I made an appointment with a beautiful MM. After watching the movie, she invited me to her home. I didn't expect that I could go home empty-handed, saying that I would go to the supermarket to buy something first, and then she said shyly to me, no, there are some left at home.

One day I asked my girlfriend to send me a photo. She sent it the next day, and I replied "hmm". She was very unhappy and asked, do you know what it means for girls to send you photos? I've thought a lot, and the answers are all wrong. Then she said: It means that it took me at least three hours to change 10 suit, pose more than 200 times, use more than 100 expressions, and delete more than 100 to choose this one. Why did you say "hmm"?

Desperate for money, I mixed a bottle of Sprite. I bought it on the 9th of last month and just drank it once. There is still a lot of gas in it, so I don't want to drink it at ordinary times. I kept it in the refrigerator, 90% new, and I was fined for a fake 10. It's really delicious. After a cold drink, my heart flies! The price is private and you can't afford it. Don't laugh at anyone when they need money badly. I bought my Sprite in a regular supermarket, so don't bother if you have no strength.

I went to visit an Indian client with a second-rate colleague. The office is very hot. The customer only wore a short-sleeved shirt, revealing the thick body hair on his arm. A second-rate colleague asked me, Brother, do you think he uses shower gel or shampoo for bathing?

Friends in the group asked for help and said, "My daughter-in-law listened to the folk prescription and asked my son to give it to urine point, but she still felt uncomfortable after drinking it. . . "A buddy replied:" The temperature is not well controlled and the drug effect is not good. Try it first when you give it next time ... "

Blind date, the first impression of her is not too deep. When I was going to invite her for the first meal, there was no spark between the conversations. However! When I went to the restaurant owner in dismay. When I subconsciously looked back. I saw that she didn't know when she asked the waiter for a steamed bun and stuffed it into her mouth with the bottom of the plate. I suddenly made a decision. In this life, it's her! Easy to raise ~

10 pack of jiaozi, busy all afternoon, turned around and found that the rabbit had thrown all jiaozi on the ground. At that time, he was furious and wanted to fight, and then persuaded himself, son, to calm down! But the fire did not go down for a long time. At this time, the son spoke: Mom, won't you scold me?

Confessing to the goddess, she said, "You are 20 centimeters away from me. If you can touch me without your head and hands, I will agree to stay with you. " . I was so excited at that time that I took off my pants and found it was a little worse. Then I had an idea and peed all over her. I just want to ask my friends, does this really count as knowing her? I'm afraid she won't recognize me next time.

I went to the hospital for a physical examination today, and there was a long queue! It's finally my turn. As a result, a calm uncle next to him stepped forward and sat in front of the doctor. The doctor said that the young man should have a look first. People waited in line for so long, but uncle pretended not to hear and didn't move. I smiled and said to the doctor, it's okay. Let grandpa have a look first. Anyway, there is not much time to live. Grandpa fainted on the spot, and now he is still dripping. . .

10 Sister is single, and breakfast is often changed to pure milk. I was drinking milk this morning. My colleague told a joke, and a mouthful of milk flowed down the corner of my mouth, just flowing to my chest and wetting a large piece of clothes on my chest. Just then, a male customer came in,,, Don't look, I'm really single ~

On Valentine's Day, I took my stupid girlfriend to dance. My girlfriend couldn't dance for the first time, so she sat in the chair next to me and ate melon seeds. Then I dance on the dance floor by myself. After dancing for a while, I saw a man coming towards his girlfriend. He extended his right hand gracefully, and then his girlfriend gave him a handful of melon seeds.

Quotations of older leftover women

1, the reality is so cruel after all, women can fight against fate, but they can't compete with time.

2. Men leave behind vicissitudes of life, while women leave behind old age. Vicissitudes are experiences, charms and temptations. Aging is helplessness, pain and ending.

The greatest misfortune of a woman's life is not to be born in troubled times, but to meet a fickle and disloyal man.

4. Women all expect to be the only and favorite of men. In fact, in a man's world, the woman he can't forget most in his life is not the woman he loves most, nor the woman he hates most, nor the woman he abandoned, but the woman he is most sorry for.

For women, all pain is being cheated and bullied emotionally.

6. In the game of love, women who know love usually lose miserably. Love is cruel, and the loser is out.

7. "Old" men are happier as they get older, while "old" women are sadder as they get older.

8. A woman likes a man who makes her laugh, but what she really loves is a man who makes her cry.

9. Women are either angels or demons. An angelic woman is a school that makes bad men quiet and ambitious. A devil-like woman is a tempting poisoned wine, which makes a good man intoxicated and beyond redemption.

10, giving up an established marriage, even the wrong marriage, is really a huge test for women. The test is not only a woman's wisdom, but also her courage to face reality.

1 1. No matter how stupid a man is, it will also make a woman in love lose her way and devote herself wholeheartedly. However, no matter how clever a woman is, no matter how charming and charming she is, it is only the man's eyes that confuse her, but it is difficult to go deep into his soul.

