/kloc-When she was 0/9 years old, Zhao Meiping went to work in Shanghai with huge debts borrowed by her mother when she was ill. She worked as a waiter in a restaurant, an assembly line worker in a clothing factory, a technician in a fashion company and a salesman in an advertising company. In her working career, she never lost her love for literature, insisted on writing and submitting articles, and finally went through hardships. She made an exception and was hired as a reporter and editor by Yin Zhi, realizing herself.
Zhao Meiping's life experience may be summarized in a few words, but only Zhao Meiping can understand the bitterness behind all this suffering, and only Zhao Meiping can enjoy the wealth brought by suffering.
Meiping's father was hospitalized for three years with leprosy. When he was discharged from the hospital in the last course of treatment, the doctor used the wrong medicine, which led to his father's death. The hospital lost 30 yuan. Meiping can't wait any longer for the bowl of egg noodles cooked by her father.
During my father's three years in hospital, my three-year-old sister Meihua pressed her legs in cotton trousers on the brazier to protect the fried broad beans from other children.
"When Meihua felt pain, her legs were covered with smoke, and the burning smell of skin and cotton trousers filled the whole room."
After treatment, Meihua's wound grew new meat, leaving a scar the size of a bowl on her chest and right leg and knee, and it was never related to the skirt again.
Mother is in poor health and often has headaches and stomachaches. At the age of seven, Mei Ping was as thin as a radish. She learned to cook and wash clothes, cut grass and cook pig food, mend clothes and help her sister comb her hair and braid her hair.
Once, I borrowed a penny from my classmates in order to buy an eraser, but I still couldn't get it. Zillah dragged several classmates to hang Meiping's schoolbag and dragged them to death.
Mother heard the news and warned Meiping: "Remember, you are not allowed to borrow money from anyone in the future!" " "
From then on, Meiping dared not get into debt easily.
Mother faints easily. Meiping has been guarding her mother and helped her pinch people and irrigate after fainting.
"I look at my mother while reading textbooks with kerosene lamps. It was a long night. I have been used to thinking or reading in the dark since I was a child. Those textbooks have also become the only spiritual comfort that makes me feel warm and no longer afraid in a lonely cold night. "
When the teacher spoke the new text, Mei Ping had memorized the text and her homework was neat and correct. She was praised as a "child prodigy" by the teacher.
In the summer vacation of grade three, Mei Ping received a glorious task-to go to the hospital to take care of her sick father. Half a month later, mom and uncle came to take them home.
My father is bald and has no eyebrows and eyelashes, but he looks healthy. Just as Meiping was preparing to leave the hospital with her father for the last course of injections, her father was killed by the nurse with the wrong medicine, and the hospital lost 30 yuan.
My father felt very uncomfortable when he got the wrong needle. He said the last sentence, "My daughter likes to eat egg noodles, please help me make a bowl ..." After that, he was incontinent and his blood became cold. Meiping can't wait for the delicious bowl of egg noodles cooked by her father.
The family that should be reunited is separated by yin and yang.
When her father was buried, Mei Ping grabbed her uncle's shovel and cried, "Don't bury him! Don't bury your grandfather! "
"I don't know whose clothes I tore and whose arm I bit. I am like a crazy little wild boar, biting and kicking. "
"My pain is so clear and profound. I watched my father buried in the mud under the pull of two relatives and friends, leaving only a high mound. Father is inside and I am outside. He is sleeping and I am crying. "
After my father died, my mother didn't want to remarry. But disasters are always unexpected.
