What kind of harm did this post-90 s mother experience before she chose to leave this world with her two children and the "husband who loves her very much"?
Kung fu mother-in-law stills
News review:
On April 28th, the post-90s mother Shi left a suicide note and left home with two young children. Nearly 60 hours after losing contact, the bodies of mother and son were found in the water.
A 28-year-old mother and a 6-year-old and 3-year-old child are all beautiful ages. In the exposed suicide note, we found the answer-the long-standing contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!
She wrote in her suicide note:
"Everything thanks to my in-laws. 」
"I have been married to this family for seven years, and they have never given me a good face. 」
"In the eyes of your parents, my children and I are redundant outsiders. 」
Since Shi married into this family, she has been coldly and even punched by her in-laws.
And constantly walking rumors, portraying her as a vicious daughter-in-law, causing her to lose trust and understanding in front of her parents.
Embattled, she was finally crushed by despair.
Many netizens said that they saw their own shadow in her, and cases of contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be seen everywhere in life.
In this world, there are too many women who have survived the death of production, but they can't escape the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
What should we do in the face of the sensitive and fragile mother-in-law relationship?
Double-sided adhesive still
1 A man should be the mediator of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Although Shi has always stressed in his suicide note that her husband loves himself very much. But there is still some resentment between the lines.
If the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the chief culprit of this tragedy, then this inactive husband is an accomplice.
When she was destroyed by her in-laws, her husband did not come forward to clarify for her, but acted as a peacemaker in the middle under the banner of family and everything. On the surface, it seems to be resolving contradictions, but in fact it is cowardly men who want to make peace.
To put it bluntly, in this war, she has always been alone against the fire attack of her in-laws.
This is a woman's greatest sorrow. She is obviously married, but she is still alone. Many times, what really makes a woman give up is not her mother-in-law's difficulties, but her husband's attitude.
How do men with high emotional intelligence cope with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
Sister Yan watched a Japanese variety show "Human Observation", and one of them gave a good demonstration.
This program is about a couple from Kyoto.
Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law usually get along very well and occasionally go out to travel together. But even so, there is a big contradiction hidden-the daughter-in-law can't cook, and the mother-in-law is always in charge.
One day, the husband and wife went back to their hometown for dinner and watched their mother-in-law busy in the kitchen. The daughter-in-law hurried to help, but the mother-in-law took the opportunity to complain: "Take care of me occasionally, but usually don't help me."
At this time, the man sitting on the side pretended not to hear and continued to play with his mobile phone.
As a result, the next second, the daughter-in-law went to wash the dishes and broke them.
Mother-in-law couldn't bear it, and kept driving her wife away.
Daughter-in-law wronged:
"I want to help you."
My mother-in-law adamant4:
"You always say you help me, but I didn't do it in the end. What have you done for me? "
This time has been silent husband finally sit still:
"Mom, your tone of voice is too bad. People just want to help you. Anyone who is said this will feel uncomfortable. "
The mother was even more angry when she saw her son defending her daughter-in-law so much. After the daughter-in-law left, her mother-in-law began to complain:
"You will still stand on the side of your daughter-in-law."
I thought my husband would comfort my mother while his daughter-in-law was away, but he didn't hesitate to say:
"Of course, it is my own choice after all."
Sister Yan praised him silently at that time.
He knows that the relationship between husband and wife is above all relationships, including the parent-child relationship with children and parents. Only this healthy family order can make all triangular relationships stable. When a wife faces inappropriate accusations, she will always be the first without violating the principle.
Then, the mother-in-law made a thick egg tart, and the daughter-in-law thought it was too sweet, so she went to the kitchen to make a thick soup egg tart.
Mother-in-law felt disrespected, so she deliberately said:
"Did you do delicious? My son doesn't like to eat. "
I didn't expect another war.
At that time, the husband once again unexpectedly stood on the side of her mother-in-law:
"It seems to be just egg pieces, or delicious food made by my mother, which may range from snacks to big ones. Delicious is delicious, not delicious is not delicious, I will not say delicious against my will. "
Daughter-in-law said angrily:
"Why do you always help your mother? Who do you support, both of us? "
The husband told his daughter-in-law helplessly and surely:
"I support you two, you are the most important family. I won't support only one of you, nor can I put you on different levels. However, you can regard me as an enemy. "
A word from her husband perfectly resolved the gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Instead of being good people on both sides and letting mother-in-law and daughter-in-law complain about each other, it is better to be bad people and scatter the fire between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the people that Sister Yan appreciates. There is such a man in the family, even if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not happy, at least they will maintain superficial harmony.
Tips:
(1) The family order must be: the relationship between husband and wife is greater than that between parents and children (you and children, parents and you).
(2) Don't be blind and filial to parents' inappropriate remarks.
(3) Leave the opportunity to be a good person to your mother and daughter-in-law, and leave the opportunity to be a bad person to yourself.
Kung fu mother-in-law stills
Mother-in-law, please abdicate appropriately, and don't always want to be the head of the family.
A common problem in China families is that parents always like to make decisions for their children.
No matter what happens, as long as there is an argument with your parents, there will be a result in the end: I am your mother, and you have to listen to me.
Terribly, this idea continued until after the child got married.
When her son set up a new family, the mother also tried to reach out to her son and daughter-in-law's small family.
Kung fu mother-in-law stills
Sister Yan has a friend who has always been very close to her mother-in-law.
She has been married to her husband for four years and has never had children. Originally, this was discussed by two people, but it was different when I arrived at my mother-in-law.
Two years ago, in the face of her mother-in-law's complaints, she could still find reasons to prevaricate. But the longer the time, the deeper the resentment of her mother-in-law. This year, she moved from her hometown to Beijing and became a supervisor.
