Later, I intend to leave the gym. I contacted my uncle before I left. We usually need to maintain customers to exercise at work, so I contacted him normally that day and asked him if he hadn't come to exercise for a long time and when he would come to exercise. He hasn't sent me a message since I refused him last time. It happened that after I sent him a message that day, he started chatting with me again.
Then I chatted and told him that I was leaving my job and was looking for a job recently. He asked me if I would like to work in his company, but I refused. Later, he sent me WeChat every day, and then he told me that he liked me. I told him directly, I said that my emotional intelligence was low and I didn't know how to beat around the bush. Don't blame me if I'm wrong. He said he was an old face, which gave me something to say. I said that your boss changed his girlfriend like changing clothes. When I was in college, you chased me like this. After I refused, I immediately searched for new prey the next day. Besides, you are all married with children, and I dare not like it.
Then he got serious and introduced him to me. He said he was divorced and had a son living with his ex-wife. He also said that I thought too badly of him. Later I found out that he was really serious and didn't seem to be fooling around. I planned to try in my mind, but I didn't tell him. The real decision to promise him to stay with him was the day he helped me arrange my work.
He said he would introduce me to a job before, but I refused. I list excel forms one by one for the interview. It happened that he didn't go to work that Saturday, so he drove me to an interview. When I interviewed all the companies I was looking for, he said that he had friends who also run similar companies, so he took me to have a look.
Later, I realized that accepting the job he arranged was tantamount to accepting him. However, there is no direct relationship. I promised to try to get along with him from a friend first. Before going to work, I arranged for my bosses to take me to dinner. He drank a lot that night, and I don't know if he drank enough. During the dinner, he was a little drunk, grabbed my hand under the table, and then said to me three times in my ear: Will you stop doing it and be my wife?
I fell straight on the back table and was completely drunk. Anyway, two boys carry him too much. His height is 185 and his weight is at least 180 kg. Then everyone drank too much and was carried away. In the end, he and I were alone in the hotel. I have no choice but to sit with him.
Later, the boss of the company I was about to join called another male colleague about his height, and the three of them carried him out together. I followed him with his clothes. When I was walking, he suddenly stopped and turned to look for me. I saw his red eyes full of worries, and I was relieved to see him. Seeing his eyes, I let go of all my defenses against him.
After being together, he let me stay at his house for three months before falling in love. At that time, his parents lived together. Every day, I don't have to work or do housework. I feel that each other's personalities are also very suitable, and I am very happy every day. I quit my previous job because it was not suitable. I signed up for an online class at home and learned to write a copy myself.
Soon the epidemic broke out in their hometown, and they talked about WeChat typing voice and video every day, and they basically kept in touch. In the following March, we each issued a certificate from the local community. He drove from his hometown to mine and took me from my home to Wuhan. He and I lived in his home before April 8, and his parents stayed in their hometown because of the epidemic. Every day he cooks, washes dishes and does housework. I basically stay at home all day and do something I want to do, such as writing a copy and starting a club. After returning to work on April 8, he began to have problems. He quarreled with me and said that you didn't do anything at home all day, and I had to cook for you when I came back from work, right?
The contradiction began at this time. It's not that I don't want to cook or do housework. To tell the truth, my classmates and friends, including my mother, will not do housework before marriage. I am an only child. Although my family conditions are average, my parents never let me do housework. I have no consciousness of doing housework at all.
After quarreling with him, I reflected on myself and understood his hard work. Slowly, I began to learn to buy food, then learn to cook, then learn how to do it well, and then learn how to do it well, faster. Up to now, I have basically finished all the housework, and he himself thinks that the food I am cooking now tastes ok. Sometimes he will cook with me after work, or cook some dishes I like.
However, we are still in conflict. I found that he was increasingly dissatisfied with me and always found fault with me. Every time he says I haven't done anything well, I change it. Maybe I haven't changed it for a short time. Need more time, and then he will make a request. Then he still thinks I haven't changed. . . To tell the truth, I have no confidence at all now. . . .
