When suffering comes, different people have different attitudes towards suffering. Some people cringe and escape, afraid to face it; Some people are calm and calm; Some people cry bitterly and complain bitterly; Some people are dismissive and laugh it off. ...
The question is: Does the happiness we feel necessarily mean happiness? Is the suffering we feel necessarily suffering?
Han Shan and Shi De, two Zen masters in the Tang Dynasty, had such a wonderful dialogue-
Hanshan asked Pickup, "What should I do if someone slanders me, insults me, belittles me, laughs at me, deceives me and belittles me?"
Pickup replied: "You should tolerate him, accommodate him, avoid him, be patient with him, make him respect him and ignore him." In a few years, you will see him. "
Hanshan asked what we often encounter in our daily life, such as being insulted, ridiculed, despised and slandered for no reason. What should we do at this time?
Picking up the first few answers is nothing more than asking people to learn patience, humility, staying at a respectful distance from others and not caring about others. It's like the lame Taoist in a dream of red mansions who said after singing "Good Songs": "Good is good, and good is good. If not, it is not good; To be excellent, you must be excellent. " This is all normal, and there is no beauty. The beauty lies in the last sentence: "In a few years, you will see him."
"In a few years" is not "it is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge for ten years", but after a few years, you can re-examine what happened that year-how will you feel?
Something happened. No matter how you feel at that time, don't jump to conclusions about good or bad, good or bad, good or bad. Looking back a few years later, there may be a feeling that "the Great Wall of Wan Li is still here today, but Qin Shihuang is not".
At that time, you may have suffered a deep emotional blow. You think that's a person worth loving with your life. However, he betrayed you. You feel cheated in your feelings and humiliated in your personality. You don't think you can stand such a painful blow anyway. You even think that life is meaningless from now on, and you will never see the future and have no hope for life. However, a few years later, you are holding your lover's hand and walking intoxicated on the road of happiness. Maybe the world is too small. You happened to meet the man who made you want to die. You are deeply surprised. What surprised you was not why you met him here, but why you didn't have a ripple in your heart when you met him.
Didn't you want to die for him?
Why does he look like a passerby at the moment? Not even hate, not even indifferent.
In a few years, look at him-you will find that it is just a children's game of playing house, but they were too involved at that time.
At that time, you may have suffered a great setback in your studies. You have been taught since childhood that "going to college is the only hope", and you regard the dream of college as your own life dream, and it is the only dream. You put your whole life on the exam, you gave up the happiness of childhood, the frivolity and freedom of youth, and for the ultimate dream of life, you gave up the first and possibly the only happiness of life. But after more than 30 years' hard study and three years' repeated study, your ideal university dream has not come true after all, and your ultimate dream has not come true after all, so you are very sad and desperate, so you have no dream in life and don't know how to continue living. Because "going to college is the only hope", not going to college means that there is no hope in life, so you feel that your life is ruined. However, a few years later, you have a company that can support hundreds of people. Looking around the employees, you find that the lowest education is also a college diploma, and you used to be just a decadent high school graduate. You can't help thinking: If your dream has come true like them, are you working for a boss who only has a high school diploma or even a primary school diploma?
Only by going to the deepest valley in life can we see the most beautiful scenery in the world.
In a few years, look at him-you will find that the dream of that year was really just a dream, a dream that even you would have no heart after waking up.
At that time, you may have encountered the most unexpected deception in business. You do business with your best and most trustworthy friends. At first, you were in full swing and your career was booming. However, just as you are about to raise a glass to celebrate your friend's friendship and career success, you suddenly encounter the betrayal of friendship and the fiasco of your career-your friend, even a better friend than your own brother, conspires with others to frame you. In a blink of an eye, you are not only bankrupt, but also penniless. Since then, you have been devastated, attempted suicide twice, and your life has fallen into a trough. However, a few years later, you took your wife and children on a leisurely vacation at the seaside, enjoying the most beautiful scenery and savoring the most beautiful life in the world. You have grown into a spiritual mentor who leads the world out of life's predicament. You stand on the stage and say to everyone: Only when you reach the deepest part of your life can you see the most beautiful scenery in the world.