"Every night before going to bed, my mother will put a kitchen knife on the latch behind the gate and put one under the pillow. At night, the noise of bicycles and the barking of dogs are still fierce, and there is the sound of knocking on the window. My mother always holds me and Meihua nervously and doesn't say a word. "
"I only heard village cadres say,' Yu Fang, how can we protect you? You can't send militia to live in your house, can you? You said he did all kinds of evil. Who the hell does he want to fuck? How to eat? Besides, after all, you are married. As the saying goes, it is difficult for an honest official to break housework. How can we interfere with you? In our opinion, he may be sincere this time. It is only because you don't give him face that he gets angry and scares you with a dagger. Don't be afraid. Now it is a socialist country, and he has been in prison for murder. This must be understood. If he is really good to you, that's a good thing. "Take a step back!" "
My mother was destined to marry Yang Dongqi of Yangzhuang Town from birth, because her grandfather meant her belly. Yang Dongqi's father died young and his mother was blind. Meiping's mother swore to death and was fanned into a sedan chair by her grandfather.
Yang Dongqi is notorious. His blind mother and brother were beaten by Yang Dongqi. The blind mother was thrown into the well by him, and naturally became a sandbag when she got married.
"My mother endured humiliation. Yang Dongqi spent nine years, during which she ran away from home many times and went to work on a farm far away. But Yang Dongqi, who is still haunting, always found her and took her mother home in full view. After robbing her mother for a few dollars, she ravaged her and beat her up ..."
"My mother was immersed in a fiery marriage for nine years, until my grandfather died and Yang Dongqi went to prison, and my mother was free. Mother is determined to get a divorce, because Yang Dongqi has all kinds of poisons and does all kinds of bad things. He was jailed twice for hooliganism and theft. The third time was because he fought with someone and cut off an arm. When Yang Dongqi was in prison for the third time, my mother divorced him. Shortly after the divorce, my mother was introduced to marry my father and gave birth to me eight years later. "
After Yang Dongqi was released from prison, he married a woman who made a political mistake, but this woman was abused in Nanjing. Yang Dongqi thought of Meiping's mother who lost her husband, so she knocked at the door in the middle of the night to test, and the daggers were facing each other. That day, my mother cried to the village cadres about Yang Dongqi's harassment threats and asked for help. I didn't expect that there was nothing they could do, so my mother thought of killing herself by drinking pesticides and was awakened by the soapy water thrown by her neighbors. Originally, their family and a Qinghai native intended to fly away from their miserable situation, but Yang Dongqi threatened them with a dagger. Mother's remarriage is a bubble.
Later, when her mother couldn't resist, Yang Dongqi successfully moved into Meiping's house. After staying for more than a month, Yang Dongqi showed his true colors. He said, "Give me 200 yuan, otherwise, I will sell the rice cabinet."
Mother can't scrape together 200 dollars at once. Unexpectedly, Yang Dongqi sold the rice cabinet to the coveted United States and Britain. Meiying, the adopted daughter of her mother, once resented her parents for not going to the rice cupboard when she got married. Soon, Yang Dongqi sold the square table at home.
This cruel man gambles, drinks, prostitutes and women with the looted money.
"Yang Dongqi is becoming more and more cruel to his mother's fist. Once he is attacked by animals, he will close the door and hit his mother. Every time I go home and find that the door is closed from the inside, I have a sudden fear for no reason. My mother must have suffered inhuman torture again. I was in a hurry to find Meiying to save my mother, and Meiying said I was not available. I said with tears that my mother was beaten ... and the United States and Britain didn't look up. What's the use of my going? Can I beat Yang Dongqi? "
"Mother endured all the pain alone, because no one in this world can save her from the pain, and no one can help her suffer. The poor mother was scarred and wanted to cry. I am silent every day, like a silent lamb, waiting to grow up and be strong. "
Seeing her mother's inhuman torture, Meiping happened to see the cartoon "Thirteen Sisters of Chivalrous Woman" and had the idea of killing the demon Yang Dongqi for revenge.
