Is that the child you expect? 35 years old, is it the first child? It must make you happy to know that he came, but he didn't really come to this world. Being a mother is really hard.
There are many reasons for fetal arrest. It's not the mother's fault that the child left. You can go to a professional obstetrics and gynecology hospital to check your chromosomes.
The sudden termination of a child's life due date will inevitably make the expectant mother miserable and helpless.
After marriage 1 1 year, I finally got pregnant with 1 baby in a test tube. I was born prematurely at 24 weeks, and the baby who could feel the fetal movement every day suddenly left me forever.
I was 36 years old. I have multiple uterine fibroids, polycystic ovary, cervical incompetence, hyperthyroidism and so on. I am pregnant again. 95% of doctors advised me to give up giving birth. It was the most desperate, helpless and sad day in my life.
I know that I must adjust my emotions as soon as possible and continue to cooperate with the treatment before I can see the children. You can't have any more children. You should adjust your mood and state and live a good life.
In those days when I just lost my child, I will write to the baby I miss every day to express my thoughts and blessings to him. After I was born, I stopped being superstitious. At the patient's suggestion, I turned on the light for the missed baby in the temple shop to reassure myself!
I followed a personal tour group to Chengdu, Chongqing and Yunnan!
At the same time, I force myself to read some books that can inject psychological energy every day, and record a lot of reading audio through reading. I mainly read books on philosophy of life, psychology and pregnancy preparation.
Continue to participate in previous public welfare activities, such as visiting lonely old people in nursing homes and doing spiritual construction for their future lives; Visit children with cerebral palsy in the disabled center, take them out to play, and cultivate patience with the cute little people you may face in the future.
During that time, my lover also gave me a lot of support. Seeing that I am tired, I will drag me to climb the mountain. Although the physical strength is not as good as before, the process of climbing the mountain can also release happy dopamine.
There are still three days of routine examinations at both ends, and medication is taken every day.
Don't indulge yourself in the pain of losing your child and anxiety about the future. Fill my daily life in time. At some point, I will suddenly feel sad, depressed and shed tears. I will accept my present mood, let my tears fall freely, and then continue to adjust after release.
After 8 months of continuous treatment, she miraculously got pregnant again, threatened abortion in early pregnancy, and became pregnant with 12. Lazar ate and drank in bed all the time. Because of the previous psychological construction, there was no danger, pregnancy lasted for many years, and 37+5 gave birth to an extremely precious baby.
Because of the loss before, I cherish the baby now more. I have been taking care of myself since I was born. Every day is extremely tired, but also extremely happy.
Losing will make us know how to cherish more!
Take care of yourself first and love yourself wholeheartedly.
Let yourself move first, I believe you will get better and better!
Let me talk about my experience. I am 39 years old. 18 Before the Spring Festival, my father was admitted to the hospital with a heart attack and died a week later. I found out that I was pregnant the next day after handling all the affairs. My husband likes children very much. After the Spring Festival, he went to check that the child had not developed a fetal heart, and then he decided to stop the fetus and had an induced labor operation. I didn't have a genetic test. I think it may be caused by great sadness during this time. Because my husband and I are in good health at ordinary times, we packed up our mood and moved on.
At the end of 20 18, I was pregnant again. I was very nervous before I went to have a fetal heart examination this time. Fetal heart is all right, nt passed smoothly. At the age of 4 months, I did a non-invasive DNA test, but I didn't expect the result to be 2 1-3 ~, but I still need to make a sheep puncture diagnosis to induce labor. I believe this bolt from the blue is a blow to everyone, but I can only accept this fate. I didn't cry before induced labor. After the injection, I suddenly found that my child had not moved when I was lying on my side. Usually, as long as I lie down, he will kick and punch in protest, and I can't help crying at that moment. The induced labor operation went well. At the moment of delivery, I have been silently thanking the baby and not torturing my mother. My mother will definitely take you back ~
With this experience, my husband and I both checked the DNA, but it was useless. The doctor says getting old is a matter of probability. Because the egg is already in the body at birth, the risk of women's age is great. At the beginning of this year, I was pregnant again and have been resting at home to catch up with the epidemic. Every time I go to the hospital, it seems to be an upgrade. Fortunately, everything has been going well for more than five months. ...
So to comfort you, abortion doesn't mean anything. Have a good rest and try to get pregnant again after half a year. If it is because of physical problems, you have been treated according to the doctor's advice, and there are still three generations of IVF who can detect genes. Because abortion is natural selection, there must be something wrong with the child. Clean up your mood and actively welcome your child to come to you next time.
Re-understand your life, the truth is often not what we believe now.
Abortion, biochemistry, abortion, and miscarriage prevention are almost every woman's hidden pains. As long as you talk to a female friend (even a male friend), you will find that she (his wife and sister) have had such an experience. It is difficult to be a mother without smooth sailing, and you are not alone.
Before I gave birth to my eldest son at the age of 39, I had two spontaneous abortions: spontaneous abortion after miscarriage 1, biochemical abortion 1, biochemical abortion 1 before giving birth to my second son at the age of 42.
All the three abortions were about 2 months pregnant, 1 time. Because of taking a lot of anti-abortion drugs, they barely lasted for more than 3 months, and finally there was no fetal heart germ.
Abortion in early pregnancy is the result of natural selection. Sick embryos flow away, and good embryos develop into healthy babies. Let nature take its course, don't force it, don't stop all daily life, and use a lot of drugs to protect the fetus (except in special circumstances).
