Recently, a girl named Gu Ailing went on a hot search.
Gu Ailing is regarded as a beautiful girl and a skiing genius. She is a mixed-race Chinese-American. She speaks fluent Chinese and has won more than 50 skiing gold medals, including 9 national championships.
After officially becoming a citizen of China in June, 20 19, it took only eight months to win eight medals for China. Next, it will represent China in the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics.
She has also achieved excellent results since she was a child. In order not to affect the professional skiing training, she compressed the three-year high school course into two years of self-study.
In the SAT test with a perfect score of 65,438+0,600, I got an excellent score of 65,438+0,580 and was successfully admitted to Stanford University.
And when 17 years old, facing the camera, she once said with certainty:
In order to change "men are more likely to engage in sports-related occupations than women, because men's muscles are naturally bigger and stronger than women's" and "women are often deprived of suitable sports opportunities because of their gender ...", Gu Ailing has always adhered to a belief in her heart:
A confident and energetic child like Gu Ailing really makes many parents sigh: a confident and excellent child is really the first secret of success, and his whole body is shining.
Self-confident people tend to have higher self-efficacy and stronger motivation; Confident people are curious and courageous; Confident people are more inclined to persevere and overcome setbacks. And these are all necessary qualities for success.
In fact, children's self-confidence is often inseparable from the education of parents and families.
Educator Spencer said: "Family environment plays an extremely important role in cultivating a child's mind and talent."
In order to cultivate excellent, confident and energetic children, parents must remember the following three points.
0 1
Respect children's wishes and allow them more possibilities.
Gu Ailing grew up in a good family. Her father is an American who graduated from Harvard and her mother is a Beijinger from China who graduated from Stanford University. She is also a part-time ski instructor.
Gu Ailing stepped on a snowboard when she was 3 years old. But her mother never forced Gu Ailing to go skiing training deliberately.
She likes playing the piano, so her mother sent her to learn. She likes ballet, so her mother sent her to learn ballet.
In her early years, accompanied by her parents, she tried various sports forms, including cross-country running, football, basketball, archery, horseback riding, rock climbing … and skiing.
When Gu Ailing was 7 years old, her amateur skiing level was already very good.
There are two roads in front of her: the first road is a popular project for girls; Another way is freestyle skiing, but mainly for boys.
Mother Gu Yan doesn't want her daughter to embark on the road of professional skiing, because she knows skiing is a high-risk sport, but she is not in a hurry to make a decision for her daughter, but takes her to see it and accompany her to think.
One day, Gu Ailing got on the cable car of the ski resort with her mother. At high altitude, she saw the wonderful scene of free skiers flying and spinning in the air, and the whole person was strongly shocked and impacted. At that moment, she has chosen her future path.
Eight-year-old Gu Ailing officially joined the American North-South Alliance Ski Team and became the only girl in the team. Since the age of 9, she has won the American junior skiing championship in succession, and since then, various honors have followed.
Finding your own direction in life at an early age is inseparable from the silent support and encouragement of your parents.
Dr. Chae Min Lim said:
Every child has his own bright spot. Parents should help their children find their own advantages together, and continue to develop them, so that children can know that they also have abilities that others are not good at.
In daily life, in the name of "being good for children", we should reduce the deprivation of children's sense of control.
The more trivial things in life, the more you have to let go. It is these little things that give children enough opportunities to learn and contact the world.
Then, children will clearly see what is really important to them, and then they can choose their own way to enter this world.
02
Cleverly praise the child.
Good praise can not only shape a child's excellent personality, but also determine the child's thinking mode of "doing things" and even determine the height of his thinking throughout his life.
Praise children's "cleverness", and children will habitually blame failure on their own lack of talent and innate stupidity, while praise children's "efforts", and they will pay more attention to the process of enjoyment.
The mother in Singapore's warm-hearted education short story "Children's efforts are more important than academic performance" is a good mother who knows how to encourage children.
