Inspirational good article sharing: don't deny your own value casually. There are always some people in this city who are used to denying themselves. Full of frustration and frustration. It's not good to see your own value, and that's not good either. Then envy others' goodness or dream of an ideal state.
I am one of them. Struggle in Beijing, can not find the direction, can not find a way out, can not find value. With a monthly salary of 2000 yuan, I dare not invite people to dinner, or even eat meat easily, let alone talk about friends. In the face of ideals, all real life is extravagant. What is even more frightening is that I have no experience, no ability and no accumulation. What I can't accept most is that I am lazy and not enterprising enough, but there is no sign of change for a long time. You don't need wealth, talent, or even appearance. A few years later, I'm still struggling. Then I feel useless, I don't know what's the point of living in such pain, and then I comfort myself with sinking. Only when I go home occasionally will I talk to my friends about the place where I work, Beijing. I don't know whether a sense of pride or inferiority rises from my heart. Only when you hear friends say that you are good here and good there, do you begin to be dubious. Only when my friends listed a series of advantages with envious eyes did I begin to reflect on why I should deny myself so much.
When I began to pay attention, I found that many people, like me, have been denying themselves.
They deny themselves for the same reason as me: they are left behind when they are old, and they feel like dying alone when they can't find anyone; No talent, no looks, ordinary to be unnoticed, I think this is the tragedy of life; Leading a meager salary and hating their incompetence; Persevere desperately but can't find the direction, lose the ideal and feel that there is no future; I am lazy and procrastinate, I am incompetent and have no progress, and I feel that I deserve a miserable life. In short, the ending is the same. I feel worthless and useless. I have no future, no partner, no feeling of living, no meaning of life.
But I'm curious, since I'm so bad, I've always been so bad. What makes you live well? Is it really because you are too bad to deny yourself? Obviously not. With bill? Gatsby, we are all too poor. Compared with Yao Ming, we are all too short. With Marilyn? Marilyn, our situation is really bad. Compared with Chow Yun Fat, we are a little ugly. We can always find someone better than us. Does this mean that we must deny ourselves?
You said, they are all celebrities, you don't expect to reach that level, you just want to have a normal ability. But you tell me where the line is. Compared with children who can't eat, you are superior, compared with people who are sick in bed, you are too healthy, and compared with girls who are disfigured by fire, you are too beautiful. Compared with your uncle sweating on the construction site, you are too comfortable in the office. So where is this normal or comparative standard?
In this world, there are always some people who are better than us in some ways, which makes us feel ashamed. We wanted to be that person, but we didn't, and then we got depressed, and then we denied ourselves. But do you know his pain? We envy those young and promising consultants, but we can't see his parents divorced in his early years when he was growing up. He just wants to have a normal home like us. We envy the rich boy who inherited his father's legacy, but he just wants to use all his money to buy his father a year's time, and envy our poor but healthy parents. We envy the all-powerful female leader in the unit, but she is almost forty years old and can't walk the red carpet. She envies us for living an ordinary life but having a harmonious family. Many people we envy are envious of us.
It sounds like everyone has advantages and disadvantages, and everyone has good side and bad side. All we have to do is not to compare. We can't be that perfect person, we are the best in all aspects. Some people will be better than us in some aspects, but these people also envy us in some other aspects. Envy what we take for granted but they can't afford.
Since there are no perfect people, we only need to look at our own strengths and places, and it is easy to feel the value. We are all half a glass of water, depending on whether you see the empty part or the part.
We have so many resources that we ignore them, and it is difficult to find them when we often tap our own advantages or values.
We can work in Beijing, but we don't feel the value. We enjoy the air conditioning in the office and feel worthless. We are healthy, but we don't feel valuable. Our parents used to love us so much that we felt worthless. I can still struggle when I am young and feel worthless. We can afford to rent a house in Beijing, but we don't feel the value. We can eat enough and feel worthless.
But in a different environment, it feels different. Back home, we brought Beijing's special products to our relatives and friends and enjoyed the envious eyes of those who worked in Beijing; When we go to the orphanage to give relief and love, we are grateful for the happiness given by our parents; When we eat with the workers who decorate the house, we miss the air conditioning temperature of the unit; When we visit the hospital, we are happy for our health; When chatting with a friend who just lost his job, I felt that I could get 2,000 yuan, and I was complacent.
