The most obvious phenomenon is that you always force yourself to do something you don't want to do, even if you are not satisfied, try to do it. You think people give you these things because they respect you and trust your ability.
If you refuse, others will blame you and criticize you for not being good at cooperating with others, which will make you feel guilty. In short, you don't want your image to be greatly discounted by others.
In a group, this kind of "please" psychology is understandable. Behavioral psychologists call this kind of behavior "parasitic dependence", trying to improve self-worth through people and things outside.
They work more than ten hours every day, even on holidays. When they devote themselves wholeheartedly to their work, their relationship with their families becomes more and more alienated.
Others lack self-confidence and are afraid of rejecting others, as if to show that they are too lazy and unreasonable and will be scolded. They are afraid of the authority of others. In order to get a good impression and maintain the relationship with others, even if it is unreasonable, you should nod and say "good".
In fact, we often care too much about our importance to others. It's like we often hear a joke about others: "Without you, the earth is still turning." This sentence means that no one can replace it.
If you take everything as your responsibility and try to finish everything, you are simply asking for trouble. Your real responsibility is to yourself, not to others.
You should first recognize your own needs, rearrange the priorities of values and determine what is really important to you. Putting yourself first is by no means selfish, but shows your recognition of your moral consciousness.
Psychologists say that the first abstract concept that humans learn is to shake their heads and say "no". For example, children over one year old will shake their heads and refuse requests or orders from adults. This symbolic action is the beginning of self-concept.
"No" of course stands for "refusal", but it also stands for "choice". A person forms and defines himself through constant choice. Therefore, when you say "no", it is equivalent to saying "yes"
You are a person who doesn't want to be. Bravely saying "no" will not necessarily bring you trouble, but will relieve your pressure. If you don't want to say "no" now and continue to squeeze your unhappiness,
One day, when patience reaches its limit, you lose control and shout "No". Faced with an unmanageable mess, others may turn around and ask you without understanding, "Why didn't you say so earlier?"
If you want to be more comfortable, sometimes you can bravely stand up and say "no". Remember, you don't have to feel guilty, because this is your basic right.