It's been seven years since I graduated from college. It's said that couples have seven-year itch. I don't know how this number came from, what data support it, and what argument it has, but I suddenly feel that the number seven may not be very good. Maybe it's because there are too many emotions and things are too messy recently. It seems that a tight heart is suddenly tired and weak. I pretended to be a strong line of defense for many years, and I burst my bank inadvertently. ...
After graduation, I went to Beijing. For a poor student who didn't graduate from a prestigious school, a poor boy who didn't have lofty aspirations and originally expected to arrange work for his family, everything was so strange and helpless. Well, people always have to face the daily necessities and pay for the unrealistic. Here, I would like to thank Brother Xia Xun. At the beginning of drifting in the North, he selflessly accommodated my spare time with a 10 square meter cabin for more than a month. The friend who can help you when you are in trouble is always the most precious friend, which at least makes me feel a little warm in the confused heart of the imperial city.
It didn't take long to find my first job with a monthly salary of 3000 yuan. I'm from a small city, but I feel a lot, 3000 yuan. After all, the monthly living expenses of the university are only 500 yuan. However, this joy did not last long. After working for a month with a novel and struggling mentality, I found that the expenses of rent, meals and so on far exceeded the budget. During the internship period of more than 2,000 yuan, there were only more than 300 yuan left at the end of the month. Brother Xun was invited to dinner, bought a footbath for his parents, patted his empty pocket, and vowed to say to his mother on the phone: Mom, I am doing well, the outside world is wonderful, and there is still a lot of salary left. Please don't look!
When I first entered society, I was always full of enthusiasm. Whether for survival or hard work, my salary rose to 6000 yuan per month after half a year. I moved to a duplex in a power plant community with my classmates. The decoration is relatively old, and there are four rooms in the North Fifth Ring Road. Six college students who also drifted north left countless heartless joys here, but also left some fucking memories, including laughter and tears, longing for the future and helplessness to reality. It's a long story
As the days passed, youth hurried by, but never looked back. Different prospects mean different forks in the road. The salary and job transfer of 9000 yuan promised by the original company have never been realized. I chose the immature naked resignation. I have the breath of breaking my word and the fearlessness of a newborn calf, so I resolutely became a member of the unemployed.
Maybe a fool. A fool. Not long after the interview in Hangzhou, our newspaper devoted itself to the West Lake with a tourist attitude. It is the fourth year of graduation. Before 10,000 tax, I can buy myself some new clothes to catch up with the cruel youth, I can replace some electrical appliances and daily necessities for my family, I can have a cup of coffee once in a while and make a small fortune-only once a month. But when I came to Hangzhou alone with different climate and habits, I was at a loss and flustered when I first entered Beijing. Why?
Life is dull. After work, I occasionally take part in some social activities that I don't like. Occasionally, on a whim, I pack my bags and rush to the nearby ancient town forest. I like plain, that is, sitting by the lake watching the sunset, blowing the wind on the mountain, yelling at my favorite songs when no one is around, dragging my chubby belly to make a three-step layup on the court, talking to my mother on the phone in my spare time, unconsciously for more than an hour ... It's a nice day today, isn't it? Although I can't see my parents far away, I don't have a partner who has been waiting for many years.
Soon, I received a phone call from my classmate in Beijing. I got married, which is a great event. Bought a ticket and ran around congratulating him, and got drunk at night. When I dragged my tired body out of Hangzhou Station, I suddenly found that I was nearly thirty years old, my classmates and friends had settled down, and only I was still wasting my time. It's really hard!
On some levels, I am lazy, belonging to that kind of indifferent temperament, and I don't like to argue, but some northern people's congresses are masculine and more traditional. I have been lonely for so many years, but I dare not fight for love. How can I give people peace? So this expectation is seven years, and now it is thirty-two. The students have entertained themselves, but they are lonely. Finally, I saved enough down payment and set up a hut of more than 80 square meters in Hangzhou. I've been rushing around for renovation recently. The days are still so inhuman, day by day. . .
Memory is chaotic, always chaotic, just like a person's sad mood at night. I don't know what it is for so many years, and the sudden fear is very lost! Think of the good friends who used to brag and fart together, each working hard for the family and having little contact. I hope you are all well! And I am still a person, sometimes I think, is it just that my tomorrow is not getting better? The girl I once secretly loved is married. Who else can I secretly love now? Are you getting old? Although I have never loved, I have also lost the courage and opportunity to love and dare not love. Why? Just feel lonely and have a casual love? Just feel lonely, just find a company? Is this what I've been looking forward to for years? Is that the future that I have been struggling for for seven years? At a loss, I don't know how to live in this big city and how to meet the next years.
I am laughing in the circle of WeChat friends. I will often report good news to my parents, but I won't worry. I smile at people every day and pretend to be strong. I go to the gym to practice grinding my body every day. I am tired! Really tired! Please allow me to complain here, because no one here knows that I am me, and I can continue to be in reality, alone, pretending to be strong!