At the dinner table, my brother got excellent grades in all subjects, and he felt that his parents would praise him, so he was very proud.
My brother only got 60 points in math, and he was a little depressed and didn't dare to look up.
My mother was a little disappointed to see my brother's score on the test paper, but she remembered that even though he was sleepy every night, he still insisted on studying hard to do the problem.
So my mother changed her serious expression and put a quail egg in her brother's and brother's bowl with a smile.
Tell my brother, "Good job", tell my brother, "You too."
This action not only affirmed my brother's cleverness and Excellence, but also encouraged him. Although he is not as clever as his brother, his efforts are worthy of recognition.
My brother also changed from a depressed expression at the beginning to a recognized and confident smile.
Parents should be good at discovering children's bright spots and show more care and encouragement, perhaps a simple hug or a patient guidance.
If parents want their children to be confident, don't be stingy to create some opportunities for their children to show their talents and advantages to outsiders and sincerely express our feelings and appreciation for them.
For example, children can sincerely say "thank you, hardworking baby" when cleaning the room;
If the child gets high marks in the exam, he can sincerely give a thumbs-up and say, "You are really good and have worked hard recently";
The child drew a beautiful picture. It can be said, "This color looks really comfortable, so you are very attentive." ...
Seeing the child's contribution, cultivating the child's growth thinking mode and sincerely praising the child will make the child more cheerful and confident, and will also be more grateful to his parents who trust him.
Slowly, you will find that children have been on the road to becoming better and more confident.
03
Don't compare with "other people's children"
I have seen a video of a little girl refuting her father in Tik Tok before.
It turned out that when the little girl was doing her homework, her father asked her why she didn't study hard. "Do you have a pen or notebook?"
Who knows, the little girl cried and sent out her soul to answer: "I don't have a good father."
Dad didn't expect his daughter to care so much about him, so he said helplessly, "Let your mother teach you, I'm too lazy to tell you."
Later, my daughter sat on the bed and cried, constantly wiping her tears with her sleeves and accusing her father:
Long-term "being compared" arouses children's psychological hints of "I can't" and "I don't deserve to be liked", instead of going forward bravely.
Children's self-confidence will also slip away with the "comparison" day after day.
Psychologist Dr. Susan Forward wrote in the book Poisoned Parents:
If you really want to compare, please compare with the children themselves. Today you are much better than yesterday. This comparison is meaningful.
In the TV series Little Joy, Jennifer Dong compared his son's achievements with those of his competitors and found that there was a huge gap.
On the other hand, Fiona Fang told his daughter-in-law: "If you compare your son's score with last time, you will see progress and hard work."
Abandoning meaningless comparison, we will find that every child is unique and every child has his unique advantages.
Wu Bing, the eldest daughter of the writer Bing Xin, got very good grades since she was a child, and was among the best in every exam. However, the younger daughter did not get very good grades in dancing, and her personality was like a boy, so she was very naughty.
But Bing Xin never makes a comparison, but treats her two daughters equally. Finally, they all stood out: Wu Bing, the eldest daughter, made great academic achievements, and her youngest daughter became a deputy to the National People's Congress.
If we can all see the advantages of children instead of always comparing them with "other people's children", in fact, every child will be a potential stock.
04
Deepak Chopra, a famous American spiritual teacher, said: "What we are today is not what we were when we were born, but what we are like when we are squeezed into a wrong container by adults."
It can be seen how powerful the influence of family education on children's growth is.
Bloom Sometimes, please respect the child's original appearance, learn to let go of judgment and see the value and meaning of every life.
Every child has an imperfect side, so parents should try to accept it and learn more about their children's good places and progress.
Respect children's wishes and accept more possibilities in life;
Cleverly praise children and let them make progress under the growing thinking mode;
Don't compare with others, just compare with the children themselves, and slowly gain more and more confident children.
Love and encouragement from family will always be the driving force for children's growth. Children who grow up in such a family will be richer, more confident and more powerful.
Finally, give the lines from the movie Stars on Earth to every child: