seating arrangement
The dining table is square or rectangular, and the only one with a round table in western countries is the mythical King Arthur. King Arthur is a legendary king of England, and his position in western European mythology is like that of the emperor of China. Although according to myth, King Arthur is the king of England, most stories about him are contained in France and French literature. King Arthur has a round table, so none of his officials feel inferior to others: they are all of the same rank. In fact, this collection of fairy tales is called "The Story of the Round Table".
Thanksgiving prayer
Attention! It's not time for dinner yet. At a formal dinner, sometimes at a family dinner, we should give thanks and pray before cooking, and thank God for giving us food. This prayer can be done in any language, and Latin is commonly used. On this occasion, if other guests stand up, they should stand up, otherwise they don't have to stand up and still sit in their original positions. If you don't believe in religion, bow your head and put your hands together. Thanksgiving prayers are not long.
Tableware (knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups)
At a formal dinner, there are many tableware. It is reported that one third of human beings use chopsticks, one third use knives, forks and spoons, and one third eat with their hands.
In France, you usually use a knife after eating a dish. They clean the knife and put it on the knife rest, just like China put chopsticks on the chopsticks rack. In Britain and America, knives are not placed on the rest. But there is another habit of using a knife in America. Is to cut the dish in the dish, then put the knife on the left side of the dish and turn the fork to the right hand. This practice is rare now, but if you eat with an American family or an elderly American, you may see this way of using a knife and fork.
The small plate on the left is for bread, and sometimes the plate for salad and fruit is also in that position. The knife related to a dish is either placed in front of the main Caicai plate or on the last side, and the spoon and fork placed in the middle are used for dessert or used from outside to inside.
If there is food on the table that you don't like, you can refuse to eat it. It is considered polite to finish all the food on the plate; You won't add some food unless you ask. At a formal banquet, no food is added. In this respect, we should pay great attention to the etiquette gap between China and the West: in China, the host naturally thinks that the guest's plate should be full of dishes, but it is not the case in the West.
Food is always served from the left by the waiter. After each dish is used up, the empty plate is taken away from the left.
The order of dishes and wine
It is important to remember the order of food and wine, because if it is an informal buffet, you should eat in the same order. Contrary to what some people think, at a banquet, the order of dishes is as strict as that of a China banquet, but the principles are different. At a banquet that is not very grand, the number of dishes tends to decrease, but the order of serving is always the same, even if many dishes are subtracted. However, in recent years, the number of dishes at large banquets has increased. The order of the above dishes is:
(cold or hot appetizer)
Soup Sydney wine
Dried fish wine
Fruit juice, ice cream and red wine
meat and vegetables
Salad, sweet white wine or champagne
Sweet pudding red wine (produced in Portugal) or liqueur.
mint
cheese
fruit
Coffee (another cigarette or cigar) brandy or liqueur
In France, cheese is eaten before pudding, which is also common in other countries. And the order of the dishes is the same in all countries. Dry white wine and sweet wine or champagne are drunk after cooling. Red wine depends on the kind of meat eaten. Strong red wine with thick meat, eat light meat and serve light red wine. Red wine should be drunk at room temperature and opened in advance. The younger the wine, the sooner it should be opened.
Strong red wine can be strung together. Portuguese red wine, liqueur and Sydney wine are always strung together. The general principle is that the fragrance of wine and the delicacy of food complement each other.
In America, there is always cold water to drink, but not necessarily in Europe.
It should also be noted that in northern Europe, female guests should not drink before the hostess drinks.
smoke
Never smoke before a formal toast, only after a toast to the country. The habit of never smoking at the dinner table is very common now. Drink coffee, brandy and liqueur in the other room. In a few cases, ladies will leave the restaurant and go to another room first. In this case, men smoke at the dinner table. This is an ancient practice, but it has recently made a comeback.
take a drop
Toast is another error-prone thing. In western countries, informal toasting while eating, as people see in China and other Asian countries, is a common custom until 150. This custom no longer exists. Now, it is ok to raise your glass and have a drink without talking to the guests you know. If a man does this to a lady, he should pay attention because this gesture has a clear meaning. If the lady doesn't agree to this move, it will greatly offend her.
