Lovelorn, how did you get out of the shadow of lovelorn? For breaking up, I absolutely feel that this process is like riding a roller coaster. She wants to use her own story to tell everyone how to help her get out of the shadow of lovelorn after breaking up. Compared with many people who lead a drunken life, they are absolutely at a loss, just like the planned life trajectory, and suddenly they get out of control unexpectedly, so that they don't know which direction to go. This love is the first true love that has never walked out of Origin and Destiny. It is a lie to say that she is not sad from the expected devotion to failure. After breaking up, she seems to lose all the motivation and fun of life every day. Every night, she was shocked by nightmares and sat up and cried. In a daze during the day, the body has no strength. All her friends advised her that no one can be happy for a long time in the first love, and there will be better people in the future. They all let her out, but no one told her what to do. Drinking, singing, crying, every time I give up, I am left with a hole in my soul. 1, one of the ways to get out of the shadow of lovelorn love-accept drinking, singing and crying frankly ... This is a state after many people are lovelorn. They think it's normal for me to be lovelorn because I can't control my emotions. In the end, how much persistence was defeated by an indulgence. Once you don't persist, you will habitually escape and deceive yourself to find comfort from the illusory world to spend this precious and wasted time. Just like a girl, at the beginning, in order to become beautiful, slim down and beautify, no matter how late or tired, she will wear a mask to run. However, after being lovelorn, she was overeating, out of shape, self-destructive, haggard, and completely in love with two people. Now she has no perseverance to insist on beauty. She said, that's it, nobody loves it anyway. We have all been lovelorn. It is almost impossible to accept the result of failure in a short time, bid farewell to the past and turn around and move on. But being lovelorn, denying your own value and unwilling to run your own business will only make your future life more and more difficult. Believe that life will treat you as you treat it. Life can tolerate your indulgence for a while, but not for a lifetime. Besides, lovelorn love can heal itself. 2, one of the ways to get out of the shadow of lovelorn-it is very important to accompany the family's support and understanding, and being a companion is often more effective than the requester. Sometimes, when we see people who are lovelorn and give up on themselves, we feel very sad. We accidentally cheer her up with a reproachful tone, but in the end, they all fail to meet our expectations. Because in this process, we don't understand her and deprive her of the power of suffering. Wan Wan has a sister. In the face of graceful overeating, she didn't use moral constraints to ask her to worry about the feelings of her loved ones when she was sad, because she knew it was a kind of compulsion, which would make the lovelorn people feel even worse. So in the whole process of lovelorn indulgence, she accompanied Wan Wan. She pours wine when she drinks, pays the bill when she overeats, and orders songs when she sings. If the lovelorn person is a person, she will punish herself without restraint, but with someone around her, she will feel guilty about the other person, thus slowly ending her behavior. Many times, lovelorn people give up because they feel abandoned by the whole world. It doesn't matter whether they are good or not. But if someone can accompany her, she will personally feel that there are people in this world who love and care about themselves. Peer plays a substitute role in this process, avoiding letting lovelorn people completely deny themselves. 3, one of the ways to get out of the shadow of lovelorn-accepting yourself and breaking up with your ex-boyfriend is put forward after repeated quarrels and exhaustion. When she calmed down and recalled the process of breaking up, she found out that she had quarreled first. This discovery made her unconsciously blame herself for breaking up: perhaps because I asked too much, I wanted him to go out to make money and wanted his company. Maybe I'm too emotional, always rain or shine. Maybe it's because I'm too headstrong to run a relationship. She doesn't understand that feelings belong to two people. When a person takes on too many mistakes, he will be anxious and walk into a dead end of self-denial. So in the face of such chaotic emotions, the first thing to do is to sort out the whole feelings, because at this time you will find that everyone will have emotions, and people can't always be a perfect lover and never make mistakes. Since two people broke up, it must be because of two people. For example, one weekend, never let your boyfriend put down the game and go shopping with her. As a result, they quarreled. But Wan Wan will make such a tough request, mainly because he often uses busyness as an excuse, and she just caught him hiding at home playing games. So I am often emotional, and it is also because the other party has done something wrong, which always makes me angry. Only in this way can we face up to our mistakes in this relationship and accept ourselves instead of blaming ourselves and hating ourselves. A complete person must have both shortcomings and advantages. If you can't even accept your shortcomings, you will only regret and blame yourself and fall into inferiority. Of course, these are only for those girls who take all their faults on themselves, not those "girlish" princesses who always think they can't be wrong. 