A: How are you all tonight? (Very painful, very helpless to say hello, waiting for the audience to respond)
But my life is not very good!
B: Hey! People are really tired when they are alive. I want to sleep when I stand, and I have to wait in line when I go to the canteen. Eating is tasteless and studying is very tiring!
Why? Four or six! I won't talk to you. I'm going to recite English words in the Woods in front of the comprehensive building.
Bye-bye！ (Looking back at the audience) I don't want to be a third wheel yet! Come on, back it here!
A: (sitting on the ground reciting words)
Life is so hard. When I see English, I feel bored. It's nonsense to say that I don't want to take the exam again. Leave me (wrench index is 7)
There are 32 days left in the seventh make-up exam.
A: Fuck (read the second sound)? Can't you see I'm reciting words here? What's that noise?
Oh, sorry. I also want to recite words here for a while.
A: What? You recite it here, too? Here? (pointing to the ground) Right here?
Yes, here it is. Although the ground is a little dirty, I'll make do with it. (Retract A's finger)
Are you going to make do with it? I'm sorry, I will solemnly and solemnly announce to you that I have occupied this seat.
Yes
B: Is anyone here? How to occupy?
A: It seems that if you don't see the Yellow River, you won't die, and you won't cry if you don't see the coffin. (Pick up a piece of "soul mate" brand toilet paper from the ground)
See? A piece of toilet paper, the sign of "soul mate" smells like a thief!
B: This-this-this will do!
A: It's all in universities. The schoolbag has no cushion, and the cushion has no business card. Really no, toilet paper.
All over the body. Everyone on earth knows that. (Yes, B) All I need is you.
B: ok, ok, you can do it! I'm from Mars, okay?
A: Not like (see B) Saturn.
Brother, let's recite the words.
Why are you in such a hurry? Have you made up the exam four or five times?
B: (holding A's hand) bosom friend! I made up the exam six times.
A: Let go (shaking A's hand) Who is your confidant! I only made up the exam four times!
B: well, my girlfriend and I are both yellow because of these four levels.
A: Ah! The chain reaction is so big (try to squeeze tears, dip your eyes with saliva, play the role of tears, and sympathize with brother 0.
Children share it with you!
B: I don't want to talk about it.
A: Say it!
B: I won't! (coy)
A: Say it. Can everyone share it with you? So as not to get upset, don't you think? (
Raise the voice)
B: Hey! (Bowing his head into endless memories of the past) It was a sunny night in a month.
A: (Open your hands) Romantic!
B: I took her hand and put it in my palm (holding A's hand). I know she is not angry with me at all (imitation)
"Impulsive punishment" tone)
A: It's not dark yet! (imitating b's girlfriend)
No one has seen us.
A: Bah! (pats B on the shoulder)
B: Xiaoli! What exactly do you like about me?
A: I won't tell you!
B: I am not handsome!
A: I don't care!
B: I have no money!
I just need you.
I still have many bad habits. I like smoking and drinking.
A: What man doesn't have cigarettes and drinks?
B: I can be a hooligan, too!
You are so annoying! Men are not bad, women don't love them!
B: I haven't passed Band 4 yet!
A: Rabbits still have time to pick up girls! Don't pee and take pictures!
B: That's it.
It's yellow, ripe and ready to eat. Seriously, I'm not much better than you!
Maybe you have your own difficulties.
A: Well, I took the No.225 bus that time.
Go to Hao San Street. It is always crowded.
A: By the way, people are almost crowded into the photo. On this crowded bus, I was swaying.
Unexpectedly-
I killed him.
A: Why can't you say a good word? Who killed your partner! I stepped on the foot of the man behind me. I turned around.
At first glance, it turned out to be a burly man with yellow hair, blue eyes and white skin-
B: Come on, foreigner!
A: I look like a foreigner, so we can't be rude, so I show a charming smile unique to boys: I'm sorry!
Oh, I'm sorry too!
A: I thought to myself: Ah, sorry two, oh, sorry three, a foreigner.
Why are you apologizing?
A: ouch! The foreigner refused to give in. He's already sorry No, I studied for at least seven or eight years.
Dumb English, I quickly said oh oh oh, sorry five!
Excuse me, five o'clock? Ha! Ha! Ha!
How dare this foreigner make fun of me? I am so angry! I will give you some color to see see!
B: (imitating foreign accent) What? You must give me some color to see see!
