First, "divorce"! ?
For couples, "divorce" and "break up" are very sensitive and heavy words, and you must not blurt them out before the relationship breaks down. It is dangerous to mention these words rashly: first, it is easy to tear the emotional bond between husband and wife, which makes the other party have unnecessary guesses and lose heart; Second, it is easy to deepen family conflicts. In the long run, the consequences of divorce will really appear. Ms. Wang and her husband have a good relationship, but occasionally they quarrel a little, which is nothing at all, but when Ms. Wang is excited, she casually says, "What are you arguing about?" If not, she will divorce! " The husband didn't care too much when he said this for the first time. After several times, he felt very bad and thought that his wife had made new progress, so he talked about divorce. In the long run, the husband and wife became more and more estranged, and soon they really embarked on the road of divorce. ?
Second, "loser"! ?
For example, when a wife sees someone else's husband, she can help her with some housework. I envy cooking, so I am more and more dissatisfied with my husband. I often complain, "You are such a loser. You can't do anything, nothing. " Her original intention was to stimulate him to learn some non-professional skills, but it backfired. The more times she said this, the more timid her husband became, because she made him afraid to study, and he felt that no matter how hard he tried, he could not catch up with his wife. This wife may not know that she is using these words to destroy her husband's self-confidence and hurt the feelings of husband and wife. The correct way is to give your spouse positive encouragement and improve his ability. ?
Third, "I was really blind"! ?
Similar words include "If I had known today, why should I have done it in the first place" and "It's really bad for me to follow you" and so on. When you say these words angrily, deep remorse is obvious. How can this not hurt your spouse's self-esteem? My husband was laid off and my wife was shocked. I thought it would bring contempt and supercilious look to her and increase the family's financial burden. I thought I would promise to buy a piano for my son ... I couldn't help but be furious: "I was really blind and married a man without food!" ? "As soon as I finished, I gave my husband a big slap in the face, because he was also anxious and angry. How can you not be particularly angry when you hear this? In fact, a wife should tie the cable of love firmly to her husband's boat and pull it out of the dangerous beach with gentle feelings at the critical moment when her husband's boat is suffering from wind and rain. Any words of regret will not only solve the problem, but will complicate it and run aground the boat of feelings. ?
Fourth, "Look at people ..."?
As the saying goes, "goods are better than people, and people die than people." In many families today, "comparative education method" has become one of the important ways of mutual education between husband and wife, which is actually a psychological trick of comparison. Especially for wives, they often accuse their husbands in this way. Because in China's traditional concept, the husband is always regarded as the head of the family, and the rise and fall of the husband is directly related to his wife's personal interests, so they are used to looking for several "typical figures" as examples. Even among intellectual women, this is inevitable. For example, "Look at Xiao Li's husband, who became the general manager at a young age. What about you? " This way of "comparative education" for husbands, whether straightforward or euphemistic, contains the meaning of "you are not as good as so-and-so", so it often makes a good-tempered husband extremely embarrassed, and a bad-tempered husband will also say, "Go with others if they are good!" The result is a deep shadow over the small family. Understand that everyone has his own strengths and weaknesses, and a wife should know how to seize the opportunity to encourage her husband instead of satirizing him. The result of irony can only be counterproductive. ?
Fifth, "It's none of your business!" ?
The most precious thing between husband and wife is trust and the most harmful thing is suspicion. In life, some couples are kind because of mutual trust, and their feelings are deepening day by day; Some couples quarrel because of mutual suspicion, and their feelings are getting more and more alienated. "It's none of your business" tends to mislead the other person, thinking that you are hiding something from him, and gradually he doesn't trust you. For example, when the wife came home late, the husband asked, "Why did you come back so late?" This is originally a concern, but if the wife happens to be unhappy, she will say "none of your business"! Of course, the husband will be very wronged and will secretly wonder: Does she have any skeletons in her closet? Suspicion is produced unconsciously, so family turmoil is brewed unconsciously. ?
Sixth, "Take a piss and look at yourself!" ?
As the saying goes: hit people not in the face, call names not to expose shortcomings. The so-called "short" refers to people's shortcomings in physique, behavior and ideological quality. Or the problems they had, or the last thing I want to talk about. These "shortcomings" are generally taboos in husband and wife's life, just like scars, and no one wants to expose them reluctantly. However, when the anger comes up, this tacit understanding is easily broken, and some couples are completely reckless and don't know what to say. For example, a wife said bitterly to her ugly husband, "My beautiful man, take a pee photo!" " "In this way, it obviously means personal attacks. This is an irrational way of speaking, which will not only hurt each other's self-esteem and feelings, but also dig an insurmountable gap between husband and wife. ?
Seventh, "Your lover ..."?
In real life, not many people succeed in a love. In this case, many couples have a question about how to treat each other's old love. Some people often give speeches on the topic of "your lover" and dig at their spouses with playful attitude and language, thinking that only in this way can they ease their anger and urge their spouses to break off their old feelings. As everyone knows, this is the easiest way to hurt your spouse's self-esteem, let your spouse compare you with your old lover, and let your spouse's old love sprout. If you take the opposite attitude, treat your spouse's past love as a long-forgotten past, and understand and respect each other's experience before marriage, your spouse will be more likely to forget the old love and love you wholeheartedly.