After changing jobs, divorce files are the most frequently contacted every day. What surprised me most was that from 1990 to 2000, there were so many divorce cases in our small county. The seniors in the same department said to me, "What is this? Now there are thousands of divorce cases! " I'm still surprised to know why these people didn't want to understand before they got married. No matter how civilized and tolerant the society is, I still think that the impact of divorce on both parties and their families should not be underestimated.

Yesterday, I suddenly learned that a cousin I didn't know very well was divorced. This incident triggered a series of thoughts. This may be the confusion and confusion of our generation.

I really can't have too many feelings for my cousin. His family and mine are very bitter. This complex emotion comes from each other's indifference to the family, which is also the most wonderful way for brothers and sisters to get along. Perhaps it is the lack of parents' virtue that led to such a failure of my cousin's life and marriage.

My cousin has not studied very well since he was a child, and his parents are very worried about his future. However, when people grow up, they know that some things in the adult world have nothing to do with their studies and grades. Extra things can also give people a chance to make a new face. Life is not doomed to failure because of nothing, for example, some people can win over their fathers, have a useful relationship or have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. My cousin took the latter two. So no matter how many books he has read, it doesn't matter what his grades are. He can have an easy job according to his parents' arrangement, get a good salary, get married and have children early. Don't worry too much, both parents have good units and high salaries to help him. I think his life is complete, without struggle or trouble. But God is fair.

How many marriages are not because of love, but because of love between men and women.

I think the word love is quite noble. Love is neither like nor desire. Many people don't understand. Many people dream of love and that Cupid's arrow will take care of them. Love is an eternal topic, which has been sung so far.

However, marriage is not equal to love. Many people get married without experiencing love. It can be seen that not everyone gets married because of love.

So what is marriage? Marriage is more about reproduction, parenting and human behavior with social attributes. Marriage can be without love, but marriage can have the feelings of men and women. If marriage must be love, then many people will not get married directly on blind dates. Based on the basic emotional and physiological needs of men and women, coupled with the influence of social traditions, public opinion and customs, people will find a person who they think is relatively matched. As for whether it is such a relative match, only God knows.

The so-called seven-year itch of marriage may be the best test of whether your choice is correct! Man is a very complicated animal. Marriage is a bridge to establish new relationships between people. Marriage can connect two unrelated people and establish a close relationship, which is aboveboard and protected by law. Marriage can connect two families and establish a new interpersonal network. Marriage can also make people play new social roles. If the love between men and women is a hallucinogen that two people think they can be together and accept each other, what are the catalysts and stabilizers that determine and promote the effectiveness of the engagement? That is "external things". There is really no marriage that doesn't talk about conditions and material things these days. Only one thing is not conditional: the conditions are too good. Do you need to talk about something obvious? In fact, this itself is conditional.

It's not just women who make demands, sometimes it's terrible for men to be shameless. Therefore, no matter whether men or women are human beings, everyone talks about interests, exchanges interests and reaches a marriage contract.

Just like my cousin, his enthusiasm is only in the game. Maybe no girl will say, "I just like the way you play games. Your concentration attracts me." And why does my cousin value my cousin? When they meet, they are all adults. If they meet in the early youth, it will be the most elementary, pure and simple emotion in the world. The world of adults has long been more than just a simple feeling, and many extra things have joined in.

My cousin's father died early and the family conditions were not very good. He relies on his mother to help his domestic helper make a living. Personally, I think she is really petite and slim. After graduating from junior college, I was introduced to work in a local chemical product factory, and the benefits were good. My cousin happened to be my wife's lover and changed herself. It's not that this cousin is excellent, just because his parents just worked in a well-paid local university, and later my cousin entered the school through connections. For cousin, cousin is a good family that she can control, fight for and get married. Of course, this kind of quality is relative to two people. For my cousin, he is too superficial, has never been to college, and is addicted to games all day. He really can't control a better girl. For this cousin, she is a little more qualified than my cousin, but she is also very ordinary. It's hard to reverse her fate by herself, and her family is of no help to her. She belongs to the orphan type. Cousin is also her best destination. Two young men and women naturally came together at marriageable age, had a relationship and had feelings, but who can deny that there was nothing else mixed in it.