Things that make you feel bad will also make you feel good. Sense of value is a very strange thing, and it is also a trait we have. Sometimes it makes us feel good, sometimes it makes us feel bad, but we haven't changed ourselves. Is it because the environment has changed and our values have changed? In other words, the environment controls our values.
Where is our value based?
Many years ago, before I started studying psychology, I heard that happiness is determined by your neighbors. When you have what your neighbors don't have, you will feel valuable and happy. What a sad idea that our own sense of value is actually controlled by the environment. Our value is based on the environment.
Sometimes, when others praise us and say a lot about us, we feel proud and happy. When others say that we are not good and that we have many shortcomings, we feel sad and nothing is good. They often base their values on other people's judgments. If we are engaged in civil servants, some people envy our work, and some people say that we are content with the status quo. If we eat two plates of meat, some people say that we are wasting, and some people say that we love ourselves. If we make a lot of money, some people say that we can do it, and some people say that we are lacking in spirit. If we get high marks in the exam, some people say that we study well and some people say that we are nerds. When we hear different words, we will have different feelings.
Do we want to build our value on the environment, so where does our sense of value come from when we are alone without the environment? Do we want to build our sense of value on others? What should we do when different people say we are different?
Everything in us is a resource, but we look at it from different angles. Some people will feel inferior because they are fat, while others will call themselves? Tang dynasty beauty? The latter is more attractive. Some people will resist saying that they are inarticulate and unsociable, while others appreciate their quietness and shyness, while the latter will appreciate themselves. Some people will hate themselves for being too stubborn and losing too many opportunities, while others will appreciate their persistence.
Nothing is good or bad, but we have the same qualities in us, but we use adjectives to describe them. But when we restore him, he is still just a trait we have. Stubbornness is actually persistence, flattery is actually love, and accusation is actually strength. Nearly 30 years old is a mature beauty, too ordinary and safe. Defense is to protect yourself. If we shrink from comparison and judgment, it is only one of our characteristics. It doesn't matter whether it is good or bad.
We are all half a glass of water, and no one will fill it. There are free parts and some parts. What you see is what you have.
Liu Yu: A day is longer. When I began to show all the classic symptoms of leftover women, someone asked, what kind of person are you looking for? I said: I want to find someone who grew up with me.
Of course this is true, but I was already 30 when I said this.
I want to find a person who has an appetite for fresh knowledge, improved personality and expanded emotions. I have such an appetite, so I want to find an ambitious person.
Whenever I do nothing all day, I begin to feel anxious. Whenever I do nothing for two days, I start to get upset. Every time I do nothing for three days, I start to freak out. I can't, I can't. I haven't done anything for three days. I can't sleep well, as if I had killed three innocent children.
Of course, eating, sleeping and buying daily necessities don't count? What did you do? Purely out of mission? Mentality, and the work you do doesn't count? What did you do? . If you do one thing, you really have to do one thing.
Marx said that production is divided into? Simple copy? And then what? Expand reproduction? . So, can life also be divided into? Simple life? And then what? Expand and live again? ..... How? Eat, sleep and buy daily necessities, all to maintain life? Simple life? What do I yearn for? Expand and live again? . Read a good book, find a good CD, watch a good movie, write a complete article, have a hearty conversation and have a meal with good friends. What is this? Expand and live again? .
Therefore, I don't envy those people who are particularly rich. They eat bird's nest and shark's fin for dinner and sleep in a five-star hotel. Is it a fancy version? Simple life? That's all. I don't envy, I'm busy with my photosynthesis.
But, sadly, a simple life? Always crowding you out? Expand and live again? Time and energy. A meeting will be organized this month, a paper will be written next month, and a fund application report will be submitted next month? Ah, are those us? Have to? What I did was like an ugly old man with an arranged marriage, which blocked a girl's desire to elope. Sometimes, I don't even? Have to? I'm not doing anything. I am angry at its condescending attitude. Obviously it is a thing that only leads to a simple life, but it is so arrogant, so bold and so hostile to happiness, so I closed my eyes and covered my ears. For days, weeks, months, I really didn't do anything. As an idle empire, I watched my territory being eaten away.
