Later, some classic cases will be promoted, and I hope you can get inspiration.
It will always be upgraded ~
The definition of retention in this world: it's just that you chased each other again. It's not the continuation of your last love, but the gradual development of new feelings.
However, if you want to chase after it again, the main fund in your hand has already been known by the other party in the first love. In this case, you should accumulate new main funds.
The natural standard for everyone to keep one person:
It must be that this person is worth it. It is very likely that he has waited for you for a wonderful and unforgettable time, with excellent and precious qualities and irreplaceable attraction.
Generally speaking, he is irreplaceable here. If you miss him, you may never meet such a person again in your life.
The essence of retaining people must not be mistaken.
"The essence of retention is to completely remove the past and extract the root causes, which is the whole process of attracting and utilizing value accumulation."
If you say that your feelings can be reunited in two or three sentences or a small talk, then this is at best a fake breakup.
Again: high rescue is to keep yourself, primary rescue is to keep your marriage, and low rescue is to keep your goal.
Tricks and methods can only help you for a while, but not for a lifetime. What's more, emotion is a long-term relationship!
There are no methods and tricks that can really be combined with first love, and all related methods are generalized and cannot be eradicated. You should understand that emotion is a long-term connection. Long-term related problems are accumulated overnight. So you're sure you need methods, not work ability?
I have read many articles about the retained dry goods on the Internet, all of which are about some retained tactics. As far as social psychology is concerned, this just captures the advantages of human nature and exploits the loopholes of behavioral psychology.
Really uproot and solve the difficulties!
So, what should I do?
First, choose the problem of separation, and then deal with it symptomatically-if the diagnosis of the cause of separation is incorrect, the adverse effects will be unpredictable.
Second: When will retention be more successful?
Third: how to keep them?
Fourth: the steps to retain.
Fifth: the proper use of breaking up.
Sixth: Common problems in retention.
First: choose to separate the problem and then prescribe the right medicine!
Many emotional interviewees in Zhihu Lake, Dou Xiu performed their own stunts. I like all kinds of individual categories, zodiac signs, personality characteristics and so on. But are these feelings inconvenient to crush? The way to retain is very important, but the real implementation _ maybe few people can go through a set of steps, and probably many people just listen.
Then _ why on earth do people want to separate?
Everyone in the world pursues only two things in their feelings: mystery and a sense of belonging.
The mystery determines the sweetness of your feelings, and the sense of belonging determines the stability of your feelings.
Similarly, if we break up, one or two of them must be missing.
If you want to stay, you have to analyze it first What do you lack is mystery or belonging?
"Then what is mystery?"
-Everyone is a curious cat. With a thirst for knowledge, there will be an impulse to explore those new things, and every exploration will produce a little happiness. This is the so-called mystery.
For example: why in reality, two small conjectures are often better than love at first sight?
It is because two people who have no guesses know each other, have a sense of mystery, and of course have no desire to pick, so it is difficult to produce a spark of love.
So: the gradual development of a relationship must come from mystery.
When I first met, or at the beginning of love, the mystery exploded. At this moment, your relationship is sweeter, which is also called the honeymoon period of love.
But as you get to know each other better and better, the novelty gradually decreases, the desire to choose gradually disappears, and the mystery also disappears.
In other words, your honeymoon is over.
Most lovers will break up within this time range. The reasons provided by the other party include but are not limited to: tired, bored, I have changed, I don't love, and I feel bad.
If there are the above keywords, then _ you are separated because of mystery.
In a word, he is not interested in you. What do you think of this?
Remember to be stubborn, die, live, and even send him a long and clear message. You must understand that he doesn't love you at this time, and it's useless for you to make a will.
"Be bigger, take advantage of value"-just want to be a better self.
For compound, we never say "love" or "love". Our favorite proper noun is: attraction.
The love between two people is nothing more than mutual attraction, and the reason for being together is attraction. If it is not enough, it will cause separation.
-It is the most basic and simple data model.
Therefore, it is an essential part to rebuild itself and enhance its allure, which can be divided into external and internal.
Let's talk about appearance first. Let me put it this way. Boys pay more attention to looks than girls. So you should start from the aspects of dressing, body shape and makeup. In this link, it is also an improvement of your confidence. The more beautiful girls are, the more confident and attractive they are.
Remember: not to be a better ex-boyfriend, just to be a better self!
Secondly, the essential infrastructure: after a long period of consultation, I found a surprising situation, that is, many people are too involved in separation, and another is the victim psychology. It is also a typical victim's psychology to stubbornly feel that the other party has invested so much but abandoned himself.
If you want to save your predecessor, you must get rid of this prison mentality. Return to fair opposition!
Mainly manifested in changing the self-concept of marriage, so that they are not easy to make mistakes such as thinking too much, thinking crooked, cynicism and so on.