The last time there was a conflict, he thought my relationship with the coach in the gym was abnormal. To tell the truth, it's really nothing, just normal exercise. But because I deleted the chat record with the coach, I have no evidence to prove myself. At that time, he asked me when I deleted the chat record. I lied in the afternoon. In fact, when he went to take a shower that night, he repeatedly asked me when I deleted it, but I refused to admit it. Because I'm afraid he'll misunderstand even more after he admits it. Everyone here must say that I deleted the record and refused to admit it. There must be something wrong.
Let me explain again why I want to delete the record. When I was working in the company before, a male colleague sent me a message at around 1 1: 30 in the evening, asking me if I wanted to drink coffee and thanking me for inviting him to drink milk tea that day. I won't explain why I invited my male colleagues here to drink milk tea. In short, there is absolutely no abnormal relationship, and it is normal for colleagues to invite each other to eat and drink. And only that time, I didn't accept other people's coffee. Uncle, because of this big night, we are at odds again. The reason is that I should not reply to messages of the opposite sex other than 1 1 at night.
The second time, colleagues in other groups said that they wanted to add me to WeChat, wanted to know about the work content, and considered transferring to our group. This is normal, right? Uncle feels that others just want to add you to WeChat. Later, after talking about some work, my colleagues began to ask where my home was, saying that they could pick me up from work and send me off work. I answered no, my husband will pick me up from work every day. Then I told the supervisor at that time that the supervisor didn't agree to transfer this person to our group. Because of this, boys came to me again and called me petty or something. I thought everyone was a colleague who looked down every day. I didn't want to be too embarrassed, so I sent him a long WeChat to the effect that regardless of his other intentions, I have a husband and have a good relationship. Then uncle thought I was giving others a chance. . . . . I just can't explain it clearly anyway.
In a word, it's my fault to exceed 1 1 pm with the opposite sex. Just reply to other people's messages. And he can video chat with the opposite sex for an hour or two. If I have a problem, I'm just unreasonable. The reason is that the other party is an old sister-in-law and has known each other for a long time. The relationship is very close, even if I post it to him, he won't want it.
Because of these things, I can only be careful, lest he think too much. So I went to the gym and spent less than 2k to buy a few private lessons. Although I have done private education before, there are some things I don't understand. I think this is more efficient, and I have done private education, so I have a stronger awareness in this area. I didn't let him know about buying the class, because I used the flowers myself, and I still owed my credit card and spent about 5w. I'm afraid that if he finds out and scolds me for spending too much money, he will keep it from him and can't let him know that I am working out in the gym. But maybe he knows me better. Before that, he had checked my mobile phone while I was asleep, and also checked my chat record with the fitness instructor. There's really nothing. But I can't explain it. There's no evidence.
This is the most serious conflict. Every time there was a contradiction before, I took the initiative to make up with him. This time, I didn't, because he asked me to move out of his house. To tell you the truth, I've been trying to get over it. Because I am alone in this city, I really don't know how he said that sentence at that time, and he actually knows that I have nothing to do with others, just angry that I lied and said that I deleted the record this afternoon. Later, he reconciled and moved back. He even said that if he didn't come to me, I wouldn't have a place to live now, and eating was also a problem, and I couldn't even pay my monthly payment. What kind of brain circuit is this? Is that what he should say? He doesn't think it's too much for me to move out of his house, but he thinks I can't live without him?
In the past, it was not a matter of principle to repeatedly make contradictions. He thinks that the clatter of slippers when I walk at night affects the rest of the people downstairs. No problem. I said that if I changed a pair of soft-soled mops, I would have no sound when I walked. He insisted on forcing me to change my walking habits. Isn't home a comfortable place to rest? I must be careful when I walk. I study copywriting at home and run a club. He thinks this is a lie, saying that I play at home every day and don't do housework. Ok, I learn to do housework and cook. He said I didn't want to find a job or go to work. Well, I went out to find a job and went to work, and then 1 1 later I couldn't reply to messages from the opposite sex. I'm all thumbs. Sometimes when something suddenly falls to the ground or bumps into it, he will ask me loudly what I am doing. Yes, the tone is full of unhappiness. Shouldn't I care if I'm hurt at this time? I've argued about everything at least three times.
