Life is a river. When you wade across it, you cross it.
Write a person's life, read it and put it down.
From Avenue to Jane, everyone knows. It's not that easy to forget the past.
Hongmei, 46, was born in a village on the outskirts of Guanzhong Plain in the 1970s. Time flies for years. Whenever I think back to the past, I have bitter childhood memories, yearning for youth, and stumbling over hard work ... I wanted to write something about Hongmei a long time ago, but I have been suffering from lack of materials and confusion, and I can't write it for more than a year. When a friend asked, he had to smile and answer: soon, soon. In order to live up to my friends' sincere expectations, I have to sort out some fragmentary memories and string them together with a thread as memories of Hongmei.
Unforgettable bitter childhood
Now it seems that a person's life, from birth to growing up slowly until old age, is spent in childhood romance, youthful years, passionate dreams and the brilliance of seeing the sun. Although there are also bitterness and even tears, happiness and happiness will always account for the vast majority.
However, in the hard years of the past, some things were not as beautiful as they are now.
1a rainy night in autumn of 976, With a loud "whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... whoa ... …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. This is the first time I have seen this phenomenon. To congratulate my villagers. They all said it was a good sign. You call this crying doll Hongmei. Parents also feel good, and everyone is very happy. As soon as they called, they called away, and the neighbors followed suit. Until now, the old people in their hometown still remember this. As long as Hongmei goes back to her hometown, she still cries like this.
Hongmei's village is surrounded by deep ditches washed out by years. The soil on both sides of the gully is very yellow and hard. Only sporadic grass and miscellaneous trees grow on the sloping land in the gully. From time to time, a few sheep are looking up, looking so carefree. The houses in the village are all made of yellow mud, and every household has a small yard. The wall of the small courtyard is about half a person's height, and it is also surrounded by mud. There are some chickens and dogs scattered in the yard. The chicken is walking back and forth for food, and the dog is lying lazily in a corner, with his eyes closed and motionless.
In that era of "working at sunrise, resting at sunset, digging wells to drink, plowing and eating", working in the production team was the only way of life for the villagers. According to the villagers' memories, "At that time, the land belonged to the commune, cows were bulls, and people were also called members. Everything in the village is public. " "If anyone opens a wasteland, plants a piece of land and eats a fresh piece, he will put on the hat of' capitalist', which is' cutting the tail of capitalism'."
The work of the production team is collective labor, and each labor earns a labor point. More work, more pay, more work, more points, more food. At that time, a production team member was only worth 9 cents. In addition, "yellow soil is not easy to grow crops and the survival rate is low" and "crops can't grow well after a long drought, and there is no good harvest at all. After a year, the villagers didn't have enough food to eat and their wages were advanced in advance.
It is a common phenomenon to "lack clothes and eat less" and "depend on the weather to eat", especially when the food is green and yellow, except sweet potatoes, and when it is a little better, you can still eat a mouthful of noodles, which is the noodles mixed with corn flour and boiling water. This is also the most extravagant food for children. Sometimes adults are so hungry that they have to secretly drink a few mouthfuls of water to suppress their hunger. On holidays, although you can eat oily buns, it is just to dig a hole in the buns, dig some oil with a spoon and sprinkle some salt. There is also a phenomenon that there is no needle and thread at home, and women are delivered by barefoot doctors, so they can only carry diseases. There are also local rumors that "sweet potato noodles and sweet potato buns are inseparable from sweet potatoes" and "no oil and no salt, no one asks, who can care who is hungry; After suffering from the heat, how can I ask for money to take medicine? " These are the portrayal of the real life of the villagers in that era.
Hongmei is the boss, and her parents regard her as a pet, the apple of her eye, and she is pampered. Under the care of her parents, no matter how badly she eats, Hongmei lives happily and is full of childlike innocence. He is always so naughty when he can walk, and the puppy naturally becomes the best playmate. From time to time, I climb on my father's back, and then my feet cross my shoulders. Hongmei's father is always obedient and doting.
The concept of "carrying on the family line and continuing the incense" has existed since ancient times and has been passed down in this village. Hongmei's parents are no exception. 1978, when Hongmei was more than 2 years old, another little life landed in this farm yard. It's a boy, Hongmei's younger brother. Although life is tight, the arrival of a new life, Hongmei has been obedient since childhood, and from time to time, her younger brother, Doby, has brought endless joy to this small family again.
