Stab a friend in the back and a woman in the back.

Come quickly when you rob a bank, remember to put socks on your head, and you'd better buy Langsha brand.

4 hate me. It's okay. I don't mind. I don't live to please you.

You laugh that I am different from you, and I laugh that you are all the same.

The sweat and tears you shed today are all caused by the water in your head.

Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to find more trees.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

You are handsome and handsome, and everyone loves you. You must be the best among scum, the animal among beasts and the fighter among rubbish. Oh yeah!

10 I like that you take the initiative to find me, so I believe you won't bother me.

1 1 Which school did you graduate from? Your annoying degree has been completed as a postdoctoral fellow! !

12 I'm not super Mary. I can't support the RMB you want.

13 Some students' heads should not exceed the intersection angle.

14 After the first kiss, the woman will regard this kiss as an investment, and the man will regard it as a loan to be recovered.

15 God created virgins and I created women.

16 Some people always want to let God know when they do good things, and always want to let ghosts know when they do bad things.

17 Let's get married for a better divorce!

18 The bedside table of a couple is actually a condiment of life, especially for women.

But sometimes, it's not that I don't want to talk, but that I'm a little sleepy. ...

19 everyone says that being a man is very tired, and I feel the same way.

Put on a wig, a mask, glasses and smile.

Put on underwear, coat, coat, underwear, trousers and belt.

Put on socks, shoes and shoelaces every day until you go to heaven.

Go your own way and let the cat and dog talk.

2 1 I want to serve the people, but I can't serve all the people, nor can I serve all the people;

I want to serve people like my relatives, friends, acquaintances and beautiful women.

I'm busy enough. How can I have the energy to serve others and serve others?

It is difficult for rich people to have no money.

A woman kissing a man is a kind of happiness, and a man kissing a woman is a kind of luck.

This world is different from other worlds. As long as it is an official, there is a way.

I am not a casual person; But once you get up casually, you are not a person.

Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle. Call him out and ask!

I can't close the garden in spring, so I pull an almond out of the wall.

In this life, are you here to borrow money or pay off debts?

What is the way to come out? The sage said: waste.

A man can have sex with whoever he wants as long as he has money.

3 1 Today is a majestic rooster, and tomorrow it may become a feather duster with complete discredit.

Not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but afraid to open the lid and have a surprise, enjoy one more bottle.

Money makes the mare go.

Sorry is a kind of sincerity, it doesn't matter, it's a kind of grace.

If you give your heart, but you can't get grace, it can only show the ignorance and vulgarity of the other party!

Think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

36 college students = eat+sleep+fall in love with pigs = eat+sleep, so college students = pigs+fall in love with more college students-fall in love with pigs = that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.

Hello: Today is International Women's Day. On behalf of the International Women's Federation, I officially inform you that all women's toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Please come here.

Motto of non-drinkers: Eat your own food and let others vomit.

39 Low-key people In the real world, low-key guys are the most attractive.

I am young and need your advice, but I don't need your advice.

4 1 Thanks to my figure, I can travel around the world even if I am bloated.

Not afraid of opponents like God, but afraid of teammates like rogue rabbits.

You have a big chest and no brain.

It's better than a small chest and no brain.

It takes ten thousand years from monkey to human, and only one bottle of wine is needed from human to monkey ~

You go! Go as far as possible, please don't pester me, I really can't stand you,

You will only bring me harm. The better you treat me, the more painful I am.

Fly away, dead mosquito!

Everyone says I'm an actor, because my eyes roll at the sight of beautiful mm.

I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers.

48 when work and love are not going well, you can take out your little brother, stare at it and meditate on its spirit:

It can be long or short, thick or thin, extensible or bendable, soft or hard. Learn it, and the immediate difficulty is a bird!

49. A woman chooses a gesture that makes her life irreplaceable.

As long as your feet are on the ground, don't look down on yourself; As long as you live on earth, don't take yourself too seriously.

5 1 I will have a son with a handsome name, so others will say handsome dad when they see me.

