Among my friends, there is a stay-at-home mother and one person takes care of three children. The house is spotless. The children are clean and the food is delicious every day. Often the children are asleep and she is still doing housework. I admire such people very much. Because not everyone can keep the house in order.
Stay-at-home moms are dangerous. If you stay at home for a long time, you may be out of touch with society and your career will be greatly affected.
Where is the way out for stay-at-home mothers?
Mentality adjustment. Although full-time mothers don't earn money, what they do is very valuable. The child who lives with his mother feels safe. It is very important for children to develop good living habits before they are 3 years old. Since the fact cannot be changed, then choose to accept and recognize. If the facts can't be changed and the heart can't accept it, it will fall into emotional internal friction.
Part-time job I can take care of the children and earn some pocket money. Do some part-time jobs according to your own specialties. If you don't have the expertise to do WeChat business, you can do it with your mobile phone. Not delaying the care of children also reflects its own value.
Stay-at-home mothers are not without a way out. The key is that you have a plan for your life and a clear positioning. For example, can you guarantee an income, take care of your children, or can you have a certain high income to put aside your children's affairs?
I have a favorite parenting blogger, a big J and a small D. I once wrote an article about dismantling her, which was successful. Although it is simple, it can still give people some inspiration.
The method used by big J is 1, and big J is human.
She used to be an executive of a well-known enterprise in new york. On 20 14, my daughter, Xiao D, was born prematurely and faced many obstacles. On second thought, she decided to leave her job and become a full-time mother. Now she is still a full-time mother, but she also has her own career. As can be seen from her Weibo, her relationship between parent-child companionship, work and life is well handled. She will read books, learn scientific parenting knowledge, occasionally go shopping to enjoy life, manage official WeChat account and exercise. Six years later, she has published six books. Become an inspirational figure in the eyes of many treasure mothers; He is a writer on the "Fourth Dangdang Influential Writers List"; He was rated as an influential person in the content contribution list of Sina Lang Parenting 20 18 "Mother and Child Media Award".
2. the method adopted by big J.
Big J mentioned the purpose of taking notes twice, one is to record little D's behavior, and the other is to record his mood, in order to find out the reasons behind little D's behavior and adjust his mood. What she means is to record in detail what happened before this behavior, what the child/I was doing and what the result was. Through this recording method of ABC, Big J discovered the real needs behind many small D "bears" behaviors, learned about the times when he was easily angry, and found targeted solutions, thus making the life of full-time nannies orderly.
Most people subconsciously think that learning is reading books and acquiring more knowledge. According to Ebbinghaus's forgetting curve, forgetting begins immediately after learning, and the law is fast first and then slow. How does Big J improve the knowledge conversion rate?
When Xiao D was young, Big J deliberately applied the knowledge he had learned in contact with doctors and therapists to his life. After practice and his own understanding, he wrote an article and published it on the official WeChat account. With the growth of little D, big J began to learn character building and early enlightenment from cognitive teachers and kindergarten teachers, and finally entered the university system to study brain science courses.
From the birth of WeChat official accounts Big J and Little D, to publishing books and doing courses, Big J constantly manages personal knowledge. She is not satisfied with completing the course, but applies her knowledge to the baby's daily life, and tries to adjust the reasons after finding the unsuitable places. In the step-by-step practice and thinking, knowledge is gradually internalized into its own, and a system is gradually formed.
Insisting on doing one thing requires quality support such as self-discipline and perseverance. Even if you intend to bless, you will inevitably be knocked down by the fear of difficulties and want to give up at a certain moment. How does Big J make the career of a stay-at-home mother bigger and improve herself constantly?
She has a clear goal. When setting goals, she should be clear and precise, and make sure that she is always motivated until she really achieves them. At the same time, she knows what she will do when and where, gets timely feedback during the implementation of the plan, and adjusts the method appropriately according to the progress. In the process of postpartum slimming, Dr. J has a clear goal from the beginning. He divided the task of slimming into three stages and determined the small goals of each stage. After reaching the small goal, he gave himself positive feedback in time to motivate himself to keep fit.
Suggestion 1, don't give up learning.
