Introversion = bad personality, which is the view of many people, seems to have become a "conclusion."
Indeed, introverts are not good at talking and communicating, and are often in a lonely state. However, people's social attributes make them want to be accepted, affirmed, respected and appreciated by others, and they are eager for communication and blending between people. Therefore, introverts seem stiff and closed on the surface, but their psychological wishes are very open. Therefore, introverts are often in a contradictory pain.
Many books on psychological adjustment and social skills talk about how many introverts have overcome introversion. Although these books are different in specific content, one thing is the same: they all deny introverted personality and overcome introverted personality.
In fact, as far as introverted personality itself is concerned, it should be regarded as both advantages and disadvantages. It should be neutral and should not be labeled as "hateful" or "bad". However, many introverts hate their introversion. They hate being withdrawn, unsociable, afraid to show themselves in public, and timid, as if all their troubles are due to introversion. As we all know, introverted personality is just a representation, and the essence behind it is their lack of self-confidence, lack of courage, poor communication, thin skin and so on, while introverted personality is only the externalized form of these problems, and its core is inferiority. Therefore, only introverts who lack self-confidence will have a negative attitude towards their introversion. In other words, their denial of their introverted personality is essentially a denial of themselves.
It is precisely because of the above confusion of causality that many self-denying introverts blame all their problems on introverts and try to fight to the death with them. They force themselves to show themselves often in public, and they crustily skin of head and associate with all kinds of people, making themselves particularly talkative. However, all this is actually implementing the same "route" of self-denial as before. Do you think this will have any good results?
There is a young man, introverted. I look down on him for fear that others will think him introverted, so I deliberately appear extroverted. When others say one thing together, he actually doesn't understand many topics at all, but pretends to be very good at talking to others. However, apart from being particularly tired, this result still didn't fit into the group and didn't make him feel any sense of gain or pride.
It can be seen that the problems of introverts often come from their denial of introversion and self, which makes them more introverted and inferior when they want to overcome introversion. The reason is that they made the mistake of "route and direction".
On the contrary, if introverts can accept their own personality first, make clear their own advantages in life, work hard with a down-to-earth and steady attitude, find the direction of their success in life, constantly improve their own strength in life and enrich their lives, then you will gradually stop caring about whether you are introverted or not, because you have real confidence in yourself, including your own personality. At that time, you will naturally associate with people and express yourself freely. Why bother about "introversion"?
As soon as the thinking changes, introverts can find many advantages of introversion, for example, introverts can observe and think more calmly, be good at observing other people's minds, let themselves have more time to study without too much socializing, be less influenced by popular ideas but be more creative, have fewer friends but be more solid, and so on.
Although the tortoise is slow, it knows the road better than the rabbit. And many seemingly shortcomings, if viewed from another angle and on another occasion, can often become advantages. Before the invention of stethoscope, doctors had to put their ears on the patient's chest to hear the sound of internal organs. La Erik, a young male doctor in France, is shy and introverted by nature, so she is particularly embarrassed to bury her face in the chest of a female patient. He invented the bamboo tube for auscultation, and after continuous improvement, it has become a widely used stethoscope today.
Therefore, introverted personality can't hinder our success-if we don't think it is an obstacle. In fact, many successful people and celebrities are introverts, but they are by no means self-denying introverts.
Of course, the weaknesses of many introverts, especially their lack of courage, should be overcome, but the premise of overcoming them is to accept themselves. Only in this way can you have confidence and patience in your actions and efforts. In this state of mind, it will be meaningful and effective if you communicate and show.
There is a girl who is a nurse and has always been very annoying. Whenever friends and relatives mention her introversion, she feels ashamed. So she always wants to overcome her introverted personality, such as speaking boldly in front of strangers and being eloquent in front of colleagues. However, this kind of effort always fails, and she is still very introverted. Later, after listening to what I told her, she realized that her real problem was not being introverted, but being unable to accept herself.
After understanding this, she has a new understanding of herself. She said to herself, "I am sincere and honest." Although I don't have many friends, they are all my closest friends. Although I am introverted, I never expose other people's scars or hurt their self-esteem. I have rich imagination, delicate feelings and great sympathy ... "After such" excavation ",she suddenly realized that she still had so many advantages.
After accepting herself, the girl's mental outlook took on a new look. She no longer cares about whether her personality is introverted or not, and she is more and more comfortable in talking and interacting with people. Later, when talking about her personality with others, she proudly said, "I am introverted, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being introverted." Others said in surprise, "Are you an introvert? Why didn't we see it? "
The girl sighed, "it's strange that you admit that you are introverted, but others don't think you are introverted."