Love is beautiful, but reality is poor. Most middle-aged and elderly women remarry in order to find someone who can help each other spend the rest of their lives.

After all, modern life is fast-paced and children are busy. It is a luxury to be able to take time to go home for dinner. Few people have the ability to spend a lot of time with the elderly. It is better to find a bosom friend to accompany you than to die alone.

"Although Sang Yu is late, the world is sunny." Old people can get over it and start a new relationship. What they need is a combination of trust and mutual assistance, not mutual calculation and concealment.

After all, in marriage, both parties can be relatively fair and both parties will pay for this family. The first marriage is still like this, let alone the second marriage. If you just run for money, or let the other person take care of himself without income, such a combination will not be happy after all.

I have read such a case on the Internet, which is about a middle-aged female reader surnamed Zhang who married a strange city for her love.

As a result, in real life, she discovered that sweet promises cannot replace the differences and living habits of two people in real life. Moreover, a man with a teenage son can be described as "uneducated".

After getting along for four months, Ms. Zhang has been calling "Hello"; If there is a dish he likes on the table, others can't eat it; When Ms. Zhang was sweeping the floor, the boy threw rubbish underground. Ms. Zhang discouraged, and the boy replied that this is my home. Even that boy stole money from Ms. Zhang's bag while she was unprepared. ...

These things, Ms. Zhang has communicated with men. As a result, the man's answer is: the child has been like this and can't control it. Ms. Zhang feels that as a stepmother, it is more difficult to discipline other people's children. She should be happy and be a rewarding "nanny".

02

In fact, no matter at what stage of life, the essence of marriage is actually like a contract, and both parties exchange their existing resources to ensure the balance in marriage.

But if one party is only out of possession, then the marriage will lose the motivation to persist and it will be difficult to continue.

Ms. He, 6 1 year-old, also chose to remarry in her life. The problems she and Ms. Zhang face are different, but they are similar in essence.

When Ms. He was 54 years old, her lover died. It took an optimistic and cheerful Ms. He a long time to get over the grief of losing her lover.

Seeing that her children have established a family and have a long life, Ms. He has also been persuaded by others to remarry in order to have a companion for the old age and a person who can rely on each other and know how to be warm and cold.

Ms. He has many hobbies, such as learning flower arrangement, keeping in good health, and occasionally going out for short trips with her sisters. On the way to travel, Ms. He met a bosom friend.

This man is 67 years old and has been widowed for more than two years. Two people are like-minded, and the man looks honest and steady. Later, with the encouragement of the two sisters, they often took a walk and drank tea, and gradually developed feelings. The man and Ms. He put forward the idea of cohabitation.

After discussing with the children, Ms. He also had the idea of giving it a try, and said that she would get along for a while and get a license if appropriate. But the man said, we are both over 100 years old, so we don't pay attention to that. There's no need to make too much noise. Just move in and we'll go through the formalities later.

As a result, after Ms. He moved in, the man never mentioned getting the license. Later, Ms. He learned that the man's family had an aunt who worked as a part-time cleaner. After she moved in, the man dismissed her aunt.

That man has already transferred the house to the child's name. Ms. He feels that she also owns real estate and never cares about his house. Now I'm guarding her like a thief, and my heart can't help getting cold.

03

After Ms. He moved to her husband's house, she really went to live. Their lives not only use the man's salary, but also Ms. He's salary as daily expenses. Not only that, she has to take care of the man's food, clothing, housing and transportation every day and tidy up his modest two-bedroom apartment.

I don't know how many times the quality of life of men has improved. When they go home and open the cupboard door, there are hot meals and clean clothes. Unlike before, the food in the refrigerator has gone bad and expired, and it is still piled there.

Ms. He doesn't want to be a free nanny here either, but fortunately, they have the same hobbies and can talk together. Men also deliberately cater to Ms. He's mind. It is also worthwhile for Ms. He to work harder and pay more to get a partner who supports each other in her later years.

The unexpected turning point happened this year. Ms. He accidentally fell down the stairs, causing a femoral fracture. Originally, Ms. He didn't expect men to take care of themselves completely, but it's okay to think about sending a meal or something.

I never thought that the man only went to the hospital to see Ms. He once and then refused to show up again. Ms. He's daughter wants to take time off to take care of her mother and call to ask her if she has any difficulties. As a result, the man's reply was: I am too old to take care of people, and I am about to get sick. Isn't it a burden for everyone?

From then on, the man didn't go to the hospital or pay money. Finally, Ms. He's daughter came forward to take care of her mother and hired a nanny to spend this difficult time.

After Ms. He generally recovered, she asked her daughter to accompany her to find the man to pack things. Only to find that there is another woman of her own age in the man's family. I don't know whether he hired an hourly worker or found a free nanny.

Ms. He doesn't want to ask or think. She just wants to leave this sad place as soon as possible. She thought: it is difficult for the elderly to remarry, and only they have to pay for their own happiness.

04

In life, the thinking of men and women is very different, and they may never be on the same channel. In marriage, men and women want different things, so you must try to see the person in front of you clearly.

Is it men or women who suffer when middle-aged and elderly people remarry?

In fact, the other half you are looking for in your life is not a passerby. Reasonable pay is necessary, and sometimes it is also a kind of enjoyment. Some people don't want to pay, but want to gain more, so they calculate everywhere and eventually lose themselves.

If two people can get along well in marriage and settle down to live, it doesn't matter which one takes care of the other more. However, if you encounter difficulties and turn around and run away, you don't deserve to enjoy each other's care without giving them a solid life and a head-on life.

When you remarry in your later years, you should think more about each other. If you need the other person to take care of you more, you should give them equal rights. If the other person takes a look, he can see his bleak evening scene, and no one will want to spend the rest of his life with you.