52 people can't judge a book by its cover, and a small night can't be measured.

In love, someone dies; In marriage, some people regard death as death.

I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.

It is not necessarily a good thing for everyone to stand on one side, such as standing on the side of the boat.

57 men are used to rely on, so be reliable; Women are meant to love, so be cute.

Many people love someone by mistake because of loneliness, but more people are lonely all their lives because of loving someone by mistake.

Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart.

I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu.

6 1 true love is like a UFO-only heard of it, never seen it. Even if I did, 99.9% of them were fake. If you really meet that 0. 1%, then congratulations, you have found an alien!

The highest state of eating buffet: help the wall in, help the wall out.

Men who have one-night stands are romantic, while women who have one-night stands are lewd.

Next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom and lock the door.

Quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with a quilt, and stretch out my big hand.

Look, my mobile phone is blue.

There is an dissatisfied wife behind a man who has a lot of entertainment, and a super dissatisfied wife behind a man who has no entertainment at all.

Corrupt officials are everywhere, spending money like water.

Don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy! Get married if you can!

If I give you a pair of wings, you should be braised.

Interesting quotation

1, don't be infatuated with brother, sister-in-law is the legend. If you were a flower, cows wouldn't dare to shit in the future.

3, drive Audi, wear Dior, and eat Oreo if you have nothing to do.

4, my life is not decided by heaven, and heaven will destroy me.

It's not that my brother is obsessed with legends, but that legends are so beautiful.

6. Minimum goal: Nongfu Spring has a little field.

7. Brother, I'll throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

8. You play with your customization and I play with my formatting.

9. Cover your crotch and respect others' crotch.

10, high-profile low-key male show, high-profile signs of being beaten.

1 1, it rains in the middle of the night, clouds in the middle of the night, and shouting in the middle of the night is even more scary.

Love is like a fart! Listen, smell and see.

13, dogs are dogs, but sometimes they are not people.

14. You can see my world, but you can't talk.

15, what I earn is selling cabbage, and what I fuck is selling white powder.

16, you don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

17, not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

18, women's clothes are called capital, and men's clothes are called perverts.

19, don't challenge the technology of high cough with the speed of playing video.

20. Women are kind because they are stupid, and men are stupid because they are kind.

2 1, loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

22, work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and broaden the horizon.

23, tell you not to push me, if you push me, I will play dead for you!

24, a woman kissing a man is a kind of happiness, and a man kissing a woman is a kind of luck.

25. My grandfather has been dead for almost two years. Why am I still like a grandson?

26. Some people are destined to wait for others, while others are destined to be waited for.

27, goods have a shelf life, people are tired of watching. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

28, steamed bread is valuable, steamed buns are more expensive, if there are ribs, you can throw them both.

29. The man that women hate most is Chen Shimei; Man's favorite woman is Pan Jinlian.

30. Chatting is valuable and the internet fee is higher. If you sleep, you can throw them both.

3 1, fashion dad is avant-garde, avant-garde dad is alternative, and alternative dad doesn't matter.

32. Brothers are like brothers and women are like clothes. Anyone who touches my brothers and sisters will strip his clothes!

33. Primary school students are teams; Middle school students are piles; College students are a couple.

34. Life is like a green spider, crawling forward slowly, but shedding bright red blood.

35. You can't believe any story. Look at each other and listen to a few words.

36. The poorest men don't bargain when they buy food, and the richest women bargain when they buy food.

37. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

38, men are used to rely on, so be reliable; Women are meant to love, so be cute.

39. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

40. There should be a better way to start a new day than waking up every morning.

4 1. Even if happiness only reveals a thread, she has the ability to pull it out and knit it into a sweater.

42. Dapeng wandered in the sky after being lovelorn, but he couldn't find a second nest. At first, Pengcheng Wan Li.

43. Different division of labor: before a man goes to work, his wife wears a tie, and before going to bed, his lover unfastens his belt.

44. Where there are plenty of grass in the sea, why do you have a unrequited love for a grass? As long as you look hard, there is always a better one than her.

