise on earth and a casino on earth;
If you don't eat vegetables, go online;
Have money to pick up girls, but no money to grab them;
Everyone practices boxing, curses and sings;
Unique wine rack, healthy smoking;
At this rate, it would have collapsed.
10
The beauty turned around and scared a cow to death;
I can't go with you, just because you are too ugly.
Smile and ask the ugly girl why, I have gold and oil, see if you can go,
Even if you have everything, don't bow your head.
1 1
Laborers and people who watch laborers' labor are found together, and it is impossible to tell who is working and who is watching laborers' labor. As a result, the laborer can't move, and those who watch the laborer's work can't see the laborer's work. Nobody move!
12
It is better to have a good father than to learn math and physics well; As China people, why should we learn foreign languages?
Chinese biology and geography are not as good as novels and cartoons; It is not easy to cheat in the exam, cheating teachers and parents; It's better to seize it now than to deceive yourself.
13
Smoking, drinking, playing mahjong and falling in love with online dating. Crazy with you, surfing with you, uh-huh until dawn. I patted the powder and kissed it in the middle of the road. Take a shower, blow bubbles, and sleep with your wife.
14
Moonlight in front of the window, the original debt collection shortage; Looking up, I saw a big water tank; I wish I didn't work hard when I was a child and played games all day. It's not too late to turn your back!
15
If you have more money, you will go home less; if you have more beauty, you will wear less clothes; if you have more ideas, you will do less work; if you are tired, you will have less income; if you have more power, you will have less time; if you have more lovers, you will have less peace; if you have more friends, you will have less difficulties; if you exercise, you will have less illness.
16
Mother-in-law and mother-in-law came to the hillside. Mother-in-law silently picks mushrooms, and her mother-in-law silently pulls radishes. Mother-in-law took a broken dustpan, Mammy took a thin basket, Mother-in-law picked a small mushroom with a half dustpan, and Mammy pulled out a big radish with a basket. Mother-in-law picks mushrooms to make cakes, and mother sells radishes to buy steamed bread.
17
There are forty-four stone lions in front of the Shishi Temple. There are forty-four astringent persimmons on the tree in front of the temple. Forty-four stone lions don't eat forty-four astringent persimmons, and forty-four astringent persimmons eat forty-four stone lions instead.
18
Who says there are no beautiful girls in Peking University? Boys are more like Niu Wangmo. It's not that we are too dissolute, and we can't be frivolous without money. Love painting has never been a pervert! Gentlemen, line up! Occasionally caught a strong J case, but also a female rogue!
19
People who have money and time are in good shape and peerless; People have money, no illness, no time, treasure; People have no money, no illness and no time, top grade; People have no money, no illness and no time, and the products are inferior; People have no money, no time, no temper and waste.
20
Peking University has never had an attractive mother since ancient times, only three pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants. Peking University has never had a charming mother looking at an airport since ancient times. I happened to see a Mount Fuji, which is also an early apricot.
2 1
We should lay a solid foundation for architecture and life, and improve it step by step. Life is like a building. You should use real materials to build and dope your own buildings cleanly, and eventually ruin your life.
22
Men are not jealous, and their feelings are not rich; Women are not jealous, and families are not harmonious; Children are not jealous, and their studies are not progressing; Old people are not jealous, and the more they live, the more confused they become; Everyone will be jealous and society will progress; Be a little confused and smart.
23
I told you not to be infatuated with my brother, because my brother has wasted his time and can't do such hard work. He also needs to drink often, scold the street when he is drunk, and smoke on credit when he has no money. You said he was angry with his father, but not with his father.
24
You are my favorite, you are my joke, you often rely on me, but I give you a tie from time to time to make me nervous, you often eat leftovers, and even make me often kick my legs. My dog is so good.
25
I was born with small eyes, which brought me a lot of trouble. When I was a student, my teacher allowed me to sleep. In fact, I have been keeping my eyes open, which makes me more wronged than Dou E! My girlfriend thinks my eyes are small and says I'm Garfield. I tried to open my eyes to show her, "You don't know if there is a god in your little eyes"!
26
East-west street, north and south, back along the wall, going to the cave to worry, the waist circumference is 2.5% more! It's all because of gluttony. After eating watermelon and sweet potato, it is said that sweet potato is a big tonic, and eating too much will cause intestinal obstruction, which is hard for this big mouse!
27
Love is really high now. When I met you, I asked you for money. If I have no money, I will shake my head quickly. I would say you are single. It is right to have money. You'll be engaged right away, busy eating and drinking. The reality is really subtle. Love is played by money.