In a few years, look at him-you will find that your health may have suffered a catastrophe. Everyone who knows you once envied your healthy body, your stomach bag and all the rules of life, which is excusable.
You used to be proud of it, and suddenly one day you became the object of pity, sympathy and even warning from everyone around you. You have an incurable disease that makes the doctor helpless. The doctor asks you to make final preparations for your life-at the best of times.
You are shocked, you are angry, you feel unprecedented fear, you seem to feel the call of death and once lost the confidence to live.
However, a few years later, you not only miraculously survived through the valley, but also became a health expert who spread the concept of health and created a miracle of life. With your experience of peaceful coexistence with a terminal illness, you call on everyone to learn to surrender to life, learn to praise life, and learn to be grateful to the body.
No matter how many things you know, no matter how many fields you can manage, if you don't know your life and can't manage yourself and your life well, your life must be flawed!
—— Teacher Bigu Health Liang
In a few years, look at him-you will find that the biggest misfortune you suffered physically in those years was actually the luckiest thing that happened in your life. It makes you lucky to see the truth of life, realize the true meaning of life, and get rid of the muddled life forever.
Is temporary pain real pain? Is temporary happiness real happiness? If we look at the pain and happiness at a certain moment from the perspective of a person's life as a whole, it may really be like what Liu An said in the Western Han Dynasty: "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise? Does Theon Of Smyrna Derman know that this is a disaster? "
Zhuangzi told such a story in The Theory of Everything: In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a beautiful woman named Li Ji in the small country of Li Rong. At that time, in order to get Li Rong, the monarch of the State of Jin sent troops to attack her and successfully smuggled Li Ji into the State of Jin. When Li Ji first arrived in the State of Jin, he cried like a crybaby. But when she was accepted as a concubine by the monarch of the State of Jin, lived in the palace, wore silks and satins, ate delicacies and enjoyed the first-class life in the world, she regretted not crying so sadly.
After the story was finished, Zhuangzi immediately said, "Don't regret it until you die, isn't it?" Zhuangzi said, "How do I know if I will regret my greed for life after I die?" In Zhuangzi's eyes, death is not the most terrible thing in the world. Zhuangzi thinks that "death" only represents a wonderful state. If a person can experience this wonderful state, then all kinds of pain and suffering in the world will be like a child's play.
Zhuangzi's view of life and death is naturally beyond our ordinary people's understanding. When we ordinary people face the unbearable hardships in life, it seems that everyone has a deep desire in their hearts-a desire to start life again. However, if we don't change our inner attitude towards suffering, and if we can't let it go all the time, then even if life is repeated a hundred times, it will only be a hundred different kinds of suffering.
Our inner attitude towards suffering determines the happiness of our life. When suffering comes, as long as you open your heart, you will naturally have a happy life.
South African President nelson mandela was imprisoned for 27 years for opposing apartheid, and later became the first black president of South Africa because of his great contribution. When he took office, he specially invited three guards who had abused him to be present. He said, "When I walked out of my cell and walked through the prison door leading to freedom, I knew that if I couldn't leave my sadness and resentment behind, I would still be in prison." Then he stood up and respectfully saluted the three guards. Everyone present at that time and even the whole world were quiet-what a great mind! !
Mandela's broad mind may be beyond our reach, but we might as well ask: Is there really anything in life that we can't let go of? If there is-in a few years, look at him!
Life is like this: the pain of the past may become a happy memory of the future, and the failure of the past may also be a ladder to success in the future. To this end, we can only sincerely admire the great life with a humble heart: "Life is never accidental, and everything is the best arrangement."
—— Teacher Bigu Health Liang