It is not easy for my cousin to get into this cousin's house. My aunt is bent on finding a beautiful girl with excellent conditions and a good family as a daughter-in-law. It's really hard to accept my wife, so I object to her. They once called each other names online. Really not the kind of person who doesn't enter the house. Finally, the wife's victory declared the end of the first round of struggle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Speaking of which, it's really amazing. I can never do it. This cousin "kidnapped" my cousin when my aunt kicked her out of the house, and successfully took the ball and forced my aunt to finally compromise. Who would have thought that my aunt was such a tough woman who refused to bow her head and suffer hardships, but she was a grandson!

Life is full of drama, if it is wrong from the beginning, or the soil that this marriage itself breeds is wrong. Then it is doomed that whatever you do in this marriage may be a hidden danger and a fuse. This wife, who is as thin as a Chihuahua, has to accept my aunt's suggestion of having a second child for the sake of stable marriage. However, you may not think that this pair is really the first wonderful mother-in-law in the world. One is born without raising, and she only cares about dressing up and slimming down. One is a grandmother but insists on being a mother. Finally, when a daughter-in-law wants to be close to her parents, she can't touch them at all. Before Canada, this mother-in-law despises this daughter-in-law. Under the same roof, it is inevitable to be humiliated by her husband's family. Look at my cousin again. In addition to having children after marriage, she just ran away from home and went to Internet cafes, and there was little normal communication between husband and wife. What gambling books make tea fragrant? It's total bullshit! The passion has passed and the feeling is gone. Without marriage, marriage is of course fragile. Finally, when my wife felt that she would wither slowly in this marriage, she didn't get any money and didn't get any fun, but she also despaired of this marriage and wanted to catch her breath. She has discovered that the outside world is really a paradise on earth. Finally, make a clean break with this family.

Marriage is never a person's business, nor is it a person's fault. Why is modern marriage so fragile? Two people can go their separate ways, but the relationship that has been established and difficult to end is not broken. For example, a child who wants to be born without any thinking is not the result of personal selfishness on both sides. In marriage, one can't bear the responsibility of raising children. When the marriage is terminated, a person abandons and finds a new goal. A selfish and narrow family cannot raise suitable children. I also remembered a sentence in the Japanese drama "The Golden Queen": "I think giving birth to a child requires awareness and qualification. Giving birth to a child without the awareness and qualification to be a parent will lead to many problems. Without the qualification and consciousness to have children, the result is to give up children's education. So just don't have children. Those parents think their children are not cute, and even have no physical strength and energy to take care of them. I bet such a woman doesn't have to have children. People who can't be parents don't have to be parents. If you are conscious and qualified, just have a few more. " Forgetting the harm it will do to people other than yourself, and brazenly accusing or attacking each other are scum. Marry if you can't afford the responsibility, or don't consider the responsibility of marriage. Marriage is not only called marriage because of physical desire or reproductive needs. That person is not a person, but an animal. Just wait for estrus to come, mate and reproduce, and maintain the population. Marriage is the combination of two people and two families, the emergence and connection of new social relations, and the beginning of a new life. Marriage needs responsibility, commitment, love, tolerance and mutual management.

Nothing in the world is more cautious than getting married. If you get married at first, you just regard it as a means and a springboard to realize your own selfish desires. Being able to get married successfully may not necessarily keep the marriage, because the marriage is too thin, and some people are still regretting their lifelong career. What's more, I was lazy from the beginning and wanted to get it done overnight. From then on, it will be easy.

Marriage is like bread. Without love, you will starve to death. Therefore, people are looking for a normal state of life, just like eating and drinking water. And love is a rare luxury, some are scarce, some do not match, and some can't afford it.

Love is like cholera, and the best marriage is to love each other.

? "Nothing in the world is more difficult than love."

Colombian novelist Garcí a Má rquez's masterpiece Love in Cholera says that love is like a cholera.

Ariza, the hero of the story, met Fermina, the woman he dreamed of all his life, through a window. Soon, the two began to pass books through Hongyan.

