The real friends around you have little to do with your beauty and ugliness, and whether you have money or not. Below, I collected and sorted out all kinds of paragraphs in Chinese characters. Let's learn humor and collect popularity together!

China's joke story is hilarious 1 1. There was a man named Shuang, and one day he died. His family burst into tears at home: "Cool! Cool! " Their neighbors saw it and asked them what was going on. They said, "Great, great."

2。 Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said, "My door is made of plastic." The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said, "My door is a wooden door." The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said, "My door is a brick door." The door of the Liu family is made of steel. Liu said: "You talk, I'll go first!"

3。 The students of normal college said: I am from normal college. The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute". The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges. The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first.

Chinese character joke story hilarious 2 "I am a pig"

When I was in college, it was a common practice to arch pigs in my class, and I would arch them every night. People who start to lose use their noses to arch cards, drill tables and drink cold water. It's been playing for a long time, and it's not fresh.

So someone suggested that if someone lost again, they would shout "I am a pig" in the corridor. After a long time, they changed their methods and asked two people to shout together. The first person shouted "I am a pig" and the second person shouted "I am a pig".

But I didn't expect the man who proposed to marry me to lose twice in a row, so he shouted at the corridor: "I am a pig, I am really a pig." The others laughed their heads off. A friend of mine told me it was even more ridiculous! The loser wants to call the girls in the class and sincerely says, "You know, there are three things I've always wanted to say to you, but it's hard to say, but I'm afraid I won't have a chance if I don't say it again. I ... I am a pig! "

Our place is worse. The winner designates a person (usually an unwitting tiger, building manager or girl), and then the loser grabs him or her by the collar and says, "You are a pig!" " Also, the loser will run to the telephone pole with some disease advertisement and shout, "I'm cured!" " "Later, everyone called the girl and said sincerely," You know, I lied to you. In fact, I am a pig. " Once, the class teacher of a certain gentleman called to congratulate him on winning the "three good students" and just said, "XXX, do you know?" The girl said impatiently, "I know, you are a pig, and you are really a complete idiot!" " "

How did it break?

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. An asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

China joke story hilarious 3 1 Jing said to "pin":

"Your home is not decorated? 」

2, "husband" said to "day":

"I finally look forward to this day! 」

3, "bear" said to "can":

"How poor like this? All four bear paws are sold!

4, "C" said to "2":

"When did you get married? 」

5, "ping" said to "pong":

"You and I are all the same, a disabled soldier. 」

6. Bing said to Autumn:

"Brother, stepped on a mine, the leg was blown up? 」

7, "king" said to "emperor":

"What are the benefits of being an emperor? Look, my hair is all white! 」

8. "Mouth" means "back":

"Dear, all pregnant for so long, also don't say! 」

9. "Ye" said to "She":

"When the boss? Take a secretary when you go out! 」

10, "Tian" said to "Dan":

"When did you learn to skateboard? 」

1 1, "Guo" said to "Naked":

"Dude, you'd better not wear clothes! 」

12, "You" said to "A":

"When did you learn to stand on your head? 」

Father: The young monk is practicing calligraphy so early.

Little monk: Yes. Master only taught me four words.

Father: Then why did you only write the word "Wang"? There are three more words.

Little monk: I wrote four words together.

Father: Why didn't I see the other three words?

Little monk: The other three words are "one", "two" and "three", and if you add a vertical, it is the word "Wang".

Father: Chinese characters are amazing. Four strokes are four words. The words "one", "two" and "three" are clear at a glance, but how to add a vertical column to the word "three" to make it a "king" and a king?

Little monk: Master said that the top horizontal plane is the sky, and the bottom horizontal plane is the earth. A horizontal plane represents people, and people are between heaven and earth, right?

Father: Yes, that makes sense. So, what does that vertical bar stand for?

Little monk: Master said that the one who represents heaven and earth and can connect them is the "king".

Priest: Oh, my God. Chinese characters are really mysterious. No wonder you call' God'' Lord'.

Little monk, do you also have a sentence?

Father: Yes, look at the word "Lord", which means adding a little bit to the word "king". It turns out that your's ancestors knew for a long time that the big "king" can't connect heaven and earth, but our "Lord" is above heaven and earth! You'd better believe in God.

The old monk rushed out: nonsense!

Father: Oh, why are you here? It gives me goose bumps.

Old monk: Don't pretend to be exquisite. You have a thick skin. Let's call it what you call "goose bumps"-goose bumps. Do you think our ancestors wrote the word "Lord" like this?

Priest: What did they write?

Old monk: Look at our "explanation".

Priest: What is this?

Old monk: This is the "master", with the lampstand at the bottom and the rotor in the middle. Our ancestors said, "Lord, the fire in the lamp is also Lord." Your little foreign ink is not enough to be a character test teacher, and you want to accept an apprentice?

Chinese character joke story hilarious 5 words

A clerk wrote on the blackboard the words "It's on sale now".

A customer next to him said, "Comrade, you wrote' zero' in retail."

The salesman glared at the customer and said, "Come on, there is a vertical knife next to the word' no'!"

A mispronounced or misspelled character.

A student loves to write typos and always writes rest as drinking.

In his diary, he wrote, "The squad leader instructed us to carry shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to take a sip." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back. "

Bubble gum

In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "fresh fish!" " "At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:" bubble gum! The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you. "

Buy a car

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because there was no Geely license plate number in the garage. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

examination performance

In the middle school class, the teacher of the course of socialist economic theory (hereinafter referred to as social economics) is angrily reading out the exam results: everyone failed in this exam. Obviously, you didn't spend your energy on social economics. In fact, social economics is a very simple course. If you work hard, you will get results ... Read the results below: Yang Wei, failed in social economics. ...

Learn English.

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he walked into a foreigner by accident. He said shyly, "I'm sorry. 」

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"Sorry five ..." Xiao Ming said.

Eat standing up

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang his son, he said to his master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles."

I found out that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", so I quickly agreed and ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pig livers. Be smart!"

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and gave a pair of pig ears.

Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

Chinese character joke story hilarious 6 eat a catty

The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".

Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).

The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."

There is only one channel.

The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions, fiddled with them and said to himself, "Everything is fine, but there is only one channel!" " ".Old three watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked," Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have one more channel, so I can connect to the computer. "

How much is it to sleep in jiaozi?

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.

Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese and say "Go to sleep (jiaozi)". how much is it?

The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

Can you tell me something about Jing Yue?

I took "China Ancient Literature". In my first class, the teacher talked about Confucianism, main figures and representative works, including "Four Books" and "Five Classics". A few minutes before class, the teacher asked the students to ask questions freely. A girl in the front row stood up and asked, "I saw Jing Yue mentioned in some books. Can you tell me what Jing Yue is about? " . There was a burst of laughter in the classroom.

Today is a big day for two students.

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.

How much is a night's sleep (bowl) in jiaozi?

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?"

The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread."

Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch the bun."

The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" "

Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? Too cheap! "

Trust me if you can. Let me see how long you are.

Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always stink, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to smile. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth strike the table and said excitedly, "There is a pair at last!" " Drag them out first, and then get it done slowly! "At this moment, a girl persistently said," Don't worry if you have the skill! "! I want to see how long you are! "

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