one
In the sixth grade, our family moved to another town. There, my uncle opened a cloth dyeing factory, and our family moved here to help take care of it. So my brothers and I transferred to Eiko's primary school, and I was placed in Eiko's class and became a deskmate with her.
Eiko is a beautiful girl with a plump figure and fashionable clothes. A long ponytail is always tied high behind the head. When she walks, her ponytail swings from side to side on her head, which is very youthful and energetic.
Eiko studies very well and is the study committee member of our class. In addition to holding homework, Eiko often copies questions for us on the blackboard under the guidance of the teacher. She is not tall. When she is copying questions at the height of the blackboard, she always stands on tiptoe, raises her head, stretches out her arms one by one, and writes carefully on one blackboard after another. Eiko's legs, neck and arms hurt every time she finishes copying the questions, but she never complains. After a short rest, she will continue to copy and do the questions in her notebook.
Eiko's personality is very cheerful. She always has a smile on her face when she plays jokes on us. I have never seen her lose her temper, nor have I seen her make some girls lose their temper. No matter who asks her questions in the class, she will take pains to explain them until the other person understands. Her good character and good temper are praised by the class teacher.
Even though all the teachers and classmates think that Eiko is a positive and optimistic person, as a deskmate, I will still capture some imperceptible loneliness in Eiko's expression at some moment. In the self-study class, when the students are studying hard, they occasionally look up and see Eiko looking out of the window with her chin in one hand, her eyes disconsolate and motionless. Or during the break, everyone else is busy talking and laughing. Eiko just sits in his seat like a stake and looks out of the window. Everyone thought that she was worried about the quiz, so she joked with her, "If you study so well, you will definitely do well in the exam. Don't be sentimental." These words brought Eiko back to reality from her world, and she woke up and gave everyone a shallow smile.
I have never understood what makes Eiko, who looks so perfect and excellent, depressed. I spent a year with her, but I didn't find anything hidden in her words. If she and I were not at the same table, if I hadn't captured those different moments, I would always think that Eiko had a happy, perfect and rich home.
The confusion in my heart was finally solved one day in the summer vacation of the year when I graduated from primary school.
It was raining moderately that day, and the whole sky was overcast and gloomy. The rain kept falling from the air and hitting the weeds on the ground. The lush weeds can't resist the constant destruction of rain, and they hang and stagger. Impatiens were also mercilessly knocked over to the ground, mixed in the mud, and lost their former beauty. We sat side by side under the eaves, watching the rain. It was that day that she told me her story.
two
My father was born deaf and dumb, and he didn't go to school for several years. As an adult, he couldn't find a suitable partner because of his own and family reasons. Later, I was introduced to my mother in the same situation. After they got married, they got along well. Maybe people in the same situation can really understand each other's difficulties. Perhaps it is their inherent defects that determine that they can't hear each other's complaints and won't quarrel, so they live a dull and happy life together. They gave birth to me a year after their marriage, and I was faced with a silent family as soon as I was born. I have never heard nursery rhymes hummed by my mother before going to bed, and I have never enjoyed the call of my parents to spoil me. I grew up in such a family where my parents occasionally changed their voices.
When I was about one year old, my unmarried aunt sympathized with my sister's family and loved me more. She is worried that my language ability will be affected in such a family, so she often comes to my house to take care of me. When my parents are busy, she will take me to my grandmother's house to take care of me. In this way, I gradually learned to speak, completely unaffected by my parents. When I was five, my parents gave birth to a younger brother. Later, my aunt and I took care of my brother together.
three
When Eiko talked about her aunt, her face was filled with happiness and her words were full of gratitude. Eiko's sister-in-law is really a very good woman. Before getting married, she took good care of the lives of Eiko and her younger brother. She bought them school equipment and beautiful clothes. She tried her best to provide good conditions for Eiko and her brother so that others would not look down on them. She encouraged Eiko and her brother to study hard and change their lives through their own efforts. She told them that they would suffer for a while, but never for life. Eiko and his younger brother study hard and live with the encouragement of their young aunt, and their academic performance is among the best in the class.
Speaking of which, Eiko looked into the distance and the rain continued. The sky seems to be crying its sorrow, and it is endless. Eiko's longing for a better future faded from her face bit by bit, and finally disappeared completely, leaving only dull and empty eyes staring at the rain curtain falling under the eaves. Then she looked up, sniffed, took a deep breath and continued to talk.
four
I can't go to junior high school with you. I have to help my aunt take care of the children. My aunt's second child is coming soon. My aunt has been taking care of our family and my brother and sister for so many years. Now that my aunt has two children, she has no energy and ability to take care of us. I want to help her take care of her children. When her child is older, I will go out to work and let my brother continue his studies. My brother studies well and is a boy. He is sure to support this family, my parents and my aunt.
I can't go to school with you anymore. I will leave the campus forever, but I can't bear it! I like school and study. I thought I could be a teacher and teach many students when I grew up, but now, everything is impossible. I have no choice. I have no choice.
At this point, Eiko sobbed, her head buried between her knees, and I could only see her bowed back. Eiko's whining voice lingers in my ears. I patted her on the back and didn't know how to comfort her. Language is powerless at this time. No amount of gorgeous and beautiful language can change Eiko's fate. No matter how powerful the language is, it can't provide substantial help to eiko. The ego is as helpless as the ego. Just like flowers and plants can't resist the rain, we can only accept our fate.
five
I met Eiko several times after junior high school. Every time I see Eiko, I can't wait to ask about the school. I always try my best to describe the details of the school to eiko. She listened carefully, and her face showed infinite yearning. Eiko will also tell me about her and her aunt's children. Every time we break up, Eiko is always reluctant to go, expecting, reluctant, helpless, and has indescribable complex expressions. Eiko went to work in the city when I was in the third grade, and we haven't seen each other since.