In a family with average conditions, will parents compare with a family with good conditions? When comparison occurs, guilt arises. Guilt makes parents try their best to give their children the best conditions, and doting happens. The consequences of this are:

Parents don't want to admit the status quo of the family in front of their children, and always give them an illusion, deceive themselves and even deceive their children. I have to do my best to meet the growing needs of children under the condition of insufficient funds. My efforts can't keep up, and my parents are slowly falling into the pit they dug, making it difficult to climb out.

Even more frightening is that this guilt will turn into cruelty. Spoiled children often lose respect for their parents. They have paid so much, but they are not respected. What will happen? The emotions in my heart have been accumulating until one day, "love becomes very"!

Do you think the child won't get hurt because the child is injured? They are also very entangled in their hearts. Rome was not built in a day, and children's disrespect for their parents is a habit formed day by day. In fact, they are also very guilty and comfortable. Most adults only see their debauchery and arrogance, but few people go into their hearts and see what they need. Is this the life they need?

I once saw a child who entered a juvenile reformatory, crying to his parents: They don't understand me at all! What I want is not how much money to give me, but what I want to do! I want to travel. They don't believe me, saying I can't do it, for fear that something will happen to me. They never respect my opinion. ...

In fact, children only need a chance to grow up. ...

How to cure? An ordinary family needs to do the following three things:

Of course, the above methods are aimed at older children in adolescence. For younger children, just be yourself and admit that you are an ordinary family. In daily life, from words and deeds, let children understand their parents' feelings and gradually grow into children who understand their parents.

In ordinary families, both husband and wife are generally from bitter backgrounds and have suffered. After marriage, through their own efforts, living conditions gradually improved. They believe that now that their living conditions are good, they have the ability to protect their children in an all-round way, and they don't want their children to repeat the same mistakes. I can't let my children go through their own hardships, hardships and sins again.

As a result, the family conditions are average, but the children are raised into "rich second generation", and they are given whatever they want, no matter how much they spend or how much they pay, they are as satisfied as possible.

In real life, this situation is very common. I have suffered too much, and I put my expectation of not suffering on my children. When children are born, they try their best to meet all their needs. They would rather do more than let their children do it. Children just need to enjoy it.

Over time, children have developed the bad habit of spending money lavishly and being selfish. There is nothing he can do. He is a veritable constantly chauffeured, with little skill, big tone, low vision, low head, low head, nothing to do, and nothing to do.

Such a child can still have a support when his parents are alive. If parents are not alive, they at least have no ability to survive. It's really sad

Children are the heart of parents. There are no parents who don't want their children, and there are no parents who don't care about their children. But I think love can. Yes, just meet the basic needs of food and clothing, and you can't give your child whatever he wants. Love, don't love too much, too much love is doting.

If you spoil your child too much, you won't let him suffer. In the future, he will grow up, just like a flower in a greenhouse, which can't stand the wind and rain.

Overindulgence and raising children as "rich second generation" will only harm children and do no harm to their growth.

I only hope that parents in the world can educate and train their children from an early age, but they can't spoil them, carry forward the spirit of hard work, and intend to let their children undergo tempering from an early age and cultivate their ability to be independent and self-reliant. Only when children grow up can they be invincible in society.

Hello, I'm a snowman.

What do you think of "the biggest sorrow of ordinary families: the children are brought up to be rich second generation under ordinary conditions"?

My opinion is very sad. Why do you say that?

This kind of problem is very common, which shows that many families are like this. Why is this?

First of all, it has something to do with our traditional ideas. There are too many legends about the love between father and mother in the traditional concept. For example, a child travels a thousand miles, but his mother is worried, and his mother travels a thousand miles without worrying. This shows that since ancient times, our parents have paid too much for their children. I don't do as well as others, and I'm afraid my children will complain, so I'd rather lose myself than lose my children and give them the best.

