As a married man, Xu Yancheng fell in love with his assistant Yao Mi, which violated social morality. However, most readers did not condemn them. On the contrary, they think they should be a natural couple, the other half of each other, because Du is good at calculating in marriage.
0 1
Du's marriage was won by some calculation.
Du was originally a young lady of a big capitalist and was called a "standard beauty" in the university.
She learned to be smart when she saw that her two sisters were unhappy in marriage. She didn't marry a playboy or a fool. She wants to find a knowledgeable doctor and a gifted scholar-Xu Yancheng.
Xu Yancheng is a person who loves reading. Once he was reading in the library, and he forgot the exam. He is not interested in Du Lilin.
According to western custom, every leap year, a woman can propose to a man. If a man refuses, he must give a set of silk to the woman who proposes.
So in the new year of leap year, Du proposed to Xu.
The bookworm Xu Yancheng said with a bitter face, don't buy cloth. Du simply decided for him: you can't refuse.
At that time, Xu Yancheng's mother helped him get married in his hometown, forcing Xu Yancheng to get married all day, which made him feel at a loss. Du helped him and solved all the problems easily.
Du's marriage was won by some calculations: choosing the right goal, finding the right time and solving the crisis.
In this process, she is like a hunter catching prey: looking for the target, finding the best shooting position and timing, and then shooting.
The foundation of marriage is love, and love is the throb of heart and heart; It is the tempering of a fire, which dispels the utilitarian innocence; Is to go through fire and water.
One should be crazy about love once in one's life. Life is bright, complete and without regrets.
Being crazy about love is a compulsory course for youth. Youth without the baptism of love is a disappointment to beautiful youth.
Marriage with love is vivid and moral.
Du's marriage is only "calculation", only the sense of accomplishment of catching prey, the trembling of a girl without love, the coquetry, anxiety and tossing and turning of a girl with love.
At the same time, she didn't receive love waves from "prey".
Xu Yancheng, the small prey she captured, surrendered to the hunter, but did not fall in love with the hunter.
Marriage without love is a blasphemy against marriage. Calculation, let her win the marriage, but not capture the love. This also laid a hidden danger for her future marriage life.
02
Xu Yancheng secretly invited his assistant, Yao Mi, to climb Xiangshan, and was seen by another colleague. She said in front of Du:
I heard that one day you accompanied a gentleman to visit Xiangshan.
Xu and Yao's face suddenly changed, but Du said with a smile that she and her husband sneaked into Xiangshan during working hours.
She once told a professor's wife:
Even if your husband really cheated, you should stand on his side and deny it.
On the surface, she is protecting her husband's image, but in fact, she is protecting herself.
At home, she stiffly said to xu:
I know how to protect myself, and I won't be pushed around.
"I have three eyes, two closed and one open."
People who can calculate, in order to protect themselves, she is very vigilant, and every word and deed of the other party is under her control. Don't try to have any secrets or freedom.
What's even more frightening is that she did this to make her husband at a disadvantage forever:
It is my reason and my generosity that keep you from making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. You should be ashamed and grateful.
She used her "clear" calculation to put herself in an advantageous position and firmly control the situation.
However, when she is only calculating her own gains and losses and thinking about how to protect herself, she is actually using her soil, her hegemony and her love to cover up the problems in marriage in front of everyone.
It's like a person who has a serious sore and doesn't go to treatment, but wears luxurious clothes to show off in front of everyone to show his dignity.
Some people say that fun is an indispensable element in marriage.
Du is a beautiful woman, but she is selfish, hypocritical and tough when dealing with marriage problems. She is ugly, calculating in everything she says and does-she looks ferocious and lifeless.
03
Du ran into her husband Xu Yancheng and his assistant having a close conversation in the study.
She doesn't want to negotiate or theorize, because she knows that there is no advantage in a space with only three people, both physically and psychologically.
She didn't say a word, but told Xu Yancheng that there was an important person who asked him to do an important thing.
It turned out that a powerful colleague invited the couple to dinner.
In order to go to the party, she changed into powder and paste, put on decent clothes, suppressed her inner grievances and humiliation, and forced Xu Yancheng to go to the party with her smile. ...
Everything she does is not to offend powerful colleagues, but to get on well with them and integrate into the group. Du calmly said to Xu:
Yao Mi wants to destroy my family? Tell her to try! I will tell Fu Jin, Shi Nina and Jiang to treat you together!
Because of her clever calculation, this noble family has degenerated into a despicable, vicious and vulgar person.
In the face of emotional setbacks and precarious marriage, she did not calmly analyze the reasons from herself, actively communicated her emotions, made up for the lack of marriage, and pulled her husband back with love.
She can't even express her pain and grievances frankly and wantonly, but she suppresses her true self and whitewashes her as a calm and rational person.
But she couldn't dispel her anger. Of course, she can't leave rationally, let alone let go freely.
She used a more vicious and vulgar way to punish her husband-to punish her husband with the help of external public opinion, so as to maintain her marriage. She finally lost the chance to save her marriage completely.
04
How can a person enjoy the happiness of love and marriage?
Love is the passion of life and the harmony of soul.
The happiness of love comes from being willing to sacrifice yourself for each other and from making yourself better for each other. Instead of "calculating" what kind of people can make my life better.
When Li Yinhe and Wang Xiaobo met, their families were different, their identities were different, and their status was very different. But they still came together, because the three views fit together, their hobbies are similar, and their hearts are connected.
How to maintain the quality of marriage after marriage?
Li Yinhe and Wang Xiaobo are willing to be better people for each other.
Worker Wang Xiaobo went to college; Li Yinhe, who is already a newspaper editor, went to study in the United States; Two years later, Wang Xiaobo also flew to the United States to study.
They appreciate each other. Li Yinhe encouraged Wang Xiaobo to write, believing that he would stand out.
When two people in marriage make progress in their careers and are spiritually integrated, where do they need to be vigilant and alert, and where do they need to be skillful in calculation to protect themselves? ?