Stay-at-home mothers are basically out of touch with society. Even if they chat with people while walking the baby, the topic is mainly parenting. Although it is the environment that keeps us out of touch with society, we can learn to keep ourselves out of touch with society. And the advantage of doing so is that if you return to the workplace in the future, your thinking will not fall behind.
2. Adjust your mind and love yourself.
Mom is the most tiring job in the world. She is on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, without salary, and she feels very tired when she thinks about it. If the husband is strong enough, he can rest and catch his breath every day. If he is not strong enough, it will be tragic.
Think of a stay-at-home mother as a job, let go of the idea that she has no financial resources to increase the burden on her family, find something she likes in the gap with her baby and surprise herself.
Step 3 find a suitable job
There are few suitable jobs, so it is better to consider from the media. Now that the media is very developed, you can dig from your own experience, find a platform that suits you, and find a method that suits you to earn income. I know that many netizens and bloggers are self-media, willing to work hard, and those who do well have a fixed monthly income. You can think about it. If you don't want to be a self-media, you can also do some part-time jobs.
Tips Although the use of Big J was mentioned earlier, don't blindly copy the method of Big J. The success of Big J is due to the adoption of three basic methods to improve learning ability: reflection, teaching and learning, and deliberate practice. What we have to do is to find the principle from the method and explore a set of methods suitable for us according to the principle.
"My husband goes to work and occasionally needs to work at night. When my own children were born, I took them with me. The old man at home can't point it out. I am 32 years old. What should I do in the future? Go out to work? What about the baby? Where is my future without work? "
Society demands a lot of women, but we can't push ourselves to the wall. No matter which way we choose, there is no absolute good or bad. It can be said that we are all making choices.
Because, I can tell you clearly that in the first three years of your child's life, in the first three years when your child needs company most, spending more time with your child will definitely give you a surprise return.
Therefore, how many working mothers envy full-time mothers to have all the energy to train their children.
There are also many working mothers who are unwilling and feel bound by their children.
Whatever choice you make, you will regret it.
Therefore, whether to go out to work or not can be considered from the following aspects.
First of all, you should make it clear that children are two people's business and should not be borne by you alone. You said your husband had to go to work, so you took care of the children. So, how is the husband's income? Can you afford a family life?
Second, does your husband support you full time? What's your attitude towards your full-time child care?
If the answers to these questions are yes, then since you have taken care of the children at home, don't worry, and enjoy the parent-child time with peace of mind, isn't it good?
Children will grow up one day, and you can work again and pursue your dreams again one day. What does it matter if you spend a few years at night?
Stay-at-home mothers are not without a future. There are many mothers around me, all of whom have long or short full-time experience of taking care of their children at home, including myself. I used to take care of my children at home for a year, and finally returned to the workplace perfectly.
I don't think a blank year has a great influence on me. On the contrary, the experience of raising children has made me more peaceful, mature and comprehensive.
Children also have good habits in all aspects because of their personal upbringing, which is very worry-free.
The experience accumulated in time will be your most precious wealth at any time, and no one can steal it.
Therefore, stay-at-home mothers should also be confident!
If you choose full-time, please be a full-time mother with financial strength. The most likely problem is the economy.
Suddenly, the source of income was cut off. If you have no savings before and want to reach out and ask your husband for money, you will lose a lot of voice.
Moreover, after having children, the expenses in all aspects of the family suddenly increased.
Therefore, I suggest you manage this account at home and arrange all expenses reasonably.
If you choose full-time, you should also let your father take an active part in taking care of the children, not to mention taking care of the baby full-time. Let your father take care of everything and enjoy it when you come back, and even let your wife serve you with water.
On the contrary, being a full-time mother is very hard work. Therefore, it is necessary for fathers to share the responsibility of taking care of their children as much as possible when conditions permit. On the one hand, it is more conducive to cultivating a good parent-child relationship; On the other hand, you can also give yourself a chance to relax and adjust your mood.
If you choose full-time, please continue your study. The reason why we can't see the future is largely due to the lack of long-term planning.
For example, my friend, while taking care of the baby full-time, took the teacher qualification certificate by the way; For example, when I was a full-time nanny, I also insisted on writing and never gave up my favorite pen. Now I have become a blogger of maternal and child care after work. ...
I also have a friend who is good at it, because she took her baby to read picture books, gained experience, and then got a job in the picture book library. ...
