1

At the age of 20, I was very fat, about 130 kg. My roommate said I could lose weight. I said with inferiority: "I have stopped growing and developing now." I have been fat for several years and it is difficult to lose weight. "

She replied, "Nonsense, it's never too late to lose weight. Women should keep slim. "

I believe what she said, but I believe that I can't lose weight, not only because I'm lazy, but also because I like to make excuses to reassure myself.

She went on to say, "You follow me to swim this summer vacation, and I guarantee that you will lose weight successfully."

I didn't want to go with her, but that summer vacation, I happened to be preparing for the English exam at school, and I had nothing to do but study, so I went according to her wishes.

At first, I couldn't swim, so I had to soak in the shallow water of the swimming pool just to increase the temperature of the pool water. At that time, she laughed at me as a "bubble". At first, she was interested in teaching me to swim, and I called "coach" one by one. In less than three days, she lost patience and said to me, "I can lose weight by walking around this pool, really … I have to disappear for a while …"

Before the words were finished, she swam away, leisurely by the pool like a mermaid, completely ignoring that I was choked by the water. I watched her disappear on the surface of the water, and the water drops knocked out by her feet sprinkled on my face like layers of water curtains.

I remembered her last words and walked clumsily back and forth in the shallow water of the pool. In the following days, except for the physiological period, I will soak in the swimming pool almost every night. I don't know how long I stayed in the pool and how much water I drank, but I taught myself and became a "fish" in the pool.

Until now, I recall that the whole university smells like a choking pool. It is mixed with the breath of youth and the unyielding stubbornness of a fat girl, which makes me deeply miss it.

2

Working for many years, every time I encounter insurmountable difficulties, I mistakenly think that I choked my nose and jumped into the pool again. At this time, I will tell myself, it doesn't matter, fat girl, even if you are alone, you can still swim out. ...

The summer of college passed quickly, and when I started school in autumn, I lost more than 20 kilograms as soon as I got on the scale. Seeing that I was a slim girl alive, my classmates asked me the secret. I turned to my roommate and asked, "The secret is that I have been walking in the shallow water of the swimming pool and gradually lost weight. I should tell them, right? "

She laughed: "I said casually, and you believed it?" At that time, I just didn't want to spend my summer vacation at school alone, and I wanted to drag you to accompany me! "

Wow, but I really took it seriously and took this sentence as the truth. But I am still very touched, because two or three months ago 130 kg of fat people really didn't expect to lose 20 or 30 kg. I thought it was too late to lose weight until I remembered it. When I make up my mind to make myself better, it is the best start.

Until now, I have maintained the weight of that summer. Many friends around me are grinning and trying their best to lose weight, but they still turn into fat people year after year without hesitation. First, I think I can't lose weight in my life, and then I think fat girls are not bad. But every time I try on clothes that don't fit me, they turn to me annoyingly and ask me, "What's the secret of losing weight?"

three

When I was in my twenties, I wanted to write, write many stories and become a writer. One of my children earnestly advised me that writing depends on talent, and you can't write if you want to. Look at those famous writers. Who hasn't inherited talent since childhood? If you start writing now, it must be too late. Besides, it is better for a girl to marry well than to do well. The most important thing for a woman in this life is to find a big tree and spend her life in peace. ...

With these words, Mix left Beijing, returned to his hometown, got married in a hurry, became a housewife, and lived the life he wanted, leaving me wandering in this city alone.

I still want to write. Although I didn't report to the writing class with great fanfare, I still insisted on reading and writing after work every day. One afternoon eight months later, I looked at two bookshelves full of books on the balcony, opened one casually, and there were traces and written records, and suddenly I burst into tears.

At that time, I didn't know how long I would stick to it, how many books I read, how many stories I wrote, how many tears I shed, and how many lives I experienced before I could successfully publish a book and realize my dream. But I remember when I was 20 years old, I didn't know when I would lose weight, but I kept doing it, and naturally that day came. So, I dried my tears, lay down on my desk and started writing again.

At that time, I had a colleague named Brother Tu. Like me, he goes to work during the day and goes home to paint at night. He persisted for many years, and his works were exhibited in the National Museum and won prizes. I admired him at that time. Every time I stand beside him, I feel like a young girl.

Unfortunately, Tuge later left Beijing and went back to his hometown. I remember when I sent him to the station, I sincerely wished him with the painting he gave me: "You live on that mountain, don't forget to draw." He said, "I can't live by painting. I want to make money, live, get married and support my family. "

I can understand what Brother Tu said, but I still feel it's a pity: a person who loves painting so much left like this. Brother Tu told me that if you work hard at artistic creation, you will lose. I feel that no matter which life I choose, I will lose even worse if I don't take it seriously.

four

Until now, I am still a drifter in Beijing. Along the way, I met many people who insisted on their dreams, and also met some people who scoffed at their dreams. But as I get older, I really like the word "dream" more and more. Not only that, I also appreciate those who know how to persist seriously.

I am still on this road, from nothing, from self-doubt to confidence. I don't envy anyone anymore, I just want to be myself seriously. I know my desire and how to control it. I finally published my own book and lived the life I wanted ―― when I want to stop and enjoy my life, I dare to stop at once; When you want to run on the road to the workplace, you can go forward without hesitation. At first, I advised me not to grow up blindly, holding a book and saying, I really envy you, you can live for yourself, you have the freedom and happiness I want ... After listening, I finally stood up straight.

Now, I am glad for myself, glad that I have not blindly followed the voices around me, and think that all efforts are too late. There are always some people and things that change my view of myself, make me run around and make me rise. Those pains, like cocoons, brought me to the 30-year-old threshold and gained confidence I had never had before.

Some people used to laugh at my lack of talent, and some people laughed at my failure to marry the ideal person. The context at that time stung me. In retrospect, everything is light. I love this world, its prosperity and fragility. I try to understand everyone's choices in different environments and respect anyone's decision.

From the moment I jumped out of the pool at the age of 20, I knew that I would work hard at any age, and I just wanted to be the person I liked. I don't want to live up to the future. I also hope that when I am old, I can tell my children indifferently that almost everything you think is too late is just the right beginning.

Do whatever you want, and every hesitant struggle is the greatest waste of life.

Frog calf duck parrot fox grey wolf postgraduate fugitive ancient Xuanwu gate