Secondly, it also shows that our living conditions have been improved. Ability to provide children with better living and learning conditions. If not, what will you give? I remember when I was a child, my tuition was only a few dollars, but my parents didn't have it yet. It will take a few days to hand it over to the teacher. Now! Who will worry about tuition? I have no money to pay my own tuition. Do you think parents will raise their children to be rich second generation?

The third is parents' own psychological compensation. Because I have suffered a lot, I have suffered a lot, and I can't let my children repeat my mistakes. I used to live like that, just like now I say I used to be able to work without you. You can't live without a job now. Everything you do to your children is actually compensation for yourself, but some parents haven't reacted yet.

Parents' love for their children is understandable, and parents all over the world are the same. Parents should also keep pace with the times and learn to change and grow in life. Only in this way can this situation be avoided, which is the subject's concern.

Why do parents have to study?

Parents are parents when they have children, and they have never learned how to be good parents. To understand the relationship between parents and children, it is a kind of relationship that is gradually drifting away and slowly separating. After all, children have to live their own lives independently, and parents can't always accompany their children.

Parents are not worried about their children's bad life, but actually worried that their children can't accept their own life. If you want your child to be independent, you must first learn to be independent. Treat children as independent individuals. I believe that children can live the life they want by themselves. Parents only need to help their children when they need it, and distance companionship is effective companionship.

These are some of my views, I hope I can help you and wish you happiness!

Poor domestic Pampers, parents are exhausted and can't satisfy their children's desires. Ruined the child's life and made the parents suffer all their lives. Causality!

Children, from the beginning of thinking and behavior, generally speaking, when they can understand people's words, they should know that their parents' ability, family's economic situation and their needs are infiltrated into children in stages.

Parents, no one doesn't care about their children, and want to give them the best. But if you exceed your ability to raise children, it will be more than just the sorrow of two generations. Perhaps it is the sorrow of three generations or even the whole family!

The biggest sorrow of ordinary families is to treat their children as rich second generation. Here, both husband and wife work hard, working day and night, resting in the factory to help others work in the fields, and working endlessly to save money like an old ox. Let their son stay at home and don't let him do any work. Eat well, dress well, play with mobile phones all day, and wander around. This kind of parents won't hurt their children, but they won't save money when their parents are old. They haven't thought of it yet, and they will regret it in the future.

I can often see a little boy, in his teens, holding a broom about his height and helping his mother as a sanitation worker clean the park. Every time after sweeping a road, mother and son will drink water and wipe their sweat on the bench, talking and laughing, and the picture looks very warm.

This scene in front of me reminds me of a news the other day:

A little girl in Zhejiang shouted at her mother at the dinner table, "am I your own?" 1200. Are you starving me? The living expenses of my classmates are several times that of me! "

After careful inquiry, I realized that my daughter was going to college soon, and my mother had to give her 1200 yuan living expenses every month, so I flew into a rage.

Later, my mother also explained that this money is only for your meal, and clothes and shoes will be paid extra, but my daughter doesn't seem to buy it. ...

Children of the same ordinary family, why do boys who just went to primary school know how to be considerate of their mothers, while girls who are about to go to college become "baiwenhang"?

1. This morning, I couldn't help but disturb the little boy's mother: "Your son is so sensible, how can he be educated?" Suddenly ask me questions to my face.

Mother is at a loss and is not good at words. She couldn't say anything big, but whispered in dialect, "Our poor child has been in charge for a long time!" "

We have all heard this sentence, but there are also many children in ordinary families like the female college student in Zhejiang who are still ignorant. I know there must be other factors that make this difference. It was not until I saw this story that I suddenly realized.

A child is addicted to surfing the Internet in high school, and often jumps over the wall to surf the Internet in the middle of the night. On one occasion, he climbed over the wall as usual, pulled out his feet halfway, and ran back, looking strange and asking nothing. Since then, he has studied hard and stopped surfing the Internet. There is a rumor at school that he is a ghost. Later, I was admitted to a prestigious school, and my former classmates asked about it. He was silent for a long time, saying that his father came to deliver the living expenses that day, so he couldn't bear to stay in a hotel and sat under the wall all night.

