Classic joke 400 words long (hot) 1. On a business trip, an aunt came just after leaving the station: Young man, do you live in a hotel? I said:? No need. ? Aunt immediately changed into an ambiguous tone:? There is a little girl. It's beautiful. ? I sweated and said: there is no little girl. ? Aunt immediately changed her mouth: old girl, old girl also has it. It is cheaper. ? Sweat again and say:? I don't want girls. ? Aunt was silent and whispered: Well, so does the young man! ?
My good brother wants to break up with his girlfriend, and he wants to pull me to be brave. After the three met, he said he was gay, but the person I liked was actually me. Fuck! I was embarrassed to cry, and the woman said I wish you happiness. It was raining, and we walked silently with umbrellas. Suddenly, my brother looked up slightly and said affectionately, you think it's all fake. Fuck you! ! !
3. How does the biology teacher in No.1 Middle School explain girls' menstruation? You are an egg. If you can't wait for sperm, it's called depression. You vomited blood while walking.
It is said that my brother and his girlfriend went to Guiyuan Temple on holiday. There were too many people on National Day. Many people worship in front of Buddha statues. Suddenly I saw a little girl who might be studying around, and suddenly she was lying there. This is an investment. Then he was pulled up by his father's father: it's a little early for you to worship this. Is this a farewell to Guanyin?
If it is sentimental, it will be old, and those who study physics will have died long ago. A strong woman in business doesn't know the hate of national subjugation, but she is still studying the theory of relativity across the river. Apes on both sides of the strait can't stop crying and discuss freedom with each other. If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, ask Hamilton directly. How much sadness can you have? Atomic states cannot be found. Just like the strong wind in spring, if it blows at night, the electronic track will not be arranged. The wind blows in Shui Han, and all kinds of physical difficulties. Sit up when you are critically ill and never learn physics.
6. A said to B:? Look at that kid. He is neither a man nor a woman. Do you think he is a boy or a girl? Hearing this, B replied unpleasantly:? It's a Girl! She is my daughter! ? A embarrassed, sorry to say. Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father! ? B roared:? Don't! I'm her mother! ! ! ?
7. The best thing about Global Times is that people don't directly PS photos.
8. It was fun to tattoo a bar code on your wrist some time ago. Today, when I went shopping, the little girl who collected money saw my barcode tattoo and took a scanner to scan it. ? Descending? There is an item on the small screen. Durex condom convex point thread Hot 3 Pack. Tattooist, your sister! (@lzaiting)
9. Confessions of female investors: The first time I fell, it was like a girl being touched, so nervous! The second fall is like being touched on the chest, which is terrible! If you fall again, it will be like being raped. Very painful! If you fall again, you won't feel anything! What if it continues to fall? "Shit! I am like this. Who's afraid of who? If you fall again, you will fall out of pleasure!
10. Sisters, my sister is gone. Brother, be careful. ? Brother and sister are gone, and they are all yours. (@ Song Xiaomei)
Classic joke 400 words long (classic) 1. The upper eyelid said to the lower eyelid: Why are you ignoring me again? Lower eyelid said: because the master has to study, we can't be together yet? The upper eyelid said: How happy is that? The lower eyelid said: no, the master will not fail the exam. What is our love? The master was moved? Say: Are you together? So the two embraced, and there was another sleeping child in the study room? (@ We like to tell one-liners)
The exam is coming, let's blow up the building! Civil engineering is responsible for measuring the explosion point, chemistry is responsible for blasting, mathematics is responsible for calculating the explosive tonnage, physical education institute is responsible for handling, fund-raising is responsible for management, photography is responsible for recording brilliant scenes, sound table soundtrack, Chinese writing, foreign language translation, school leadership secretary maintaining stability, education department evacuating people, psychological comfort, and political and legal aftermath (litigation). That's settled!
3. A friend sells clothes. She often puts 20 yuan in the clothes to be sold, pretends not to know, and then sells them for 40 yuan. Many customers are happy to buy clothes?
4. a:? What's wrong with girls now? They are wearing cotton-padded jackets on the top and stockings on the bottom. ? b:？ You don't even know this? Fresh milk should be kept warm and ham should be refrigerated. ?
Yesterday, I attended a college reunion. The dinner started at 6 pm. One of my classmates said that he was working overtime. According to the regulations, he couldn't get off work until 9 pm. We thought he couldn't come. Then he came on time! Did we ask him for leave? He said: I didn't ask for leave. I brought my company's punch card machine. I can find a branch in the hotel to punch in later.
