"The five or six suites in your hometown can't even afford a small attic in Shanghai!" A blind date video sparked a heated discussion on the Internet. A young man with an annual income of 500 thousand was severely "ridiculed" by his aunts in the "blind date corner" in Shanghai. The young man had expected to go in, thinking that he could meet Kochi women of the same age. No, the park is almost full of old mothers who give blind dates to their children.
An aunt in her fifties looked at the young man first, and then put forward a hard standard: local hukou, a house and a car. The young man answered honestly: no hukou, no house. Aunt said regretfully: Then you are "three no products". The young man tentatively asked: Aunt, do you think I can make a down payment and pay back (mortgage) with your daughter? Aunt insisted: that won't do, my daughter will be under great pressure.
Another aunt asked, young man, how much do you earn a year? The young man replied: four or five hundred thousand. Aunt is not very satisfied, muttering: that can't be bought in the attic in Shanghai.
The young man was curious and asked, "Does your daughter have a high income?" Aunt proudly replied, "My daughter earns 7,000 yuan a month, but she is a nurse and has a stable job!" " "The young man was speechless. Why do aunts always make completely unequal demands on him?
Once this video was released, it immediately caused an uproar. Many people spit out aunt sympathy for the young man, and some people think it is not easy for two generations to get married! Of course, some people question that the video is posed. However, in any case, netizens are still very enthusiastic about discussing "blind date".
According to official data, the number of singles in China has reached 240 million, and there are a large number of young singles, so blind date has become the social norm. According to the survey, 38% of single men and women are under the age of 23 for their first blind date, and 24% of single men and women are between the ages of 23 and 25. When the phenomenon of singles has become a common social problem, blind date has become one of the main ways to get rid of singles, not just the choice of older single men and women. I am afraid that my children are too Buddhist, I am afraid that my children are inexperienced, and I am afraid that my children are too busy to have time. Now more and more parents have joined the team to help their children date. "Shanghai Blind Date Corner" is an area in Shanghai People's Park, which is very famous in China. Most of the parents who come here to find their future daughter-in-law and son-in-law are Shanghai natives, and the conditions are very good. They are either registered in Shanghai or have a house and a luxury car in Shanghai, with an annual income of over one million.
Here, the standards of Shanghai parents are: basic Shanghai hukou, monthly salary of 1000, begging, owning a car and a house are third-rate figures.
In fact, this situation is not uncommon in other big cities. Parents' "high standards" are also understandable. After all, they all look after their children with the 18 filter. Children are fine at home, just thinking about how to find a "good home" for their children.
But why are parents in China so keen on blind dates for their children? Do the children really want to? Parents have parents' perspectives, and children have children's needs. For a long time, parents and children always have various contradictions in the concept of mate selection. In fact, every young person who goes on a blind date has his own unique concept of mate selection. In addition to the above-mentioned boys, there is also a 27-year-old girl who also went to the "blind date holy land" and received better treatment.
An aunt helped her son get up: My son started his business in 1990, and his height is 180. Local people have houses and cars. Will you consider it during the exam? The girl was a little embarrassed. She doesn't have a house, a car or a local. Aunt doesn't mind: it doesn't matter, you are so beautiful, my son will definitely like it. But after the girl said her mate selection criteria, the aunts were not calm. The girl said, I'm Dink, and I don't want to have children.
The aunts who had just been surrounded by enthusiasm suddenly dispersed, and the more kind aunts earnestly advised her: "What will you do if you don't have children?" Who will take care of you when you are old? "
In their view, marriage is not only a husband and wife living together, but also a guarantee of old age by having children. Of course, some parents are more open to having children. An aunt said: some Shanghainese don't have children, and each takes what he needs. Many young people don't want children. A 60-year-old grandfather even calculated an account: not having children can save five or six million. Whether or not to have children is influenced by traditional ideas, and more importantly, it is for the sake of one's own children. I am afraid that children will be helpless and the quality of life will be reduced if they are tired of running.
The cost of blind date is also a factor that many young people consider. A young man's requirement for blind date is just one thing: give the object 3000 yuan pocket money every month, and the rest is AA system. The young man knows very well that buying gifts, watching movies and eating meals a month is also a lot of money. Therefore, it is the first step to make a good budget and accept the budget. There is nothing wrong with blind date. The important thing is that you know what kind of life you really want. For them, marriage is not simply having children, but finding a lifestyle that suits them.