Before toasting, put the red wine in the arms of a pile of wine on the table. Different from other wines, red wine is not served by waiters, but by visitors, and the order is always from right to left. The specific way is to fill my glass and then spread the string of glasses to the left.
Never drink red wine before toasting the country. It is unwise to drink all the wine in the glass, because there may be another toast, or even several toasts. There will be a speech before each toast. The speech may be very long, 30 minutes at most, or very short, with only two words. Some people have to stand up when toasting, while others can sit all the time.
At some grand banquets, the "flowing cups" are passed in turn. This is an ancient drinking etiquette. This kind of wine glass is so big that every guest drinks with it. This etiquette has been established in modern form for more than 1000 years. If you do it correctly on this occasion, you will win glory for yourself. When your neighbor is holding a cup, he turns to you and wants to bow to you. You bow your back, take off the lid with your right hand, hold the glass high, and the drinker will drink it off with both hands, and then wipe the mouth of the glass with a napkin tied to the bottom of the glass. At this point, you put the lid on the cup, and then hand the cup to your hand. This etiquette will be repeated. When you hand out the cup, you must stand until your neighbor finishes drinking, and then sit down. It can be seen that this etiquette originated from the drinking ceremony in the wild times. People on both sides of the drinker should stand and keep the drinker away from the enemy. Hold the lid with your right hand, because the right hand is the hand that holds the sword.
It is wrong to leave before the guests leave. If it is necessary to leave the room first, you should explain it to the host first.
There are three other forms of social dinners, namely, eating in restaurants, eating in clubs and eating in other people's homes. The order of eating and drinking is the same, only simpler. Unless it is a formal banquet, the number of dishes is not more than four, at least two. Salad can't be used instead of the first course.
Dine in a restaurant
In the west, the first problem when eating in a restaurant is that everyone chooses his own food, so he should consider what kind of food he likes before starting to eat. Moreover, in the best restaurants, the menus are printed in French, which requires special knowledge to understand. Asking for advice before ordering is not a problem; There is nothing wrong with asking the waiter what he can recommend.
Another problem encountered in a western restaurant is how to treat the wine list. This wine list is handled in the same way as the menu in China restaurant, that is, the wine list is passed around, because no one wants to order wine for everyone. If you are lucky, it will be good for the person who ordered the wine to be good at it. Being good at wine is a beautiful thing, even better than being good at food. Some leaders of COSCO Group have set an example in this respect, and they are very familiar with foreign wine. There are many books about wine to study.
If you don't know how to drink correctly, you can't taste good wine well, and it's hard to be elegant. It is impolite to pay a lot of money for a famous wine without knowing its taste, so I expect others to be unhappy. China people are often criticized by westerners in this respect. Even if you drink with friends and the money has been paid, you still think you can go your own way. However, it is considered vulgar and contemptible to drink impolitely, which shocked other guests in the same restaurant and even complained.
Ordering wine is after ordering. This is because people who order wine can choose wine that matches the dishes selected by different guests at the table.
The wine waiter (who is or should be an expert in wine) takes the wine before opening it (showing the drinker that the label of the wine is correct) and then opens it. White wine is put in the wine cabinet, and red wine is put on the table and opened "away" before drinking. The drinker tastes the wine first, and then pours it into the guest's glass. The purpose is to make sure that the wine has not deteriorated during storage. If it goes bad, take it off and order another bottle.
If you order wine, but you don't know much about it, you can ask the waiter for advice. If the waiter can't help you, as a general principle, you can choose a bottle of dry white wine for the guests who order fish and red wine for the guests who order meat. Don't choose the lowest price or the highest price from the wine list, choose the third cheapest wine. Many people order the second cheapest wine, which is often not good wine, and restaurants are trying to sell it.
