Can a person who divorces on the grounds of disagreement between the three views really meet someone who disagrees with him? In the face of disagreement, divorce, make do or make some other changes?
There is a poem about love that describes: two people who love each other, their eyes are not looking at each other, but looking at the same direction. This sentence means that I love you, not you, but your thoughts. Of course, this idea is determined by one's concept, that is, three views.
After marriage, many people find that they can hardly communicate with their partners. Two people are talking with a duck in a chicken, doing the opposite thing. You live in your world, and I live in my world, basically like two parallel lines. When there is no integration, it is really a very painful thing. If emotions are not vented and thoughts are not understood in marriage, there is really no need to continue to make do.
However, it is not advisable for some people to divorce on the grounds of "three views disagree". Are there people in the world who have completely different views? If not, do you want to be single all your life?
Sister Chen is an avant-garde person. She has always advocated that women should have their own independent thoughts and not be attached to men's lives. Therefore, Sister Chen has been active in her work and has never relaxed herself. She spends time studying whenever she has the chance. In her mind, as long as people learn from time to time and make progress from time to time, otherwise, they will be eliminated by this society.
However, Chen Jie's husband doesn't think so. He always thought that life should be easy. When he works hard, he should forget his work, and when he enjoys his work, he should completely relax. He often criticizes Chen Jie for not knowing life, and Chen Jie also thinks that he is not enterprising. Finally, Sister Chen broke off her first marriage on the grounds of disagreement between the three views.
Sister Chen found a second husband according to my own ideas. The second husband is really a devoted person. He believes that men should work hard outside, and only by surrendering to the world can they prove themselves.
At this point, Sister Chen is quite appreciative. However, Chen Jie's second husband believes that women should do what women should do. It is natural for men to farm, and women should be husbands and godsons. There is some male chauvinism in his ideas, which my sister can't stand, but when Sister Chen found out, they had been married for a long time. Sister Chen wants to subdue him. She thinks that men and women should be inferior in all aspects. But in this concept, the two people have complete opinions and there is no disagreement.
Sister Chen didn't feel that she could finally meet someone who has a common language with me until her fifth marriage. She counted carefully, the first husband was not enterprising, the second husband was male chauvinist, the third husband was affectionate, and the fourth husband was too suspicious. Sister Chen thinks that I have been wronged in my life. Why didn't she meet someone who resonated with me?
It was not until she was nearly 50 years old that she met her fifth husband. She thought that God had finally opened her eyes and finally waited for this person who could disagree with her.
What Chen Jie never expected was that shortly after she married this husband, Chen Jie turned to him for help, because her family was in urgent need of financial assistance, but her husband frankly refused. He and Chen Jie are financially clear. His standard is that I don't spend more on you, and you don't spend more on me. They'd better be financially independent.
Sister Chen said that she was just helping, not asking you for money, but her husband asked for a justified agreement with Sister Chen and asked for a third party to testify, otherwise she wouldn't help. Sister Chen's heart has never been so cold. This is not my husband. At the critical moment, she values money more than anything else, and has no human feelings at all. Can she still spend her life with such a person?
Sister Chen completely ended her fifth marriage and completely broke the idea of getting married again.
In retrospect, Sister Chen thought my first husband was not bad as a whole. How could he take out the money at a critical moment without signing an agreement with me? And it seems that every marriage is not as good as the last one. Until the end, she was exhausted and never wanted to get married again.
Sister Chen finally understood that there are no people with completely different views in this world, only people with similar views. In marriage, always thinking about finding the right person, I'm afraid it's futile all my life.
The biggest mistake in marriage is to find someone with a completely different outlook on life. Sometimes you will find that the basic reason that affects marriage is that the three views are not basic. If you want to run a good marriage, you have to learn not to force the other person to be obedient to you, but to learn to change a little bit and learn to understand and tolerate each other. Sometimes "understanding" is more important than "love".