45. Persistence is a kind of beauty, and persistence is a kind of loyalty; Beauty is not necessarily happiness, and loyalty is not necessarily happiness.

46. It's silly to love only one. Love two is the least, three and five are just right, and ten and eight are handsome.

47. No matter how beautiful a woman is, she will be crushed by men. Even the most handsome man will kneel between her legs.

48. Love that does not feel pain is not true love, and marriage that does not feel happiness must be a sad marriage.

49. My son has to do his homework to 1 1 before going to bed these days. The flowers of the motherland are destroyed like this!

50. Women like to hear men say another woman is ugly. Men like to hear women say that another man is a loser.

5 1, a life without memories is not a perfect life. Just as a woman without children is not a perfect woman.

52. The man who is least afraid of his wife at home dares not contradict his mother-in-law; A woman who fears her husband most at home dares to contradict her mother-in-law.

53. Let them climb the new peak of fashion. Stay here, stare blankly, smile or take a walk.

54. No matter how smart a woman is, she looks confused, and no matter how stupid a man is, she looks sober.

55. Some girls in this world always make people dream, while others, including herself, make people think.

56. In fact, there is no definite pursuit in life, and what you lack most will be what you want most. From this perspective, shameless is glorious.

57. Children have no money to go to school and have money to build temples and worship God; The living have no money for filial piety, and the dead have money for funeral; There is no money in the company account, but the boss has money at home. .

58. Speak well of your boss, speak ill of your subordinates, lie to your wife, lie to your lover, tell jokes to acquaintances and talk nonsense to strangers.

59. The cause belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the achievement belongs to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, the property belongs to the children, and the mistakes are your own.

60. The most embarrassing thing for men is that their wives are drunk and pestering friends. The most embarrassing thing for a woman is that her husband's friend is drunk and pestering herself.

6 1, the attitude towards intellectuals shows the degree of civilization of a nation; The attitude towards workers and peasants is to question the conscience of this nation.

62. Hold the boss's hand and bow. Holding the hand of discipline inspection, shaking all over; Take the financial hand, pull it up and walk to the restaurant.

63. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, the relationship with his mother-in-law is also good; No matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, the relationship with her mother-in-law is also poor.

64. Four flowers in the hospital: queuing for registration, dizziness; The doctor diagnosed that the goddess scattered flowers; Drug charges, looking at flowers in the fog; If it doesn't heal for a long time, the cost of medicine will be wasted.

65. Wear a hat without a brim and pretend to be a chef; Standing on the room to pee, pretending to keep watch; Riding a car and farting, pretending to vent your anger slowly!

66. The more places I have been, the more I feel that the world is very narrow. This is the experience of my life. Listen, but it's nothing new.

67, flat, no temper, sage also; Have a level, a temper, and a sage; No level, no temper, mediocrity; No level, no temper, bad guy.

68. People are really lazy and vulgar animals, but they are cruel and ignorant. Many people know this fact, but we are such animals and such people!

69. You eat like a thief, pretend to be fat, have big ears and strong limbs, carry a pen, can't do accounts, buy a computer, can't surf the Internet, sleep at night, and are allowed to pee in the pit.

70. Ignorance and lack of knowledge are terrible things and situations, which will make people self-righteous and self-conscious, resulting in stupidity and mistakes; What is more frightening is that I know nothing, and I am ignorant.

7 1, with you, I forget all about eating and sleeping, without you, I have nothing to eat and drink, without you, my heart belongs, without you, I wholeheartedly, without your idle and hateful game.

72. Believe a word slowly along the way. Some people in this world are doomed to be lonely. It's not your fault or mine. Who told me that the ratio of men and women who were chopped to pieces was so unbalanced?

73. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man is that he speaks during the day.

74. I can't help thinking about you. I only rely on images to pin my love for you. Don't laugh at my infatuation with you, just because of that wise saying-life is never shit, leave a photo as toilet paper!