In fact, children are not born to understand their parents. Only when we truly feel the hardships and pains of our parents can we understand their good intentions.

On the contrary, if parents always bear the hardships of life alone and deliberately create a carefree living environment for their children, how can they expect their children to know their parents' kindness? How can a teenager soaked in honey know the taste of sadness?

Just like the student in the story, how could he turn over a new leaf and study hard if he hadn't accidentally discovered his father's difficulties when he climbed over the wall?

2. There is a terrible phenomenon in China today-the "rich second generation". That is, no matter whether you have money or not, you will raise your children as rich second generation.

China's parents all think: "No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education, and no matter how bitter you are, you can't be poor in children." So there are often a couple, four old people, all around the children, reaching for clothes and making ends meet. It's really scary to hold it in your hand.

In the past, it was true that "the children of poor families were in charge early".

I was studying at that time, because my family was not rich, so I never squandered money, because I knew that every penny my parents gave me to study was hard-won, and it was their hard-earned money. Not only me, but also my classmates. We have witnessed the hardships of our parents since childhood, experienced the hardships of life, and have the determination to change our destiny by struggle.

On the other hand, some families are not well-off, feel indebted to their children, and worry that their children are not as good as others' children, resulting in inferiority complex. On the contrary, it is even more spoiled, spoiled. Most children lead an extremely happy life. There is air conditioning when it is hot; There is heating when it is cold; Every family has snacks to eat; Everyone has new clothes to wear. No matter how hard and tired parents are, they are reluctant to let their children suffer.

We gave all the beautiful things to our children, but forgot to tell them that the hardships of life are unimaginable. Parents' excessive "care" makes children enjoy everything with peace of mind and forget to be grateful to their parents. At the same time, it also breeds many bad habits of vanity, laziness and ignorance.

Nowadays, parents always want to give their children the best conditions, which is actually harmful to their children. Giving children real growth, making them understand hardships, teaching them to cherish gifts and wealth, and guiding them to rely on diligence and hard work are the deepest gifts for children.

Faced with the hardships of life, there are two choices: one is to blame others and give up on yourself; The other is to face it calmly and be self-reliant. Parents' choice and demonstration are very important.

A will quality that is still full of hope in difficulties and tenacious in poverty. Children raised by such parents will not develop shabby, mean and formal habits even if they live in poverty. On the contrary, I can face the reality, temper my heart and enter the realm of "extremely enduring hardships, so I can drive hard".

It is an inescapable reality that a poor family has raised a rebellious son.

In real life, there are really many such families.

Many parents generally think that their generation has suffered a lot. When it comes to children, no matter how hard and tired they are, they can't continue their sins, so they try their best to create the best living conditions for their children.

I once taught a student, which is such a typical example.

Children's family conditions are particularly difficult, and the source of income at home only depends on dozens of sheep fed at home. However, children's clothes and daily expenses are extravagant, and a pair of Jordan basketball shoes on their feet costs more than 600 yuan.

I once talked to his father about this problem, and the parent told us that as long as the child feels good, we should try our best to satisfy him.

However, children squander their parents' hard-earned money at school, but they are not grateful at all, their academic performance is in a mess, and they often violate school-level class rules. Every time I invite this parent to school, I feel particularly painful when I see this parent's helpless eyes, but this child can't understand his parents' sadness and good intentions at all.

Last year, the winter vacation was coming. In the second year of our school, a child refused to come to school anyway. Parents, relatives, friends, teachers, including school leaders took turns to do ideological work for him, but they were all called in at last.

The children's family conditions are particularly bad, but their parents are very fond of them and pampered them.

After the children come back from school, they sleep in the dormitory and play games all day. He doesn't get up in the morning and doesn't sleep at night. He eats two meals a day and stays indoors all day.