If you drink wine like beer or white wine, it's indecent. The pleasure of drinking comes partly from the fragrance of wine, partly from the sweetness of wine, partly from the appearance of wine, and only a small part from the alcohol contained therein. Imagine that you are tasting good fragrant tea. First, the smell of prosperity comes from the nose, and then the smell of prosperity comes from the mouth. If you gently hold the handle of the cup and sip it, the happiness will be negligible. If you are not interested in drinking, there is no harm in pretending to be happy. If you don't like wine, you don't need to drink more.
If you need to turn on your mobile phone during meals, you should apologize to the guests present. Of course, turning off the phone is the best policy.
Dine at the club
In the United States, Britain, Australia and other areas influenced by these countries, such as Hong Kong and Singapore, clubs are common places for dining and gathering.
This kind of real club can be divided into two categories, namely social club and fitness club. Social clubs have restaurants, one or two bars, a library, and sometimes bedrooms for members who come. The fitness club has facilities for special sports activities (as can be seen from the name of the club), but it also has restaurants and bars.
For example, in Hong Kong, Hong Kong Club and China Club are social clubs, while horse racing clubs, football clubs and golf clubs are fitness clubs. In new york, the fitness club in the city center is a fitness club. Its purpose is to provide a fitness center, but it is often used as a social club by people in the shipping industry in new york.
If you are invited to eat in your master's club, it is similar to eating in his home, because the club is a private gathering place and only its members and their guests can enter. The rules of the club must be observed. Most clubs stipulate that it is not allowed to bring in official documents and it is strictly forbidden to use mobile phones. Clubs usually have strict rules about clothes. For example, many clubs don't allow jeans.
Eating in a club is similar to eating in a restaurant, but eating in a club does not mention paying the bill, because only the owner pays the bill.
Dine at home
Eating in other people's homes is not so formal, unless the family is particularly rich. When you are invited to someone's house for dinner, it is appropriate to bring some bouquets to your host, but you should not bring white flowers (white flowers are used for funerals) and red flowers unless you are interested in expressing your romantic feelings to your hostess.
It should be noted that it is appropriate to hold a bunch of flowers for each other on many occasions, not limited to funerals. Bouquet shops abound.
It is also a common gift to carry a box of chocolates on this occasion.
Other drinking places
(Bars, cafes and public bars)
One difference in catering between western countries and China is that there is no catering place in China that provides alcohol but no food or only a small amount of food. In western countries, such places have long existed. This place is called a bar in North America. It is a popular bar in Britain, Australia and New Zealand, and a cafe in other parts of Europe and South America.
Such a place is not set up to make people drunk, but to provide a place for friends and relatives to get together and talk. The amount of alcohol consumed in these places varies, but it is usually not excessive.
This place has existed for a long time. In ancient Europe, it was unheard of to boil water to cure diseases and make tea in water to make it fragrant, until tea was introduced from China. The only way to make water safe to drink is to brew it into beer, so the convenience of selling beer is becoming more and more common.
After choosing a table in the coffee shop, a waiter comes over and asks what you want to drink. In a bar, you can sit at the table or at the counter and ask the bartender to bring the wine. In a public bar, you have to go to the counter to buy wine. If you sit at the table, no one will come. This is because people regard public bars as a place that stresses democracy, so they have to do it themselves (that is, no one serves them). If you come with friends or don't want to talk to others, you can bring wine to the table. In public bars, it is normal and harmless to participate in everyone's conversation or talk to the waiters and waitresses at the counter. In fact, it's a good way to make friends. The way to start a conversation is usually to buy a drink for the person standing next to you. If someone buys you a drink and you accept it, the correct way is to talk to that person at least until the drink is finished. If you sit at the table, the conversation is private. Popular bars have different grades from ordinary bars. If you want to go, you can consult the local people first and do things their way, that is, you might as well try several different bars, and finally choose one you like, so you can go there often in the future.
Another detail about the public bar is that a group of people often drink and chat together. The drinks they drink are bought by the same group of drinkers in turn, that is, everyone in the group takes turns to buy drinks for all the staff. If you drink with this group of people, but don't pay for the drinks, it's wrong. However, if someone buys wine for everyone to drink, but you don't want to drink any more, you can refuse.