As Hongmei grows up day by day, in her simple childhood, although there are not so many toys now, the children have a good time. The boys just play with rollers and slingshots. Girls play house, play shuttlecock, hide and seek. Besides being a puppy's companion, Hongmei soon joined Syoujotai and played her favorite games. Although living in poverty, the children don't seem to care. They should play as usual and be full of happiness as usual. Despite this, the slow pace of life, coupled with collective labor, although children usually eat baked sweet potatoes and batter, they are also very happy, and their faces are always full of happy smiles. People also live a very leisurely and quiet life.
Hongmei's father doesn't think so. At the bottom of the fish tank, he has nothing to eat. He can bear it, but two children can't. The child is hungry, sallow and emaciated, looking in his eyes and anxious in his heart. Hongmei's father thought, although it is impossible to cultivate land, it is better to find something else to do than anything else. "With more food, children can eat more and never starve to death." So I put my heart and soul into it, and after finishing the work of the production team, I asked around about the work.
Hongmei's father is not very tall, thin and dark. He looks strong, too. He is a good worker. Soon, Hongmei's father found a hard job-digging coal in the mine.
Although there were all kinds of maladjustments at first, looking at the present situation at home is like two skinny children who can only bite their teeth and persist day by day. I am getting used to it. Although more bitter and tired, Hongmei's father is really good, working to dig coal. When I got home and saw two young lives, my heart was as sweet as honey. I forgot all the fatigue and did everything. The more I work, the more energetic I am and the harder I work. In the coal mine, where others feel dangerous and don't want to go, he thinks he can go; He also volunteered to do things that others were afraid of suffering and fatigue. This is three years.
1982, when Hongmei was 5 years old, when Hongmei's father was working in the mine, he obviously felt more and more unwell. He used to cough from time to time, and his phlegm gradually increased. He also feels stuffy in the chest and can't breathe well. Nevertheless, Hongmei's father thinks that the production team and the mine are too tired, so it is good to have a rest. He didn't take it seriously at all, and didn't tell Hongmei's mother about it, so he kept insisting.
"It rains all night, but it never rains alone." . Hongmei's father and friends in the mine were seriously injured in a collapse accident when they were digging coal deep in the mine. After being sent to the health center of the production team, due to the poor conditions in the health center, only some dressing treatment was done. Because my family is poor, I can only choose to stay in the health center of the production team. In addition, the injury is too heavy and the lung disease is aggravated. No matter how strong the tough guy is, he can't hold on and soon falls.
In rural areas, it is hard to imagine the living conditions of families without male labor. The pillar of Hongmei's family is gone, and Hongmei's mother is getting upset day by day, crying all day, and the family keeps crying. The scene and sound of crying also make neighbors feel very worried. In this way, the family was shrouded in a gloomy cloud.
After his father left, the lives of young Hongmei and his younger brother took a turn for the worse, and the life at home also changed dramatically. No matter how hard it is, Hongmei's mother should cheer up and work in the production team. Since then, the task of looking after my brother has fallen on Hongmei's young body. So the two children snuggled up to each other at home. When they were hungry, they went to dig some sweet potatoes in the wild, and there was no smile on their faces, and they rarely went to play with their little sisters.
Time flies to 1984, which is the age at which Hongmei should go to school at the age of 7. Because there was no kindergarten in the production team at that time, all the children went directly to primary school. The brigade also has a complete primary school (1 grade to grade 5), and after grade 5, it will get a further market town to attend junior high school. Although the tuition fee for going to school now seems to be small, it is only a few dollars. However, due to the burden of family, it is on my mother's weak shoulder. Naturally, the income is very small, and there is not enough to eat. How can I afford to go to school?
The time for the start of school has passed day by day. Hongmei watched other children carry linen schoolbags sewn by their parents and go to school happily. Hongmei is also asking her mother, "When shall I go to school?" I heard that Hongmei's mother's heart was broken, and I thought that no matter how hard it was, I couldn't suffer the child, so I borrowed it from the east and the west. 1 month of school, Hongmei went to school as she wished.