As soon as mother talked about it, she had a runny nose and burst into tears.

She said that we can't push the child too hard now. If we push too hard, the child will die for her and run away from home.

In fact, all the problems manifested in children are actually problems of family education in the final analysis, and the roots are all on parents.

The poor raise rebellious children, and the consequences are only swallowed by the parents themselves.

At present, parents in China have gone crazy in educating their children, and some parents have completely lost their reason and rationality in educating their children.

For the sake of children's education, many parents really do their best, at any cost, regardless of cost, even if they borrow money and loans.

Some children, living in a comfortable life created by their parents, live a life of food and clothing, and completely lose the ability to struggle and struggle for knowledge.

They don't understand how today's life comes from. I don't know what is struggle, what is hardship, what is effort and what is struggle! In their view, today's food, clothing, housing and transportation are all right, and they don't need to make too much effort to fight for it.

Many children are really spoiled now. Such pampered education not only makes children lose their ability to survive and live, but also makes them lose their beliefs and goals in life.

Nowadays, many parents never consider what kind of burdens and burdens they bear in life, nor their own abilities and actual situation, and put all their resources into creating the best living conditions for their children. For the sake of children, even if you eat bran and swallow vegetables yourself, you will not hesitate to sell iron in the pot.

However, such good intentions often make children forget what life in honeypots should be like, thus losing their ability to survive and live. Even they don't know what they live for and how to live.

Many children have no direction and goal in life and are not interested in anything. They are lazy, lazy and idle. They don't think about anything and don't want to do anything. They just want to sit back and enjoy success. Dance Academy is a complete nerd.

Poor families and rich families are the most terrible educational mistakes.

I hope parents can be sober. If they want their children to grow up, grow up and succeed in the future, they really want their children to experience more, experience more and suffer more. These are essential nutrients for their growth.

I feel the same way! Your sharp eyes have penetrated a painful real problem in society! Because there are fewer children, families do have more money to eat and wear than before. Another more important reason is the lack of educational awareness of most parents in China, and there is also an important social misleading, such as the temptation of slogans such as "No matter how hard you suffer, you can't suffer your children", which makes many parents respond to their children in material life and try their best to satisfy them, sometimes even surpassing some rich second generation. Wear famous brands, eat high-grade, and spend a lot of money. This is indeed the sorrow of China families at present. Many parents would rather tighten their belts to satisfy their children's endless desires.

This practice actually harms children, so that many children can't stand the pain at all now. They are very delicate, fragile and selfish because they take it for granted.

Everyone has seen this, which is a very good thing, so that netizens with this knowledge can unite and shout loudly to the society: spoiling children will kill them! Parents, don't be proud of it!

Working in the countryside, I met many similar families.

Case 1: A family, husband and wife, a child, the husband works as a bricklayer, the wife cultivates land and occasionally grows vegetables.

At the beginning of each year, my husband goes out to work and knows how to be a bricklayer. Because people are honest and unwilling to use their brains, they can only earn more than 20 thousand a year. So they will be scolded by their wives every year when they come home for the New Year.

My wife planted several acres of land and several vegetable fields at home. Except for pesticides and fertilizers, the rest can only make ends meet.

After more than ten years of marriage, the house was built by my parents, without any good furniture and accessories, and there was no savings at home, so the days barely passed.

My children go to primary school in the town. In the year of graduation, my wife heard that there was a good school in the provincial capital, so she asked her relatives and friends to go there to attend junior high school. Relatives are also very helpful and have found many relationships. Finally, she promised her children to study there, but the school has regulations that students who are not in the service area should pay sponsorship fees. In addition to paying the same fees as other students, you also need to pay a one-time sponsorship fee of 50 thousand yuan. At the same time, the school does not provide accommodation and needs to rent a house to accompany it.

Anxious wife, hardened her heart, gritted her teeth, borrowed from the east and borrowed from the west, and paid the sponsorship fee. Besides, she has to borrow money to rent a house to accompany her.

