Among all negative emotions, anxiety is the most common one. Probably everyone has had the feeling of "I can't say why, but I feel inexplicable fear", probably because I am afraid of losing control of a certain situation or worrying that something bad will happen.

Anxiety affects people in all aspects:

Physiologically, people have physiological reactions such as rapid heartbeat, muscle tension and sweating.

_ Psychologically, anxiety will lead to the subjective experience of fear and anxiety, and even a sense of dying in severe cases.

_ Behaviorally, it restricts people's ability to act and express themselves. Under the pressure of death, we postpone it again and again.

What can we do in the face of anxiety to share the following 8 tips with you? Let's take a look ~

0 1 What you are worried about will (almost) not happen.

Many people confuse anxiety with fear, but they are actually two different feelings. People's fear is usually caused by a specific thing or situation outside, and it is right in front of them. For example, you may be afraid that you can't finish the work within the deadline, or you may be left out by the person you like. In contrast, when people feel anxious, they often can't tell what they are worried about.

This is also the definition of anxiety in psychiatry: "When there is no clear objective object of tension and fear, it is generally the expression of anxiety", that is, anxiety comes from imaginary danger.

So you will be anxious because of work pressure-you are worried about losing your job, losing your source of income, and worrying that you can't live; You will be anxious about being single after 30-what if you don't meet the right partner in your life? What should I do when I am old?

This is really terrible, but this "danger" is not in sight, and the possibility of it happening is only slim. It can also be understood that you are "punishing" yourself today with your imagination of the future-it is unnecessary to say hard work to yourself today.

What should I do when anxiety strikes? Relax first.

When anxiety is serious, there will be obvious physical symptoms, such as muscle tension, sweating, palpitation or palpitation, difficulty falling asleep, etc.

If anxiety makes you feel strongly uncomfortable, the first thing to do is to "relax". Here is a simple exercise to share with you. (ps。 Relaxation also needs practice. You can do it when you have nothing to do, and you will be more familiar with it. )

_ Find an easy place to relax and try to keep quiet and private.

_ Take a long breath slowly, stretch slowly, and step on the floor slowly.

_ Turn your attention to yourself and pay attention to the nerve parts of your body. It may be that your shoulders are a little stiff, and you feel a heavy turtle shell on your back and sweat on your hands.

_ Relax the tense muscle groups 2 ~ 3 times one by one, including fingers, palms, arms, shoulders, neck, face, chest, abdomen, thighs, calves and toes. Pay attention to the feeling of relaxation, realize the difference between muscle relaxation and tension, and then keep it in a relaxed state for a period of time.

Don't be fooled by caffeine and alcohol.

When my friend Amy drank two glasses of whisky at eleven o'clock in the morning, she was finally willing to admit some problems-first, she was very anxious these days: the pressure from her new boss and the relationship with her boyfriend had gone wrong; Secondly, she has been trying to relieve anxiety by drinking, and she drinks more and more.

Many anxious people will cheer themselves up by drinking a lot of coffee and wine. They do make people feel good (in the short term), but they don't realize that it will aggravate their anxiety.

The Anxiety Self-Help Manual pointed out the related research: "As long as you drink 1 pint of beer with normal intensity, you can measure the increase of anxiety level the next day. After this situation is repeated many times, the sense of anxiety will really increase significantly. 」

Coffee and wine are great, but don't let them be your safe haven from anxiety.

Look up at the sky when you don't want to do anything.

Matt Herold, an English writer, suffered from depression and anxiety. In Anxiety Planet Notes, he shared a little thing he often did when his anxiety recurred-looking up at the sky.

When staring at the sky, all our troubles in 2 1 century will disappear in the background of the universe. The sky is bigger than e-mail, deadlines, mortgages and internet abuse, bigger than our brain and mental illness, bigger than our name, country, date and time. Compared with the sky, our worldly troubles are fleeting. No matter how many years we have lived, no matter how many chapters in human history have been turned over, the sky will always be the sky.

The bed in my room is near a big window, which means that I can always lie in bed and look at the sky outside and the clouds floating around, and my mind will become calm.

It's no shame not to watch the news, not to go to Weibo and not to go offline.

Anxiety is not entirely your fault. Many people often ignore that modern society, especially the Internet, is also a major culprit of anxiety.

The essence of traffic is rendering anxiety, so it is no wonder that you are always excited by online information-advertisers know this, online celebrity bloggers know this, and news editors know this. The idea of selling to us can be summed up in one sentence: "We are not good enough now, so we should try to be better people."