A: As soon as I heard it, it hurt my self-esteem, so I made up my mind to do this broken English well and make a new era.
A promising young man (posing)
B: Yes! Let's study English well, learn when there are difficulties, and create when there are no difficulties.
A: Then The New York Times will look backwards.
Broadway is everywhere.
Watch all the Hollywood blockbusters.
B: Chinese and English are casual.
A: Make great contributions to society.
B: The wish to find a girlfriend must come true first!
A: As long as you learn English well, you are not afraid that your girlfriend will run away with others. In the future, if you work to earn dollars, you will be excellent in Band 4.
B: Don't say anything, just recite the words here!
Let's go home, there are still programs waiting in line!
B: Then let's go! (holding A's hand)
The second: the mother who is a nanny.
Time: Contemporary weekend afternoon.
Venue: Dai Hongjia living room.
Character: Dai Hong: Male middle school student, well-off, busy parents, daily life is taken care of by nanny.
Zhijian: Dai Hong's classmate lives in the countryside, his father is ill at home, and his mother works as a nanny at Dai Hong's house.
Aunt Lan: Zhijian's mother, a rural woman, went out to work as a nanny at Dai Hong's house because her husband was paralyzed at home and her son was in urgent need of money to study.
Scene: There are computer desks and bookcases on the right front of the stage, dining tables and chairs in the stage, and single person sofa on the left rear of the stage.
[Curtain Rev.: Zhijian is on Dai Hong who has a back injury to his right foot. Sweating profusely, he gently put Dai Hong on the sofa. He was very concerned and said to Dai Hong.
Zhijian: How's it going? Does it still hurt? Shall I put a hot towel on you? (talking while sweating, gasping intermittently)
Dai Hong: Nothing, nothing! Look, I'll be fine as soon as I get home. When I saw my precious computer, my feet didn't hurt at all! Come on, Zhijian, I'll teach you to play games online. (Get up and pull Zhijian to the computer desk)
Zhijian: Don't, don't, don't, be careful of the injury on your foot! (Hurry to help Dai Hong)
Dai Hong: Hehe, don't worry, my foot is not hurt at all!
Zhijian: You are lying! ? (Take a step back)
Dai Hong: Well ... yes, but not all right!
Zhijian: you ... What the hell are you doing?
Dai Hong: Don't be angry. I'll tell you the truth. I pretended to have a foot injury today and didn't go to school to organize a spring outing to the suburban zoo. It's true. I lied to you, too.
Zhijian: Stop it!
Dai Hong: Zhijian, you know, I am a super invincible online game fan. As soon as I sit at this computer desk, I turn on the computer and look at the screen. Haha, the world will be ruled by me ...!
Zhijian: The computer is at your home. You can play online at night when you come back from a spring outing!
Dai Hong: Absolutely not. You don't know. My parents wouldn't let me play, saying it would delay my study.
Zhijian: Yes! There is something wrong with your academic performance in class.
Dai Hong: What are you afraid of? Do you know how many levels of legends I have played online? It is thirty-eight. I'm two grades short of 40 points, okay?
Zhijian: What, you don't do your homework? Don't review your lessons
Dai Hong: Hey! Why are you in tune with your parents!
Zhijian: Is this wrong?
Dai Hong: No, no, no! If my parents are at home, I can't surf the Internet and play games.
Zhijian: Isn't this better?
Dai Hong: You, you ...! How can I put it? Do you know how much money I invested in Legend in order to get to level 38? More than 1000 yuan!
Zhijian: Does it cost so much to play games online? Don't lie!
Dai Hong: What weapons and equipment can I buy without spending money? Do you want the money for the verdict? One of the best equipment is only a few hundred dollars!
Zhijian: This ...! What are the benefits of playing at level 40?
Dai Hong: Fool, then I can earn a lot of money and buy new equipment. Haha, I'm rich!
Zhijian: Well … I really don't understand …? !
Dai Hong: What don't you understand? You get good grades in class, and you don't play video games. You begin to review the questions. You are a problem master. But playing games on the computer! I can also be said to be an isolated overlord.
Zhijian: Yes, yes, yes! You are a bully! You won't be the overlord when your parents come back.
Dai Hong: Why not mention which pot? However, today you are wrong. My parents won't come back today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. They are on a business trip, and I can be a legend at home, and no one can care! Three days and three nights guarantee to go up a storey still higher. I have a lot of money in my vault, from Red Moon to Cang Yue!