Now, the burden of life falls on my honest husband, and I really doubt whether he can afford it.

Case 2: Family B, parents divorced, father alive, only eating and not drinking, mother remarried, leaving three children to live with grandparents.

The father of three children, who has no opinion since childhood, likes to flirt with others. He doesn't ask for or give any financial support to his children, and the money he earns is not enough for him to spend. He hasn't been home for the Spring Festival for many years. Where's his mother? After remarriage, I also have children, so I can't take care of myself and have no financial support for my first three children.

At present, the livelihood of the three children depends entirely on their grandparents in their seventies to be sanitation workers and sweep garbage. The wages of rural sanitation workers are very low, only 1200 a month, and both of them do it, 2400 a month.

It stands to reason that it is more appropriate for such families and children to go to school, and they must go to public schools that do not charge. But grandparents, one is looking forward to their grandchildren, and the other is comparing, so they sent one of their grandchildren to an aristocratic school.

I don't know how many years their grandparents can work, how much they can save, how long they can last with such a long way to go and so much money to spend in the future.

In life, it can be said that there are still many such situations. Ordinary families, with a slightly thin income, have to send their children to aristocratic schools and live the life of aristocratic children.

As an educator, I know that there are many factors for a child's success, and attending an aristocratic school is not one of them. I really doubt that they will succeed in a few years.

Sad!

Hello, I'm Sister Zhen, and I'm glad to answer this question! The question is: What do you think is the biggest sorrow of ordinary families? They have ordinary conditions, but they raise their children as rich second generation?

Let me give you an analysis of my personal point of view.

Spoil is a word that appears in most families in China. It is a fact that a loving mother often loses her children. In fact, not only boys, but also most girls are spoiled, completely changing their outlook on life and values. Again, I want to say that if your family is an ordinary family, please don't treat your children as "rich second generation".

Rich second generation cannot be equated with being fat. What is the second generation? In China, there may be many rich people, but the little brother Wang Sicong, whom we are very familiar with, was really born directly at the end of his life. What is fat? In reality, I believe there are many examples around you.

I don't think it is so exaggerated that boys are poor. It's just that if your family is an ordinary working class, then don't spoil your child and raise him as a rich second generation, because you can't accompany him for a lifetime unless you can raise him for a lifetime, so as a parent, you should do the following three things:

1, can't give everything you want.

Whether it is a child who has just spoken, or a high school student or a college student who has reached adolescence, they will have their own values and needs. At the same time, think about whether it is necessary to buy this thing for him. If it is not necessary, it is necessary to severely refuse and let him suffer setbacks. We must make him understand that there are many things in this world that can be obtained by our own efforts in the future, not by coquetry, willfulness and temper tantrums.

2. Learn to be a man in advance

We often hear a saying: "You just need to study and don't care about anything else". Yes, you told him yourself. I just need to study, and you can solve the rest. When he is not satisfied, he will talk to your closest relatives like a vampire. In fact, compared with learning, the most important thing is to guide children how to learn to be a man, because being a man is what it is.

3. Open a small stove every day.

Making extra meals for children every day and making what they want to eat may seem small, but it actually has the greatest impact. If he is like this since he was a child, he will feel that everyone should be kind to him and all the good things should be his. Speaking of this, I also think of one of my fellow villagers. His family has two sisters and a younger brother. Who is the younger brother? Until now, when he comes home from work, his sister can still play. His wife is still there. When we first saw him, we were really surprised. How old are you? His mother said he was the baby of the family. His two sisters should let him go, and they have been used to it since childhood. I am really speechless. I'm just thinking about how wronged his two sisters have been since childhood.

Being a man in advance, many times, setbacks can make people grow up. It is true that parents love their children, but don't be spoiled. If it is an ordinary family, don't get fat and raise your child as a "rich second generation". Otherwise, you will be the last person to get hurt.