"One day at noon, I was chopping pig grass with a knife on the floor of my room, and Yang Dongqi took a nap in his room. As soon as he snored, my heart jumped: Isn't this a good opportunity? My heart began to beat wildly. The speed of mowing grass slowed down in my hands. I imagined the happy result of Yang Dongqi being hacked to death by me, and a little joy came to my mind. Holding a kitchen knife in my right hand, I crept to the door of the house. I saw Yang Dongqi's fat body and huge head. My heart is pounding with nervousness, and the handle is sweating in my little hand. "
"Suddenly, Yang Dongqi coughed and turned over, facing me. I'm surprised. The kitchen knife in my hand fell to the ground with a bang. I was so scared that I didn't respond for several seconds. Thank God, nothing happened in Yang Dongqi. Trembling, I picked up the knife and ran to the river to catch my breath. "
At the end of 1980+00, Meiping's mother and daughter began to flee.
One night, Mei Ping was awakened by a struggle and found Yang Dongqi beating her mother. She jumped out of bed and jumped on the hand that broke her mother's hand. Yang Dongqi gave Meiping a slap in the face. Mother and daughter are in despair, born to die.
"Yang Dongqi clap breast, bad to ruthlessly say, dare to contradict Lao tze, Lao tze see you live impatient, Lao tze never afraid of anyone in my life, Lao tze angry, dare to kill people, Lao tze will go back and get a pig knife, not religious can't you! With that, he pushed up his bike and went out. When he left, he locked the door. His home is in Yangzhuang, about five kilometers away from mine. "
In this way, after the war, the mother and daughter got out of the crack of the door and began to flee in the pale moonlight at midnight.
The stump poked Meiping in the leg, and she couldn't help bleeding. My feet were soaked with blood, and my feet were so painful that I fled to Guoyuan Township, my mother's niece, and Hongying's cousin's house, more than 20 kilometers away. Mother went to Anhui the next day to find a foothold, leaving Meiping's sister behind. In fact, my mother doesn't take Meiping and her sister because there are two "drag bottles" that are hard to find.
Sister Meiping started the road of begging. Mom told them to go to dad's hometown to find grandpa, uncle and aunt. But I was insulted.
"This begging experience has become the most unforgettable detail in my life. The love of strangers is in sharp contrast with the indifference and meanness of relatives. My little heart is filled with gratitude and hatred. "
"My aunt said that I could afford it, but I didn't! Isn't your mother very capable? Find your capable mother! When the family went bankrupt, she patted her ass and left, leaving the Zhao family to raise her daughter. No way! Even if I feed pigs, I won't give them food. Who knows if it's a fucking bitter plan? "
The 84-year-old grandfather is senile, and he can't make decisions by relying on his rich aunt.
"I said angrily and bitterly to menstruation's rich-looking face. Remember, menstruation, we won't come to your house even if we ask. Your family will not be rich for life, and my family will not be poor for life! "
So Meiping pulled Meihua and ran out of grandpa's house crying.
"My young mind is full of swelling humiliation and hatred. That is, on that day, I made two vows in my heart: first, I will make a clean break with everyone in the Zhao family from now on. Second, we must get ahead. "
On the way to begging, Meihua really couldn't walk any further. Hunger and heavy load made Meiping dizzy. I finally got up the courage to invite my family to dinner.
"That night, we compensated for a day's hunger. Although it was only corn porridge and pickles, the sweet taste was unbearable for life. What is even more memorable is the woman with butterfly spots on her face. There is only her and her four-year-old son at home. She patiently watched me and Meihua drinking porridge. I occasionally looked up and saw sparkling liquid floating in her eyes. "
From then on, Meiping knew what it meant to be kind to others. When the sisters returned to their cousin's house in Hong Ying, they heard that Yang Dongqi had killed two fat pigs at home, and she was snooping around Meiping with a pig-killing knife.
Two months later, my mother heard that she married a miner in the suburb of Wuhu, Anhui, but only took Meihua away. The reason is that the stepfather only allows the mother to take one child.
"At the age of 12, I understood what you were going to do and what it was to rely on others."
"What I never expected was that I was adopted by my adoptive parents and became a child bride. They decided to raise me to 18 years old and then marry one of his two sons. This is their agreement with their mother. "
Meiping transferred to the fourth grade in her adoptive father's house, but she still has to study and work as a laborer.
