Self-discipline is difficult because it is often anti-human. Isn't it sweet to sit on the sofa and play with your mobile phone to brush videos? Why do you have to study? Doesn't it smell good in a warm bed? Why do you have to get up early to exercise and suffer? Most of us prefer simple, relaxed and comfortable things to complicated, troublesome and difficult things, which is human nature. Self-discipline usually requires us to overcome these weaknesses in human nature and force ourselves to act, so self-discipline is very difficult.
Under what circumstances, you don't have to force yourself to act immediately? The answer is two words "addiction". Eating sweets can be addictive, and playing mobile phones and games can also be addictive. Once addicted, we will have a strong self-driving factor in our brain and do it spontaneously. We all know this, but what we don't know is that "self-discipline can actually be addictive", such as sports addiction, and you will feel uncomfortable if you don't exercise for a day. It's just that compared with addictive behaviors such as playing mobile phones, behavioral addiction in self-discipline is really more difficult, which roughly goes through four stages: self-identity-setting traps-cultivating habits-self-discipline.
I. Self-identity
The beginning of action and change is thinking, such as going to bed early and getting up early every day and reading more books every day. Only by thinking first will you take action. The key to action is that you should agree from the bottom of your heart that it is right and must be done. If you think it will be better to do it, but it doesn't matter if you don't do it, then there is a high probability that you won't do it in the end. For example, if you think exercise is a good thing, it doesn't matter if you don't exercise. After all, I am young and healthy. If this is the idea, then the matter of insisting on exercise will go away in the end.
So I suggest taking some time to sit down and think about what you are going to do, what will happen if you do it, and what will happen if you don't? Write down the results one by one, put them in a conspicuous position, remind yourself at all times, and enhance the determination and motivation to act and change.
Second, set traps.
Setting a trap is to push yourself into a trap and force yourself to do something. For example, the "exam" in our middle school is a trap, because the score of the exam can basically decide everything. Therefore, most of us should study hard, review and do problems, especially before the exam, and everyone will become very self-disciplined.
Therefore, if you want to achieve better self-discipline, you must learn to set traps for yourself, push yourself, force yourself for a while, and let yourself form a habit. Once the habit is formed, self-discipline is gradually formed.
For example, in order to force myself to develop the habit of reading and writing, I specially made an official WeChat account and a reading group of fans. Whenever I see fans' praises, messages, private letters and requests for help, I can deeply feel that what I have done is beneficial to me and everyone, which gives me a sense of accomplishment and responsibility and forces me to continue reading and writing after work. This official WeChat account and the reading group of fans are traps I set for myself, which made me develop the habit of reading and writing.
In fact, setting traps is also a kind of "commitment mechanism". Once you make a promise or choice, it can influence and change your behavior within a certain time range, forcing you to act and change. For example, if you want to go out for a run every night, tell the people who care about you the most and care about you at the same time. For example, if you want to learn a skill, you have to spend some money to sign up for a class (in this way, if you don't learn, the money will be wasted, and this loss-averse heart will force you to act. Of course, the premise is that the money you spend makes you feel a little distressed)
Third, cultivate habits
It is often not difficult to start an action, but it is difficult to stick to it, that is, to turn a certain behavior into a habit.
One of the main reasons for the failure of action is that we misjudge the difficulty of behavior and our ability, and always think too much, so we often choose to give up because of a little setback. Therefore, we should know how to consider the actual situation, such as the difficulty and feasibility of the goal, our own ability, energy and time, and then make a specific action plan. For example, if you want to master the ability of fast reading by training "speed reading memory", you can first set a goal of reading 1000 words in one minute (it will take a little time and energy), instead of setting a difficult and unrealistic goal of reading ten lines at a time. If you are eager for success and want to do too many things at once, you may be at a loss and give up.
Among the methods of cultivating habits, micro-habits are very effective strategies. For example, you should get into the habit of reading every day, and don't stipulate that you must read several hours a day or several chapters a day; Instead, we should set a microscopic goal of "reading one page a day", as long as we finish reading one page a day, we can reach the standard, and then we can continue reading or give up. This effortless micro-behavior will help you stick to it and form a habit.
In the process of habit formation, we must learn to manage and adjust ourselves. Because in the process of concrete action, we will encounter all kinds of problems, such as not in the mood to do it, not motivated to do it, unable to do it, wanting to give up and so on. At this time, we must learn to manage and adjust ourselves, such as the following aspects:
① Record the progress: use a calendar or notebook to record the daily progress. When you are discouraged or lack motivation, look at your achievements and progress to stimulate motivation. Set milestones: break down big goals into small ones, so that you won't be exhausted and intimidated by the long journey ahead. ③ Stop and think: When you are not in the mood or state to do something, stop and think about what I can do in half an hour, what I can do in the afternoon, what I can do in the evening ... Making a plan or making a task list can not only increase your motivation, but also be a strategy to find a way. ④ Relaxation training: such as abdominal breathing, exercise, meditation and listening to music. ⑤ Set up extra rewards: for example, after reading a book, reward yourself with a movie you want to watch and a big meal. Be careful not to let extra rewards conflict with behavior. For example, the reward of exercise to lose weight cannot be a big meal.
Fourth, self-discipline
Self-discipline addiction is really difficult, but through previous efforts, when a certain behavior becomes a habit, you do it unconsciously, or you will feel uncomfortable if you don't do it, which shows that you are addicted and have achieved real self-discipline. For example, drink a glass of water after getting up in the morning. When you get into the habit, you won't want to drink it deliberately, but you will drink it naturally. When you don't drink, you will feel uncomfortable in your throat, so you will naturally drink. This is self-discipline. First of all, we need to force ourselves to do it deliberately through some methods, and finally make behavior a natural habit.