Children from poor families have taken the initiative very early. As soon as school is over, Hongmei helps her mother do all kinds of work. 1987, Hongmei 10 years old. When I was helping to herd sheep, I walked on the rugged road in the mountains. Due to malnutrition and weakness, I accidentally fell and rolled into a ravine more than 10 meters high, breaking my arms and legs. Such a retreat is more than two months. When she was able to walk by herself, Hongmei never went to school because of the hardship at home, which means Hongmei has dropped out of school.
After dropping out of school, Hongmei took on the task of looking after her younger brother and doing housework. When she was playing with her brother, she walked on the way to school from time to time and arrived at school unconsciously. Looking at the school and other children going to school, Hongmei had to climb out of the window, listen to the sound of teachers and students reading, and look at teachers and students through the crack of the door. From then on, Hongmei wanted to go to school too much and was eager to learn.
Neighbors are sad to see it. A good man is gone, and a good home collapses. Some said to Hongmei's mother, "You are a peasant woman, busy inside and outside, and you have to take care of two dolls. When is the end? " Relatives saw that the two children were much shorter and thinner than other dolls in the village, and they also advised Hongmei's mother, "You are alone, and the children's affairs have made you suffer. Don't you think about the future?" Whenever she heard this, Hongmei's mother burst into tears when she saw two lonely children.
With the constant help of good people, although Hong's sister and mother didn't want to do it themselves, in order to feed their two children, they had to nod and agree to combine with an old man who lost his independence in a neighboring village to form a new home. Although Hongmei is only 10 years old, she looks much more sensible than other children of the same age and knows what is going on. A year later, Hongmei's family has a new life, that is, Hongmei's sister and half-sister. Since then, Hongmei's family is a family of five.
Although the stepfather is very kind to Hongmei and his sister, he just doesn't like words very much and doesn't know how to speak. With the help of her stepfather, Hongmei walked into the school gate again ... but Hongmei knew that her stepfather was not a dear father, and she would not spoil herself like her dear father. Since having a younger sister, Hongmei always feels that her mother and stepfather don't seem to care much about Hongmei. Whenever there are guests at home, or on holidays, if there is anything delicious, I will try my best with my brother and sister, so I feel a little lost and feel that my mother no longer loves me. Every time she comes home from school, Hongmei always looks through the crack of the door first. When her stepfather is not at home, she rushes into the room. When I was there, I began to hide far away. Because, since her father left, Hongmei has never eaten a 2-cent popsicle, and the snacks that other children have eaten, the most she eats is the sweet potato planed in the wild. Hongmei has learned a lot and has never had feelings for this new home.
Hongmei sometimes thinks that she can continue to go to school because she has a stepfather, or she has dropped out of school until now. Hongmei also tried to accept her stepfather, but it was hard to accept. Until she finished primary school and went to the market town for junior high school, Hongmei never called her stepfather. Stepfather is an honest man and has no mind. He only knows how to work. Usually, his name is Hongmei, not his daughter. The generation gap between them is growing.
There has always been a custom of favoring boys over girls in rural areas. It is said that girls want to get married. Why do you read so many books? Might as well go home and help with some housework. Hongmei has been out of school for almost a year. 1990. Just over 14, when she was about to read the second day of junior high school, Hongmei's mother said to Hongmei, "Your brother is going to junior high school soon, and your sister is going to school, so our family can't afford it. You also went to elementary school, you can read a few words, and so can your money, otherwise you won't study. " When my stepfather heard this, he just sat there without saying a word. Hongmei knows that many girls her age in the village no longer go to school. This is what my stepfather and mother discussed, so let my mother speak.
Hongmei said that she really dropped out of school and never went to school again. She just can't finish her work in the future, and the puppy is the person who accompanies her the most. She also said that she could go to the first grade, and she really wanted to thank her stepfather. Losing my father, dropping out of school, breaking a bone, dropping out of school again, and other situations still appear in my mind from time to time, and I can't erase them if I want to. They have been pestering her and torturing her until now.
Meet a rainbow on the road of life
In the eyes of the elders in the village, "more children and more grandchildren" is called happiness. They often say, "At that time, we got married at the age of fifteen or sixteen and lived well." The traditional concept of "getting married early, having children early and enjoying happiness early" has been deeply imprinted in their minds.
