After the candy experiment, the researchers followed these children for many years. They found that children who successfully resist temptation seem to have more social adaptability and self-confidence when they grow up, and they can resist the urge to be satisfied immediately when they pursue their goals, just like when they were young. Moreover, their academic performance is better, their academic qualifications are higher, their weight is healthier and they are less likely to abuse substances. This is a classic experiment about self-control. As the saying goes, "you are old at the age of three, but you are old at the age of seven." From the control of children's emotions and behaviors, it is not difficult for us to see the trend of children's life.
Self-control is also an ability to delay satisfaction. Specifically, this is a choice orientation that is willing to give up immediate satisfaction for more valuable long-term results, and the self-control ability shown during the waiting period. Not only children but also adults find it difficult to exercise self-discipline. For example, you always lie on the sofa at home when you know that exercise is beneficial; Knowing that going to bed early is good for your health, always brush your mobile phone until late at night; I know it's not delicious to eat at night, but I still can't help cooking bowls of instant noodles. You chose the latter without thinking and hesitation in the long run and now, and maybe you will have a little regret and remorse. But instant gratification and indulgence again and again make your will weaker and weaker, and you don't even believe that you can control yourself. Just like when I was in college, I would bring back a lot of books every holiday, only to find that I didn't read any at the end of the holiday, and so on, I would never bring back books.
In one's life, many achievements, big and small, depend on self-control. For example, the success of slimming is the resistance to the temptation of food. Learning a language well and passing the exam is the result of resisting temptation, being distracted and studying hard. It is not difficult to find that successful people around us through the ages can give up their temporary enjoyment and resist the harm of bad temptations in this world of music and sound.
Self-discipline is a mature performance. Margaret Thatcher said: "The secret of all growth lies in self-restraint. If you learn to control yourself, you will have the best teacher. " Nowadays, more and more children grow up in a doting environment, and parents give them whatever they want, fearing to miss anything, thinking that they have given their children the best. But in the long run, children are likely to push their luck, cry if they are not satisfied at all, and don't know how to control their emotions. When you grow up, your willpower is weak, and it is difficult to persist in the face of difficulties or challenges.
Some people say that self-discipline is a painful thing, and you must constantly suppress your inner impulse. But in fact, people who know self-discipline are happy and full. They have their own principles, can rationally control their impulses and even desires, and finally get more and better "candy". How to exercise self-control effectively? The following two points may help you improve the success rate of self-control.
1. Attention distribution
In the face of temptation, if you focus on temptation or I want to resist, it will often backfire. Children who close their eyes and do other things in candy experiments may consciously pay attention to other things;
Refine the target
Break down your goals into specific tasks and don't make too ambitious plans. Don't forget to reward yourself after completing each phased task.
? Of course, if you find that your self-control is poor, don't criticize yourself in a hurry. Self-criticism doesn't help to improve your self-control. You might as well look for the reason from the heart, know yourself and know what you want, and everything will become simple. Life is short, it is interesting to say what you do. Only by learning to restrain and relax can you see the most beautiful scenery.