12, women can get to know a man intuitively, and they can get to know a man thoroughly in one night.

13, women spend their whole lives gambling on a man, talking about wisdom, but in the end they have to rely on luck.

14, for a man who likes again, it is best for a woman to love seven points and keep three points. Even if she doesn't love in the future, a woman still has a way out.

15, women are like flowers, and flowers have flowering periods. Once you miss it, even if it is fluttering in the wind, it is lonely.

16, many women who are hard to marry are not really hard to marry, but they can't cross a threshold set by themselves.

17. Women are like white wine, the sun in the sky, giving off the hottest light and shining above you forever. A woman like beer is the moon in the sky. Cold light only appears at night and disappears at dawn. A woman like red wine is a star in the sky, giving off a faint light, farthest from you, but shining in your brilliant heart forever.

18, at the crossroads of marriage, the most important thing for a woman is not to choose a suitable road, but to choose a road that does not hurt or hurts the least.

19, men are always fickle, and women are fickle.

20. A woman betting on love and marriage is actually betting on a man. Winning or losing depends on wisdom and luck, but never on reason.

2 1, women should understand that the best woman in a man's mind is always the next unknown. Don't misunderstand a man who dares to divorce you for life.

22. All women's heartbroken past is related to love.

23. A woman may forget the man who loved her in her life, but no woman will forget the man who hurt herself. Men hurt for a while, women hurt for a lifetime.

24. There is no such thing as a free lunch. Similarly, there are no beds provided by women for free.

25. A woman's greatest sense of security is not having a responsible man, but having material and money that can determine her future.

26. Women should live for themselves. No matter whether life is wonderful or not, don't lose yourself in love.

27. Men should get married at the age of 30, and women should marry themselves for love before the age of 30, otherwise there will always be regrets in life.

For women, in the material age, if no man gives you enough confidence to believe in love and look forward to the future, the best way is to choose material and money.

29. A woman is like a seed. If planted on fertile land, it will blossom and bear fruit and be extremely happy. But if planted in barren land, it will wither like mud, and life will be bleak.

30. Women would rather share it with others in the most beautiful season than enjoy it when they are lonely.

3 1, a smart woman doesn't need to beg once she meets a fickle lover. The only thing she can do is to keep her last dignity and give her a back that she will regret one day.

32. Most women are infatuated and most men are promiscuous. Infatuation will always be hurt by love, promiscuity will only be tired by love, and no matter how tired men are, they can't compare with the pain caused by women being hurt by love.

Sadness is everyone's emotional expression: "The second cup is half price." "No, I'm alone.

1, when you are just a passer-by, who are you to say promise to me?

2. A stranger's little gesture made me think about you for a long time.

You are unhappy because you don't love yourself well, and you often consume yourself because of others.

I thought he was indifferent until I saw that he cared about another person.

5. I am not a good person, why should I be too highly regarded?

6. Love cannot be hidden or disguised for a long time.

7. You told me things that worried me again and again, but I always chose to forgive you with red eyes. I admit that I am too spineless.

8, believe, wait, be firm, there may not be a person's result.

9. "The second cup is half price!" "No, I'm alone."

10, the plot is beautiful, after all, it is a drama; No matter how good the memory is, it was once. ..

1 1, I think you are standing on a deserted street corner, but you are paying tenderness in someone else's world.

12, even though there are many people around, I still feel very lonely.

13, time has changed the way you and I look, but left a shadow when you love me.

14, too many emotions are panoramic, but warm and empty.

15, society has taught me that not all people who smile at you are good to you.

16, I love you so inexplicably and resolutely. I know I won't be the only one in your life, but you are the love of my life!

17. If you don't work hard now, don't say you will get married in the future. I'm afraid you don't even have money to buy yourself a cemetery.

18, even if I love you, I will act stranger than a stranger.

19, a flower can last for a long time. In your silence, it blooms fully and heroically. Because of love, it will never wither

If you can't change the desert, you can only find a way to turn yourself into a cactus.

It's okay. You don't have to be ashamed of me. Anyway, I still have a lifetime to waste with you.

1. Those silent times, those warm memories like spring water, converge into a long river in silent operation, and the shore blooms all the way, just like our bright future.

Don't laugh at the seaside, it will cause a tsunami.

I can tell you that I am not kind.

It doesn't matter, you don't have to be ashamed of me. Anyway, I still have a lifetime to waste with you.

Don't call yourself a woman if you can't afford a boyfriend.

6. When I really put you down.

7. We are all making the same mistake, quarreling with people we like and telling the truth to strangers.

I want to look at you because I love you.

If I knew it was the last time, I wouldn't say goodbye with a smile.

10, sometimes, what if you don't say it, but say it?

1 1. Your name and my family name are on the marriage certificate, but why is love your name and his family name?

12, even if we are not together in the end, I will be grateful to have you in my life.

13, I began to learn to accept the plunder and gift of reality.

14, I naively thought that a candy could make the whole world fragrant.

15, I thought I was afraid of the farewell moment. It turns out that I am also afraid of reunion.