This seems to be the case recently. Not much reading, not much watching movies, not much writing, and chatting with friends. I feel like I'm dying bit by bit, and then I can't take it anymore. Finally, I went to see a drama, and deliberately chose a drama with a heavy theme, World War I, the Soviet Union, Britain, art, nothingness and mental hospitals.
I walked out of the theater with tears in my eyes and walked on the sultry street in new york in midsummer. I am full of energy at last. With so many heavy emotions and problems in my mind, it seems that I have gone to the bank ATM. The slow spinach was soaked in cold water and stood up heavily, heavily and proudly.
Inspirational good article sharing: after 29 years old, some things will lose face if you do it again. I have asked many young people in their twenties how old they think they are. There is almost only one answer, that is, 30 years old! The second question for young people in their twenties is, how will they feel when they are old? The answer is also very consistent, they will think? There are many things I can't do. Well, I'm still young in my twenties. What should I do?
After 29, you will be an old man in the workplace.
What should you do when you are in your twenties and young? Most of them are dreams! People in their twenties have ideals, enthusiasm and the most courage to pursue their dreams. At this age, there is a list of priorities, dream first, reality second. When dreams and reality are intertwined, reality is often left behind and cannot be stopped. The only idea is to pursue dreams!
In my twenties, work is not a dream, but it belongs to the realistic level. They know that they must find a good job for their own good, but at the emotional level, work is purely necessary, but it is not important. It is the most important thing to realize their dreams. When there is a conflict between work and dreams, work will naturally give way and give priority to realizing dreams. The problem is that time waits for no one. In just a few years, it is inevitable to do these two things well at the same time, and there are always regrets.
When I sit in my office, young people in their twenties often submit their resignations for reasons related to their dreams:
? I want to go to Africa to be a volunteer for one year and dedicate myself. ?
? My friend and I are going to open a cheese shop to sell our favorite books and CDs. ?
? I want to develop products, such as blankets and clothes, which can make a great contribution. ?
Young people in their twenties should pursue their dreams! The mantra they often talk about is:
? Work is not the whole of life! ?
? We are not working machines, work hard and play hard! ?
But please pay attention! From your twenties to thirties, it's only a few years, and then you'll be 30 in the blink of an eye, which means that young people are old? Moreover, at the age of 30, not only do you feel old, but the outside world also feels old.
The headhunting market is mainly looking for middle and senior talents. Guess what age group they are looking for? Not a middle-aged senior bird over 40 years old, the age group that headhunting companies mainly attract is actually 32 to 35 years old. ? With the rapid update of science and technology and the rapid change of industry, middle-aged people may not be able to integrate their knowledge and experience seamlessly. The boss of a headhunting company told me that in some industries, the general manager candidate is for people aged 32 to 35. ?
After the age of 29, looking for a job again will be looked down upon.
After 29, there is no independent stage in the workplace. What do you think of the headhunting market? It's hopeless! ? Only three short words, no room, no pity. Such a person will not be the star of tomorrow in the headhunting market, and it is concluded that such a person will only be an ordinary person in the future.
Seeing this, some people will be unconvinced, saying that the headhunting market doesn't want us, which is different from finding a job on a job search website! You're right. There must be a lot of work waiting for you. It's not difficult to find a job on the job website.
Wait a minute! According to my five years' experience in the job search website, I can't help but tell you a statistic. Among the job seekers who use job websites, 60% are under 30, 20% are between 3/kloc-0 and 35, and the remaining 20% are between 36 and 60. In other words, young people in their twenties are the mainstream of job seekers on job-hunting websites, and the number has dropped sharply after the age of 29. What does this mean? Looking for a job is something that young people in their twenties do; People over the age of 30 mainly rely on job-hopping and poaching, and rarely find jobs on job-hunting websites.
? Strange, this man is in his thirties and has work experience. Why is he still looking for a job on the job website? This is a question that I often hear from enterprises. Enterprises are eager to find senior veterans on the job search website, but when he saw such resumes in Paradise, he was also ambivalent and wanted to know why these veterans were not poached. At this age, you have to take your resume to apply for a job.
