Yesterday afternoon, Mr. Chen took his son out to pick up his sister who was learning to dance, and then went shopping together. I am alone at home, quietly enjoying this short time alone, reading and writing, cooking while skipping rope, and cooking after exercise.

The food is ready. It's almost 6: 30. I'm going to eat them first and read some books when I have time. As it happens, they came back as soon as I made the soup. Mr. Chen walked into the kitchen and whispered to me, "Someone is angry."

"What's the matter?"

He didn't answer. I came out and saw my son playing with a police car happily. It suddenly dawned on me that it was Mr. Chen who took two children to Wal-Mart to go shopping, and only bought toys for his son, but not for his daughter. No wonder her daughter is unhappy.

So I said to Mr. Chen, "It's all your fault. It's not fair. If you want to buy it together, why not buy it for your brother or your sister? "

My sister's face was wronged, and finally she couldn't help but burst into tears. "Mom hugs me!" I put down the chopsticks and hugged her: "Don't cry, I'll buy it for you next time." There are a lot of snacks at home. You can eat whatever you want after dinner. "

After a while, she finally stopped crying and began to eat.

This incident once again caused me to think about how to raise two children.

I found out all the parenting books at home, and I read all the articles about how to raise two children, and summed up the following principles:

First, don't have a second child, let the boss sleep alone.

Nowadays, when many families have a second child, it is very unfair for the boss to let him sleep with his grandmother or grandmother, or sleep in a room alone. Because from the moment the second child arrived, the boss was like a lost monarch who was driven off the throne. His life experience has changed greatly, and he must share his parents' love with another child.

The boss will be anxious, painful, angry and afraid, and at this time he needs his mother's attention more.

I remember when my second brother was born, I also thought about letting my sister sleep in a room alone, or letting her sleep with my grandmother. But my sister refused, so I had to let my two children share a room with me. My sister sleeps in a small bed, and my brother and I sleep in a big bed. As long as my mother is with me, my sister will fall asleep soon. No matter how loudly my brother cries in the middle of the night, it won't affect her.

Second, pay more attention to the boss.

I'm not good at this. Because Mr. Chen and I don't work in the same place, I take care of the children with my mother-in-law from Monday to Friday, and her mother-in-law is in poor health. Especially last year, my sister just entered the first grade and didn't know much about literacy. Every time she does her homework, she needs my help to look at the questions. I need to take care of my younger brother who is over one year old, and help my sister with her homework, especially when my younger brother is crying and my younger sister is yelling. I easily get upset and criticize my sister's various faults, which makes the chicken fly and the dog jump.

After the second grade, it will be much better for my sister to finish her homework independently. Now I pay more attention to my sister, write to her, accompany her to the library to read books, and so on.

Third, children fight, and adults had better stay out of it.

Giving the big to the small is the traditional culture of our country. We have grown up in this culture for thousands of years.

I often hear such words at home: you are my sister, let your brother play with toys first; You are a sister, let your brother eat snacks first; You're a sister, so ...

But a few children will think: well, I am an elder sister, and I have to make way for my younger brother.

If children fight and quarrel, if we adults indiscriminately "criticize the big and protect the small", the result is often that the boss thinks that his parents are partial or disgusted with him and gradually becomes rebellious or unconfident.

This can refer to the treatment method given by Teacher Cyndi Luo:

Fourth, don't beat and scold one child in front of another.

In my family, my sister often makes us angry. When angry, I don't care about anything, and I often beat and scold her in front of my brother. After that, my brother always imitated us and beat and scolded my sister.

This is a very bad subtle education.

In the second child era, having one more child really added a lot. If you want to harvest, you must first work hard. How can I see a rainbow without experiencing wind and rain? As long as you persist in studying and strive to be a good parent, your child will naturally not be bad.