"Cutting pig grass and Leymus chinensis is a trivial matter, such as breaking corn ears, peeling corn kernels, cutting corn stalks, hoeing taro, peeling cotton, cooking, washing clothes, washing dishes, playing the field ... I have done almost all farm work and housework except carrying the burden."
At seven o'clock in the evening, Meiping will go through the overgrown cemetery and the cold and thin river to help her stepfather drink water.
The whimper of the treetops blown by the wind is creepy, and the water snake enjoying the cool in the riverside path passes by Meiping's instep, and the feeling of cold, satiny and fear reaches to the bottom of my heart.
You can only eat porridge on the small stone pier in front of the door. When you come back from drinking, no one invites you to eat peanuts, but you are wearing the old clothes of your adoptive parents and daughter. Their daughter pees in bed every night, and when she wakes up, half her body is soaked in urine. She hates it. During the summer vacation, I became a long-term worker. Two pigs and three sheep have been contracted by Meiping, and cooking and laundry is a compulsory course.
"My tenacity and hard work may be accumulated bit by bit. I haven't developed the habit of complaining about others since I was a child. What I have developed is the perseverance to face suffering alone. "
Meiping won the first place in the commune, and her adoptive parents were unhappy. They raised Meiping to prepare a child bride, not to study.
"There is no cotton-padded jacket, no sweater, and no socks with holes. Shoes are made of reeds, which are very strong, but because there are no socks to wear, the inside of the feet is empty, and the hard reeds will grind and blister the feet. Foster parents' children are luckier than me. They have warm cotton trousers and shoes made by their foster mothers. "
In the cold winter, news came that Yang Dongqi raped and strangled college students, and he was sent to prison. In the process of correspondence with my mother, my mother and stepfather came to take me back for the New Year.
Stepfather is short and stocky, with dark skin, rough hands and cloudy eyes.
Meiping has been kneeling in front of the bed for two hours, begging her stepfather to promise to take herself out of the misery. Stepfather slept soundly and said that he had enough money to support two people, so there was no way.
In order to protect Meiping, my mother had a big fight with her stepfather, who left a message: I was planted.
Adoptive father is absolutely not allowed to leave in the face of Meiping, and can't suffer a little loss. Let two sons escort Meiping, hold kerosene lamps and beat Meiping's mother, dripping with deep red blood. He also offered to pay 200 yuan alimony and stripped Meiping naked.
Fortunately, Meiping finally got out of her misery and reunited with her mother and sister.
The new home in Wuhu, Anhui Province, is three rooms built of stone, where the stepfather's family and stepfather's eldest brother live. The central hall is full of sundries, chickens and ducks are raised, and the ground is full of potholes and stinks.
It turns out that the stepfather's eldest brother was adopted to a foreign village, and his stepfather was single, saying that as long as his nephew was old and took care of him, the house was theirs.
Therefore, the arrival of Meiping three people increased the hostility of the eldest brother family. A little thing made Meiping and her mother have their hair torn, their faces and hands scratched, and they couldn't talk back when they were beaten and scolded. Only endure, only stand up.
Meiping and Meihua set up a small bamboo bed in their parents' room.
"The house is full of farm tools and sundries, full. A family of four and all the broken farm tools are crammed into a small room of more than ten square meters, and it is difficult to turn around. Especially there is a urine bucket hidden behind the door of the room. At night, whoever gets up at night is a loud noise, smelly and noisy. "
Parents will quarrel day after day because of financial difficulties, and life is hard and severe. In her spare time, Meiping throws stones up the mountain, and Meihua picks up pig excrement as farmyard manure. Meiping also likes to pick up cow dung and stick it on the wall, and dry it as fuel.
In the morning, Meiping picks up shit and comes home from school at night to help her mother smash stones. A ton of stone can be sold for two dollars. You also need to learn to throw stones, and Meiping paid the price of blood for it.