Zhijian: Forget it, I won't bother you! I'm leaving.
Dai Hong: Zhijian, don't go. You helped me a lot today. How can I let you go? Eat here and I'll teach you to play games online.
Zhijian: Thank you. I have to go. (getting up to go)
Dai Hong: Don't go!
Zhijian: What?
Dai Hong: You are going to betray me.
Zhijian: No.
Dai Hong: Then don't go. Really, I mean well. You see, I tricked your teachers and classmates into not going for a spring outing. Pretending to hurt your foot, you offered to give up playing in the zoo and carry me home. I fooled you. You are so tired that you are sweating all over. Is it still a spirit for me to let you go alone now? Zhijian, my good classmate, I will never forget your benefits.
Zhijian: Dai Hong, don't say that! I also have difficulties! Today, the school went to the suburban zoo for a spring outing. I really want to go, because I have never been there since I was a child and have been living in a mountainous rural area. But I have to pay a full 20 yuan for the spring outing, which is my living expenses for half a month. I really want to play with my teachers and classmates. I can't help it I am poor! Just when I was in a dilemma, I said no. You saved my life. Your foot is hurt, so you can't go. I quickly seized the opportunity to take you home. I pretended to be Lei Feng for that twenty dollars! Dai Hong, I lied, too, and I lied to my teachers and classmates! If I betray you, I betray myself!
Dai Hong: No! Zhijian, you are in trouble. I am lying!
Zhijian: It's all the same anyway.
Dai Hong: No, just different! Although I'm not sure, I will be your classmate and friend for life!
Zhijian: Thank you!
Dai Hong: Then don't go and eat here.
Zhijian: Good! Do you want me to help you cook?
Dai Hong: No, we have a nanny who was specially invited by my parents for me. She may go shopping now. We'll go later.
Zhijian: (Looking around admiringly at this moment) Dai Hong, your home is really spacious and magnificent.
Dai Hong: This is my parents' bedroom and study. That's my room, and this is my special computer and small study room for me to study alone. Dining here, there is a big living room in front. How's it going? Not bad!
Zhijian: (seeing what comes to mind at the shoe changing place in front of the door) Dai Hong, let me change my shoes!
Dai Hong: No, not today. There's a nanny anyway. If it gets dirty, it will be cleaned. Don't worry. Come on, let's turn on the computer and play games! (Lan Zhijian walks to the computer desk)
Zhijian: I can't play alone.
Dai Hong: Never mind. I'll teach you. Let's start at the elementary level.
Zhijian: No, our family can't afford a computer, and we can't afford to go to an Internet cafe. Forget it. You hit, attack your "Legend" level 40!
Dai Hong: What? Not enough friends!
Zhijian: OK, I'll read it.
Dai Hong: Reading! That's enough. Look here, on my bookcase, there are all kinds of math, physics, chemistry, English, review reference books and previous exam outlines.
Zhijian: Have you seen it?
Dai Hong: Why do you watch so much? It's fun (referring to computers). Zhijian, I haven't seen enough classes at school.
Zhijian: This information is great. Did your parents buy it for you?
Dai Hong: Of course!
Zhijian: Then why is your academic record so poor?
Dai Hong: This is to blame. (of a computer)
Dai Hong: Stop. Don't say that. Look at that. (Take Zhijian to my parents' bookcase and show him the knot) There are several bookcases in this room, all bought by my mother. You can have a look.
[Zhijian walks forward and virtually looks at the big bookcase in front of him to browse the bibliography]
Zhijian: There are so many world famous works ... Romance of the Three Kingdoms, A Dream of Red Mansions, Lu Xun, Family Spring and Autumn Annals, Guo Moruo, Lao She, Thunderstorm, Qian Zhongshu, Besieged City, Birth of Tragedy and Wen Xin Diao Long! (loudly) Dai Hong, your boy is really blessed. There are so many books in your house!
Dai Hong: What? Blessed, you see, those books are newer than those of Xinhua Bookstore, but I haven't read them. That pile of things is not as exciting as computer games. To tell the truth, in study, you are the first positive number, and I am the last one; Playing games, in our school, I was defeated in despair and couldn't find my opponent!
Zhijian: Dai Hong, I advise you to hurry up and study hard. I can't support myself by playing games in the future!
[Zhijian say that finish, completely immersed in books.