No matter how much time you have, you must plan a part of it, while running around the children, reading books, watching news and learning skills.
It is a wonderful thing to watch children grow up bit by bit and witness bit by bit. This is your greatest achievement.
And work, as long as there is hope in your heart, it is never too late to set sail at any time!
Stay-at-home mom, what should I do in the future?
1, adjust the mentality As a working mother, to be honest, I actually envy a full-time mother.
Going out early and returning late every day, I have little time to accompany my baby and miss many important moments for my baby. And you don't have to deal with many family relationships, such as the eternal problem-the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Children can make their own decisions without facing a series of problems brought about by different parenting concepts.
In short, stay-at-home mothers also have advantages that other mothers don't have. Don't be too sad.
Being a full-time mother can be regarded as a profession, and it is the greatest profession in the world. You can also be glamorous at home, making your life full of ritual and not too anxious psychologically.
2. Maintain the ability to make money. If time permits, do a part-time job.
I don't recommend waiting until the children go to kindergarten to think about making money. At that time, there may be more problems.
From now on, you can do self-media, do WeChat business, and use your spare time to do things that you are good at or interested in. Choose a direction, learn slowly and enrich yourself.
When you plan your life, the road will be easy.
This era puts too much pressure on my mother. We are not only mothers, but also nannies, parenting experts and professionals. We must be kind and gentle. ...
Come on, moms!
I'm Xiao Rose, a post-90s teacher, with a master's degree in education. I want to talk to you about parenting. Please come with me if you like! I am a full-time nanny. I'll get it. I hope it helps you.
Hello, I'm glad to answer your question.
Let me talk about my current situation first: I am a nanny with 7 years of full-time experience. I'm 34 years old and I'm still on my way to full-time. The eldest brother is in the second grade, the second child is in kindergarten, and the family is drifting north. Without the help of the old man, I am as confused as you.
There is only one topic, so I can only flinch from how much work. My husband often works overtime, so I can't do the work of extracurricular tutoring institutions on weekends. Even if the children go to school, there should be a person at home on standby at any time. There are many school activities now, so I often don't attend them for fear that my children will get lost. I don't know when I will be full-time
1, stay-at-home mothers seem to have become a social problem.
In recent years, there have been many film and television dramas that reflect stay-at-home mothers, such as Luo Zijun in My First Half Life, which was very popular in previous years, and the search in We Should All Be Fine. In fact, many people are misled by them, thinking that stay-at-home mothers are like that, with nothing, no sense of value and depression. Give up family and achieve self-breakthrough! There are many reasons why mothers choose full-time jobs. Some of them are well-off and their husbands will earn as much as their wives, so they choose to take care of their children full-time. Some of them have to be taken care of at home and abroad without the help of the elderly, turning themselves into King Kong Barbie.
2. Adjust your mentality
Actually, a stay-at-home mom is not that good. Many people would rather go to work than take care of their children at home. At least there is a place to catch my breath at work, but stay-at-home mothers are on call 24 hours a day. Taking care of the baby is an obligation, but all the people who scold you are here.
Family understanding is very important to us. Communicate with your husband and friends more, don't keep any emotions in your heart, it will be much more comfortable to say it.
Since the family needs us to work full-time temporarily, we should do our job well in the full-time stage, and the time with the baby is also our life.
Although we don't make money for the time being and rarely get in touch with society, our sense of self-worth will indeed decrease. But what we have done for this family cannot be measured by money, so we still have to face our family and friends with confidence. A mother's good attitude will also affect her children's values.
3. Maintain the ability to continue learning.
Now that the Internet is so developed, as long as we are interested, there is nothing we can't learn. If you find your hobbies, you won't have so much time to sigh.
Save your strength for your future career, and find the direction you are interested in. You can learn to accumulate first.
4, find a job that can take care of the family and have relatively free time.
If we can arrange it, we'd better go out and find a job when conditions permit. No matter how much money we have, it can at least help us better integrate into society and enhance our sense of social value.
Finally, I hope that every baby mother can be what live high wants.
Focus on parenting while charging and learning!
"Parenting and work are correct!"
Being a stay-at-home mom is really not that easy, but it's not that difficult. After all, children will grow up slowly, and when you find the rules, you can finish this "tedious and great work" more easily.