Influenced by the previous generation, most of the 16-year-old children in the village, whether boys or girls, follow the tradition passed down from generation to generation, and will not go to school as long as they finish junior high school. The villagers have been joking that "you can have help this time, don't be too tired." At this time, a good matchmaker came to the door and began to talk about marriage. As a result, it is common for many peasant children to get married before they are adults and hold another tender face with one tender face.
1993, Hongmei 17 was a slim girl. The youthful body exudes an attractive fragrance, attracting some good matchmakers around to step on the threshold. Although Hongmei's mother met some young people with the matchmaker, she also mentioned it to her many times. But Hongmei has always been stubborn. She met once at first, and then she never saw her again.
Sister Hong doesn't think so. Family changes have left a great shadow on Hongmei. "I haven't read enough books, but I still want to read." "Seeing the poverty at home and the shadow left by my father's departure, I don't want to stay here all my life." Every time I stand on the hillside in the ravine, right under my nose, I watch an old tractor driving on the winding and rugged road and out of the ravine. Hongmei has never been anywhere except in a market town five miles away from home. How much she wants to leave this small village. With that tractor, she can go out and see the outside world.
As I get older, my assistants do more things. There are some things that my family can't run away from, all of which are directed by Hongmei, and then she will go to the market town or even the further county from time to time. Seeing more, I have more natural ideas, and my determination to walk out of small villages and hills is more determined.
1994, Hongmei 18 years old, dared to disobey "parents' orders, the medium of marriage". Luo Zhang just refused to marry at home, always looking for an opportunity to slip away. When Hongmei went to the county town again, her heart lit up when she saw a recruitment message. "This is a rare opportunity, you must not miss it. "A distant and persistent idea is getting stronger and stronger. When I got home, I told my mother what I thought. I thought my mother would soon agree with her when she saw the poverty at home. Unexpectedly, my mother persistently objected, "You are crazy, running so far." "Look, at your age, everyone is married and everyone has children." "What are you doing out? You don't want to get married ... "For this reason, Hongmei and Hongmei's mother quarreled many times and made a lot of trouble.
I have made up my mind that my heart will never die and I will never regret it. Hongmei finally made up her mind, no matter how her mother objected, how to quarrel, how to stop it, and no matter what ideological work her mother asked relatives and friends to do. These words always go in one ear and out the other, and have no effect. In Hongmei's words, "My mother won't let me go out because she wants me to help them do housework at home and then take care of my brothers and sisters." "It is better than anything to find a suitable family around the village and get married early."
The contradiction between Hongmei's mother and herself is getting bigger and bigger, so many words can't be said together. Sometimes when she opens her mouth, she either shouts or makes noise. Hongmei felt that she couldn't stay at home for a day, and her idea of going out to recruit was more determined, and she began to think about running away.
When adults go out to work and siblings go to school, Hongmei puts a small note that says, "Mom, I want to go out, don't stop me. You don't have to call me when I go out. When I find a job, I will come back to see you ... "Under the pillow where my mother usually sleeps, so she carries a black and white ID card in her pocket and saves some pocket money when she goes to the market town.
Hongmei, who has never been out of town, really goes to a big place, which is also dark for her. "Fortunately, a kind uncle told me to buy a ticket to Xianyang according to the recruitment information recorded at that time, so I sat for more than four hours and came to a strange new world." "When I was recruiting, I looked around and lined up with many people. I filled out a form according to what they said, and I was fine, saying that I would wait for the notice." "I just went out and didn't have much money in my pocket. When I was hungry, I bought a steamed bun on the roadside.
The god of luck came at once, as if he cared for some people who needed special care. Hongmei passed her wish and was recruited as a factory worker. Since then, Hongmei, like many sisters, has been wearing blue staff uniforms, and the workshop, canteen and dormitory are busy at "three points and one line". Due to the heavy production tasks, the production workshop has to run around the clock 24 hours a day. Although there are shifts, sometimes a job takes more than ten hours when you are busy. Nevertheless, Hongmei works hard and doesn't feel tired at all. She seems to have almost forgotten the past, and her face is filled with a happy smile like all sisters.