75. Occasional forgetfulness does not mean eternity. When busy, a faint yearning lingers in my heart; On the lonely journey, please accept my sincere care and sincere blessing; Miss you, invite me to dinner!

76. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

77, paratroopers practice skydiving, the coach told me to jump out of the plane and count to 10 to open the umbrella immediately. According to the test results, Dean fell and was injured. The coach called him an idiot, and a soldier said, Coach, Dean stuttered!

78. Pig Bajie wanted to peek while taking a bath in the Seven Fairy Lake, but he was afraid that the Monkey King would pull his ear when he found out, so he pretended to peek at the Seven Fairy while reading the news. Look, look, he's pretending!

Boss: Hello, comrades! Employee: The boss is the best! Boss: Comrades have worked hard! Employee: The boss is the hardest! Boss: It's sunny this summer, and all the comrades are tanned! Employee: The boss is the blackest!

80. Without Pangu's creation, the evolution of apes is hopeless; Without Oracle bones as letterhead, history would be lifeless; Without Daiyu and Baoyu, how could the Red Mansion be circulated for a hundred years? I didn't send you a message. Who knew pigs could read mobile phones?

8 1, it takes one day for sunrise and sunset, one month for the full moon, one season in bloom, one year for the four seasons, and a lifetime for loving someone. Caring for a person is a word: it's cold, don't forget to put more grass in the nest!

82. You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world to find the other half. I finally found you with great pains, only to find that our wings are smooth.

83. When you were a child, your idea was simple. You ate, slept and ate. When I grow up, my mind is still very simple, just sleeping and eating. I wish you Bajie, eat well, sleep well, have a good dream and have a round stomach!

84. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you far away. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

85. I want to send you some clothes. You are in poor health. I want to send you a drink, and your daughter-in-law nags; Want to give you sugar, your blood sugar rises; I want to send you RMB, but I am not rich myself; I can only send you text messages, but unfortunately your culture is not high enough to understand!

86. I was told that it is the noblest thing to send text messages to the most talented, healthy, honest and kind people; On second thought, I think this person must be yours! If you feel the same way, please give me one!

87. A man entrusts his girlfriend to his buddy for care, and finally his girlfriend becomes his wife, and the buddy takes care of him; A woman entrusted her boyfriend to her sisters for care, and as a result, her sisters became her boyfriend's wife and could not be her.

88. One monk carries water and two monks carry water. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone.

89. The most romantic thing is to walk slowly with you and watch the octogenarian gently accompany his grandmother on the roadside. The happiest thing is to walk slowly with you and watch your cheerful gait. This is my enjoyment! Run away again, my pet dog!

Words that tease men _ words that tease girls

Selected words to tease men:

1, I want to bite you, but unfortunately I am a Muslim.

2. I really want to put my size 4 1 shoes on your size 42 face at once.

On the morning of April Fool's Day, you wake up to find a flea lying on the pillow and a suicide note that says: I struggled all night, but I couldn't chew your face. You are so thick-skinned, I have no face to live! Hahaha!

4. What happened today, son? Did you take the wrong medicine when you went out? Or did you forget to take your medicine?

I dare not say I love you. I'm afraid I will die soon. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid no one will love you like me!

6. The world is bigger than what you lack.

7, the sky is high, the clouds know, the water is deep, the fish knows, the flowers smell, clearly understand, your IQ, I know, April Fool's Day is tailor-made for you, hehe, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

8. How far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light

9. It is God's creativity that created you and your courage to live in this world.

10, I said that I went to buy chicken today, but my daughter-in-law didn't agree. My father bought chicken to play, but my mother just wouldn't let go, so I let the silly cry and shout, and I took off my socks and threw them on the ground, telling you to fool again! Read the second word of each sentence to understand the truth. April Fools' Day

Music!

1 1, it is better to fall in love than to study outside the classroom. The teacher asked him why? For future generations.

12, once you go out, there are no birds in the mountains and no footprints in the roads.