Xiaoying, a friend of one of my classmates, is such a "role model". Her hometown is in Shanxi, and her husband works in Beijing, which is too far away and has frequent prenatal examinations, which is inconvenient to take care of. In order to give her children complete love, she stayed in Beijing and had a prenatal examination in a hospital in Beijing. During the confinement period, my mother-in-law came to take care of her children for two months, and later felt that the rental house was too small to live in. She takes care of the children alone during the day, and her husband takes over after work. She used her children's sleeping time at noon and at night to teach herself every day and took an accounting certificate. Later, when the child grew up, she was sent to kindergarten. She successfully joined a big company. Thanks to her diligence and hard work, plus her flexible mind and keen "insight", she quickly grew from a small accountant to a chief financial officer.
Every time we talk about her, we envy her.
Being a "stay-at-home mom" is certainly hard, but it is also very fulfilling. Her advice to us is "focus. Children are like this, and so is work. Continue to dig in the field you are good at. " A drop of water wears away the stone ",don't waste trivial time, pay will be rewarded." "
When children are young, learn more about parenting, so that children can develop good habits from an early age. It will be easier and easier for you to take care of your children, which is also conducive to their growth.
For example: go to bed early and get up early every day, take a lunch break, read books with parents and children every day, exercise every day, go to the library and park every weekend and so on. Children will take a nap for an hour or two every day, which is beneficial for children to grow taller, and mothers can rest or do other things; Every day, parent-child reading gradually becomes his own reading and turning over books; Going to the library every weekend and reading quietly is also a kind of enjoyment; Go to parks, museums and exhibition halls (public facilities and venues Beijing really has many advantages). The formation of the above habits is really good for children and parents, and it has gradually achieved results. Life and work are relaxed and enjoyable, which is quite fulfilling.
On the other hand, if family conditions permit, it is not recommended for individuals to use this time to take care of their children to do "brushing" or "WeChat business". For example, occasionally take children to play with a baby mother and add WeChat. She kept the "WeChat business" and changed it back and forth. She advertised a lot to others, but her income was not much. Sometimes she talks too much, so it is inevitable to buy a few pieces, but the quality is really worrying. Slowly, she was "blocked", not because of anything else, but because she felt unnecessary. There are too many advertisements, and those cheap "fakes" make people "pay attention" no longer. I took it to work, and she was still in the "WeChat business" ... Of course, some people didn't make money, and there should be a lot of money. Everyone's choice is different, and the result will be different, right? !
As a "strong woman" who worked as a full-time nanny for three years and later entered the workplace, life is too short. If you can't have sex, you must do what you have to do.
Stay-at-home mothers take care of their children wholeheartedly. Keep "charging" yourself in your spare time.
Only in this way can children "quit" in time when they can go to kindergarten. Only with professional skills can we keep up with the times, find a suitable job in time and come back with confidence!
Finally, I wish every precious mother can live the life she wants!
I am very happy to share my experience with you. I was a stay-at-home mother until my baby was three years old. I got a job when my baby went to kindergarten. I am very lucky. I took my baby to work in kindergarten and went to the middle class. I like my job very much. The director is very good. I suggest that the baby go to kindergarten before looking for a job. She is tired and happy! The baby is 6 years old this year. She went to primary school in September. There is an epidemic now. I'm not going to work. I was looking for a job when the baby went to school. Moms, let's cheer together!
Hello, I'm Wangzai's mother, and I'm glad to answer your question.
First of all, I admire those stay-at-home mothers, but the requirements of modern society for mothers are getting higher and higher, and we must go out. The future is long, but children's childhood is so short. Therefore, according to the actual situation of the family, we should find a night shift near the school to pick up the children from school, so that parents can pick them up at night after work or do some part-time work. The method is always difficult, and I am myself at present.
Hello, I'm Ma Bao A Xiang. I also take care of my children at home full-time and have no job. Working full-time for six years, the family is heavily in debt. But for the sake of the children, I still insist on raising them at home. Maybe it's also my personal reason. I don't want my child to lose his childhood without a mother. Right, so you also consider your own situation. Don't worry when you decide. Come on, do it well, even if it looks worthless, we should come on, do our best and don't let ourselves regret it.