Originally, it was just to urge two people to have children, but after cohabitation, various contradictions broke out instantly.
Stills of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Warring States
She has a good figure and wears cool clothes in summer. Mother-in-law said that she was restless and put away all her slightly exposed clothes.
During the small holiday, she and her husband are going to travel. As a result, when they booked a plane ticket the next day, her mother-in-law refused to let them go anyway, saying that she didn't know how to save money after losing her family.
Just some time ago, my mother-in-law didn't know where she got the folk prescription, saying it could promote pregnancy, so she secretly changed it to the milk she drank every day. She couldn't stand it, so she questioned her mother-in-law. Unexpectedly, the rhetoric she got was: "What I give you to drink will not harm you."
She was angry and helpless:
"Anyway, it is my home. Even if I don't have the right to speak, I still live under the persuasion and supervision of others every day."
Kung fu mother-in-law stills
This is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by unclear boundaries. To put it bluntly, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a territorial relationship.
Listen to who? It is the root of many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Here, the mother-in-law needs to understand: in your family, you have the final say. But the children are married, and you are just a guest in their small home.
This sentence is not very nice, but what Yan Jie wants to say is that only when the territorial relationship is clear can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be smooth.
I know that my mother-in-law is used to "bullying" in her son's small home because of her love. I feel that children are not mature enough, and it will be a little difficult to maintain a small family. But you know, one day you have to let go. Instead of letting children be caught off guard, it is better to let them have the ability to operate from the beginning.
It is much more pleasant to give advice as a guest than to give orders as a host.
Tips:
(1) Respect the ideas of young people, and they will respect you.
(2) abdicate appropriately and let them take the initiative to seek help, instead of intervening indefinitely.
Stills of "Weekend Parents"
It is not difficult to be a lovely wife.
Two days ago, Christy Chung's mother-in-law made a hot search.
In a variety show, her mother-in-law commented on Christy Chung like this:
"There is nothing wrong with my daughter-in-law, but she is a few years older than him. It would be perfect if she were a few years younger. "
Although there is some disgust between the lines of her mother-in-law, it is not difficult to see that her mother-in-law is quite satisfied with her.
As we all know, 49-year-old Christy Chung is 12 years older than Zhang Lun. Three marriages and three children are unacceptable to many parents. But she gets along very comfortably with her mother-in-law in her own way.
In the program, as soon as her mother-in-law came home, Christy Chung immediately took what was in her hand and asked questions, which was very thoughtful. Then she praised her mother-in-law for losing weight. This wave of sweet words made her mother-in-law instantly elated.
Not only can you talk, but something will happen. My mother-in-law said that she wanted to have double eyelids two years ago, but she never did. Hearing this, Christy Chung immediately called the makeup artist and gave her mother-in-law a try. Although my mother-in-law said no, it was hard to hide her joy after seeing the effect.
There is a host's disruptive link in the middle. Zhang Lunshuo was asked an eternal question: When my mother-in-law and mother fell into the water, who should they save first?
Zhang Lunshuo replied that Christy Chung could swim and she could save her mother-in-law.
At this moment, Christy Chung immediately said that he was thinking the same thing, and praised her husband for knowing what he was thinking, which was really great.
Making good use of praise, meeting the needs of her mother-in-law and giving her enough face are the secrets of Christy Chung's mother-in-law. Coupled with her independence, she is particularly confident in this sister-in-law relationship.
A long time ago, Christy Chung was a well-deserved "goddess" in everyone's mind.
In Hong Kong, 1993 entered the entertainment industry by running for Miss International Chinese. 1994, 1994, with the legend of mermaid, it quickly became popular in Southeast Asia. 200 1 starring in the Thai film "The Dead Mother" was named the sexiest woman in Asia in 2000 by the well-known men's magazine FHM.
Although the marriage was not smooth, she was always beautiful and rich, maintaining economic and personality independence. Don't cling to marriage and men, and don't feel sorry for yourself and lose your pursuit because of your age and three marriages.
When her mother-in-law made a speech at the scene of marriage proposal, she also described Christy Chung with four words: kindness, independence, filial piety and integrity.
No wonder netizens said that if she were a few years younger, she would definitely despise Zhang Lunshuo after hearing that her mother-in-law disliked her being old.
You see, getting rid of my mother-in-law needs a little means. Not only is the superficial effort in place, but more importantly, you should have the confidence to compete with your mother-in-law
Some people say that the chances of meeting a good mother-in-law are like winning the lottery. What Sister Yan wants to tell you here is that your mother-in-law is not a mother. Don't ask your mother-in-law for her kindness. You are two unrelated individuals. It is a harmonious situation to be able to greet each other with a smile and not abandon each other.
Tips:
(1) The scene needs to talk, and the mother-in-law needs to be coaxed.
(2) lower expectations, the mother-in-law is not a mother.
(3) Maintain independence to avoid being manipulated by others.
There is a classic line in the TV series Our Marriage:
The so-called mother-in-law relationship is originally a by-product of marriage. How can two mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who have only interests but no direct relationship live in peace for a long time in a family and still have a harmonious relationship?
Sister Yan tells you that nothing is impossible! Men can handle things, mother-in-law learns to let go, daughter-in-law is sensible and independent, everyone does not cross the line, does not insist, does their job, and everything is much simpler.
I'll change your house!
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Since the launch of the "10-square-meter office", Sister Yan has often received news from Yan You from all over the country, hoping that we can change rooms in the past. However, due to geographical restrictions, our manpower and energy really can't go to the city where everyone is located to help everyone, so we spent several months with our friends to develop this small program, so that no matter where you are, we can help you and let more rock friends have their own lives within a limited budget.
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