This is very lucky for Guo Mei. This factory is Rainbow Electronics Group Company, which was originally established by the former Shaanxi Color CRT General Factory and later Rainbow Group Company. I worked in the factory for many years, and then I became a regular worker. The salary is not bad, 200 at first, then 2000. Hongmei seems to see hope, and she is more motivated and devoted to her post.
"If you marry a rainbow person" and "If you marry a daughter-in-law, you will marry a rainbow girl" are all popular sayings. Now don't underestimate that 200 yuan, 2000 yuan. In 1980s, the per capita monthly income was 60-80 yuan, but the salary of Rainbow employees was 200-300 yuan. In the 1990s, many companies paid only a few hundred dollars to go to work, and Hongmei got more than 2,000 yuan, which is a considerable figure. Every time I look back, the smooth progress at work gives Hongmei a sense of satisfaction, and a feeling of sweetness and happiness arises spontaneously on her face.
Not only that, in 2000, when she was 24 years old, when the god of love came to her step by step, the heart collided with the spark of generate, and naturally she entered the marriage hall when she was 25 years old. A year later, the seeds of love germinated and a very beautiful baby was born.
These days, Hongmei has been taking care of her husband and teaching children after work. With the increase of income, people's lives are getting richer and richer, and they have been rippling in the ocean of happiness. Life is sweet, and their hearts will always be happy. No matter how hard and tired they are, they think it's worth it. The room is full of laughter and joy.
At the same time, Hongmei never forgets to study and doesn't like to go out to play at ordinary times. As long as she has a little leisure, she makes full use of it and slowly picks up what she left behind and didn't learn with only a little knowledge. With the unremitting efforts of Hongmei, she works, studies and takes care of her family. She took two adult exams and got diplomas from technical secondary schools and junior colleges, which was a double harvest of career and love. The beautiful life has been living like this, no wind, no rain, no waves, very comfortable.
Rebirth after being laid off
Time flies, in the blink of an eye. Time flies to 2003.
Driven by the mighty east wind and the powerful drums of the western development, a powerful new force destroyed the traditional workshop-style enterprises that lacked vitality, struggled and were difficult to continue to develop, and ushered in the spring of economic take-off and social development.
In the past, this small city did not seem to feel the power of the strong east wind of reform and opening up. The pace of life in the whole city is still so relaxed, and people are still slowly living a quiet, dull and comfortable life. After 2003, with the rapid development of new technologies, new processes, new technologies and new products are constantly emerging, especially in the textile and electronic industries. This small town seems to feel the earth shaking, and many people are afraid.
Hongmei's factory is no exception, and it is the most obviously affected one. The traditional industries have fallen sharply, the business performance of enterprises has fallen rapidly, and the development of enterprises has suddenly fallen into trouble. The factory has to take the way of diversion, resettlement and competition to break a new path. As an ordinary employee in the factory, the platform on which he lives is crumbling, and the conscientious and hard-working ordinary workers are the most affected and the deepest. Just when life was just getting better and feeling the happiness and sweetness of life, in 2005, Hongmei, like many employees in enterprises, bought out her work experience under a paper order and lost employment opportunities, and Hongmei was unemployed from then on.
The psychological gap strikes with irritability, depression, fear and hesitation. The most obvious feeling is that income is obviously not as good as before. To support a family, all kinds of miscellaneous expenses, such as rent, house items, children's school fees, living expenses, etc., all depend on my husband's salary of less than 1000 yuan a month, which is far from enough, and life seems to have suddenly fallen to a low point. At first, Hongmei kept looking for a suitable job with the help of some acquaintances and friends, but it was always unsatisfactory and her salary was pitiful. Hongmei also tries to do something else. She doesn't eat hard and her income is meager. "What should I do?" The shadow suddenly hung over Hongmei's head again.
In her life experience, she developed an indomitable and unwilling character. Hongmei made a bold decision to "find a job first, with a little income to support her family, and at the same time focus on law and Chinese, and strive to obtain a lawyer's license and a teacher's qualification certificate within two years". Later, after more than 600 days and nights of loneliness and unwillingness for two years, Hongmei finally got her wish and obtained the lawyer qualification certificate and teacher qualification certificate issued by the relevant national qualification departments.