Every time I quarrel because of these things, I will take the initiative to make up with him, because I don't think it's a big deal. A relationship can't just accept the other person's good, not his shortcomings. Besides, I think fighting is too hurtful. No matter who is right or wrong, I want to make up quickly. In addition, I think there is no right or wrong in these things, and not all things can be judged by right or wrong. As a result, every time I made up with him, he still ignored me. Later, I couldn't stand his cold war. I will swear that if you call again next time, we can forget it. After that, he was a little better. If we quarrel again, he will talk to me as long as I take the initiative to talk to him.
When I was sweet with him, it was really sweet. I can't forget the sad feeling when I have conflicts. The point is that I don't understand why he keeps telling me these things. He said he didn't look for a job before, but later I did. When my job was stable, he would take it out and say it over and over again every time he quarreled. And housework, he repeatedly said. I explained that it was because I had never done it at home before, including with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't realize this, but he said you meant it was awesome not to do housework before. Do you think you are right? What logic is this? Is that what I mean? Besides, I basically do housework in the back.
Moreover, he also said that he would give me a house to live in every day, so I don't have to worry about water, electricity and living expenses. I just need to do housework. . . . Or I'll pay the water and electricity bills. . . .
Sometimes the work or other things I want to do are basically denied by him most of the time. He thought he said I was doing good for myself. He said that if he didn't care about me, he wouldn't talk about me at all. However, I really can't accept being lectured like this every day. I feel that my ideas are always denied. The most unacceptable thing is that he likes cold violence. Every time I take the initiative to make up, sometimes he doesn't pay much attention to me, and when I make up, I will definitely put out a lot of things I do that he thinks are bad. He is helping me, and I don't accept his kindness. In fact, every time he says I'm listening carefully, I don't know why he always says I don't listen to him. And I'm also working hard, at least now I've basically learned to cook and do housework, but he always seems to fail to see my progress and always talks about my past shortcomings, and I will take them out every time I quarrel. . . . .
To tell the truth, I often communicate with him, but I feel that communication is ineffective. He said that what he said, what I said and what I said, all hoped that the other party would accept his own point of view. He thinks my point of view is wrong. He must distinguish right from wrong, and the standard of right and wrong is that he has the final say. What he often talks about is: You think you are right, don't you? He said that I always quarreled with him. He said that he could give in, but that meant that he didn't want to care about me. This logic. . . . . I don't understand. What's more, most things are not absolutely right or wrong, but everyone's position is different, and most of the things that I disagree with him are not matters of principle, but trivial matters. I don't understand why he must distinguish right from wrong.
Of course, this is just my one-sided statement, and the same thing may be said by him in another version. In short, he thinks that I always don't listen to his advice, including work and life. Moreover, I think he is not tolerant of me and always wants me to do everything according to his wishes. I think everyone is an independent individual, and it is normal to have different ideas, plus the age gap is so big. But if you don't agree and understand, it doesn't matter if you at least respect it, right? Why do you have to let others do what you want? Am I a puppet? He said he was trying to avoid making me detour. He said he told me there was a hole ahead and I had to jump in. He said that I only like to listen to good words, and I don't like to listen to advice at the worst time.
Then, the fitness instructor's business is not over. Last time he asked me to move out, he came to make up with me again. As a result, I said that I went to the gym to exercise. He said that other coaches would be happy to see me, and that those people spoke well. I asked him if he spoke well when talking to the client, and he said that you think you are right, right? I'm a little puzzled. How is this right? Then I answered him, "What is right? What are you talking about? " Then there was a conflict, and one day we all stopped talking. Later, I thought that it was not long before we made up, so I didn't want to toss again. I made up with him voluntarily. As a result, he was still unwilling. Anyway, the talks broke down again, and then he asked me to move out.