The world itself is like this. A good horse has a saddle. If you built it yourself, even if he doesn't look back, you can still find something better.
The reason for lovelorn depends on: he doesn't like you very much.
Note, it's not that he doesn't like you, but that he doesn't like you now, otherwise you won't be easy to get together from the beginning, let alone fall in love.
You need to change yourself accurately and do your best to make you the person he can't get after breaking up!
This method is simple to say, but it is actually difficult to start. In the final analysis, it is the whole process of making you excellent, and it is undoubtedly hard to be excellent.
Girls and boys should not only keep girls, but also let girls change themselves. It takes a lot of energy to change clothes, mix and match clothes, and show the least technological things on the surface, not to mention many changes.
Many people feel helpless when they change, so there are not a few people who choose to give up and make a decision to please their ex-boyfriends!
It's simple. That may make my psychological state slightly relieved, thinking that I can interact with the other party, and the other party will be moved by myself, which is not comfortable at all, but it will also have a little effect. Yes, I don't believe in love.
Women think that obedience will make boys grovel, which is all wet. Everyone has a desire to conquer. Only when he realizes that he has not completely conquered you will he rekindle his interest in pursuing perfection.
Until after a period of time, until his "ex-boyfriend's boring period" has passed, you can choose an opportunity, naturally repair contact, and then attract, at this time, you need to know the mystery of boys.
-that is, variability.
There is no need to make him feel that he is "eating you". Your main performance is to be fascinated, to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, to explore flowers in the fog, as if you love him very much, but as if you don't love him. You don't need to make him feel that he has completely conquered you.
Because of boys' eyes, all they care about is flying hunting.
"What is a sense of belonging?"
If we say that a boy is with you, he is separated by the long-term depression and depression you have created, and finally the chills continue to accumulate, which is called insecurity.
He's worried. He is uncomfortable and insecure when he is with you. He broke up because he thought carefully and didn't want to get hurt again. His reasons include but are not limited to: I'm tired, I like not touching you, I can't hold on, and everyone may not be suitable.
If you have the above keywords, you probably belong to a hand that lacks a sense of belonging.
In fact, boys also have a sense of belonging, and the threshold is higher. In a stable and harmonious long-term relationship, each other can obviously feel the good feelings of others, which is called a sense of belonging.
In a word: he still loves you, but his love has not moved.
What do you think of this?
"Give a sense of belonging"-Put yourself into practice
If you really love him, think about it, will you force a boy who is full of you to leave you? Did you make a mistake without knowing it?
If you still love him, put your thoughts away. You are not a princess, you are just a girl who loves that person deeply.
If your self-confidence changes you and makes him have confidence in you, then _ do it instead of just knowing how to guarantee it verbally. Girls may be deceived by sweet words, but it is not easy for boys. The way of thinking of boys is objective. They don't listen to service promises, but only look at the results.
The following are examples of students.
Once upon a time there was a girl who separated from her boyfriend. She realized that she had done too much to disappoint her boyfriend, so she came to me for help, made sure she knew she was wrong, and then she must pay close attention to him.
According to her, her boyfriend has been ironing clothes in the gym. I said, "Hurry up, buy a bottle of water now and send it to him after he finishes practicing."
_ If this girl hesitates, she says it will be bad. Will I take it for granted in the past? Will I go to the bottled water after training with his good friends? Does Barabara have a lot of scruples?
This kind of girl is a typical talker. She talks about changing for her boyfriend, and all kinds of service promises are loud. When she enters the behavior, she will hesitate and be timid. If so, do you still want to stay? I have to tell you, it's hopeless
Girls look at their mentality and care whether boys know themselves, but boys are different. He doesn't care whether you know him or not. Instead, you think "I don't understand you", and maybe he will continue to be very happy.
He doesn't care about your mentality, because no matter how positive your attitude is, it is difficult to solve practical problems, so it doesn't have all practical significance in the eyes of boys. What boys always look at is the behavior of girls, whether it will change objectively.
If you just make fun of the gun mouth and don't make any real changes in his eyes, it's only equivalent to zero eggs.
So, if you want to fill the sense of belonging, it is a way to tell him by behavior:
"I made you sad some time ago. I missed the love you gave me, but I can pay you back slowly, so don't go, let's make up. "
Remember, in love, men are hunters and women are traps. If you choose your precise positioning, you will know what to do next.
In addition to the sense of belonging and mystery, there is also a separation, which is subjective, such as lack of money, lack of housing, foreign countries, parental interference, national integrity, and international disputes.
If we break up because of force majeure, if we can't solve the difficulties, we must make a more specific plan.
In this era, separation is inevitable, and everyone's loss is the same. Remember that your retention is not a sufficient and necessary condition!
Girl's attitude towards her ex-boyfriend, have you thought clearly about the problem of your separation?