After the age of 29, there are fewer chips for job hunting.
Of course, the company will ask this person everywhere to find out if he has ever been in the workplace. What's the matter? , otherwise? For this? In the end, the company will give priority to people in their thirties. Old bird in the workplace? But the whole use process can be said to be cautious and fearful.
Obviously, looking for a job on the job search website after the age of 29 is old as far as the enterprise is concerned! So what you are likely to encounter is that the headhunting market does not want you, and the job search website does not want to see you.
Well, now that you are in your twenties, please close your eyes and think about it. Who will dig for you in three to five years? If you can't figure out who can dig the corner, it's really important, because you don't have a few years to be romantic, naive, stupid and confused. If you spend all your twenties chasing dreams and then return to the workplace, I'm afraid it's all over? Marriageable age? The dominance you can master is also weak.
Dreams are the most beautiful, but not too much.
The biggest difference between 20-year-old fresh people and 30-year-old working birds is that they still have dreams, but it is also difficult to concentrate on their work, and their thoughts are always erratic. They want to work hard today, go to Tibet for a holiday tomorrow, and plan to go to the United States for a master's degree the day after tomorrow? Uncertainty and disorientation lead to self-exhaustion and waste of time.
We all agree that chasing dreams is the unshirkable responsibility of people in their twenties. We should be brave enough to do what we dream, but at the same time, please keep the first principle: don't dream too much, don't be irrelevant, and pull yourself away like a multi-headed carriage. Choose a dream, work hard to realize it, and don't give up easily. Many people talk about their dreams, but their hearts are full of bubbles, but they have no real motivation, and they are unwilling to work hard and sacrifice their dedication. It's not a dream at all, but an excuse that high heels don't work at most!
The second principle of chasing dreams is to set a timetable, such as two or three years, and it is recommended to spend the rest of the time at work. This is a safe way to reduce occupational risks. When you are in your twenties, please accumulate at least three years of work experience, concentrate on your work, strive for professional performance, establish a good reputation, and give you courage when changing tracks.
Choose only one dream, only one career direction, because you don't have much time to change. In the twenties, besides chasing dreams, finding a suitable job should also be listed as an equally important event.
In his twenties, he had no sense of time.
It's hard to realize that the greatest asset of young people in their twenties is time? Not much time? Most people feel the urgency? There is plenty of time. Don't worry. Take your time, and you can always find a job that suits you? . It is this illusion of time that makes them relaxed. After their golden age, they begin to want to establish their own direction in life like waking up from a big dream. The problem is that society's judgment of age is completely opposite to that of young people in their twenties!
The Japanese made a survey many years ago and found that 28 years old is the key age for a person to mature. You have to make decisions on many important choices, such as: which line of work you want to take, whether you want to start a business, whether you want to get married, whether you want to have children, and so on. And these all need to be thought over again before you can make a decision at the age of 28. But today's young people are likely to be employed for the first time at the age of 28, and they can't clearly grasp the direction of life. How can he make a decision?
Although the law stipulates that there should be no age discrimination in employment, all enterprises have an unspoken rule: after the age of 28, men and women frequently change jobs or their positions are inconsistent after the age of 32, they will silently post them? Mental instability? 、? Divorced from reality? Such as negative labels, equivalent to branding? Not credible? These four big characters. And your resume will accompany you all your life, and you may never get rid of these four words.
In his twenties, he had no sense of direction.
So, you don't have many years to blindly look for a job! I use it? Blind? This word is not for fashion, but for accurate description! It is true that many people are blind when looking for a job, almost with their eyes closed.
Ivy studied statistics in college, but she is not interested in this subject and doesn't know what to do after graduation. Cousin asked her to sell fried chicken in the university area, and Ivy agreed at once, dreaming of becoming the queen of fried chicken one day. This job is not romantic, fried oil will be sprayed on your hands, and your hands will be covered with pits and scars; The younger sister selling pot-stewed vegetables next door is bolder than her, and the crowd is taken away; She works part-time and works part-time, but she can't take a holiday on weekends, so her boyfriend cheated? After half a year, my cousin closed the stall and Ivy lost her job.