13, you accidentally crossed to the Song Dynasty, and your martial arts are very powerful. Huashan's sword theory proves that your martial arts have surpassed the ashes of time, surpassing the southern emperor and the northern beggar. Everyone thinks you must be Dong Fangbubai, but in fact they don't know where you are from. maybe

I was carefree, but I didn't expect to shout, which made your dream difficult: Bajie, you are hiding from sleeping and not going to explore the mountains again.

14, are you drunk by Sanlu?

15 which school did you graduate from? Your annoying degree has been completed as a postdoctoral fellow! !

16. You waste air when you are alive, land when you are dead, and RMB when you are half dead.

17, really cute, dragging the Internet.

18, your teeth are like stars in the sky, brightly colored and far apart.

19, your life, summed up in eight words, is absurd and timid.

20. Were you thrown at birth 100 times and only caught twice?

2 1. I have always wanted to write a poem, but only two people in the world know it. Now I'm laughing and a fool is watching.

22. aim at simplicity and avoid abstruse; Grasp honesty and be wary of cunning; Keep an eye on the lonely and pay attention to the gang; It's a pity that silly makes you smile. April Fool's Day, it is everyone's responsibility to be funny!

23. I can take good care of myself without you! You can torture yourself slowly without me!

24. Lyu3 bu4 fell in love with Zhu Yingtai, lost Sim and set foot on Liangshan White, and happily hijacked the lonely bird. Among my friends, I am the best. Bless me to find the bird, just to make you feel good. Take a deep breath. Happy April Fool's Day is a must. Happy April Fool's Day.

25, the wife is valuable, and the son is more expensive; If you are lovers, you can throw them both.

26. The boss will give you a salary increase of 2000 yuan, and inform the finance department to do it immediately. Come to the company to withdraw money at eight o'clock in the evening, and deduct the money according to absenteeism after the expiration. I still see nothing bothering you.

27. Look at your ranking and you will know how many people are in your class.

28. Gome, Gome, fish sink, geese fall, flowers are harvested, flowers are beautiful, and colors and arts are all good. Don't be ashamed to admit it, I know that my image in your mind must be like this!

29. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chicks all day. Chickens are mentally ill. They don't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry and hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens are secretly looking at their mobile phones.

30. Dude, your Jiangnan style is very good and enjoyable, but don't shake your head too much. It's all water. I'm afraid you can't control the water and burst your bank.

3 1, Yimei in the mountains, who do you love? I want to get along with you, and no one can stop me. I turn yellow as soon as I go to bed. I'm crazy. I will do it when it is yellow. I'm so cool.

32. Baby, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I am a jackal chasing on the ground. I won't hit you or scold you. I torture you with my feelings.

33,4.1April Fool's Day is coming. I know this is your favorite holiday, but don't be silly and happy. If you ignore me, I will become a dog!

34. The first rule of the model husband's complete manual: The wife is always right. Article 2: If the wife is wrong, please refer to Article 1.

Teasing girls' selected words:

1. If you knew who you finally married, would you sleep with someone else?

I don't want to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday. I think I'll continue to eat porridge.

I was also the seed of infatuation, and it rained and drowned.

4. Old advice: Daughter, you have to eat a little properly to lose weight.

5, although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

6, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.

7. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

8. What is love? Love is not sleeping well; What is an official? Officials don't behave themselves.

9. 1950s: Workers everywhere are big brothers, and girls have nothing to say when they marry you; 60' s: My relatives are the People's Liberation Army, and I met them very close. Post-80s: Who are the contemporary college students? Determined to spend a lifetime with you; After 90: Rich and rich, I love you, and the age gap doesn't matter; New century: the conditions don't need to be explained clearly. See you at dawn anyway.

10, what is a friend of the opposite sex: I dare not say what I want to say or do what I want to do; What is a confidante: I dare not do what I want to say and do; What is a lover: nothing to say, nothing to do; What is a wife? I'm too lazy to talk or do anything.

A teasing remark

1, Top Secret Document of the 16th National Congress: In order to improve the national quality, the State Council decided to sweep away a group of ugly and incompetent youths. You should pack your things and go out to take refuge at once. Don't thank me. Let's go! Be safe!

