Turn, children make mistakes, don't criticize, just say these eight sentences, which are particularly useful!

Children make mistakes, don't criticize, just say these eight sentences, which are particularly useful!

York parenting

Yesterday, I paid attention to the new media parenting channel that reported it.

When children grow up, they will inevitably encounter all kinds of problems. As parents, don't rush to intervene at this time. You can ask your children eight questions first and listen to their thoughts. Often without asking a few questions, things become clear and solved. Parents may wish to give it a try.

Don't criticize children's mistakes, just get it done in eight sentences.

The research results of American psychologists show that whether a child can successfully solve problems depends more on his experience than on his intelligence. Children's experiences often depend on their parents. "It's better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish." If there is a problem, don't try to help children solve it, but let them find their own solutions.

The first question is: "What happened?"

This question seems insignificant, but it is very important. Many adults will habitually judge too quickly when they encounter an emergency: "You hit him first, then he will hit you." "You must have done something wrong before the teacher punished you."

If children are not allowed to tell stories from his perspective, they are likely to be wronged. Moreover, if the child is given a chance to speak, even if it is really his fault, he will be more willing to admit his mistake because he has a chance to defend himself.

The second question is: "How do you feel?"

What happened is an objective fact, and the influence on the parties' hearts is purely subjective, and there is no right or wrong. Many times, we just need to express our feelings. Once you say it, you will feel much better when you cry and scold.

Brain science research shows that when a person's mood is high, external stimuli are not easily absorbed by the brain. In other words, when a person still has emotions, he won't listen to what others say. Always wait for him to calm down before he can think calmly.

Therefore, if we want our children to listen to our opinions, we first need to empathize with his feelings and let his emotions have an outlet.

When the child is calm enough, you can ask him the third question.

The third question: "What do you want?"

At this time, no matter what amazing words the child says, don't rush to teach him, but ask him the fourth question calmly: "What do you think?"

The fourth question: "What do you think?"

At this stage, you might as well brainstorm with your children and come up with all kinds of ideas, reasonable, unreasonable, ridiculous, ridiculous, disgusting, naive ... The key point of brainstorming is to allow any seemingly absurd ideas.

No matter what you hear at this time, don't criticize or judge for the time being.

When you can't think of any more ideas, you can ask him the fifth question.

The fifth question: "What are the consequences of these methods?"

Let the children check one by one. What are the consequences of each method? You may be surprised to find that most children understand the consequences of things.

If there is a gap in his cognition, you can discuss it with him at this time and let him understand the truth. This is a good opportunity for parent-child communication, but avoid preaching and just state the facts.

The sixth question: "What have you decided to do?"

A child will definitely choose the best situation for himself. If he understands the consequences, he usually makes the most reasonable and wise choice. Even if his choice is not the result expected by adults, he should respect the child's decision.

An adult must keep his word, and can't ask him how to decide first, and then tell him that he can't make such a decision. In this way, he will never trust you again

Besides, even if he makes a mistake, he can learn more valuable and unforgettable lessons from it.

The seventh question: "What do you want me to do?" And expressed support.

Parents must actively support their children when they say how they want to help him. Maybe children will say that they can solve it, which is more conducive to children's ability to solve problems.

After that, ask him one last question.

The eighth question: "What was the result? Is it as you expected? "

Or "What will you choose next time you encounter a similar situation?" Give him a chance to test his judgment. And there will be some ways to deal with similar things in the future.

After practicing this several times, children will have the ability to solve problems by themselves, and we don't need to worry.

Many parents think that children are young and have no ability to solve problems. In fact, even very young children will use some strategies and methods to solve problems.

Parents had better not rely entirely on themselves, but help their children or make decisions for them when they don't need them, because once they lose the opportunity to exercise, their ability to solve problems independently will deteriorate and they will be helpless when they encounter problems.

Children should be given enough opportunities, appropriate encouragement and specific guidance to cultivate their problem-solving ability and learn an indispensable lesson in this growing process.

York parenting