4, one of the ways to get out of the shadow of lovelorn-sorting out feelings seems to be that two people are still sweet talking a moment ago. At this moment, they are all fighting for each other. Wan Wan broke up before she could sort out her feelings. Such a change caught her off guard, followed by panic and pain of loss. Therefore, if you want to get out of a breakup, you need to learn to sort out your feelings and put them away before you can let them go. Try to write down the process of two people getting along or talking with friends, and vent all the beautiful, dull, angry and sad things. If you don't make it clear at one time, you can repeat it several times to make the context of this relationship clear, and the whole person will not be so chaotic. In addition to feelings, there are many items related to this relationship in the room. If you are in a place full of his memories, you will only be suffocated by them. Because you are lovelorn, you remember the other person's good, and you will feel that you have missed it. The most painful thing is to want it but not get it. Only by sorting out everything in the room, throwing away what should be thrown away and sending something valuable back to him, can you put it down slowly. Just like a saying circulating on the Internet, "After breaking up, let's delete each other." In the process of sorting out, time goes back to the past. You can cry, make trouble and regret. You can vent all your emotions and let yourself really face this failed relationship, instead of always letting yourself fall into a lovelorn state and putting all your memories in a corner of your heart, even afraid to touch them. Only by breaking up can we gain the courage to go out again. Of course, if you really don't want to give up and haven't made a final effort for this relationship, you can try to put down your pride to save him. Even if you fail, you can make yourself responsible for this relationship without any regrets. After all, you have loved with all your heart. 5. One of the ways to get out of the shadow of lovelorn-find yourself. After handling these emotions gracefully, a person goes out to travel, re-enters the society and finds himself. Many lovelorn people have gone into a misunderstanding: when they haven't sorted out their emotions, they will travel for fun, but they are in a heavy mood, and no matter where they go, they are still lovelorn. Only when you find yourself can you find ways to love yourself, such as learning to make up, match clothes, keep fit, and even make something new that you have never touched before, learn to draw, learn to dance and learn to swim. In addition to these experiences, I also found the time I lost with my family because of love and the mentality of running friends, buying gifts for my family, inviting friends to dinner and attending colleagues' parties. Slowly, she found that the world was really big and life was really beautiful, but she had shrunk into a world of two people and ignored all this. In this world, we need the support of social emotions, and we can't give up our lives because of a relationship. Finally, when you completely let go of this relationship and get to know yourself again, you can accept new feelings with your heart. It has been said that a large part of the pain of lovelorn is because "time is not long enough and the new love is not good enough". This is not wrong, but many people are eager to use a new relationship to heal before they understand the last relationship. In my consultation, I came into contact with many such cases. When the other party realized that you were still inextricably linked with your ex, they left sadly and disappointedly. You didn't realize that you were lovelorn again until the boy left. So, when you haven't dealt with your previous relationship, you are with another person. In fact, this is not the love of two people, but the entanglement of a triangular relationship. Lovelorn is a process, not an end. Many people have been giving up on themselves after falling in love and become another person, but they just don't realize that this is just a process of life, not the end of a happy life. Authors: Lu, emotional counselor. He is good at how to help visitors find their place in gender relations, and how to learn to guide a man and stabilize their emotional development. Get out of the shadow of breaking up and get rid of lost emotions. After breaking up, as long as you don't want to die or live, you can say it to prove that you are still rational. Maybe you've watched too many TV plays, thinking that crying twice and hanging three times still works? All you have to do is make yourself better, let him see your Excellence, and then let him fall behind. Travel can let you vent all your unhappiness and make you forget everything during the trip. It's best to go to a place with good feng shui, and then make a hullabaloo about to release the pressure. Watching movies has always been a good place to express your feelings. Choose a suitable romantic movie, it is better to go to the cinema. Of course, if you like science fiction movies, you can go and see them. If you want to be a hero, the hero is lonely. Losing such a person is nothing. In the future, more people will love you and believe that they are excellent. There is nothing difficult for them, just consider him blind. Participate in team activities. Take part in outdoor activities, preferably team activities. Because of this, you will be better integrated, and maybe you will meet someone who is really good to you in the team. Life is so casual, you don't know when the other person will come into your life, and you don't know when he will leave, so the best way is to let him walk in your heart or stay. The vitality of the team may make you forget each other. Life is not for two people, but for everyone. Now that you have been disappointed in your good job, turn grief into strength. Work hard and turn these into your motivation. If you feel that you are not good enough, I will work hard. Love has nothing to do with me, and because of this motive, you may be noticed by the boss. Of course, lovelorn needs to be vented and distracted. Don't you think this is an effective method? Talking with friends, chatting with friends and confiding with friends can alleviate their inner trauma to some extent. Why else would there be such a thing as a best friend? Instead of being bored alone, it is better to tell friends that you are unhappy after breaking up, otherwise what is boring alone? Do you think it will heal automatically? Yes, it can heal automatically, but it is relatively too slow. In fact, proper diversion is also quite good.