The correct posture to hit a stone is to hold the stone in your left hand and hit the target with your right hand. Meiping holds the hammer correctly, but she can't hit it correctly every time. The fingers of her right hand holding the stone were raw, and the fragments splashed into her eyes, cutting her legs and feet. Her right palm was blistered by the hammer handle and it hurt badly. Stepfather will only blame Meiping.
Meiping was admitted to the high school in the city through hard work, but the registration fee and food expenses have overwhelmed the family. Meiping didn't want to embarrass this broken family, so she let the admission notice float away with the river. /kloc-When she was 0/4 years old, she became a veritable quarryman.
There are 65,438+00 pounds and 65,438+08 pounds of hammers for work. 18kg hammer is used to smash big stones that can't be moved into small stones that can be moved, and10kg hammer is used to smash small stones into qualified bowls. There is also a crowbar, an iron rake and an iron fork for use.
There are also struggles in quarries. Light is pulling the collar, heavy is slapping, heavy is hammering stones, Qi Fei, swearing, spitting, fists, head.
Meiping's face turned black and her arms and legs became thicker after full-time stone throwing. She made a dollar bet that she would break the boulder in half an hour and defend her quarry and stones. Mei Ping once had a fight with a girl who is three years older than her.
"When light light blue reviles my ancestors for 18 generations, I can't bear it. I gave her two loud slaps, so we twisted into a ball. She's big, so she's stronger than me. I was pinned to the ground by her. We're like absenteeism. We were all injured and our faces were covered with blood and sweat. We hate each other, gnash our teeth and are panting. It looks like a trapped animal is still struggling. "
I thought Brother Lan Lan was here to be fair, but Mei Ping was thrown a few meters away like an eagle catching a chicken. Meiping had to wipe away her tears and picked up a hammer to hit the stone.
"All the stones on themselves are just subverted and smashed by themselves. Besides, no one can help you! Life is so cruel and the philosophy of life is so simple. "
"The hardest time to hit a stone is summer. The temperature in the open pit mine is as high as fifty or sixty degrees. The bright sunshine made the stone smoke. Even if you move the stone with thick canvas gloves, you can feel the heat from the heart of the stone. A drop of sweat drops on the stone, and the watermark turns white with the sound of "Zi". There is no wind at the mouth of the sunken mine. If you want to breathe, you have to open your mouth like a fish without oxygen. "
Everyone drinks water with a spoon, and it tastes sour when they rest. Meiping's greatest wish is to have books to read. I can't read at home, and my stepfather is distressed by the electricity bill. If the light in Meiping's and her sister Xiaoshi's room is on for more than ten minutes, her stepfather will pull off the switch. The room suddenly plunged into darkness. And the window is facing the toilet, smelling a stench.
Her parents wouldn't let Mei Ping study, so she thought of hanging herself and wrote a suicide note: I hate this dark world, and I hate the unfair fate ... but family care softened Mei Ping's suicide consciousness.
"I sacrificed my studies for this family, and my small shoulders shouldered the burden of my family prematurely, but they didn't even let me read books. This is my only hobby! My heart ached and tears filled my eyes. I first thought of leaving this world. "
"The idea of leaving this cold world has not been completely erased from my heart. Later, once I was scolded by my parents or quarreled with them, I wanted to commit suicide. Very eager to commit suicide. And then committed suicide. I wrote 10 suicide note back and forth, writing "burn" and "burn". I still have a suicide note written in the summer of 16. "
Meiping tried to pour two packs of rat poison into a glass of water, and the taste was particularly bad. She jumped into the river once and cut her wrist once, but she couldn't help thinking of her mother and sister.
/kloc-around 0/6 years old, books lit up Meiping's life. She borrowed many world famous books and magazines from a high school student who works in a textile factory. She copied down epigrams and favorite words.
Those books taught her a philosophy of life:
People should have two worlds, one is realistic and the other is spiritual. If the real world makes us miserable, then we get comfort from the spiritual world, and this comfort comes from our hearts. We should feel the beautiful things in life with our heart, don't indulge in pain and complaints, learn to save ourselves and learn to control our own destiny.
