Those who make me cry, I will definitely make you bleed.
The mask has been worn for a long time and gradually becomes my face.
If it snows without an umbrella, can we walk all the way to the white head?
A successful woman needs two hands behind her back. One hand turns her into a man, and the other hand turns her back into a woman.
6. It's a wonderful life with food, drinks and computers.
7, the flowers of the motherland, open one, I pinch one.
8. In this world, sincerity is scarce and even more economical.
9. People who care don't understand, and those who do don't care.
10, the longer you contact people, the more you like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people!
1 1, you get what you pay for, and you're not hungry for porridge. "
12, you can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.
13, I miss you so much that I can't eat. It's really disgusting.
14, there may be a few women who don't eat, and none of them are jealous.
15, Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.
16, I can only know two things in my life: one or the other.
17, raw, easy; Live, relax. Life is not easy.
18, 1. What this century needs is not talent, but wealth.
19, I am flat-chested, I am proud, and I am saving the country.
20. You said that you might marry someone you don't like in the future. It doesn't matter. I am willing to be the person you don't like.
2 1, Tomb-Sweeping Day suddenly thought of you when he went to the grave. Why are you still alive when so many people are dead?
22, don't be so far away, I'm not sure you can live to that day!
23. Love me and hate me. As long as you remember me, I am just a clown who sinks into your world.
24. Why do I often have gum in my eyes? That's my deep love for sleep.
25, even if you want to cry again, you should smile and say: you are a grandfather!
26. The time a person keeps interested is usually proportional to the time his prey struggles. The sooner he surrenders, the sooner he will fall out of favor.
27. You dare to talk to me about basketball even if you don't know Beckham!
28. The result of mother-in-law: Feminization of men and menstruation of women.
29. Just like every drop of wine can't bring back the original grapes, I can't bring back my youth.
30. Some people took it off. As soon as she became famous, some people lost it. She slept with the director.
3 1, everyone wants to catch the tail of youth, but unfortunately youth is a gecko.
32. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage.
Tell me something funny that can make your friend happy.
Tell me something funny that can make your friend happy.
First, youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.
Second, how many lovers like spinning love begin at the end.
Third, this morning in spring, I woke up easily, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night and couldn't wake up during the day.
Fourth, it turns out that all you gave me was feelings, but that kind of feeling included romantic feelings.
Five, my wife calls me a third party!
6. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Seven, some people are alive, she is dead, some people are alive, and he should have died.
I'm sorry to make you laugh.
Nine, don't brag, please give me back the cow, because cows also need sex!
Ten, who forgot to give me tenderness, who forgot to give me a promise.
1 1. Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the smile with tears in your eyes.
Twelve, no loneliness, who will accompany me.
Thirteen, love is so short, forgetting is so long.
The most ridiculous thing in the world is that you are still lying when I know the truth.
15. If you want to love your own value, you have to create value for the world.
16. Don't fall in love at first sight. If you love too much, your love will depreciate.
Seventeen, when you recall the past, you can only show that you are not doing well now.
Eighteen, local tyrants, let's be friends!
Dear, please hold my hand and let us watch the beautiful sunset together.
Twenty, when I was a child, the watch in my hand did not move, but it took away our best time.
Twenty-one, the space is interesting, talk about Daquan.
Twenty-two, often complain that you are not successful enough, ask yourself, have you worked hard?
If one day my sister becomes cruel and crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.
Twenty-four, live well, don't believe it!
Twenty-five, as long as you dare to die, I dare to bury.
Twenty-six, low profile! It's the best b show.
Twenty-seven, thinking too much will hurt.
Twenty-eight, you can't cook, stay away from me, I'll cook later, and you are responsible for eating!
Twenty-nine, shake it and shake it to Naihe Bridge.
I will be a man in my next life and then marry a woman like me.
Thirty-one, looking at beautiful women in the street, a little higher is appreciation; Any lower is a hooligan.
Thirty-two, you are the national football team! Your father is on the national football team! Your family, your ancestors are all national football!
Thirty-three, the courage to admit mistakes, and resolutely do not change.