Dai Hong: I didn't think so much. Who cares? Let's play the game first, Legend, and wait until level 40! Zhijian, take your favorite book to my parents' study. It's quiet there. As for me, I'd better go and play!
[Dai Hongjiang pushes Zhijian into the study, and Zhijian obediently enters the room.
Dai Hong: Hey, why hasn't Aunt Lan come back yet? It takes so long to buy food! Oh, I'm starving. Really (continue to play the game)
[Aunt Lan goes out through the door on the left side of the stage. She was tired and slow with a big bag of heavy vegetables in each hand. Put the food on the dining table, then sit in the chair and beat your legs and waist. I looked up and saw that Dai Hong had gone home, playing games on the computer and pouring Dai Hong a cup of tea.
Aunt Lan: Dai Hong, why did you come back so early today? Come on! Have a glass of water first.
Dai Hong: Aunt Lan, I didn't go to the school spring outing. Aunt Lan, go and cook. I'm starving. Hey, I want to cook for one more person today. My good classmates will go home and play and read in my mother's study. Aunt Lan, cook more dishes, and I will treat him well!
Aunt Lan: Dai Hong, why don't you read and study with your classmates and just play alone? Later, when your father comes back and sees you playing games, he will beat you up again like last Monday. Aunt Lan can't persuade you again, and your father will hit you again with anger!
[Dai Hong stops and turns around.
Dai Hong: Aunt Lan, I said, you are only the guarantor of our family! Why are you a teacher who teaches me? Aunt Lan, I'm hungry. Go and cook.
[Aunt Lan paused, went to the table and picked up the food, and took it to the kitchen to do it.
[Dai Hong looked at LanYi slightly tired to the kitchen and asked with concern.
Dai Hong: Aunt Lan, what's the matter? Are you sick?
Aunt Lan: Nothing, nothing! (Aunt Lan)
Dai Hong: My parents somehow found a nanny to take care of me. You see, she is very ill and likes to meddle. Hum! My parents can't control me. What are you?
[Zhijian came out of the study with a thick book and recited it attentively while walking ...!
[Dai Hong sees Zhijian reading so intently, and says to Zhijian with a loud laugh.
Dai Hong: Zhijian! Zhijian! I said, you are such a nerd. Are these books so interesting? Look at you, it seems that there is nothing but books! No wonder you are the number one bully in our class!
[XiJian smiled.
Zhijian: The book has its own golden house, and the book has its own Yan Ruyu. You have too many books here, which is good. It's just a small library. Can you lend me some later?
Dai Hong: No problem. You can borrow as much as you want. Want to eat? Me too. The nanny at home is too slow.
Zhijian: I'm not hungry. I will read for a while. Hey, look at this paragraph, isn't it interesting?
Dai Hong: (picks up the book and looks at it ...) It's boring. I'd better play my game. (chanting while playing) Life is precious, but love is more expensive; If it's a game, you can throw both!
[Zhijian looked at him, smiled and read by himself.
[Small lay, aunt wearing an apron, out of the kitchen, put two chopsticks on the table, and returned to the body.
Dai Hong: It's time for dinner. Topic bully, nerd, come out for dinner!
[Dai Gong said, went into the study to pull Zhijian out and sat at the table. Dai Hong picked up chopsticks and banged heavily, waiting for vegetable rice to be served. Zhijian saw it, got up and went to the kitchen to help, and Dai Hong grabbed him.
Dai Hong: Sit down, don't go! These nannies can do well, otherwise why pay her to come?
[Aunt Lan came up with two dishes and said as she walked.
Aunt Lan: Dai Hong, I made you your favorite bitter gourd fried eggs, fried meat with raw salt. You must be hungry. Eat quickly.
When Aunt Lan spoke, Zhijian's face changed greatly, and she was completely shocked!
【 Aunt Lan froze at the sight of Zhijian! I was about to shout out, as if I thought of something. I retracted my hand to cover my mouth, turned around and quickly left the table, subconsciously mopping the floor with a mop.
[Dai Hong didn't notice the expression on their faces, and took up the job.
Dai Hong: Zhijian, what are you still doing? Eat, forget it, eat quickly, I'm starving.
[Zhijian looked nervous, but immediately turned it around. At the invitation of his classmates, he tried to smile and took up his job to eat. Looking at Aunt Lan's busy appearance, Zhijian seems to be no white flag above my door.
Zhijian: Dai Hong, Lan ... Won't she eat with us?