So use the latest cream; Eat raw eggs; Learning self-discipline requires 999 yuan to get up early; Enhance cognition; Learn short video marketing right away.

It's strange not to be anxious

Therefore, it is necessary for us to keep in mind the following matters: it is not shameful not to watch the news. There's nothing shameful about not going to Weibo. There is no shame in going offline.

For a while, I shut down those anxious bloggers and media (pay attention to your feelings, as long as you feel uncomfortable, you can block them); Close the circle of friends for half a year. My life has not gotten worse-on the contrary, it is refreshing.

It is difficult to move mountains, but you can pick up the pebbles under your feet first.

In the case of persistent anxiety, people tend to avoid things that make them feel anxious, or avoid everything, which is natural. This is how procrastination occurs. But the problem is that avoidance often aggravates anxiety.

Sometimes I don't do things, but my mood is not relaxed. Even if you play, you can't concentrate completely. It seems that two forces are tearing at my heart. We all know that action can relieve anxiety, but the question is, how to start action?

Try to concretize your task, break it down into many parts, and then choose the one that makes you least stressed. This method is very effective for me. I named this small task "Start the program".

For example, if you want to write a 3000-word elective thesis (_ _ ♀ _ is really an arduous task), your startup program can be: create a folder and write the name of the thesis. Or: download some papers you want to read to the desktop.

I have to finish shooting a video at the weekend (_ _ ♀ _ I have to put on makeup and change clothes, and I really want to shoot it again). The start-up procedure can be: first, paint a makeup, no matter whether you shoot it or not, it is always right to paint a makeup, and you are quite happy (you will be surprised to find that after you put on your makeup, you will shoot a video! Haha ~)

The most difficult and important step to deal with anxiety is the first step. Take this step, and the next thing will be much less resistance.

Tell a new story to your "fear"

Sometimes, changing the narrative style can make you look at anxiety from a new angle.

Dr. Tim Cantopher, a British psychiatrist, likes to ask anxious visitors to describe three possible developments of the current situation, namely, the worst, the best and the most likely. For example, if you are extremely anxious about your work report-

_ Worst case: You get into a long pause in the report, then you get dizzy and vomit, and finally you are carried off the stage with the laughter of everyone. However, the possibility of this situation is estimated to be similar to the probability of winning the lottery. _ Best case: You performed perfectly and made an excellent report. It is a little more likely than the last time, but it is still unlikely to happen.

_ Most likely scenario: You will succeed. It's not perfect, but it should be good. People will see that you are nervous, but so what? In fact, this situation is very likely to happen.

We often spend a lot of time imagining the best and worst cases, but in fact, you should accept the most likely inference-not so good, not so bad. Things tend to develop in this direction.

Imagine life as an adventure in an amusement park.

The two years that I just graduated from work were the culmination of my anxiety. When I entered the society from school, I was like a boat thrown into the vast sea. I have to take care of everything by myself. It's terrible-why is the boat going so slowly? What if I capsize? The future is vague. Where will I sail?

So I arranged a lot of work for myself, and I was very busy every day. As you can imagine, everything is just worse. It is impossible (and unnecessary) to find a definite course and lighthouse for yourself on the sea.

Later, I began to imagine life as an amusement park. Since there is a time when the park closes, my main task is to experience and take risks as much as possible, to have fun and enjoy it. So I began to imagine and expect projects that I had never experienced before, and they brought me no longer just endless fears and worries.

There is a scene in the American drama "Beautiful Girl" in which a 92-year-old grandmother in Brooklyn, new york is interviewed and asked what is the secret of her longevity.

"I wake up every day and ask myself, what should I do today to make myself happy? This is the best way to live, because you will stand up and say, well, I will do this for myself first. " Grandma said.

When reading a psychological counselor's treatment notes, I was deeply impressed by a group of conversations between him and his patients:

"Why can't I please everyone? 」

"Because we will die. 」

"Why can't I do everything I want to do? 」

"Because we will die. 」

I am thinking that the essence of anxiety is death anxiety, which may not be eliminated at all.

But that doesn't mean we need to be prisoners of anxiety. We can still look up at the sky, stick to regular exercise, and live every moment as well as possible while acknowledging our limitations.

References ——

Tang Hongyu and Fang co-edited. Psychiatry, 20 19 April, People's Health Publishing House.

Shiloh the Prisoner, translated by Li Yaping, Notes on Anxious Planet, June 438+09, 2065, Jiangxi People's Publishing House.

English Tim Kantoff, translated by Jiang, Anxiety Self-help Manual: It is not difficult to overcome anxiety at all, March 2022, Zhejiang People's Publishing House.