34. The more I want to know whether I have forgotten, the clearer I remember.
I hear it's cheap to get married now. Come on, let's get married. My treat!
Thirty-six, the longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.
37. The journey of exploration is not about discovering new land, but about cultivating new perspectives.
38. Many people say that distance is not a problem, but it will arouse each other's thoughts.
When I woke up, it was already dark.
Forty, the feelings of breaking up without saying a few words to others are not feelings at all.
Forty-one, I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!
Forty-two, fuel-efficient lights are by no means good lights!
Forty-three, take out your temper, that is called instinct; Putting your temper back is a skill.
Forty-four, this semester must shape themselves into top students, a thin man and a woman.
Forty-five, as long as the kung fu is deep, the shit is also serious.
Forty-six, the hug is over, and my heart is in a mess.
Forty-seven, the last doomsday dinosaurs all died; So I'm worried about you this time.
Forty-eight, money and love can be close at hand; No money, but love is far away.
Forty-nine, for the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly, we must fall in love and talk about a world full of love.
Fifty, kill loneliness, who will accompany me.
5 1. Dong Fangbubai, what about the west?
Fifty-two, the color is not clear, but also the game.
53. As I become more polite to you, we may become more and more strangers.
54. The biggest lie in the world is that I have read and agreed to use this clause.
55. Heaven is in a woman's cave!
Love at first sight, goodbye to strangers.
Fifty-seven, steamed buns are not for breath?
Fifty-eight, the space is interesting, talk about the election.
59. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.
Sixty, relatives, too familiar, not easy to start.
Sixty-one, my life, only need my attention, don't need the attention of others.
Sixty-two, you are such an ordinary name, but it touches so many emotions.
Classic and funny. Tell me about it.
1, the woman is not so cute before, but so fierce after meeting. 2. The poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and the cows work overtime to knock on the computer.
3, the world is public, and human feelings are warm and cold.
4. Water makes noise because it is blocked, and people mature because of setbacks!
If you use honey trap, I will cooperate with you.
6. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.
7. Don't show off your IQ of 25 points.
8. Suddenly looking back, the head teacher was already standing at the door of the classroom.
9. I feel so unlucky to know you in such a big world.
10, without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.
1 1. What is love in the world? The sage replied: waste.
12, you, you, you, you push me again, and I will feed you Sanlu.
13, the early bird gets the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.
14, learning to ignore is a road to inner peace.
15, the weather is cold like a joke, and life is like nonsense.
16, the season of black stockings flooding, what makes these thick legs feel?
17, companionship means that I am here whether you need it or not.
18, pregnancy is like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.
19 Sometimes, just like suffering from depression, I suddenly feel bad.
Life is too short to laugh while you still have teeth.
2 1, I am already very happy, because I see you so deeply.
22. I'm afraid of losing everyone and leaving one person to die alone.
23. Buy an oversized diaper to make up for my childhood loss.
24. There is a kind of cold, not that you feel cold, but that your mother thinks you are cold.
25. Growing up, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to study.
If I have a second chance, I will try my best to protect your original beauty.
27. Oh, liar, there is no beef in beef instant noodles.
28. I received a text message just after I fell asleep that day: I slept in the wrong position and fell asleep again.
29. Today, my mother asked me why I smoked. I said I like to eat soot!
No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.
3 1, this thing of love, I feel that once it comes, the principle has long since rolled away.
32. If the teacher didn't say you can't litter, I would throw you out.
Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, you asked me to answer the questions on the blackboard.
Please don't charge me. I have no money and can't afford caller ID.
35. A-mei took the boat at the head, his brother was thick in water and swam fast, with sand fish on his back.
36. I know there is a person in my heart who will always be there no matter how the years change.
37. After the Chinese exam, I cried. After the math exam, I found myself crying early.
38. What are you staring at your joy beans eyes? I'm not yours.
39. Nowadays, people are following the trend. Everyone likes to cover their mouths with deodorant socks.
40.i forgot to tell you. Actually, I love you so much that I forgot to tell you. Actually, I miss you very much.