Dai Hong: She never eats with our family. She eats after we finish eating.
[modest frowning, very not easy to put down.
[Dai Honggang ate a mouthful of food, looked at another dish, looked up and saw Zhijian, paused, and said with a frown;
Dai Hong: Aunt Lan, this is fried meat with salt. So fat, this bitter gourd is so salty. How can I eat it?
【 Aunt Lan came to put down the mop and picked up the food.
Aunt Lan: Really? Aunt Lan, you are hungry. You are doing it too fast. Sorry, I'll do it again right away.
Dai Hong: One more time? I started to be hungry half an hour ago, so I have to wait a few more minutes!
[Aunt Lan is embarrassed, holding a plate, not letting go, not leaving.
Dai Hong: Aunt Lan, how did you become a nanny? You can't cook this dish well, and there are my classmates today! You, Ian ... LAN ... Ahem!
Zhijian: Stop it, Dai Hong.
[Zhijian suddenly stood up and interrupted Dai Hong, turning his head to Lan Yi.
Zhijian: Mom, why are you here as a nanny?
[Dai Hong pointed to the appearance of two people suddenly enlighted, LanYi sitting on the sofa trance, Chi Jian's face was full of sadness. The atmosphere was awkward for a while and everyone was silent for a long time. Zhijian choked up and spoke.
Zhijian: Mom, you have worked hard, and you are suffering! You have rheumatism, why don't you have a good rest! It's been raining repeatedly these days, and it hurts all the time not to work at home. Mom, why don't you rest for a few more days! ?
Aunt Lan: Nothing, son. It's an old habit If I don't come to work for a few days because of rheumatism, their family may have to hire another nanny. Then where can I find a job? Mom found a job next to your school, searched in the city for several days, and found a good nanny job. You need money to study, and your father needs money to treat diseases. Mom has no education and knowledge, and there is really nothing she can do. Jianzi, mom is sorry to embarrass you in front of your classmates. Don't blame mom. Mom!
[Aunt Lan sobbed ... Chi Jian couldn't help crying and looked very excited.
Zhijian: No, Mom, stop. You didn't embarrass me. You are the greatest mother in my heart! Dad has been paralyzed for so many years. Although his mother takes care of him, you do all the farm work at home by yourself. I also want to find a way to make money to buy medicine for my father and send me to school. But my health is not good! I remember that on the night of sowing last spring, it suddenly rained heavily. In order to prevent the rice seeds from being washed away by the rain, you went to the rice field to cover the agricultural film alone, got caught in the cold rain for several hours, and got sick as soon as you got home. In order to save money for my father and me, you just didn't take medicine and burned in bed for a few days before you survived. I am so scared! Mom, can I find a great mother like you in this world? Mom, whatever you do, I'm proud of you. Besides, it's not awkward to be a nanny. Please don't blame yourself. If you blame yourself again, you have no idea how sad your son will be. Mom, this is the hardest time for our family. With the efforts of our whole family, we will definitely tide over the difficulties.
[Dai Hong has burst into tears. Aunt Lan wiped her tears and nodded her head.
Aunt Lan: Jianzi, mom doesn't know the truth, but I understand that everything is on her own. Although my mother is very difficult, she lives happily and doesn't feel that she lacks anything. You too!
[Dai Hong think, mumbling. Aunt Lan turned to Dai Hong.
Aunt Lan: Dai Hong, you see, I didn't study or get an education in the past. Now I can only be a nanny in your home, and the children have no good conditions to study. It's time for you to stop playing games, or you'll have a job like me, and no one wants it, so you can only work as a nanny in someone else's house. I think you should take the time to review your lessons and read more books.
Zhijian: Dai Hong, my mother is right. Yes, if you just play games and surf the Internet, you can get into college, get a job, earn money to buy a car and a house. What kind of "legend" and "rule" do you rely on? Do you want to go to space, to the deep sea? That requires real talent and practical learning, and you can't learn it by playing games in internet cafes.
Dai Hong: Boss, you have to give me a promotion. Let's go and read the article you just showed me!
Zhijian: Good! Let's go
[Dai Hong took Zhijian's hand to the right side of the study. Aunt Lan looked at the two children and shook her head and smiled. She lowered her head and glanced at the food on the table. She picked up a basin in her left hand and waved it to the study in her right hand.
Aunt Lan: Son, we haven't eaten yet!
[Three people hand in hand curtain call.
The end of the sketch—