28
Modern teachers are so easy to do that they don't have to write their own lesson plans. There is everything on the Internet, which he can't do in the student union. Live on the imperial salary and step on the bell to enter the classroom. The strength of the school has been saved, and tutoring is popular!
29
The weather is very bad recently, and there are often heavy rains. Experts put forward suggestions, pay attention to disaster prevention, dry bedding in time when the weather is good, then wrap your head tightly and enjoy the exposure.
30
The girl said I was nice and love didn't bring me. Girls say he is not good, scrambling to love him; Nowadays, girls are really strange, saying that he is not good is love; Do you find it strange? Should I learn badly?
3 1
There are five trees on the mountain, five cans of vinegar on the shelf, five deer in the forest and five pants in the box. Cut down the trees on the mountain, remove the vinegar from the shelf, kill the deer in the forest, and take out the pants in the box.
32
The moon is round and the sea is salty. I made a friend and stayed abroad. Sweet mouth, long legs, small hands, empty pockets and itchy heart. It costs money to touch that little hand.
33
Standing beside a burly man with big arms and a round waist, staying at home with a cash cow, missing people far away, hiding a first love in a dream, and occasionally having a gentle person who knows how to keep in good health when he is old.
34
A tour guide should have a mother-in-law's mouth, a mother's heart, treat guests, learn from A Qing's wife, laugh when they meet, and don't think about it afterwards; All the guests came, all with one mouth. As soon as people leave, the tea gets cold, everything at home is thriving, and the family never stops.
35
Tell me to look in the rearview mirror, turn on the light when there is no danger, gradually lean to the side of the road, and gently pedal my right foot. When the speed drops by half, step on the clutch, slowly brake to the side of the road, correctly control the steering wheel, and ensure that all four wheels are forward.
36
When I arrived in Beijing, I realized that I was a small official; When I arrived in the northeast, I realized that I was timid; When I arrived in Shanghai, I realized that I was not well dressed. When I arrived in Shenzhen, I knew I had no money. I didn't know I was in poor health until I arrived in Hainan.
37
Say love, love, beautiful love with your heart, dare to say that men don't change their minds, dare to say that women don't change their minds unless loess turns into gold, and dare to say that unless you have two thousand gold, you can't hook a woman's heart. With twenty-two thousand gold and an unchanging heart, you are definitely the essence of the people!
38
Chinese at least increases literary knowledge! English can be communicated with foreigners! History keeps you from betraying! Geography keeps you from getting lost! Politics makes you know how to defend your rights! Mathematics is going to ruin your life: go to the Yellow Crane Tower and calculate how far the boat in the Yangtze River is from you!
39
Why do you need to send a girl to school? Marry a rich man and enjoy happiness. Don't ask about good or bad character, as long as you have money, you are beautiful. Regardless of education level, people now laugh at poverty rather than "blindness" (illiteracy).
40
A game is really tiring. Practice before going to work every day and enjoy it all morning. At noon, I must get drunk. I often hurt my liver and stomach when I practice, and I always say that I am innocent when I sleep and practice my dreams.
Mandarin: Super funny Mandarin.
Phrases: Super funny rhymes 1. Fly to America in a hurry just to eat a hamburger; I have to say that I am the best actor when I meet a talent scout when I go out. How did these wonderful things happen? Dream!
2. Classification of students. Students who repeat grades are called: international students; Students with money at home are called gifted students; Students who doze off in class are called poor students.
3. Staring is a temper, and being beaten is the purpose. Although my arms are thin and explosive. Try it if you don't believe me!
A broken jar has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly girl's love. As long as love is as deep as the sea, Asako can shine.
I missed you secretly last night, and my dream was full of salty tears. When I woke up, what blurred my vision in my dream was a pillow of saliva.
6. Get the word in the dream, change guns for guns. Originally a three-legged cat, it added a tiger waist. Walking is powerful and heroic. It's too bad to wake up and watch. The tiger has become a straw bag
7. The taste of first love: yogurt, sweet and sour; The taste of love: wine is easy to faint; The taste of marriage: tea, if you don't change it, the more you soak it, the weaker it will be. The taste of divorce: coffee, bitter but thought-provoking.
8. One thin and one fat two women meet. The thin woman said, if I were as fat as you, I would have died in the morning. The fat woman said: When I hang myself, I must use you as a rope.
