Many times, everyone looks very lively. In fact, everyone lives like an island. If you want to establish contact with each other, you must communicate.

And what is communication? The definition given by Baidu entry is that communication is the process of effective transmission and feedback of thoughts and feelings between people and between people and groups.

Recently, Veronica, a 43-year-old Spanish female teacher, walked into the biology class wearing a "tights for human organs", which clearly and completely drew the structure, blood vessels, intestines and even muscle texture of human organs.

As long as Veronica turns around, students can understand the structure and position of human body from 360 degrees.

This communicative teaching method makes biology class lively, and knowledge is easier to understand and absorb. Veronica once became an online celebrity, and some netizens exclaimed: This is too hard-core. Why didn't I meet such a teacher when I was at school?

The reason why this information has attracted a lot of attention and the teaching effect is surprising is because Zhijing said in "Six Ways to Communicate Directly to People's Heart": "In communication, if you want to tilt the balance of communication to you, you must first focus the attention of the other party on you. Once the other person's attention is attracted to you, your relationship will change and good communication will begin. "

The book "Six Paths of Communication to People's Hearts" has no big-name endorsements and no famous recommendation, only a clean and concise layout and full of dry goods. As a master of psychology in Peking University, Zhi Jing gave pertinent suggestions on how to communicate effectively from six dimensions: story, emotion, framework, logic, association and attention, and from three levels: form, method, skill and effect, so that communication can reach people's hearts and link souls.

1. Formally, story thinking is the beginning of effective communication.

Everyone says that good communication begins with a good story.

What is story thinking? Annett Simon once discussed this issue with the help of a story in Story Thinking:

The truth, direct and cold, was rejected by everyone in the village, and her directness frightened people.

When the truth was discovered by fable, she was cold and hungry, curled up in the corner. Fable pity her and send her home. Dress up the truth with stories, warm it up, and then send her out.

When the truth in story coat knocked on the villagers' door again, it was warmly welcomed.

In this story, there is no difficult definition and preaching, but it tells us directly: truth+story, which is story thinking.

How does story thinking touch people's hearts?

A father got Alzheimer's disease. At home, he forgot where the refrigerator was and where the toilet was. I came back from the door and walked to the door. I didn't even know this was my home. Sadly, he will forget that he just had dinner and who his son is.

Once, my son took him to dinner. Seeing the two jiaozi left on the plate, the old man picked up jiaozi with trembling hands and stuffed it directly into his pocket. His son felt embarrassed: Dad, what are you doing?

Old man: This is for my son. My son likes this.

This is the picture in a public service advertisement "Packaging" of CCTV, which is familiar to everyone. Once the advertisement was broadcast, it touched hundreds of millions of families: the father's love is always there, and the family relationship is eternal. Parents with Alzheimer's disease may forget many things and who you are, but they will never forget to love you.

In fact, advertising is also the shortest communication with people.

If we simply tell the story directly, or simply appeal to the public to care for the family and the elderly, our impression is not so deep at all, and it is impossible to cause a * * * sound, but the story in the advertisement can easily capture our hearts.

Because a lively and interesting story is warmer and more touching than cold data and cruel facts, and makes people accept the views and ideas conveyed in the story.

A lot of practice has proved that good communication, starting with a good story, using story thinking reasonably and influencing others through telling stories will make you get twice the result with half the effort.

How to use story thinking effectively? Zhijing gave three suggestions in the book "Six Paths to Spread Directly to People's Heart":

1, do your homework before communication.

Usually, we should actively accumulate story materials, just like Lu You wrote to his son, "If you want to learn poetry, kung fu is outside the poem." So are we. Only when we have enough stories in peacetime can we get them easily when we need them.

2. Find the starting point of the story in communication.

The author said that if you want to fish, you should think like a fish, be good at using the audience's thinking, observe and understand each other's psychology, listen to and filter the spread information, so as to find the conflict point and cut in at the right time.

3. Be good at creating a sense of picture when telling stories.

In daily communication, it is a virtuous circle for communicators to accept information-identify information-generate trust-and reach communication intention. However, the communication of conflicting details and a sense of pictures will make all these connections easy.

Second, methods and skills: using the law of attraction and paying attention to logic will make the communication link more efficient and smooth.

Communication is inseparable from speaking, and speaking is skillful. The author of "Six Paths to Communicate Directly to People's Heart" points out that voice, corresponding body language, sincerity and credibility, full of emotion, and sticky topics will increase the communicator's attention and make communication attractive. Secondly, paying attention to the content level and rationally integrating logic will make links more efficient and smooth.