/kloc-at the age of 0/7, Meiping was run over by the rear wheel of a tractor. This time, the injured stepfather took the initiative to carry himself behind his back and sent himself to change his medicine, finally dissolving his hatred for his stepfather. It never rains but it pours. Not long after her injury, her mother suffered from acute cholecystitis and her jaundice broke. In the hospital, she was treated coldly because she had no money. At that moment, Meiping hated all inhuman doctors.
In order to pay for his mother's treatment, his stepfather borrowed a loan shark from 500 yuan.
"On July 28th, we had run out of ammunition and our mother had to leave the hospital early. Even the bile bag was not taken out. The doctor said that the bile flow was less, so she went to the hospital to have it removed. My mother was hospitalized for 28 days and has been handed over to the hospital before and after 1 143+0 yuan, huge debt! "
"The high temperature in July is very difficult. There is no electric fan in my mother's ward. Besides the heat, there are many mosquitoes in the ward. I wait for my mother every day, pour excrement and urine, wash my face, fan the wind to repel mosquitoes, and squat at my mother's feet for a while at night. I lost ten pounds during that time, not only because of serious lack of sleep, but also because I didn't have enough to eat. "
/kloc-When she was 0/8 years old, Meiping changed from a quarrying girl to an embroidering girl. She blushed and learned to wear a needle with a thick neck, but her hands were covered with cocoons, and the beautiful silk was touched by cocoons.
"The master will openly scold my fingers for being ugly and stupid in front of twenty or thirty embroidered mothers in the whole workshop. My tears are like the tide in my eyes, ups and downs, ups and downs ... poor and stupid people have no dignity. "
But Meiping didn't give in. But when I was disappointed, I looked at my hands with thick joints and rough skin. Then she soaked in hot water for a while every night, tore off those old skins layer by layer, coated them with vanishing cream, carefully cared for them for two months, and finally softened a little.
The time of embroidering women only lasted for eight months, and Songyuan Embroidery Factory closed down. Meiping went to apply for the crusher in the mine and was successfully admitted. At the end of the day, my nostrils are full of stone powder, and my fingers are full of thick gray mud.
"This great tragedy happened in the autumn of 1988, and the abnormal death of two vivid lives made me nervous. I hate the countryside. I hate the poor and ignorant countryside. I killed those souls who were numb because of poverty and ignorance. "
A 20-year-old girl is in free love with a young man named Xiao Jiu Zi, but the girl's parents don't like many brothers of this man, and her family is very poor. They strongly disagreed, so they entrusted their clients to act as matchmakers, found her a lame man selling briquettes, received a bride price of 3,000 yuan, and got married on August 16th of the lunar calendar. The desperate girl tried to run away with the youth, but she didn't walk half a mile. Relatives and friends broke Xiao Jiu's leg, dragged her home and locked her up.
A week later, the girl wrote a suicide note:
I'm dead. You can't do anything to me. Xiao Jiu and I really love each other. If you insist that I marry someone else, I will die for you, and I will hate you to death! ! !
And then hanged himself.
The girl's death was considered by her parents to be Xiao Jiu's fault, so she took her body to Xiao Jiu's home, forced Xiao Jiu's family to hold a three-day wake for the girl's death, and smashed all the furniture. That night, Xiao Jiu drank a bottle full of pesticides and hugged his girlfriend's body painfully.
Just when the family was heavily in debt, Dachuan, who worked at Baosteel in Shanghai, visited Meiping's house and said that there were many migrant farmers in Shanghai and jobs were everywhere. You can earn hundreds of dollars a month, which is equivalent to working on a crusher for two or three months. ...
Parents are determined not to allow part-time jobs to happen, hoping that Meiping will find a rich family to get married, so Meiping eloped with Dachuan and left without saying goodbye. Run to the big Shanghai you yearn for and start your own working career.
I won't write more about part-time jobs. It really hurts to write here. ...