Full of everyday jokes.
lucky
I just went to a friend's company to attend the opening ceremony and found a banana on the red table opposite. I asked him: What's with bananas?
He said:? A banana can make a fortune. ?
helmet
The police stopped a man riding a motorcycle without a helmet, with a child sitting behind him.
Police:? It's dangerous not to wear a helmet, you know?
Man:? Yes, but there is no small helmet worn by my son. ?
Police:? Why don't you wear it?
Man:? If anything happens to my son, I won't live! ?
choose
When the coffee shop was resting, I heard two middle-aged aunts talking.
? I thought you said you were going to Korea for plastic surgery. Why did you change your mind and drag me to worship the Four Faces Buddha?
? Well, I wanted to be younger before, so that he wouldn't always go out looking for goblins. Later, I figured it out. Why bother yourself? It's easier to kick him out! ?
Time machine
? If there is a time machine, when do you want to go back?
? 1984。 ?
? Why?
? I want to go back to that year and stop my parents from getting married. ?
Telephone bill
Once, a fool charged my mobile phone by mistake and called my mobile phone number. He called me and begged me to hurry back.
I wanted to get something for nothing, so I promised to go back. As a result, I made a mistake in the process of charging the phone bill. ...
thing
Venue: Changbanpo
Zhao Yun: Master! I brought my son back!
Liu Bei: Come as soon as you come. What else did you bring?
efficacy
At noon, I ate at the farmhouse and ordered an okra, which is said to be both medicine and food. So I asked the proprietress what this thing did.
The proprietress is expressionless:? Next meal?
regret
I finally had a chance to get along with the male god for half an hour, and as a result, he told me about insurance for half an hour.
cause
Many people don't seem to understand: the reason for breaking up is to break up with you, not to let you know.
conflict
Ma Rong cheated on her.
Woman: What a bitch. /Understandably, men should give women more time.
M: Ma Rong, please broadcast the video live.
A selection of paragraphs full of routines
Dānlín cheated on me.
Woman: Damn bitch, you men are all bad things.
M: Please broadcast live video of the long-legged supermodel.
cause
Why did Dānlín cheat? Because he changed jobs, lost his military spirit, didn't go deep into two studies and one work, didn't study party constitution's party rules and series of speeches, and didn't have the absolute leadership of the party, how could he be loyal?
Facts have proved that no love can be faithful without the guidance of a strong military goal!
Pregnant
? Dānlín, what should I do if I am pregnant?
? How is that possible? I'm always volley! ?
intolerable
Are you embarrassed enough to make your family think that you are watching porn while watching American TV?
obstacle
Men chasing women across the mountain, women chasing men across the LOL watch pioneer Ronaldo Diego Diego Maradona Zidane Bryant Andrew James Ria Sakurai Yoshizawa Akiho Yui Hatano 360G hard drive.
cheap
Looking at her sad eyes, I said cruelly, I'm sorry, I don't want this cheap feeling. ?
Then I turned and lit a cigarette, ready to put on my shoes and leave.
She grabbed my hand and cried, I'm leaving if I don't pay! ?
rich
I was furious and roared: money is amazing! ?
The other side calmly replied:? Yes, it's amazing. ?
Dress
My cousin was ill in hospital. When I went to visit, I molested the little nurse: Your nurse's clothes are not as good as those on TV. ?
The little nurse said with a smile, are you looking at Japan?
Enlarge breast
My wife bought a breast enhancement products from the Internet, but she was worried about the product, so she discussed it with me. Let me try it a few times first and see how it works.
I protest:? Are you kidding? I am a man with big breasts, so how can I go out to meet people! ?
She sneered:? Who told you to wipe your chest?
It's all routine
accident
Lying in the car after lunch in the company, the sun was so comfortable that I fell asleep soon. When I woke up, I turned on my cell phone in the office and found a picture of me sleeping madly in the company group: one hand was on my stomach and the other hand was touching eggs.
sensitive
People are so sensitive nowadays. Did you just say something? Just found out that you snore in bed? Be scolded by colleagues for abusing dogs.
cheat
There is a motorcycle near our home. In order to avoid inspection, a big white paper was posted on the car, with three big characters written on it:? Pick up the grandson? I work in the subway every day, but few guests pay attention to these three words. ...
discrepancy
In the past: I wish to win the hearts of one person and never leave each other.
Now: I hope to win a person's heart and avoid old blind dates.
disadvantage?
? If the boyfriend can't reinstall the computer system, do simple home maintenance, cook noodles in the middle of the night, and is not an all-around navigator, he won't pick up the other half easily. I think this is the same physical defect as a woman who can't wake up. ?
? What if men are good at calling the bed?
truth
Doctor:? Are you sexually active?
I said:? Of course. ?
Doctor:? I mean having sex with real people. ?
I said:? Hmm. ? (Avoid eye contact and shake your feet uncomfortably)
colour
My brother has a girlfriend with dark skin.
I said to him:? So you like black. ?
He replied:? Hehe, it's not that dark. ?
I want to continue to make fun of him, and suddenly I understand something, but I can't speak for a while.
An article about a passage full of routines:
1. They are all friends.
2. Funny jokes
3. Wechat Routine Daquan
4. dirty paragraphs
5. Super-connotation jokes
6. Classic funny yellow jokes