Ariza sat on a bench in the garden, pretending to be reading a book of poems, waiting for her lover's reply. In those days when he couldn't wait for his lover, he was silent, tossed and turned, and couldn't sleep. He has loose bowels, spits green water, loses the ability to tell directions, and often faints. ........

Acacia is too similar to cholera. Waiting for love is happiness and suffering. Marquez explained the luck and misfortune of falling in love when he was young through Ariza's mother's mouth. "Suffer all the torture of love, because people will not be crazy about love all their lives."

Also deeply infected by "cholera" are young Fermin Na. Because of her father's objection, she put a knife rest around her neck and asked a maid to give her braid to Ariza before going on a long trip. She never forgot to write to her lover when she was in the country. So that when she saw Ariza at the door of the ghostwriter, there was a cloth that smelled of vetiver grass, and there was a snake charmer who sold eternal love syrup. When she saw his "cold eyes", "blue-purple face" and "lips hardened by fear of love", she was very shocked. She just waved and said, "Forget it.

You don't need a reason to love someone, and you don't need a reason to love someone. Because there has never been a specific direction, because of what. Fermin is not so much in love with Ariza as with the feeling of loving Ariza and the intoxicated, rebellious self who gave her life for love. At last, she realized that Prince Charming, who fascinated her, was just a scrawny poor man. When disillusioned, the lover becomes the destroyer of love.

The best marriage is to be able to fall in love and be together. Before marrying Lin, Liang Sicheng asked, "Why me?" Lin Yinhui replied: "The answer is very long. I have to answer you from beginning to end. Are you ready to listen to me? "

Speaking of Lin, we can't help but mention Xu Zhimo, who has a family but has a fanatical pursuit of Lin. However, Mrs. Xu is too soft. A gentle and romantic person with only the temperament of a poet will never be a husband. The difference between husband and lover lies in the long-term care for each other and the responsibility for the family.

And Liang Sicheng is such a person. He is the son of Liang Qichao. In Liang Qichao's view, his son's marriage is "the happiest thing in his whole career." Their American friend Charles also said, "Together, they form a perfect combination. The balance between temperament and skill produces a rare cooperation of miracles. "

There is more than romance between them. They studied together in America and studied architecture together. When Liang Sicheng was in his twenties, his spine and ankles were permanently disabled, and he always lived in an iron vest. Lin was also entangled in tuberculosis in his twenties and thirties. The two men wandered in the war and traveled all over China, surveying, inspecting and protecting ancient buildings. They are all in the best family and enjoy a superior life and education. They can share weal and woe and endure the unbearable suffering of ordinary people.

Adversity and * *, harps and songs, can share joys and sorrows, in addition to poetry and painting, they also have their own beloved career. No wonder Liang Qichao is most proud of their combination. Liang Qichao was a modern reformer, with a rigorous family style, extensive knowledge and a wide range of students. Where are these things that only Xu Zhimo can compare with people with very rich family background and only poet feelings?

Lin is sober and wise. She let go of Xu Zhimo's passionate pursuit and golden amorous feelings. Because none of them are her lovers. She likes to brag, wear white clothes, let her hair loose, put on a wick, take a roll of books, and then bow. If you talk about it, you will get many men drunk. Liang Sicheng said, "I'm not drunk." If wine is not intoxicating, people will get drunk. Liang Sicheng was drunk in Lin's jar and didn't know it, so he embraced Lin with a broad mind.

Many people long for love and marriage. Men regard marriage as an inevitable product of a certain stage, which embodies the feelings of men and women, but sometimes they don't talk about the responsibility of marriage at all, don't resolve family conflicts, and don't tolerate their wives. Women, taking marriage as a springboard to change their destiny, pray to marry a rich family, live a rich life and give up on themselves completely.

Life is long and short. The geometry of life is much more bitter when you go to Japan. Many times it's vague before you do it seriously, and then half your leg is buried. Since life is so short and so long, there is no reason not to live seriously.

You can earn bread, you can wait for the love in your heart and perfect yourself to meet the ideal marriage, instead of passive choice or being chosen.