Ivy thought about it and thought of a way. She has always been the king of creativity among her classmates, and decided to apply for a marketing plan, but she kept hitting a wall because she couldn't think of any marketing cases. The job search is not smooth, which makes her feel that since she can't adapt to private enterprises, she may be suitable to be a civil servant. So she changed her mind and took money from her parents to prepare for the public office exam. A year later, as expected, she was not admitted, and her parents advised her to look for a job again. It has been two years since she graduated, and she has no idea what to do!
In his twenties, he has no sense of crisis.
Finally, dad sold his old face and helped Ivy find an office job through friends: receiving counters and sending and receiving documents. Unwilling to go to work, she feels so timid, at least she graduated from a national university. This kind of work should be done by a little sister who works part-time. Such an unforgettable experience led her to infer that the reason why she couldn't find a good job was because she lacked a master's degree, so she prepared for the postgraduate entrance examination while working.
Ivy still has the ability to study for exams. Now I am a second-year graduate student in the Institute of Statistics, and I will graduate in half a year. She once again returned to the original point four years ago and didn't know what to do after graduation. Ivy was 27 years old at this time. If Ivy wants to find a job related to statistics, her past work experience will not only not add points, but even reduce points; If Ivy still doesn't want to do statistics-related work, then why did she come to the Institute of Statistics?
The situation of Ivy League is a portrayal of many college graduates, which is nothing new. In other words, many young people in their twenties have lost their gold in five years!
Five years, the stop-loss point of fooling around
Around us, I'm afraid more than half of people are not using what they have learned, some are far from the needs of the job market, and some don't like their majors, so job-hopping may be a way for you to find a career direction.
It is right to try different jobs, but you can't just look around. First of all, please make clear your interests, abilities and personality characteristics, and the job you are looking for must meet at least one of them. Instead of relatives and friends helping you find a job, you do it, or the media reports which job is hot, you follow the crowd and submit your resume.
After graduation, you only have five years to try different jobs, so you must find the right direction, such as: what kind of position, what kind of industry, etc. If you change jobs in the future, it is best not to leave this direction unless it is relevant.
There are some things that will be humiliating to do again.
You are in your twenties, which is a great age. You can do anything you want, but you can't do anything you don't want. Without teachers and instructors staring at you, your parents are too lazy to care, because you can't move. The boss only looks at the performance figures? In his twenties, he was free and happy, and the dominance of life returned to himself for the first time.
Working to earn money, one person can support the whole family, and there is no financial burden that cannot be thrown away. As long as you are in love, don't talk about marriage. No one around me is getting married and having children at this age, so I'll wait until I'm 30.
At this time, your life has just begun to set sail, and you are full of confidence and hope. As long as you casually say an idea, the boss's eyes will shine, as if to pin the future of the company entirely on you; At the meeting, everyone wanted to hear the thoughts of young people. They nod like garlic when you speak. You are valued and think that you will make a difference.
Beware of overdose of Happy Pills.
While you are immersed in 100% happiness with zero burden, some franchises in their twenties are quietly expiring. The terrible thing is that no one will raise a warning sign to warn you; Even if there is, you can't see it. It's like swallowing a handful of happy pills and enjoying the colorful life in your twenties.
Once you cross the threshold of 30, it will only be one night. Everyone seems to have changed their attitude towards you. They withdrew their concern and appreciation and became severe. 30. You should be 30. You can't let your privileges be taken away one by one and be forced to face some serious problems: getting married, having children, buying a house and supporting your parents? Invincible youth, on the last night of the 29 th, turned to ashes.
You must enjoy life in your twenties, but it's like a crazy party. You must keep a moderate vigilance to avoid an overnight famine. When you wake up after the Tang Dynasty, your life is in chaos.
After your twenties, the most important change is that you have become an adult. People no longer treat you as a minor child, but begin to throw all kinds of responsibilities on your shoulders. After my twenties, there is only one thing I can't do, and that is irresponsibility. The terrible thing is that the responsibility is all-encompassing, which makes you breathless.
The above are three inspirational articles that I carefully sorted out and recommended to you. I hope you like them.