China's parents are heartbroken about their children's marriage. No matter how successful a child is, as long as he is not married at marriageable age, he will be criticized. Many young people are forced to take the road of blind date.
Xiao Jing is only 25 years old this year and was urged to get married by her family. Although she graduated from a prestigious school and became famous at work, she still had to face the torture of her parents when she went home for the New Year. After she failed to bring her partner home for two years in a row, her parents began to take the initiative and give her various plans. However, Xiao Jing feels that she can't get married because of her age. She made it clear: "I can't get married with a make-do attitude. Marriage is a lifetime thing. If I can't do it, it will hurt three families. "
When she refused many times, her father, who has always been good-natured, couldn't help getting angry: there are still people who don't get married. You can do anything at this age, but you can't do it without getting married. But many times, it is often "the emperor is not in a hurry." A mother from the northeast once went to the blind date corner to "humble blind date" her son. The offer is very interesting: as long as there is a daughter-in-law, the son can be adopted by his wife and the child can follow him as a mother. She can take care of the baby for free, and she doesn't need to take the baby back to her hometown in the northeast, so she will never disturb the young couple.
The people around you are very confused. What's the matter? The mother said it was very sad: my son is in his early 30 s this year, with an annual salary of 400 thousand, and he has no object yet. He thinks that now is the golden age of hard work, and getting married will delay his career. But looking at the time passing by, the white hair climbed up unconsciously, and the mother was anxious, just asking her son to find a family home as soon as possible. The poor inherit the wind. It may be wrong to get married too early, but it is not a good thing to let the years flow through your fingers for work. Too often, as children, marriage is not only a person's joys and sorrows, but also a combination of two families. You really can't just rely on your temper.
An important reason why many people resist blind date is that they are unwilling to restrict their freedom of marriage and love because of their parents' "preferences". There is a question on Zhihu: Why are parents always keen to introduce their children to each other?
One answer stung me very much: I found out after my father was ill that he kept introducing me, hoping that when they couldn't accompany me in the future, I could be accompanied.
What parents are most worried about is not that their children don't get married, but that their children are ill and have no one to take care of them. So they use decades of life experience as an endorsement to screen out the partners they think are suitable for their children. Sometimes, parents' ways seem to be "utilitarian", but they are not completely undesirable.
A netizen shared the story of her blind date: after breaking up with her boyfriend, she married the blind date arranged by her parents. I think she and her boyfriend were classmates and fell in love romantically and aesthetically, but they broke up because of practical problems after graduation. At that time, she was disheartened and felt that she would never find true love again.
Later, under the arrangement of her parents, she started dating. Like many people, she hates the dating methods introduced by her parents, but she has to deal with them out of politeness.
You can find that she gets along well with the blind date. Their parents are colleagues, have many similar life experiences, and have the same view.
Now, they have been married for seven years and have been living happily. Later, her mother said, we don't want to give anyone to you. From the circle of unmarried young people around us, it is not easy to find a young man who is not bad in character but likes you.
Parents don't want their children to get married as if they have completed a task, but they want their children to find a kind and soul partner to spend the rest of their lives with when they are away.
Behind the parents' urging of marriage, they are just afraid that their children will miss the right person at the best age and die alone in the unseen days.
Nothing more than Chen Yu's attitude towards marriage in the middle of the thirties has been criticized by the audience. What Zhong's mother likes is calm and foreign style. After marriage, she can tolerate her daughter's immaturity, and her daughter does not have to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. However, this silent character makes Zhong's heart cool after marriage. Chen Yu even bluntly said: Marriage is to find a safe haven and troubles.
Parents believe that children will be happy if they find a partner who can complement each other in personality and support them financially. As we all know, marriage is not a safe haven for anyone, but a choice. Some people will be happy for a lifetime on blind date, while others just love and live together freely. Marriage is a life in which two people run hand in hand.
Writer Liang Wendao said: "It is very important for a person to have the ability to live a good life and have something that others can't take away." As children, we should be good at seeing their good intentions through their parents' thoughts; As parents, it is even more important to understand that a person can live a good life only if he manages himself well and has the ability to make himself happy. Instead of worrying about the child's marriage, it is better to let the child have this ability as soon as possible.