After getting the certificate, how to choose the road behind, which road to take, and how to take the road, there is no room for any mistakes, which has always been a question that Hongmei has repeatedly thought about.
After a lot of consultation and comparison with personal hobbies, my thinking gradually became clear and I decided decisively, "I love reading, and my children are still young. Why don't I study with my children after work? " This decision. In this way, I began to set up a small desk in a small space at home and help my children with Chinese lessons while studying.
Shuttling children to and from school is a beautiful landscape in this city. Some parents find it difficult to pick up and drop off on time, so Hongmei takes the initiative to pick up and drop off. In the long run, other parents' children also came to Hongmei's house to do homework at the small table with their own children and listen to Hongmei telling her stories while reading, which attracted everyone to laugh and laugh.
Children are simple-minded and like what they want. As soon as I got home, I told my parents about listening to stories at Hongmei's house. Parents are very happy to see their children's homework finished on time. Naturally, they agreed to go directly to Hongmei's home to do homework and listen to various stories after school. Sometimes, it is natural to eat at Hongmei's house, just like at home, without the slightest timidity and shirking.
This is a year. Some children also want to go to Hongmei's house. Parents also feel that their children are different from before and speak in an orderly way. They will also tell you a story that they have never heard before, and they are willing to put their children at Hongmei's house. Children eat there, study there, tutor there and listen to all kinds of accidents. It's no different from being entrusted outside. My parents always feel embarrassed when they stay too long. Compared with the cost of remedial classes outside, they always feel more or less at ease In this way, Hongmei has not only a small income but also another income besides going to work. Although it is not much, she feels very happy and thinks that there will always be a reward for her efforts.
With this unexpected experience, Hongmei seems to have some experience, so she bought some small tables and chairs at home, so that every child can sit on the desk and do his homework and listen to the story after writing it. After the story spread in the community, more parents heard that their children were happy to go to Hongmei's house to do homework and listen to stories, and they all followed suit.
After a long time, Hongmei's home is like a training class. More and more children, more and more wonderful stories, more and more happy and more knowledgeable. In addition, a month will naturally increase the income of one thousand yuan and eight hundred yuan. In this way, Hongmei has been helping children with their homework and telling stories at home after work for three consecutive years. Hongmei seems to have realized a truth.
There are more and more children, and there is no room at home. Hongmei is thinking about whether to find a room and a half outside, put some desks and chairs, blackboards and so on, and be a little teacher. Anyway, she also has a teacher qualification certificate and is not afraid of anything.
In this way, Hongmei began to work. In a corner of the community, she found an empty room of 15 square meters, put more than 10 tables and chairs on it, and began to be a classroom coach.
Children are happy, parents can rest assured, and Hongmei can rest assured. "Trinity" welcomes more and more students, the classroom is getting bigger and bigger, and Hongmei has a sense of accomplishment. She feels that she has studied too little and always wants to tell her children more beautiful and educational accidents, which at least plays a very good role in stimulating their learning motivation. To this end, Hongmei purposefully strengthened the breadth and depth of reading, from synchronizing the common sense of students' textbooks in the past to all aspects of social knowledge. She is broad-minded and unconstrained style, as long as it is conducive to children's progress and knowledge, she can say as much as she can.
Whenever I hear a child say, "Teacher, you speak better than the teacher in our class", Hongmei feels relieved and has an unprecedented pressure. How to continue this remedial class and let more children suitable for learning listen to stories is another new problem that Hongmei is considering.
After constant exploration, exploration and thinking, Hongmei's clever head always seems to find the right starting point and the right solution, and one problem after another is quickly digested.
Later, Hongmei did a good job in the remedial class and developed rapidly. At present, there are five or six hundred students in each grade, and the teaching staff is quite good. It is also one of the most famous extra-curricular tutorial training schools in the city, which was eliminated and banned and survived the survival of the fittest. Especially children of all grades miss this teacher Hongmei who loves to talk and laugh very much.
Recently, I seem to hear that Hongmei has a bold plan to further expand the teaching scale and open up new positions in online teaching. I am really happy for her when I hear the good news. I sincerely hope that Hongmei will sweep away the shadow that has been hanging over her heart, her career will become more and more prosperous, and she will go further and further in the field of hope ... (Photo/from the Internet, any infringement tips will be deleted)