4 1, what is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.
42, whenever the charge sounded, I quickly hid in the ditch, because: I am undercover!
43. Kissing a girl has two outcomes: the first and the second.
44. Whether the thin man says he is fat or embarrassed, the fat man will feel that the thin man is showing off.
45. The most romantic thing I can think of is that you are getting older day by day while I am still young.
46. Break up. Why not add more salt, because the feelings are weak?
47. Dare to curse me for eating instant noodles without seasoning packets, and I curse you for eating instant noodles with seasoning packets.
48. Some people like to take advantage. As soon as they heard that there was a discount on painless abortion, they wanted to have a baby at once.
49. Sometimes, I will stare at you and say silently: I don't believe you don't look at me.
50. Holding your left hand, running endlessly in the rain, finally, we snuggled up happily.
5 1, now you must look carefully, because there are too many men and women now!
52. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.
53. Failure is success. Damn it, I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.
54. The loveliest man in the world is a lip service and a playboy, but he has a girl in his heart.
55. My broken grade is no longer a drag on my class, and I have already broken my legs in the class.
56. I laughed when I heard the weather forecast that it would cool down. This is not cooling, it is simply quick freezing!
I have a super power, that is, even if there are thousands of people, I can find you immediately.
58. If you step on a banana peel and slip, you must get up and keep stepping on it. If you step on it, it won't slip.
59. A chicken has been raised for 1000 years, and finally it becomes a sperm. As a result, it became the chicken essence on people's table.
60. What is unity? Is to let go together when the whole class tug of war! Damn it, this is unity! !
6 1, wake up every morning, meet your rich coquettish eyes and forget last night's nightmare.
62. It is raining in the city where you live. I really want to ask you if you have an umbrella. If not, I hope it will rain more.
63. Why do they arrange the things behind the news broadcast? That's to prove that they are bragging and drafting.
64. Behind a successful man is always a woman, and behind a rich woman is always a group of men. .
65. I have never understood one thing. You can talk to foreigners when you learn English, but you should learn classical Chinese! You fucking tell the ghost!
66. It is said that eating fish is smart, and you don't see that you are smart after eating so many fish. Just, just, just put on a little weight.
67. I haven't watched TV in recent years. When I turned on the TV, I couldn't see. What role did Princess Zhu Huan play? Golden locks are emperors!
68. In the past, the primary school teacher said to us for fear of silence: I ask a question, and all of you will raise your right hand instead of your left.
69. If you suddenly find any girl's name, if you compose music. Rmvb or. The suffix of AVI, how tempting it will be!
70. A girl shouted to the sea on the beach: the sea, my mother! A man heard this and shouted to the sea: the sea, my mother-in-law.
7 1. What do you think of the goddess of god on the Internet now? Oh, just like instant noodles, isn't it? No, the pictures are for reference only.
72. Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that I must study hard in this way, otherwise others will say that I am just a vase.
73. I always feel that you are outside the window, quietly eavesdropping on my heart, and I am gently telling the hidden stars outside the window.
74. It is not easy for workers to earn money, and everyone wants to raise their wages. Now Yao Jiaxin has come out, killed and killed and sentenced to death; No one is clamoring for a raise, for fear of being fired in the end!
75. No, my Nokia is broken. Don't be silly, how could Nokia go bankrupt? I accidentally put it under the National Day homework.
76. I once threatened at a high temperature of 38 degrees that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. Until today, I was frozen into a dog, because I was too young to understand that beautiful promise.
77. At first, you used a bunch of adjectives to define your ideal lover. When you really love someone, his name will replace those nouns and become nouns.
78. What is dry before it is put in and wet when it is taken out, which makes people memorable and happy like a fairy? What are you thinking about? This is a tea bag.
79. There are three kinds of people in school. One is a top student and the other is suspended from school. As for the third kind of people, they want to be top students, but they can't. They want to quit school, but they can't stop.
80. In the third grade, the vice principal was the husband of our head teacher. On one occasion, the vice principal came to patrol the class and stood at the door. The class teacher saw her husband and said, what are you looking at? Go away!