9. The so-called finger-belly marriage means pointing to your girlfriend's belly and saying to your parents: Dad, Mom, we are getting married!
10. Couples in western countries always divorce because their lover is a baby. Look at the old man under the moon in China. They are experienced, so China's marriage lasts longer. When carrot saw the customer, he respectfully handed in his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked, why is it called Korean ginseng? Carrot waist is small, people haha!
1 1. Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your face is so thick that I have no face to live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself.
12. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You walk slowly in a plaid vest. You look so detached. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.
13. One year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend, and finally her girlfriend announced that she was getting married. The groom is the postman who delivered these letters to her.
14. The barber was chatting while helping the guests to shave their faces, and they were so excited that they didn't pay attention to shaving off the guests' eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so earlier? Shaved off!
15. Husband: Honey, I was fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger?
16. There are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: it is used to stew vermicelli!
17. Stop getting drunk. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouting, are you a brother? Brother did it! !
18. I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.
19. If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!
20. I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You answer: I brought paper this time! !
2 1. It is a very happy thing to miss you; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.
22. Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together. I said emotionally, my youngest son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you! !
23. It takes two people to applaud: the golden mean.
24. Crows in the world are generally black: halo effect.
25. Flies don't bite seamless eggs: generalize by one side.
26. Everyone is equal before opportunities: impossible.
27. People live and trees die: not necessarily.
28. If there is something, change it, and if there is nothing, add encouragement: killing people does not see blood.
29. In terms of qualifications, I have crossed more bridges than you.
30. When a fellow villager sees a fellow villager, his eyes are full of tears: murder is even worse.
3 1. Snow in front of every sweeper: The world is getting worse and worse.
32. Time is like cleavage, there will always be squeezing; The generation gap is like cleavage. You don't know how deep it is until you plunge into it. Personality is like cleavage, you can only see part of others; Luxury goods are like cleavage, you can only look at them.
33. I am really anxious to get angry, deal with hot issues coldly, dare to face hardships, take a straight road to turn around, don't regret what happened in the past, don't compare with what happened in front of me, work wholeheartedly and protect my health wholeheartedly.
34. Those who have jobs have no right to engage in greening, those who have the courage to engage in culture, those who have money and no right to engage in corruption, those who have no self-styled popularity, those who have little or no liberalization goals, those who have no land to talk over their heads, and those who have only one child.
Healthy shunkouliu daquan
1. Garlic is a treasure. Eating regularly is good for your health.
Two apples a day, please bypass.
One date a day will make you live forever.
Walnut is a treasure in the mountains, which tonifies the kidney and strengthens the brain.
Iron can't come out without refining, and people are unhealthy without keeping in good health.
6. Carrots and ginseng; Eat regularly and keep mental state.
7. Tomatoes are nutritious, beautiful, young and less sick.
8. Cucumber is a treasure, and weight loss and beauty are indispensable.
9. Eating more celery is very useful for lowering blood pressure.
10. The more scallion dipping sauce, the fatter it is.
1 1. A bowl of mung bean soup in summer, detoxification and summer heat.
12. Eat three slices of ginger in the morning, such as ginseng chicken soup.
13. Women keep lotus roots for three days and men keep ginger for three days.
14. When the radish leaves the ground, the doctor will be fine.
15. Eat eggplant in October and starve to death.
16. If you don't eat green food for three days, you will see stars.
17. It is better to eat without meat, not to eat without soup.
Soup before meals is better than prescription.
19. Eat noodles and soup to avoid prescribing medicine.
20. Drink salt soup like ginseng soup in the morning and arsenic in the evening.
2 1. It is better to store it in a pot than to fill your stomach.
22. Leave a bite for every meal and live to ninety-nine.
23. Vegetarianism is good for your stomach.
24. No meat is better than no beans.
25. Eating bran rice is nutritious and healthy.
26. Eat well early, at noon and at night.
27. Overeating will make you sick, and regular quantitative can make you calm.
28. Eating in a panic and swallowing in a hurry hurt your appetite and intestines.
29. If you want to be strong, chew up your food.
30. If you want to be healthy, you will always be hungry.
3 1. Tears flow freely, and the disease naturally gets better.
32. The husband has tears, and the hero shed tears.
33. Sleep first, then sleep.
34. Medicine is not as good as heart.
35. Eat to support people and sing to support the heart.
36. People are childlike and young all their lives.
37. Smile, ten years old.
38. One day in San Xiao, life is hard to grow old.
39. Laugh often, and you will always be young.
40. Cry and cry to solve thousands of worries