The stumbling block of family background is a problem that many people have to face all their lives. Fang Jiwei, a singer who became popular in the early 1990s, was born with beautiful appearance and excellent singing skills, but she had to face the endless test of fate. Looking back on her growth path, her parents gave her love, strength and a heavy burden. Fang Jiwei did not hesitate to take responsibility. After decades, she finally put it down gently and insisted on showing her best self to the world.

Few students in Grade 5 and 6 have never heard Fang Jiwei's songs.

In those youthful years when the college entrance examination decided life and death, her "hating the sky and changing her mind" and "dreaming of you" were linked with many people's memories. Thirty years later, she can still hum a sentence or two without thinking hard.

Where did Fang Jiwei go?

On a sultry summer afternoon, the crowd in the atrium of the department store did not rest. Among them, there is a long queue, and there are many middle-aged mature men in the team. They shyly took out posters that had been treasured for many years and asked Fang Jiwei on the stage to sign them. At the signing ceremony, although Fang Jiwei was over 50 years old, her black hair was as good as ever, and her eyes were bright and she took photos with her fans. The atrium is sultry and ventilated only by electric fans. The media called for "2 1 continuous shooting". Fang Jiwei not only cooperated all the time, but also asked him more than once: "Did his eyelashes fall off?" I'm afraid that any details will be wrong, which will affect the photo effect.

At the signing ceremony, fans (left) took photos with Fang Jiwei. Zeng Qian Yi

Fang Jiwei has given us a perfect image, but the path God wants her to take is far from perfect.

At the peak of her 25-year-old singing career, she developed thyroid follicular cancer, and the cancer cells grew on her throat impartially. Such a heavy blow is just a more familiar part of her bumpy life chapter.

Fang Jiwei's father came from a big landlord family in Monga, and his mother won the second place in a beauty contest. She married her father at the age of 65,438+09, only to find that the rice bowls of rich and powerful families were hard to keep, and the whole family was bullied by their elders everywhere. Besides, Fang Jiwei was born for the first time, so she couldn't lift her head at home. Her father is philandering everywhere, and her miserable and disappointed mother once ran away from home with Fang Jiwei.

Fang Jiwei learned to walk with the help of his mother when he was young. Provided by Fang Jiwei.

When I was a child, my relatives said,' Because I am a girl, my father won't go home'? The whole family laughed at how my mother gave birth to a daughter. I wish I were a boy! Fang Jiwei ignores the personality of her eldest daughter and always stands in front to protect her mother. Later, my father owed huge debts as a guarantor, and my mother supported a family of seven by selling sesame chicken and tea. Fang Jiwei, who is only in the third grade of primary school, found that singing in karaoke bars can help her pay off the debts at home. Not only does she not feel bitter, but she just wants to lighten the burden for her parents wholeheartedly.

In the interview, we couldn't help asking Fang Jiwei why he didn't complain about his parents when he came out to sing at the age of ten, which was tantamount to losing his childhood.

Fang Jiwei replied without thinking: "At that time, as long as my mother was well and my family was well, I didn't think it was any hard work. She said that she would never compete with her classmates. She only knows that after class, she will hurry home to do her homework, and her parents are going to drive her to sing. " If you can help the children at home learn to eat, if everything is enough, it is also an ability. 」

When Fang Jiwei was a child, he went out to sing "Singing Clothes". Provided by Fang Jiwei.

Perhaps shouldering responsibility is such a habit. When Fang Jiwei suffered from cancer at the age of 25, as a popular singer, the news of her illness had swept the major media, but her parents learned that she was going to the operating room from relatives and friends who saw the report. For Ji Wei, the other party, she doesn't want her parents to worry about even a big event. "I think they can't afford things, and their hearts will be very fragile." Until now, Fang Jiwei still talks about his dead parents with great concern.

After 1992, the tumor was successfully removed and the manipulation of fate did not stop. Originally, under the hype of the media, fans thought that "Fang Jiwei could no longer sing and bid farewell to the stage", only to find that she not only recovered, but also performed as usual, and they all lambasted Fang Jiwei for taking advantage of illness to get sympathy. The company saw her image fall to the bottom and asked her to quit the music scene, and demanded huge compensation for her unfulfilled contract.

1992, the media reported the cancer surgery in Fang Jiwei. Reprinted from China Times

"I'm the one who is obviously sick and undergoing surgery. Why was I later considered a liar? Fang Jiwei was black and blue and left her former employer. 1 Half a year after leaving the music scene, she joined Jin Dian Records Company. 1995, she chose to fade out of the music scene again, because she found that her parents, whom she cared about most, had a red light on their health.