8 1, looking for a girlfriend, looking for someone who doesn't like makeup! Draw once in a while! I will feel heartbroken if I find a general makeup! Not occasionally! Easy to die suddenly!
82. Life is bread, and love is cheese. Bread without cheese can be full, but it doesn't taste good. Life without love goes on, but it's not so beautiful.
83. China will disarm 300,000 people, which means that if you don't work hard today, 300,000 troops will rob you of your job, your business and your girlfriend tomorrow. They are more handsome, taller, more persistent, more energetic and more fighting spirit!
84. Do you eat bitter gourd? Don't eat. Radish? Don't eat. Pumpkin? Don't eat. You don't eat anything, you are so picky about food! Huh? I'm not picky about food! I eat all kinds of meat!
QQ classic fun talk, fun talk about mood phrases.
1. I used to be an honor student. I'm just curious about the world of scum. I went in to have a look and got lost.
Don't treat me like a rival in love. Don't worry, I don't like your other half.
The typhoon is coming, please close the doors and windows, in case I am blown to your house, I won't go.
It's raining in the city where you live. I really want to ask you if you have an umbrella, but I held back because I was afraid you didn't. I laughed out loud.
5. Playing mobile phone late at night is not only sentimental, but also hit in the face by mobile phone.
6. I am a person who is good at reflecting on myself. For example, after I slapped you on the backhand, I would wonder if I hit you lightly.
7. Do you know how good I am in bed? I can lie down and sleep for a day without eating or drinking. A classic funny dialogue about mood phrases.
8. I remember when I was a child, my brother and I planned to steal money to buy some food. Once my parents found out, let's make a new offer. When I pointed to fifty dollars and said, "Look, brother, let's buy something to eat." This product actually said, "No, brother, we can't do this!
9. When I turned rolling into gung, I knew I couldn't win the quarrel again.
10. At best, my class is colorful and rapidly changing, at worst, it is a mental hospital with mental disorder.
1 1. One day, Mrs. White Snake farted, and Xu Xian suddenly realized: Madam, are you a rattlesnake?
What is a master? Is to be able to judge the opponent's intention in an instant, and then kill the opponent invisibly. For example, I: Mom, I think my mom: No money!
13. I'm so beautiful. First of all, I want to thank my parents. If they hadn't given me a pair of skillful hands, I would have made myself so beautiful.
14. Life is not just the present, but also the invitation sent by your predecessor.
15. Kidnapper: I have your head teacher. Student: I won't give you money. Kidnapper: If I don't pay him, I will let him go at once. Student: I'll get the money right away.
16. Just now I was eating pie on the balcony upstairs and heard a man and a woman talking downstairs. The boy said, can you fall in love with me? The girl said coldly, you want to talk to me, unless pie falls from the sky. As soon as I heard this, I threw the pie at the girl's head Come on, brother, that's all I can do for you!
17. Holding a hot mobile phone that is being charged and putting my life and death at risk is a rare heroic moment in my life.
18. Women don't have to quarrel, as long as you are more beautiful than her.
19. You are only twenty years old. It is normal not to meet someone you like. The later you find out, you will probably never see him again.
20. I like to eat with learned people. As long as I ask a question that they are good at, the food will be mine for the next two hours.
2 1. After you get married, if the groom is not me, I will move next door to your house and treat your children better than my own until your husband doubts life.
22. I want to kiss you. I agree to start kissing, but I don't agree to start strong kissing.
23. I am fat. One day by bus, there were many people and it was crowded. An old man was pushed away by the crowd, and I was ready to get up and give up my seat. As a result, the uncle was shocked and said, don't move, standing up will take up more space!
When I came home from school, I saw my mother cooking hard for me in the kitchen, which was my favorite food. I can't help feeling sour when I think that my family is usually poor. I was just about to speak when my mother looked back at me and said in surprise, today is not the weekend. Why did you come back?
More QQ classics are funny.
Classic Funny Talk: Mathematics is actually very simple, but the remaining 90 points are very difficult.