Don't work hard to have a baby. Your life is more important than your children. You are not a machine to carry on the family line. If infertility makes you lose your marriage, it's no big deal, it only makes you more aware of your weight in some people's hearts. Live a good life, read more books and travel more in your spare time to enrich your knowledge. After many years, you will understand that it is good to be alive!
Relax and take a natural attitude. I wish you an early baby.
For friends with so-called psychological and mental problems, the most important thing for you at present is to tear off all kinds of "symptoms" and "diseases" labels attached to you as soon as possible.
All your negative emotions exist in everyone alive in the world, just like breathing. You're sick. Everybody's sick. As ridiculous as eating disorders and sleep disorders. Since it is normal, there is no need to solve it. Unless life is solved, it will not be solved. You are all normal people, no different from others. Therefore, psychological and mental problems are a false proposition. Solving psychological problems is the problem itself. This is a terrible trap. Once you fall in, you don't even know it, and you don't even have the consciousness to jump out.
What is the difference between us and ordinary people? The difference is that others have negative emotions and don't fall in. Not only did we not know it was a trap when we fell in, but we certainly didn't know how to jump out, let alone how to jump out. We can only struggle innocently.
Therefore, having negative emotions is not terrible. The terrible thing is never to get caught up in it. Don't be afraid if you get stuck, as long as you know it's a trap and you don't need to solve anything, just jump out and you'll be fine. Someone said, "I can't jump out." That's because you don't know how the trap came from, how it worked, and how it fell in. I can't even see the trap, of course I don't know how to jump out. Knowing this, you can do the opposite and jump out.
Where is the trap? Because of all kinds of persistence and desires in our hearts, we weave an invisible net for ourselves and bind ourselves firmly. In the process of solving various practical problems that are considered to cause our psychological problems, this net becomes more and more dense until we can't move. If you do the opposite, only by letting go of all kinds of persistence and desires and solving any problems can you completely get out of the trap. This is the way to get lost.
Someone insisted on asking me the specific method. There is no specific method. Our hearts are all the time. Internal problems cannot be solved by external methods. We still eat, sleep, work, study and live, and do whatever we want. Since we are normal people, since we are not sick, of course, we can only do what we should do, otherwise what else needs to be done? But what to do at this time is completely different from before. Now I just want to eat and sleep, and work is work. Learning is learning. Live in the present, don't regret the past, and don't fear the future.
Traditional psychology, because it doesn't understand what psychological problems are, has scientifically and systematically invented many seemingly scientific, intelligent and tall "symptoms" and "diseases" for various seemingly negative emotions and physiological reactions, which makes people dazzled and cannot but admire the greatness and intelligence of psychology. In order to shine, traditional psychologists have also carefully designed various scales, which are extremely accurate, scientific and convincing. However, this is really ridiculous. Our hearts can be so precise and unchangeable. Any so-called normal person will be labeled when he has negative emotions.
In order to cover up their incompetence, traditional psychologists tell everyone: "This is not only a disease, but also a lifelong disease, and you must take medicine for life." This conclusion pushed many people to the abyss of despair. Once we are convinced of this conclusion, we will accept our fate, give up ourselves and spend our lives like walking dead. This is really a great sorrow.
You know, we must take everything into our own hands. If it is due to the outside world, and we can't change the outside world, what can we do except despair? In the same way, if we attribute the so-called psychological problems to the outside world and think that they are caused by heredity, family, environment, disease, money, others or other reasons, if these external problems can be changed (in fact, even if they can't be changed, it won't help), then you have nothing but despair.
You know, our inner control is in our own hands. Whether we are happy, depressed or anxious is up to us. Your mentality can only be changed by yourself. The same problem can be handled with different mentality. If we are unwilling to change, there is nothing anyone can do.
Our hearts have nothing to do with the outside world and physiology. On the contrary, physiological changes are caused by changes in our hearts. If the reason is attributed to the outside world, then we will lose control of our own lives, resign ourselves to fate, go with the flow, be completely irresponsible to ourselves, and give ourselves to others for mercy.
However, your heart can only be changed by yourself, and no one else can move it at all. It's impossible to make people change their minds. Legs on yourself, others can only tell you the direction, you need to take every step by yourself. One step is one step, if not, stay where you are.
I'm not saying that we didn't work hard in the past, on the contrary, but that we worked too hard. It can be said that we have tried our best, exhausted all means and methods, and even worked hard for decades, but we just can't get out. Why? Because everyone went in the wrong direction and couldn't find the reason, they took the opposite road. As a result, the harder they work, the more serious they are. It's best to do nothing.
It seems that the sea of suffering is boundless, but in fact, the other shore is behind you, right in front of you. When you turn around, you turn around. We just need to stop releasing negative energy and start releasing positive energy. If you change your mind, you will be fine, you will turn around, you will change your direction, just stick to it. So, what is positive energy? Positive energy means that every thought, every sentence and every line is altruistic. I said too much in the article, so I won't go into details.
Find a professional doctor in a regular hospital. Then do what you have to do.
Optimistic about this problem, since things have happened and cannot be redeemed, why not face this reality? Even the best psychiatrist can't really save a person's mind. Psychologists can only guide them, and they can only face it by themselves.
1 first of all, you have to understand that fetal arrest means there is something wrong with fetal development. If he is really born, it will become a lifelong burden for you and your family. Of course, it will also be the pain of the child's life. A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise, so relax.
2, change the environment, find something to do, travel to relax, communicate with your lover and change your mood.
3, 35 years old is not very old. Most of my sisters get married in their thirties and don't have children until they are 35 -40, so don't feel old or anything. Fitness, more exercise, relaxation, children will meet unexpectedly. [yi tooth]