All kinds of mixed spirits except wine. Beer and spirits in western countries are just like those in China. However, Americans may prefer cocktails, while people in Central and Southern Europe prefer absinthe. It is useful to know about these wines. It should be reminded that some American cocktails are actually much stronger than the taste.
Most countries and regions have their own local spirits and special drinking methods. Don't worry, no matter where you are, the locals will tell you.
Special attention should be paid to single fermented scotch whisky. This wine looks similar to ordinary whisky, but it is more expensive and tastes more elegant. This wine should not be mixed with other wines. You can sip it as it is or dilute it by 50%. Anyone who knows this single-brewed scotch whisky is his own honor.
Brandy is not often drunk in western countries. In fact, "XO Brandy" is a brand name created by the French to market this wine in China.
There is a set of rules when to drink what kind of wine. With one or two special exceptions, it is wrong to entertain guests with spirits in the morning. There used to be a rule not to drink brown wine (such as whisky or brandy with soda) at night, but it is no longer observed. It is unwise to mix wine made from grapes with wine made from grains, such as whiskey and brandy, because you will feel quite drunk the next day.
Cocktail parties and cold meals
In western countries and Hongkong, but excluding other places in China, the typical social gathering is cocktail party. This kind of reception has several advantages. The cost of hosting is lower and more people can be invited than a meal. When the guests arrive, they will drink from the big plate and then walk around the hall and talk to each other. This social way can make many people get together to chat. At cocktail parties, there are always non-alcoholic drinks, such as juice and snacks. The time is typically 18: 30, and sometimes it is even held during the day, otherwise the guests will eat elsewhere. The cocktail party will only last for an hour or two.
A cold dinner party is somewhat similar to this, except that the food (usually a cold meal) is placed on the table at one side of the room, and the guests can help themselves to the dishes and meals. If there are seats, the arrangement of seats is informal.
An unpleasant meal
The most unpleasant thing that China people can encounter when dining in a foreign country is to see a large piece of half-baked animals on the table in front of them, while the owner is killing them with a big knife. The second unpleasant sight is the sticky cheese with taste. If you think you can't stand this food, you can say that you don't eat meat or cheese.
Special festivals and traditional food
In western countries, Christmas and Spring Festival occupy the same position in China. The religious connotation of Christmas is not much now, and it is often ignored. But people with religious beliefs (about 10% of the national population in most western countries) attach great importance to Christmas. Like the Spring Festival, the Christmas holiday begins at noon the day before the festival. On the first day of Christmas, people get together with their families and enjoy traditional food, which varies from country to country. But they are all colorful and inexhaustible. The children have gifts to get. On the second day of the festival, people do sports and visit relatives and friends. Westerners always think that no one should be alone at Christmas. Therefore, if you are single, westerners will probably invite you to spend the holidays with your family.
Formal dress
For men, the problem of dress is more complicated than expected. You should wear a blue or gray suit in the office, and never wear a brown suit. Tweed clothes can only be worn in the country. Don't wear brown leather shoes with a blue or gray suit, which is very uncoordinated. Wearing a long-sleeved shirt with cufflinks is quite elegant. Wear a striped shirt with a polka dot or plain tie instead of a striped tie. Never put anything in the top pocket of a suit jacket. There is only one button on the suit jacket. White socks can only be worn during exercise, which is the most important thing, because people in China like to wear white socks. In the eyes of westerners, this way of dressing is quite absurd, so they may look askance or point at you.
sports
There is no need to talk about the sports that are popular in China, such as golf, tennis, bowling and football. Because this kind of ball game is also found in other places. You may meet some other ball games, such as baseball and American football in America, hockey and rugby in other places. Now briefly introduce them respectively.
Baseball: Baseball is very popular in America, Japan and Cuba, and the rules are very complicated. If you are invited to see it, the host will certainly explain. Baseball games last 2-3 hours each. Baseball is regarded as a civilized sport.
American football: This ball game is only played in America. It is a kind of football, with the ball in hand during the game.
