Qiqi recently broke up because she is a Virgo.

Excuse me.

Qiqi loves to keep the nest clean and tidy, and the clothes in the closet are placed in different categories; And he is always used to putting things around, which he also calls order in chaos. When there is a big party, Qiqi always gets ready early, and pursues perfection from clothes selection to makeup. Besides, he is always scrambling to wear which one before going out. Serious and responsible at work, and sometimes I will study the details of my work when I go home. And he always disdains to say "why do you want to be serious, but merge eggs" ... After a long time, their contradiction broke out. His favorite mantra is "Can you Virgos stop being so perfectionist obsessive-compulsive?" In his view, everything about Qiqi is wrong: cleanliness, formalism, melodramatic love, turtle hair and sensitivity. ...

How can a girl who is good in the eyes of outsiders be so unbearable in his eyes?

After listening to natural grievances, Qiqi cried and asked us, "Do I really have so many shortcomings?"

But to be honest, I love Virgo very much: how reassuring it is for Virgo colleagues who are serious, orderly and demanding perfection; A Virgo friend who loves cleanliness, likes to clean the house and tidy up the bookshelves, can be unscrupulous and lazy ... so Virgo will not bear the responsibility of breaking up on July 7, and they will break up. The root cause is that he doesn't love her, so he can't appreciate her.

Other people's eyes only reflect his own cognitive world and perspective, but they are not necessarily objective and true. Some people see good, others misinterpret it as bad, so we don't have to feel sorry for the evaluation of someone who doesn't appreciate ourselves.

Everyone stands in his own position and evaluates others from his own preferences. Even the same trait will have different evaluations in different people's eyes. You can't please everyone's preferences, even if that person is your friend, lover or relative.

2.

I have read such a passage: "If you are a lion and people call you a dog, you won't really become a dog, so don't be angry about it;" If you are a dog and others praise you as a lion, you won't really become a lion, so don't be proud of it. Appreciation from others will not make us better; Other people's accusations won't make you worse, and there's nothing to be persistent about. "

No matter whether others' comments are good or bad, you are still you, and you can't change anything unless you really take others' comments to heart.

Maybe I was originally a standard figure, and after being laughed at, I became more and more concerned about the figures on weighing scale, and wanted to lose weight quickly. As a result, I didn't lose weight, but it damaged my health. A girl who used to look very sweet went for plastic surgery because others said, "It would be perfect if you had double eyelids and a pointed chin." As a result, the technology of the small clinic failed, and the plastic surgery became disfigured. You have conceived a very detailed planning case. Because others don't like it, you unconsciously play drums or even give up. ...

It's strange, what kind of person will take others' comments as Gao Gui and believe them?

Probably those who don't know themselves clearly, so they can't objectively judge whether other people's comments are relevant. They always exaggerate their strengths and weaknesses, and when they hear other people's comments and accusations, they are confused, sometimes they think highly of themselves, and sometimes they feel inferior and cowardly. Other people's eyes finally become their own eyes to examine themselves and criticize themselves.

3.

Sometimes, others actually make unintentional comments, but they put themselves under pressure.

My friend Xiaomei is really a lovely little girl.

One morning, she got up early and had plenty of time, so she put on makeup on a whim and wanted to go to work beautifully.

She proudly leaned over to her boyfriend and said, "Do you think I am beautiful?"

My boyfriend stayed for two seconds.

Yes, this is a big taboo, and Xiaomei is very upset. Please remember! When a girlfriend asks you if she is beautiful, the correct posture is: the boyfriend will always answer "beautiful!" " In the first second.

The boyfriend looked at her makeup carefully and popped out, "You painted this eye shadow ..."

Before her boyfriend finished, Xiaomei immediately exploded. "What, you think my eye shadow is terrible?" But I think it's beautiful. This is a new method I learned online. Besides, is it that ugly? How can you be my boyfriend ... "Xiaomei said a lot angrily and finally rushed into the bathroom.

When I came out again, the makeup on my face had been removed! ! !

The boyfriend was surprised and asked, "Hey, how did you unload it?"

Xiaomei is even more angry. "How ugly, can't I unload it?"

Half a ring, the boyfriend said weakly, "why don't you let people finish?" What I really want to say is that your eye shadow is very beautiful. "

When Xiaomei told us this story, a group of us laughed our heads off. So you see, it's not entirely the evaluation of others that makes us unable to truly face ourselves. Many times, do you think you can be yourself even without other people's comments?

Not exactly.

We accept external information every day, including other people's comments, that is, what we are seen by others, and the self-evaluation that we have become more and more stable in the process of growing up, that is, ourselves in our eyes. Many people shouted to be their own slogan, but later, their "being themselves" made them very tired, because in the eyes of others, they were still being themselves.

4.

So what exactly is being yourself?

As Li Yinhe once said: "Don't take yourself so seriously, no one will look at you like this. Everyone is prone to make self-centered mistakes. In fact, they are not that important, and everything related to them is no big deal. "

It doesn't really matter whether you are praised by high praise or criticized by low praise. When you no longer care about how to cater to other people's comments and what kind of person you are, you are your true self.

Do what you want to do, not just be yourself, each of us has our own advantages and disadvantages, so we should face up to and accept it. Some people strive to make progress in in our nature, and their goals are in the distance; However, some people don't want to live a hard life by nature. They are willing to be "waste wood", as long as they do the things at hand well. Not living, but living into beautiful poems.

Everyone has his own way of living, you don't have to think so much, you can always be the most comfortable yourself. Don't go against other people's opinions, concentrate on what you like and what you want to do.

Don't limit yourself with other people's comments. You are not a puppet to be played with, but live according to other people's expectations.

So, do you want to listen to other people's comments? Just like the truth in this world, some are right and some are wrong, but it doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong. It is meaningful to experience your own life first hand.