2. As the saying goes, a drop of water is rewarded by a spring. What a noble and poetic sentence this is! But most people just want to be that drop of water, and few people want to be that spewing spring. This is the hypocrisy of China culture. Just like: we praise what no one wants to do, and we condemn what we yearn for. For example, people who scold the rich second generation wish they were the rich second generation, even if they were wild!

Don't let wealth tempt you, and let wealth yield to you. Don't let jealousy destroy you, only when jealousy destroys you. Don't let others' success torture you, let others' success inspire you.

4, the story will be told by everyone, whether it will happen or not is another matter! Everyone can do tricks, and whether they can be poked or not varies from person to person!

5. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes keep staring at me, and I really can't refuse you-"Be a good dog and take you for a walk".

6. The two concepts of "level", the former is related to economy, and the latter is related to human history. Facing them, we should learn to appreciate and give up the imposed and ignorant criticism.

7. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you'll be fine, right and innocent. I really envy you!

8. Big stage! You think I came here for nothing (ah, I didn't stop)!

9. I don't know who came up with a sentence: Ah, don't let the children lose at the starting line! Bah! (shaking his head)

10, the advertisement came in. I show it to you every day, but I can't buy it.

1 1, remember! Marriage is a set meal, we should eat it together, marriage is money, and we should go together.

12, I met God that day, and he said he would grant me a wish. I said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult. I took out your photo, hoping that he would make you more beautiful. God took your photo and said, "Take the globe, and I'll have another look."

13. In ancient times, women were afraid of setting off fireworks because they were afraid of becoming "fireworks women"

14, hybrids must be mixed as far away as possible if they want to be beautiful.

15, it is said that barefoot people are not afraid to wear shoes! This sentence is harmful! Think about it: If the wearer becomes barefoot, what will it be like?

16, a cricket bet a pig that I jumped into the grass and you couldn't see me. The pig said, I want to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, and the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching?

17, on behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, I strongly protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China left after you wet your bed last night? ! ! Remember to make it up tonight.

18, a fly mother and son are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "Mom, why do we eat shit every day?" Mother said, "Don't say such disgusting things when eating, eat while it's hot!" " "

19, many Beijingers like me and want to invite me to perform in Beijing, but I won't go. I said that if you like me, you can fly to Shanghai to see me, which will also boost Shanghai's GDp.

20. What is the relationship between low-key and honesty? What's the relationship between keeping a low profile and being out of tune? We are all singers of fate. Which note the baton of fate points to, we must sing it correctly! The high notes are loud and the low notes are soft. The low is high, the string is broken, the high is low, and the tune is gone. Low-key is not out of tune, the correct tone is the tone.

2 1, friendship is full of meaning to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump from a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation: "Wow, it's strange not to die!" "

22. Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you … so … I will be a cow and a horse in my next life … I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat …

23. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you far away. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

24. You took the pig shopping, and it was very happy. I said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and you will know who he is with." Before I finished, I watched the pig abandon you with disdain!

25. Later, I learned that the model was hungry when cutting, good when cutting, and good when sleepy. If the brain is sleepy, it is very hungry! (I learned later that models can't be found casually. If they can't find it well, their brains will be broken when they wake up! )

26. According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads use thumb buttons to read short messages! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late, pig!

27. There is no concept of divorce in the mountains. People think that they are born with cakes and fritters.

28, and we Shanghainese commit iniquity, you check three generations, none of them are Shanghainese!

Northerners don't like Shanghainese in Alari very much. Strangely, Allah didn't offend them.

To be friends with a person, we should not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called-lack of happiness (fool).

3 1, starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to get rid of all ugly mentally retarded young people who are detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

32. Since I met you, you should know your place in my heart. Everyone except you is a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you are ... two piles of shit.

33. One monk should carry water to drink, and two monks should carry water to drink. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone. The more poisonous he is, the better.

34. You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world to find the other half, and I finally found you. Only to find that our wings are smooth!