6.？ If seniors want to indulge themselves before leaving school, seniors are willing to give themselves. ? Thread:? If the senior wants to indulge himself before leaving school, is the junior willing to dedicate herself? My boyfriend. ?
7.？ Tell me why you smoke. Waiting for a woman to persuade me to give up smoking. ? (@ 京京京京京京)
8. The ladies' bathroom caught fire and everyone ran naked. When the old man saw it, he shouted, Cover it up quickly! Women have three key parts, and naked women can't cover them. The old man shouted again and just covered his face. It's all the same down there. Mass enlightenment? Feeling: Smart people will focus on the key points!
9. A couple from China went to work in Australia, and their youngest son stayed in the local kindergarten. One day, the director asked his friends what 1+ 1 was, and they were at a loss. At this time, the younger son was depressed. I don't know? Then he shouted 1+ 1. Isn't that equal to 2? The next day, the director came to the couple's house with a serious face and said, Look what you did to the children! 1+ 1=2 is what he should know now?
10. A sexy MM was walking on the road when she suddenly heard: Don't move. A big man stopped her, MM was anxious and said, I'll give you money, so don't rob her, okay? The big fellow said, don't be wordy. Then push down Mm, mm frightened: no. M: I'm bored to death. Take off your socks quickly. I'm in a hurry to rob a bank.
Classic paragraph 400 words (selected articles) 1. The day before yesterday, I helped my tutor do a roadside survey on campus. One of the questions is this: Would you like to donate money to the school after graduation? A passer-by wrote: The school is even more brazen than Eight-Nation Alliance, and even after graduation, it refuses to let Lao Zi go!
2. You call me fat, I lose weight! You call me ugly, and I'm going to have plastic surgery! You call me poor, and I try to make money! Why do you think I chose you when I was thin, beautiful and rich? . . (@ Fashion Woman)
3. The 400-meter stone guardrail of Shijiazhuang Zi Long Bridge, which invested 200 million yuan in two years, was blown down by strong wind. A Geng, who was born and raised in China, believes that strong winds should have been reduced or temporarily stopped when encountering government projects. However, this wind swept away mercilessly, and now it is in informed criticism. I hope that when all related storms are engaged in irrigation activities, we must find the right target and avoid government projects, so as to avoid the collapse of the bridge and the rain breaking the stone fence and destroying the credibility of the government. (@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫)
4. The second factor left by nature is Meng, and the third factor is stupidity; The secondary disease is called blackening, and the tertiary disease is terrible; The arrogance of the second element is very cute, and the arrogance of the third element is very uncomfortable; The belly black of the second element is very handsome, and the third element is called the hidden knife in the smile. There will be a soft girl at the end of the house with two yuan/signing a contract with you/more money, and someone will drag you to a blind date/interpersonal difficulties at the end of the house with three yuan ... Distinguish dimensions, dear! (@ KINOMOTO SAKURA)
During the graduation season, the two brothers and sisters sold books one after another. One day, my kind brother reminded me: Senior, you left. . . The senior said flatly. . . . If the senior sister doesn't leave, the book buyer will leave.
6. When Beijing and Wuhan were warming up in their rooms, someone knocked at the door. The door opened and Nanjing stood outside the door soaked to the skin. The rain fell down her cheeks, but her eyes were tightly locked in Wuhan. Wuhan whispers: What are you doing? Nanjing said slowly: she is not the only one who can accompany you through thick and thin. If we can't open an umbrella together, I'd like to get wet with you?
7. Grandpa said, Zhang Ziyi, I am your fan! Zhang Ziyi sweated and said, Grandpa, I am your fan! The post-90s couple watched the romantic background of Kung Fu Panda 2, because Zhang Ziyi's favorite was arranged too late!
8. Zhou satisfied all my fantasies about men? ; Liu Ye:? I don't want to marry Nana "; Sebrina: "The most suitable person for me is Ling Xiao Su"; Liang Luoshi comments on Li Zekai:? He, I and the children are family, right? ; Nicholas Tse:? I love her and am willing to fight with my life? . Zhou Xun is single, Liu Ye marries others, divorces, breaks up, and dissolves.
9. I said to the math teacher in senior three: How many points do you give me? I wish you many years of life. ? Teacher Shu Gao looked at me and said, I'm over 60 this year, so I'll give you 59 points. ? So, I hung up?