I often hear people around me say that "modern people are getting more and more lonely", "I don't seem to like going out to socialize more and more" and "Don't remind me that I'm a social phobia".

In life, everyone tries to reduce their sense of existence, does not like to talk, does not want to associate with people, and often feels embarrassed and panicked in crowded places.

Of the eight symptoms of social phobia, how many have you got?

1. I am most afraid of being introduced by cue, and I hope there is no sense of existence.

Self-introduction is a big problem for people with social phobia. Some people talked about Kan Kan, others talked about hobbies and met a group of friends by the way. When it was my turn, I looked at the people below and said in a panic, "I'm xxx, where am I from?" Then I stuttered. For people with social phobia, no matter how well prepared they are, they resist this scene and behave unsatisfactorily.

It is not safe to go out without headphones, even if you don't listen to songs.

Hot topic on the Internet: Why can't people go out without headphones now? "

Gao Zan replied: "The oxygen pipes and admirals of modern young people." On the surface, it is listening to music, but in fact it is isolating people and things around.

When a person takes the bus and subway, wearing headphones can brush his mobile phone with peace of mind, full of security.

3. Sit in the corner and eat an unfamiliar dinner, only the latest dishes.

In life, there are many such people:

I am talkative in front of my friends, and it is not difficult to take over. However, whenever a stranger appears, he will calm down immediately. Once I participated in a group building, my colleague next to me didn't say anything for a long time and kept carrying the dish in front of me. I learned later: I was worried that the dishes farther away would slip off by hand or stand up and be noticed by everyone. Such people often don't want others to see their plight, and simply choose the safest way.

4. online is chatterbox, offline is silence.

Some people are surfers and "Yan Wen", but in real life, she is cautious everywhere. When talking to people, she dare not look directly at them. She often bows her head in front of people and doesn't talk. If she can get it online, she will never meet offline. Chatting online is like a rabbit, and communication in life is as quiet as a virgin.

5. The most annoying thing: the shopping guide in the mall has been following and introducing.

Many people are reluctant to go out shopping because they are worried that they will see the shopping guide as soon as they enter the store and follow them all the way. They just want to say: I'll just look at it myself. Even the gym salesman on the main road, who obviously didn't want to lose weight, stopped to listen for ten minutes. Such people, in the face of others' diligent requests, are always embarrassed to refuse, and once they are in an embarrassing situation, they will even blame themselves.

6.？ Be extremely concerned about other people's eyes

In front of customers, you often feel that you are incompetent and don't know what to say in time. In the end, someone else can only rob the project. It is easy to be nervous, insecure and uncomfortable in social situations, which leads to many rare contacts and opportunities being missed in vain. Being stared at by all the hot eyes is like standing on the stage, which makes people feel embarrassed.

Three psychological skills to get rid of "social fear"

1 Reject spotlight effect

The so-called spotlight effect is that people care too much about things related to themselves and think that others' eyes are focused on themselves. For example, daily troubles: am I rude? Will ta not like me wearing this? Have I said too much? You have to remember: others don't have so much time to pay attention to you, and some of the pain comes from you magnifying the original insignificant things.

Record your negative emotions. Whenever I think about what others think of me before starting a task and think that I will screw it up, I will record it and think of the worst result. When you feel anxious about this, instead of running away and being led by your own thoughts, stop and think about what is bothering you.

3 learn to be self-consistent

Not letting go of yourself is the root of pain; Choosing reconciliation is the key to happiness. Try to let go of the psychological burden and talk to your inner self. From now on, face life calmly, don't spend in social life, and be sober.