Fang Jiwei's parents have been suffering from hypertension and diabetes. Suddenly, they learned that their daughter had undergone cancer surgery, and their mother was so scared that her hair turned white within a month. She took her parents for health and took Chinese medicine, but it was still difficult to resist the threat of years to her health. When Fang Jiwei was 38, her father suddenly felt pain in his lower abdomen. She swallowed a contrast agent in the hospital for scanning. Her cheerful father told her pessimistically: "Daughter, help me if I have good conditions, and give up if I have bad conditions. 」

At that moment, Fang Jiwei's whole heart choked and tears almost came to his eyes, but he still had to patiently tell his father: "I am here, how can you be okay?" 」

Unfortunately, my father was diagnosed with small intestine cancer. Seven hours after the operation, a large bucket of tumors was opened. The following targeted drug therapy led to severe diarrhea in my father. Every time after dinner, he has to go to the toilet one or twenty times. My father is afraid of taking medicine. Fang Jiwei always patiently coaxed his father into taking medicine. It took five years from her father's cancer to his death. She gets up at 5 o'clock every morning to make Jinglitang for her father.

What distresses Fang Jiwei most is that his father fell down as soon as he stood up because his blood pressure dropped too fast at the end of cancer. His face-saving father insisted on diapers. He said, "What a pity! I have to step on the ground to go to the bathroom. Dad, whose cancer cells have spread, still jokes from time to time to let everyone decompress and even sings to people who come to see him in severe pain.

Fang Jiwei took a picture with his father before he died. Provided by Fang Jiwei.

"His pain doesn't show, it only gives you happiness. Why should others bear your pain?" Fang Jiwei obviously inherited this characteristic from his father. Compared with my father's lotte, my mother is the opposite. Perhaps because of the hardships of life, "my mother will compare with others who is more bitter." 」

After my father died, my mother spoke to the wall from time to time, and her personality became more violent. The same words are repeated repeatedly, and the words are heavy and direct. "Once I can't stand it, saying that you can't live, and I can't live. Fang Jiwei, who has a high emotional intelligence, is not perfect, but later found out that her mother was so depressed and her heart was full of sadness. She changed her previous "more real" personality and began to cooperate with the performance.

She tried to take her mother's side in everything, even if it was unreasonable. For example, Sun Tzu's grandmother: "This sentence is said for the fourth time!" Fang Jiwei followed: "Where? This is the first time. Mom will be very proud and energetic after listening.

My mother has worked hard all her life. When I was young, I miscarried seven or eight times because of my infirmity, and I had to bear the burden of creditors coming to collect debts. Fang Jiwei understands her mother's worries, which can never be solved by a verbal statement that "it's all over". She constantly encouraged her mother from the small details of life, "alas, today's hair is so beautiful and makeup is so beautiful!" I also buy skin care products to help my mother make up. When my mother is happy, she forgets who likes and who doesn't.

"Give priority to her, and she will feel accompanied." For the sake of her mother's medical expenses, Fang Jiwei took over TV series and made an announcement. In addition to taking her mother back to the clinic regularly, she has to be nervous at any time to deal with the sudden situation that her mother will lose her mind in her later years. She either goes for a walk in the middle of the night or blames her daughter for something for no reason. Exhausted Fang Jiwei suffered from insomnia for a long time and had to rely on religious belief to calm himself down.

In his later years, Fang Jiwei (left) accompanied his mother with depression and dementia. Provided by Fang Jiwei.

Seven years after his father died, his mother died peacefully in a chair. Taking care of parents for nearly 20 years, from the perspective of others, it's hard to see that Fang Jiwei has paid with no regrets. It's hard not to wonder why there are so many people at home, but it's hard for Fang Jiwei to understand: "Aren't they your parents?" Then why didn't they say something when they gave birth to you? Why didn't anyone come to help me raise this child? 」

Hua Youming, a reporter who interviewed Fang Jiwei's new book "Lemon Black Tea Brewed by Years" for half a year, observed that Fang Jiwei outside the camera was always quiet and low-key. The only people who want her to prove herself are her parents, so she values family more than life. "She also needs this sense of existence," Hua Youming said. Every time she listens to Fang Jiwei telling irrational stories she met in the past, even she can't help saying, "Why don't you …", but Fang Jiwei is still the same.

The day of the interview was three years after Fang Jiwei's mother died. When she talked about her mother, her face immediately burst into a gentle smile: "All I can think about is her beauty! She is elegant and beautiful, and is the most feminine woman in our family. After taking the photo, she looked at her finger and suddenly said thoughtfully, "After my mother died, my nails fell off badly and won't get well for a long time." 」

Fang Jiwei's nickname is "Child". Seeing the children's paintings, he couldn't help being childlike. Zeng Qian Yi

I can see that Fang Jiwei actually misses her mother, but she won't show the feeling of dog blood dripping on her head, and she also remembers what her father said, don't let others bear their own pain.

Although my traditional mother used to say before her death, "I don't want to leave because you are not married." Fang Jiwei, who chooses to be single, understands that parents are worried about their children all their lives. "I want them to know that I have always been brave and I can handle things well." I believe that my parents in heaven have heard Fang Jiwei's intentions and persistence.

Small file |? Sophia

Taiwan Province province female singer and actress, born in 1967, debuted in 1988. Her popular songs include Regret, Sleeping with Apologies Every Night, Hating that God changed her heart, and Dreaming of You. She has won the title of "fender goddess" for four consecutive years. At the age of 25, he developed thyroid follicular cancer. After a short comeback for a year and a half after surgery, she faded out of the music scene. Later, he mainly performed TV plays and public welfare Shang Yan.