Under the guidance of this idea, the competent authorities and public opinion constantly call for reducing the burden on children. But it seems that the burden is getting heavier and heavier, and more and more extracurricular tutoring institutions are booming, which has become the biggest irony of reducing the burden.
Then, in addition to seeing that children are under great learning pressure, we have been emphasizing burden reduction. As parents, haven't we thought about deeper problems?
As a parent who is experiencing the sprint of junior high school and senior high school, I have a completely different perspective. Instead of reducing the burden on children, I hope that children can carry it on their own and exercise stronger abilities.
My own experience, experience, and pressure on myself are to be good to myself. I was born in the 1970s, and I took the college entrance examination in the last year before the enrollment expansion in colleges and universities in the mid-1990s. Hunan candidates with the fiercest competition in the college entrance examination, regardless of crossing the wooden bridge, were admitted to Central South University (then called Central South University of Technology, the first batch of 2 1 1, 985 and double-class universities).
When I was a child, there were really no cram schools and extracurricular tutoring, and my parents couldn't help us. We all rely on our own consciousness, especially after junior high school, from two courses in primary school to 7-9 courses at once. This sudden change in learning intensity has made many students uncomfortable and their academic performance has suddenly opened. At the beginning, I was also an ordinary boy, and my academic performance was very average, which even dragged down the average score of the whole class.
May be suddenly enlightened, when I was in the second grade, I suddenly became crazy about learning. Because I have a good foundation in mathematics since I was a child, and my temperament is single-minded, I often stay up for a few hours just to overcome a problem. It is common to learn 1. At 2 pm, I can slowly get the top grades in my class. More importantly, I am confident and motivated to learn. This is a bloody state. Including the second prize in physics Olympic Games and the second prize in mathematics Olympic Games in senior two and senior three respectively. Two or three months before the college entrance examination, in addition to preparing for the exam, they even began to learn college physics and advanced mathematics.
During this period, my parents never bought me a counseling book, and there was no cram school to attend. They all use their pocket money to go to the bookstore to buy counseling books and make them themselves.
In this process, no one will help us. On the contrary, I clearly know that only by continuing to work hard and working harder can we have a chance to win the college entrance examination and university admission tickets.
Looking back on so many years, I have some insights.
1. If I hadn't pushed myself so hard in those years, I wouldn't have gone to a technical school with a group of classmates and spent my life in my parents' factory. To make matters worse, I couldn't find a job, so I had to go out to do odd jobs and drive a black car (a classmate who drove a black car had an accident and died early).
Because of those years' efforts, when I encountered great resistance and difficulties in my future career, I always told myself that you had survived all the hardships in those years. What are these difficulties and setbacks?
3. When we get together with old classmates, when we are classmates of workers, we always pay attention to whether the benefits of the enterprise are good or not, whether we can get an extra 500 or 1000 benefit prize at the end of this year, and so on. Those students who are admitted to the university, especially those who have a smooth career development, pay more attention to topics such as where to travel, what books to read, industry development trends, personal opinions and so on. To put it mildly, the level determines the focus and mentality of attention.
People with weak ability always pay attention to whether they will lose their jobs in the future and how to support their families. Strong people never worry about their unemployment and future life development. Some relatives and friends were surprised to know that I gave up my good income and position and chose to be a full-time father, because in their view, if I gave up my job, I didn't know what else I could do. This kind of confusion and self-confidence intensifies day after day and year after year.
All these differences and changes are due to the efforts and persistence when I was young.
The cruelty of social environment and competition will make you relax a little? Give you more opportunities? Needless to say, this truth and the current reality, college students' employment, high housing prices, medical care, education, nothing you can easily deal with.
If you lower your expectations and requirements, let your children relax and experience a "happy" and "relaxed" childhood, it basically means that their competitiveness will be reduced. They have never experienced fierce competition, the joy of success after hard work and the feeling of frustration since childhood. How much can you expect their children to do when they grow up?
Modern society is becoming more and more standardized, and the cost of opportunism is getting higher and higher. Everyone needs to make enough efforts to get full recognition. Now you have relieved the pressure on the children. Can you wait for your child to grow up because he has no skill or courage? For their jobs and families, you can take care of them with money?
Take my relatives and friends as an example. There are several distant cousins who have been used to pampering themselves since childhood. They didn't cultivate their study habits and self-motivation. They finally made it to high school graduation, but they couldn't even get into a serious junior college. The family spent a lot of money to send them to a private college for three years. The last one worked as a courier for many years, and the other one went to the fruit market as a porter for a wholesaler. Both parents had to pay for it.
A cousin, a cousin, attaches great importance to the education investment at home, and the tutor is very strict. Now one 985 graduate student is working in a central enterprise, and the other is studying for a doctorate in economics in Germany. Now the parents of the two sisters are retired and travel around all day. Not if you feel comfortable.
What kind of parents do you want to be?
Class solidification is irreversible. What class do you want your children to struggle for? This society is like this. Excellent people often work harder, and this kind of effort will always get rich rewards, more resources and opportunities, higher positions and wages, better living, medical care, transportation and education environment, and the ability and mentality to cope with various risks more calmly. The gap between these advantages will become more and more obvious and insurmountable over time.
Some time ago, the resumes of the second generation of five-year-old children profoundly told us that the more privileged the class, the more attention it pays to the investment in education, and it doesn't matter if the pressure is too great. What is important is whether the children have received enough training, hardships and incentives, and whether they can persist in and break through the existing classes in their future lives and consolidate the advantages of the classes.
Too many people, while admiring others' sense of superiority, are forced by the pressure of survival and are busy with the triviality of life, without thinking about why they have fallen to the lower level and lived an increasingly difficult life. All they do is complain. This kind of mentality will not help the class break through, nor will it help the children achieve the future.
If you want to reduce the pressure, you will not make an appointment, but it will only give us more chances to win. As a beneficiary of college entrance examination and economic opening-up, I deeply understand the importance of knowledge and competitiveness. I know that this competitive advantage does not fall from the sky and can only be achieved through unremitting efforts, diligence and persistence.
If a person can't put all his thoughts and energy into learning and improving his self-ability when he has the least burden (adolescence), can you expect him to have enough thoughts and energy to learn and improve himself when he is stressed by survival and day-to-day work in adulthood?
Don't be fooled by the story that university security guards were admitted to undergraduate and graduate schools. There are too few people who can counterattack!
Therefore, as far as my family is concerned, I have always emphasized to my children that "all your efforts now are aimed at giving you more ability to choose lifestyle in the future", "You don't have to worry about three meals a day", "Choose the life you want" and "calmly choose the job you are interested in, not the one that can make money".
This way of thinking, we will not decompress. On the premise that children have the ability and spare capacity, I would rather study ahead of time and strengthen my competitive advantage.
My daughter's previous math scores were only in the top three, and she began to take an Olympic math class in the fourth grade. Since then, she often got back 108- 10 in math exams, and she also had the strength to compete for certain awards in competitions. What really makes me happy is not the results the children got back, but the smiles on their faces and the confidence that gradually fills their hearts.