In life, as parents, we have a deep understanding and tried countless methods, but when facing children, we still can't help losing our temper and yelling. Even if I regret it every time I lose my temper, and secretly swear that I can't do it again, I will still be angry next time.

Although I have read a lot of parenting knowledge and have been reminded by experts countless times that "yelling is harmful to children", it is really impossible for you to let go of your anger and not yell at your children at all.

Everyone has a temper. Even Ma Bao, who is famous for her gentleness, is unlikely to control her emotions in the face of children's various pranks and disobedience. There are many reasons for this. Let's have a look.

First, the child is disobedient, and it is useless to remind him many times.

Parents have a desire to control their children and want them to do what they want, but children have their own ideas and often don't do what their parents want, so they will be very dissatisfied and can't help yelling at them.

Just like you remind your child to "stop watching TV and do his homework at once", but after 5 minutes 10 minutes, the child is still sitting in front of the TV, and your voice will get louder and louder with the child's delay, and finally shout it out, so that the child seems to be able to hear and will do as you want.

You have tried many ways to make your child obey, but the effect is not so good. In the end, it seems that only yelling can make children obey and gradually become the person you hate the most.

Second, long-term accumulated negative emotions are ignited by children.

Many parents are in a bad mood after a busy day. They may be criticized by their leaders at work, or they may encounter some bad things outside. Just at this time, when they encounter a child making a mistake, they are likely to "ignite" the child's anger and then vent it on the child.

My best friend was once fined 200 yuan by the company for his work mistakes, and he was unhappy all day. After work, her electric car was stolen, and her mood was even worse. In order to adjust her mind, she bought two cups of milk tea, one for herself and one for the children.

When I got home, I was busy cooking, so I put the milk tea in the living room and told the children that one cup was yours and the other was mom's. After cooking, I found that two cups of milk tea were drunk by the children, and my girlfriend suddenly collapsed. I yelled at the child: "I told you, you can only drink yours, and I don't want to drive mine." Why don't you listen! "

The collapse of adults is often only in an instant, and a lot of negative emotions accumulate in the heart. Maybe it's just because a child makes a small mistake that it will ignite, so many treasure moms will regret it after yelling.

Third, the child's performance is far from the psychological expectation.

Parents have an expectation that their children will reach that level. For example, when a child is studying, parents think that the child's level should be in the top ten in the class, but after the grades come down, they find that the child has only entered the twentieth place.

The gap between before and after is too big for parents to accept. They think their children should do it, but they are not satisfied, so they lose their temper and yell at their children.

Here is not much to say about the harm of yelling to children's growth. How to change the status quo and face the growth of children in a better state is the direction that all parents should learn.

First, learn to put yourself in the other's shoes.

Many parents treat their children's behavior with a relatively high attitude, that is to say, they don't put themselves in the same position as their children, and naturally use their parents' deterrence to ask their children what you are doing for me. Come on, stop dawdling!

This kind of pressure will make the child feel uncomfortable and gradually ignore the voice that denies you, so when you give the child an order again, the resistance will be greater and greater.

Therefore, we have always advocated that parents make friends with their children, put themselves in the same position as their children, learn to put themselves in the children's shoes, understand their behavior habits and personality, and help their children make progress through effective communication and recognition.

Second, parents should be kind to themselves.

Many parents focus on their work and children all their lives. They are under great pressure and have a lot of negative emotions. They are too hard on themselves and unstable inside.

In fact, parents should also learn to decompress themselves. If they want to take good care of their children, they also need a good mood. This good mood can be a cup of milk tea, a love word from a relative, or a rose. A good mood can last for a long time, and tolerance for children will last longer.

Third, lower expectations.

Every child makes mistakes, and it is normal to grow up in crime. Parents can try to lower their expectations and have a reasonable expectation for their children.

If you ask too much, you will be under great pressure, and so will your children. Always vent your anger on children, and children will only behave worse and worse.

Therefore, in order to reduce the times of yelling at children, Ma Bao should try to change his state and learn better parenting concepts, so as to solve the problems in children's growth.