2. Mao Mao is in a big class in kindergarten. In class, the teacher asked, "Kid, who can answer why Kong Rong took the smallest pear?" Mao Mao stood up and replied, "Take the small one and finish it quickly. You can eat the second one! "
On Sunday, I took my daughter to the park to play. Seeing many children eating ice cream, the daughter said, "They are eating ice cream. Eating ice cream has bad teeth and a stomachache, so I won't eat it. "
I think the child is quite sensible and said happily, "You did really well today! Dad wants to reward you. What do you want to eat? "
The daughter immediately said, "ice cream."
The boy is writing a composition, and the topic is my father. He wrote: "My father is the strongest and bravest. He can cross the widest river, fight the fiercest beasts and defeat the fiercest robbers! My father can do anything! However, what he does most often is washing dishes, washing clothes and taking out the garbage. "
5. My son was severely scolded by his wife for failing in the exam. I comforted my son, and he said, "You don't have to say much. It's all your fault anyway. " I asked strangely, "Why is it my fault?" The son said, "If you marry a great wife, I will have a great mother."
6. Mom: "Don't say anything puzzling in the future, do you hear?"
"These are all said by Shakespeare!"
"Really? You can't play Shakespeare anymore. "
7. Dad: "Say, what is one plus two?"
Son: "I don't know."
Dad: "Your mother and I, plus you, how much is a * * *? Idiot! "
The son immediately replied, "Three idiots."
8. Xiao Qiang went home after the exam and handed the test paper to his mother. My mother pointed to the paper and said, "Why do I feel that the last' 0' in 100 seems to be added later?"
Xiao Qiang immediately went on to say, "you are mistaken. The last two zeros are added later. "
9. A tribe suffered a severe drought. The tribal leader listened to the wizard's advice and called everyone together for rain.
A little boy also came to the scene of the rain. When everyone was begging for rain, the little boy reached out from behind and pulled his father's clothes, and then asked, "Dad, what are you doing?" The father explained to his son that everyone was praying for rain, and then went on praying.
The little boy tugged at his father's clothes and asked, "Dad, everyone is begging for rain. Why doesn't anyone bring an umbrella? "
10. My mother told her three-year-old daughter the story of Sima Guang smashing a jar. After that, the mother asked her daughter, "Do you play with children? What should you do if the child falls into the jar? "
The daughter thought for a moment and said, "Go and find Sima Guang!"
1 1, the son quarreled with his parents. The son said, "I'm tired of being with you every day and coming home on time every day!" " I need romance, freedom, beer and girls! I want to leave this house, so don't stop me. "The son said, and resolutely walked to the door. At this time, my father caught up.
"I told you not to stop me!" The son said.
"I didn't stop you, son. I will go with you. " The father replied.
12. In the composition class, the teacher gave the topic "The Value of Life".
A student who is engaged in aquatic products business at home wrote: live fish is 40 yuan per kilogram, dead fish per kilogram 10 yuan; Live shrimp per kilogram of 50 yuan, dead shrimp per kilogram 15 yuan; Live crabs are 20 yuan per kilogram, and dead crabs can only be thrown into the trash can. Therefore, life is precious and we should cherish it.
13, fisherman Lao Zhang always asks others before fishing in the river, in order to gain a good impression and make an auspicious picture. On this day, before entering the river, there was only one child by the river. He asked, "Kid, how big fish can I catch today?"
The child said, "You can catch a fish as big as me."
Lao Zhang was very happy and asked, "What's your name?"
The child replied, "My name is Misgur NASS Jr."
14 One day, I checked my son's Chinese test paper, and I found that he had written many idioms wrong: "Everyone has a name" as "Everyone has his cup", "I can't bear my clothes" as "I can't wait" as "I can't wait to cough" as "perfect" as "eat whole foods" ... I criticized him.
15. Son: "Dad, what are the similarities and differences between the two phrases * * *?"
Father: "The big event is a matter of Tianjin University, and the big event is a matter of Chongqing University. The similarity is the same school, but the difference is that one is in North China and the other is in Southwest China. "
16, A Dai: Mom, in the number 1~9, who is the laziest and who is the most diligent?
Mom: I don't know.
A Dai: Of course, 1 is the laziest, and 2 is the most diligent!
Mom: Why?
A Dai: If you don't do it, you will never stop.
17, Xiao Ming deserted in geography class. The teacher asked Xiaoming, "Where did the Hanshui River originate?"
Xiaoming was sweating with anxiety. Inspired by this, he replied, "Sweat originates from the head."
18, A Dai: Mom, the whole class is the strongest.
Mom: Why do you say that?
A Dai: When the exam results were announced today, the teacher said that I was holding the whole class back by myself. 19, in class, the teacher lectures on the podium, and Xiaohua listens to songs with headphones below. Accidentally, the earphone plug came loose and the voice rang. The teacher asked, "Who is singing?"
Xiaohua replied: "headphones."
"I'm talking about people!" The teacher shouted angrily.
Xiaohua timidly replied, "Jeff Chang Shin-Che is new."
There is a fax machine in my mother's office. However, although I told her repeatedly that the fax machine was much faster and cheaper, she wrote to me as always.
However, on my birthday, my mother showed that she could finally use this technology. She faxed me 100 yuan and wrote, "Happy birthday, baby. You are absolutely right-faxing is really much cheaper than mailing! Love your mother. "