I really moved out this time. Last time I just walked alone, I didn't bring anything. This time, I basically took everything away, and I almost moved it. Although they didn't say the word "break up", I think the dynamics of his circle of friends should almost mean breaking up, and they haven't contacted each other for almost a week.
Everyone must be wondering why I'm still with Uncle Tucao. Put a picture behind to briefly describe the process with your ex-boyfriend. Plus some reasons for coming from a family, I might prefer an older one.
By the way, I am currently an institutional children's art teacher with a monthly salary of 5-8k. Uncle started his own company. Maybe he can earn me a month's salary in a day or two. Seeing this, everyone will definitely start spraying me, saying that you and your uncle are just a picture of money. If this is the only reaction in everyone's mind when they see this collocation, maybe this is the essence of human nature.
Let's talk about color first. I am above average. Besides, uncle is 40 years old. What kind of woman has he never seen? He said he chose me because I am sincere and kind, have nothing to say, and take my work and life seriously. Talk about wealth. Because of the disparity between the rich and the poor, from the perspective of human nature, people think it is understandable that I want money. At first, I really didn't accept any material contribution from him. He didn't give me a present when he chased me. After we confirmed our relationship, he bought me a present. I was worried that I couldn't afford a gift in return, so I asked him not to buy me any more. Including me changing my cell phone and so on. He said to buy it for me, but I refused and asked me to pay for it myself.
Later, I played with his friend's wife. Those sisters told me that if you want to be with him, it is appropriate to accept some men's kindness to you and make him feel that you need him, and he is happy when he gives for you. Plus we've been together for a while, I think there will be some material contact with my ex-boyfriend. Maybe I'm too sensitive, and I'm worried that he thinks I'm doing it for money, so I think I'm lofty and won't accept his efforts, and then I'll slowly accept some, about a few hundred dollars at a time. Except that I live in his house, he bears the burden of eating, drinking and living. Usually other expenses are basically my own. Usually, most holidays, he will give me gifts, and I will return them every time. I try my best to choose what I can bear. Sometimes his hands are tight, and he will make something he might like by hand. Sometimes I give him some festivals, but he doesn't.
In a word, my uncle and I get along like ordinary couples. We occasionally walk and run on the road, cook and eat together after work, wear lovers' clothes, go to the cinema to see movies, meet our parents and so on. Life is not as disharmonious as everyone thinks. On the contrary, my uncle and I are more in tune than my ex-boyfriend of the same age, and my uncle pays more attention to maintenance. It is often said that he doesn't look like 40 years old. The only thing that doesn't conform to the secular vision is the age gap.
In fact, both sides cherish this relationship, but the constant contradictions and quarrels make everyone hesitate to continue, and each feels very hurt and lacks understanding for the other. Maybe everyone wants each other to change. Actually, it's not. I don't want to change It's just that uncle means he doesn't have any problems All the problems and responsibilities are on me. He just wants me to change by myself, so I feel very uncomfortable. Originally, with such a big age gap, it was more difficult to get together than normal. Both sides must work hard. The efforts of only one party may not be enough. Unexpectedly, neither of us worked hard. . . . .
Maybe I don't know how to run a business in a relationship myself. I hesitate to continue, because there is no conflict of principle with my uncle. We all care about each other. I can feel that he is also very sad, but it seems that there is a big difference between them, especially in personality. The cold war, criticizing me, is really hard. I don't like spending the night. Even if they quarrel, I hope that both sides will not be like strangers, which will neither hurt feelings nor solve problems. Everyone has emotions, but after venting, they still need to consider each other. They have been trapped in emotions, and their feelings may slowly wear away. And until the last contact, the paragraphs he sent me were still talking about my problems. . . . .