Brother, if you don't laugh after reading it, make sure you are crying.

Stephen Chow's classic dialogue on picking up girls (prepare yourself first .. ~ laugh to death)

First, the bus platform

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you stepped on my foot."

Pretty girl: "No, I'm so far away from you."

Zhou Xingxing: "I mean, if you accidentally step on my foot, you are stepping on my foot."

Pretty girl: "psycho."

Zhou Xingxing: "Wow, miss, you have a good eye. I do have a history of neurology. I usually see beautiful girls having seizures. "

Pretty girl: "You men are always like that, saying boring things to attract girls on purpose. It seems that you think you are handsome. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you are wrong. I never feel handsome, but I am handsome. "

Pretty chick: "Don't be so disgusting. I am going to throw up. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Before you throw up, may I ask you a question?"

Pretty girl: "fart quickly."

Zhou Xingxing: "Why do you deny my handsomeness without conscience?"

Pretty girl: "Get out."

2. On the bus

Pretty girl: "Why are you again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "Sometimes I am everywhere."

Pretty girl: "Do you know you are annoying? You have to sit next to me, not so many places. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you see, I'm just sitting in an empty seat, and there's only you next to that empty seat, that's all."

Pretty girl: "There is an empty seat in front, too. Why don't you go? " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see. So do you want to see my ass, or do I want to see you and my ass? "

Pretty girl: "Get out ..."

get off (a vehicle)

Pretty girl: "Why did you get off again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "It's not because of you! I like hanging out. "

Pretty girl: "I accuse you of sexual harassment. Which unit are you from?" "

Zhou Xingxing: "You mean gold, or Joule, Newton?"

Pretty girl: "Do I know you very well? Always say such nonsense, sorry, I don't catch a cold! "

Zhou Xingxing: "Yes, we don't know each other at all. We are like two green strawberries on the same branch, sour and sour. "

Pretty girl: "I watched some Chinese Odyssey and learned a few words about Tang Priest. Do you think you are humorous? " ? "

Zhou Xingxing: "Humor is innate. Blame my mother. By the way, my father ... "

Pretty girl: "nerve."

Zhou Xingxing: "Your mother is crazy."

Pretty girl: "Your mother is crazy."

Zhou Xingxing: "Look at you, it's obviously your mother, but you insist that it's my mother. Do you want to ... "

Pretty girl: "Get out ..."

4. Kentucky Fried Chicken Gate

Pretty girl: "No way, why am I so unlucky to meet you again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "I found it, too. I think my predecessor's crime must be very serious."

Pretty girl: "You speak clearly! I want to kick your ass! "

Zhou Xingxing: "Don't you dare. I will scream. "

Pretty girl: "What's your name?"

Zhou Xingxing: "indecent assault."

Pretty girl: "Do you think someone will talk to you?"

Zhou Xingxing: "It doesn't matter if I don't. I will come back and be indecent. "

Pretty girl: "My God, you are such a scoundrel. You are really blind! " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Well, yes, otherwise there would be no so-called elite in this world."

Pretty girl: "..."

Verb (abbreviation for verb) in KFC

Pretty girl: "Don't talk, I get bored when you talk."

Zhou Xingxing: "I haven't said it yet. Can you be reasonable? " "

Pretty girl: "I told you to stop." You talk like a fly. It's disgusting. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, so words can play such a big role. It's really earth-shattering Can I work part-time? "

Pretty girl: "Do what?"

Zhou Xingxing: "Go to the hospital to help people with gastric lavage."

Pretty girl: "You are hopeless. Go back and deal with things early. "

Zhou Xingxing: "I don't want anything before I die. I just want to say a few words to you, but I'm afraid you won't agree. Will you promise? " ? "

Pretty girl: "Go ahead, reasonable requirements can be considered."

Zhou Xingxing: "Will you treat me to KFC?"

Pretty girl: "Go to hell .."

Step 6 get out of KFC

Pretty girl: "Don't you have a girlfriend? Wandering alone on Sunday? "

Zhou Xingxing: "To be exact, I don't have a girlfriend, but I have a female friend. Why do you ask? "

Pretty girl: "Nothing, it's nothing to care about your lifelong events." "

Zhou Xingxing: Well, why not? You, like me, are my beloved. "

Pretty chick: "Who? .."

Zhou Xingxing: "My mother. She always likes to ask questions. "

Pretty chick: "If there weren't so many people watching in the street, I really want to hit you."

Zhou Xingxing: "I'm not afraid of others seeing you hit me. What are you afraid of? " ? What about you? Aren't you with your boyfriend? "

Pretty girl: "Never mind!"

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see. Abandoned by her boyfriend, I want to find a psychological balance. "

Pretty chick: "Dogs don't spit ivory. To be clear, I don't want to find it. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Think of me, I will suffer."

Pretty girl: "Please stop disgusting me."

Zhou Xingxing: "I can be your extra unconditionally. If you need a boyfriend, please call * * * ".

Pretty girl: "We'll talk about it then."

Zhou Xingxing: "Can you tell me your phone number?"

Pretty girl: "We'll talk about it then. Stop bothering me and scolding you. "

Zhou Xingxing: "OK, then send a message to scold me."

Pretty girl: ....

7. Go home separately

Pretty chick: "Strange, I really want to send a message to scold him."

Zhou Xingxing: "Hehe. It is strange that she didn't send a message to scold me. "

Pretty girl: "It's over. Do I really like that scoundrel? " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Hey, hey, she doesn't like me as a scoundrel. This is the end. "