Rugby: Britain, France, Italy, Romania, Argentina, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Pacific island countries are the main countries that develop rugby. The game lasted 90 minutes. Rugby is far more intense than football, but it is regarded as a noble sport and an easy-to-understand ball game.
Cricket: Hockey is a national sport in England, Caribbean island countries, India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, South Africa, southern African countries, Australia and New Zealand. Hockey is different from other ball games. It lasts at least a whole day, sometimes even five days. In these countries, people think that hockey is beneficial to improve people's behavior and morality, and of course it is also a kind of entertainment. This is the only ball game that enjoys these reputations. If you are interested in hockey, in any of the above places, your host will be impressed by you and think you are a real civilized person. Just like baseball, in the countries where hockey is prevalent, anyone will be willing to explain the rules of half-day hockey to you.
Sailing: It's very popular in many places, including Hong Kong and Singapore. If invited, please remember to wear shoes with white or light rubber insoles, like sports shoes, so as not to stain the deck of the ship. Most people get dizzy when they go to sea for the first time, but no one is worried about it.
wedding ceremony
Weddings can be divided into two categories, namely, religious ceremonies and folk ceremonies. Whether it is a religious ceremony or a folk ceremony, the actual wedding is followed by a wedding banquet, which is huge in scale. The cost of the wedding and banquet is borne by the bride's father (he may lose everything). If the bride is married for the first time, she will wear a white wedding dress. The dress of other people attending the wedding is indicated in the invitation letter sent by the bride's father. Folk weddings are the same as those seen in China, while religious weddings last a little longer, and people often sing in the ceremony.
In a wedding, the location of a guest depends on whether the guest is a friend of the bride or the groom: the friend of the groom sits on the right and the friend of the bride sits on the left. When you enter the wedding auditorium, someone may ask you if you are a friend of the bride or the groom (bride or groom? ), this is to ask whether you are a friend of the man or a friend of the woman, so as to tell you where to sit. It is considered unlucky for the bride and groom to meet before the wedding, so in order to avoid this situation, the groom's friends will invite him out for a drink the night before the wedding, which is usually called men's night. If you are the groom's boyfriend, you may be invited.
The United States has a tradition of holding weddings in gardens, but Europeans think it is a strange custom. Europeans always get married in churches or secular marriage institutions.
If you attend a wedding, it is right to give a wedding gift. Once upon a time, people displayed wedding gifts one by one, and the author himself saw wedding gifts displayed at a rural wedding. But people no longer think it necessary to do so. At present, brides are often asked what gifts they like before the wedding and give them in private. The wedding reception after the wedding is longer than the wedding, and it has always been called wedding breakfast, although it is not breakfast. This means that this is the first meal the newlyweds have together. The wedding breakfast is held together in a restaurant or restaurant, during which people always make speeches to congratulate them, and those who can't attend the wedding will read them out in public. It is common to hold a dance at a wedding. When the bride and groom put on their wedding dresses for their honeymoon, the wedding ended.
funeral
Like China, cremation is common in the west, and ashes are often spilled into the sea. Americans make a mountain out of a molehill and spend more money on funerals than other countries. Funerals in European countries are relatively simple. The specific form of funeral has different regulations according to the religious beliefs of the deceased. It must be right to send letters of condolence to the families of the deceased. If you are invited to the funeral, you should wear a dark suit, and men should wear a black tie (not BlackBowKnot, but ordinary black tie).
In recent years, it has become a common custom in European countries to attend only the funerals of family members. After the funeral, a religious memorial service was held and friends and colleagues were invited to attend. On this occasion, you should also wear dark clothes, while men wear black ties.
The above is not the whole content of social etiquette. Last but not least, there is one thing to pay attention to! Now, colleagues in China can sometimes see a habit of spitting-clearing your throat loudly and spitting everywhere. China authorities clearly stipulate that spitting is not allowed. All westerners think spitting is an extremely annoying bad habit. If you want to throw up, you should go to the bathroom. Don't spit in the ashtray or wastepaper basket.