I have seen such a passage on the internet, and I think it is quite reasonable:

If you talk to an uneducated farmer about Einstein, he is definitely not interested. On the other hand, you tell him:

Do you know the king of your village, Elpockmark? Do you know the widow Li next door? It seems that they didn't go home yesterday. ......

The other party's ears may stand up immediately, and "Wang Ermazi", "Li Widow" and "not coming home" are the points that attract the attention of the communicated person.

I still remember that the University of Illinois in the United States did an experiment on attention. The research finally showed that people's attention is limited and selective.

In real communication, we should keep our attention, that is, stimulate the interest of the person being communicated. How to stimulate interest is a good example. This is also mentioned by the author in the book, and it is the most important part to make communication directly to people's hearts-setting suspense and letting the other party follow your thoughts.

In addition, the author also emphasizes that in communication, we must try our best to integrate information logic and learn to "slim down" the language. After all, when communicating, the key is to remember the information.

I still remember that at the last 25th anniversary reunion, there was a session in which students were asked to make farewell speeches in turn. Some people usually state their experiences after graduation, holding a microphone for a few minutes, and some are wheeled to pay New Year greetings, which is nothing new. After more than 20 people finished speaking, the only thing that impressed me deeply and was still fresh in my memory was Teacher Xu Guide's speech:

I am very glad to be invited to the 25th anniversary reunion. Today, I just want to say three words:

As a tour guide, I am deeply moved to think of your immature faces in those days. It is gratifying to see that everyone is wonderful in different fields now. I hope our teacher-student relationship will last for a long time, and welcome you to have the opportunity to go back to school often.

These three sentences are remembered by everyone because they are short and not simple: they correspond to reviewing the past, looking forward to the present and looking forward to the future respectively.

Concise statements are not only complete in meaning and clear in logic, but also an important part of communication.

In the book Six Ways to Communicate Directly to People's Heart, the author concludes: Don't make a fuss, learn to "slim down" the language, and don't be afraid of the vernacular. The most important thing in our communication is to be remembered, and remembering is the key to communication.

Third, the effect: emotional resonance with the communicator, making communication more efficient.

Psychologist Rogers told us that * * * emotion refers to the ability to experience the inner world of others. In fact, simply speaking, * * * love is to look at a person's heart and feel the same.

Once a person's emotional ability is aroused, he can have emotional connection with others, which is also the best time to communicate with him.

On the contrary, if people can't be moved by emotions in communication, they can't arouse each other's feelings, so both sides of communication can't produce emotional voices, which will eventually lead to unsatisfactory communication results.

In the sixth season of Seven Overlords, the competition system was even more cruel. Huang Zhizhong PK Qiu Chen's first issue about eliminating the fear of marriage water, Huang Zhizhong was actually backward before the final argument, but with the final argument, he saved the day and turned the tables. The reason is that he made good use of the word * * * in his argument.

Let the audience resonate emotionally, let go of the initial prediction, enter the communication relationship with a more inclusive and open mind, and finally let this relationship develop in a better direction. This kind of emotional communication made Huang's counterattack successful.

Then how can we achieve * * * love? The author gives the following suggestions in "Six Communication Ways that Directly Hit People's Hearts":

Being good at using real scenes in life, because they are real, they are vivid, which will lead to true feelings and more easily infect communicators.

Third, make sure your content is related to the topic of your communication. We don't talk for the sake of talking, nor do we tell stories for the sake of telling stories. But in the process of telling stories and speaking, we should vividly describe our stated views. Only by ensuring the relevance of the theme can we achieve the purpose of communication.

Fourth, let the soul produce links.

The program "Venus Show" has been on the air for several years. To tell the truth, I have never been interested in paying attention because I have a problem with the character Venus. Unexpectedly, after a chance, I was deeply attracted.

After summing up the reasons for being attracted, I found that Venus' conversation rhythm in this program actually has a lot in common with Six Paths to the Heart.

The first thing is "story thinking". At the beginning of the talk show, Venus always blends into a story of her own. The real experience not only has deep attraction, but also shortens the distance with the communicator. Especially in the interview process, Venus always controls the rhythm of the conversation. The interviewees sometimes laugh, sometimes bow their heads and meditate, and sometimes feel angry, which shows that communication has produced good emotions.

In this way, if you want to communicate with people's hearts easily, efficiently and directly, you don't use a single skill and method, but organically integrate the six dimensions of story thinking, emotion, framework, logic, association and attention at the three levels of form, skill and effect, so that there is a link between souls, and each talent will not be an island.