Children drink breast milk for more than ten months, and when they see their mothers every day, they feel that they are the happiest people.
Before the age of three, children feel that their mothers are themselves, that they are their mothers, and that their mothers and themselves are still one. They can't accept that their mother has been away from them for too long.
We will find that if we ask our two-year-old mother your name, she may answer, your name is XXX. Because he has no concept of subject and object.
Therefore, the closest attachment relationship between mother and child is generally before the age of three.
Before that, children usually go out with their mothers, and their mothers will be happy to go home.
After the child was three years old, he found that the outside world was very big except his mother. He wants to play with his friends. He needs to develop a partnership, so he sends his children to kindergarten at this time.
But children still think that their mother is the best, dearest, favorite and favorite.
And I'll still show a very close feeling for my mother.
During the day, when I saw my mother playing with friends, the grievances I encountered would slowly disappear in my mother's arms.
Therefore, after the age of three, the attachment relationship between the child and the mother gradually fades, because the child has a small partner, but the grievances of the small partner still need the attachment relationship of the mother to appease.
So it is normal to kiss and hug before going to bed.
According to the attachment curve, children have to go through three attachment periods and three rebellious periods in the process of growing up, and these six periods alternate. The first attachment period of 0-2 years old, the first rebellious period of 2-3 years old, the second attachment period of 3-6 years old, the second rebellious period of 6-8 years old, the third attachment period of 8- 10 years old, 10 years old-the end of adolescence and the third rebellious period. Different rebellious periods will have similar performances, and different attachment periods will have different attachments. According to the topic, let's talk about the first attachment period, from birth to 2 years old. There are several points to understand.
1 and the attachment items of 0-2 years old are physiological attachment.
During the period of 0-2 years old, children think that their mother and themselves are one. Through the use of breast milk, intimate contact and parent-child interaction, the physical and psychological needs of children are well met.
2. Mother is the educational authority at this stage. Attachment period is a better education period than rebellious period, because at this time, children need their parents, and parents just regard it as an educational opportunity. Mother is the authoritative role of education at this stage, while father plays the role of interpreter, demonstrator and coordinator of parent-child relationship. We have all heard of educational consistency, which means that in this period, the mother is the only password publisher, and the father and family members can have their own educational views, but the mother is the only password publisher in front of the children, and she must never sing against her in front of the children. If we have educational differences, we can discuss them in private.
3. Early training through parent-child interaction. Early education can be carried out in the family through parent-child interaction, and the mother is the child's first early education teacher. The critical period of sensory integration training, fine motor training and attention training for 0-2 years old. After the age of 3, the training effect will be greatly reduced. (Shu Jing He Yong)
When his son is seven or eight years old, he tends to want to be independent. If properly guided, he will be a person with independent personality. If you don't guide him properly, he may become a nanny.
The rich woman in our department went to Sanya yesterday. Before leaving, she talked about her eight-year-old son, a child who never left his mother. Now she says she may not be able to go, so let him go with her grandparents. Her son said he wanted to try.
My son stopped chasing his parents when he was seven years old. Once after dinner with his cousin, his cousin teased him and asked him to spend the night at his cousin's house. Our son asked us that we thought it was too young to spend the night alone in a strange environment, so we said we could go. As a result, we happily followed my cousin, but my wife and I didn't sleep well all night.
My daughter-in-law is a doctor and works the night shift. On the night shift, the son usually sleeps with his grandmother. Once my grandmother went back to her hometown, my daughter-in-law worked the night shift, and my son insisted on sleeping with me. I told him I didn't want to sleep with him and let him have his own room. He told me in the morning that it was good to sleep alone.
Everyone is resistant to strange things, so the little boy should not hold on too tightly.
Son 10 years old, fourth grade. He is very attached to me and dreams of marrying me and never parting. I'm afraid I'm unhappy I will try to make faces and tell jokes to make you happy. When no one is around, he likes to play coquetry, calling himself "baby", chatting with me and letting me play with him. Of course, he also has many friends. Of course it's sticky, dad. If I get close to his father, my son will try his best to break us up. We quarreled on purpose to show him his father's embarrassment. If there is a real quarrel, my son is anxious and tries his best to get things done and say all kinds of good things about his father. Walking, watching TV and eating, he wants to be in the middle, with one on each side. We are worried that he is too homesick. His father says he hasn't grown up yet! I am ashamed that I am not a qualified mother and I have no patience with children. Compared with children, I care more about me, cleaning, doing housework and completing various tasks during holidays. Although he loves to play so much, his little heart is full of love. He loves this family ... son, mom and dad love you! ! ! Only love you! ! !
How long does the attachment between mother and child usually last? There is no exact time, generally divided into three periods, each period will have different performances and different needs for mothers. 1 to 3 years old is a critical period for the establishment of a sense of security, and the attachment between mother and child is relatively strong.
About mother-child attachment When the baby is in the mother's belly, attachment has already begun. Mother-child attachment is an important symbol of the baby's social development, and a gentle mother can bring infinite security to the baby.
The love between mother and child can be conveyed through eye contact or skin contact. After the baby is born, we will touch it. In fact, this is not only the contact between the skin, but also a spiritual touch, which can promote the baby's growth and development.
When the baby grows from 1 to 3 years old, it will be better if he is accompanied by his father. His father can lead the baby to the outside world, which has a good role in promoting the baby's intellectual development and training.
In the final analysis, mother-child attachment is just a kind of parent-child attachment. It is very important to establish a good parent-child attachment relationship with parents when the baby is 0 to 3 years old.
My daughter is sixteen years old and is in high school. She and I are single parents. Doing business in other places all the year round, and the mother takes care of the children. Now as long as I go home, I will be asked to send her and have sex with me. It's too much to get off and kiss. I like my daughter sticking to me. The daughter said, let me accompany her for a lifetime. Maybe the children in single-parent families are different! I will accompany you when you wash your face.
I have two sons, the eldest is 9 years old, the third grade is 5 years old, and they live apart. Organize your schoolbag after school, and you have good self-care ability. Like to chat with me, talk about his favorite topics, I can talk about all my favorite topics, and sometimes I feel that he is tongue-tied. He said to me, "You adults just don't understand our children's hearts." Now I like Conan comics and watch cartoons. He will tell you what happened as long as you ask. The symptoms of attachment to me are not obvious, and I like to hug him occasionally. More is language communication, and I am eager to be recognized.
The second child is 2 years old, 10 month. I feel that every cell in his body likes me, and the degree of infatuation is simply beyond measure. In front of him, others can't have any physical contact with me. His father and I can kiss him at the same time, but only he can kiss me. All I have to do is shout "help" and he will save me unconditionally. Not anyone. I am the most beautiful in my family. Often praise me "Mom, you are so beautiful" and "Mom, the skirt you are wearing is really beautiful". Actually, it's just pajamas (hee hee) Every day after work, they will ask me, "Mom, where have you been?" "Mom, what should we do?" . . . . . .
I don't know how old my son will stick to me. I'm almost five years old this year. Just like my little lover, no matter who says I'm not good, he will stand up for me. Every morning when I leave kindergarten, I will say, Mom, I love you. I will come to remind me when I am cutting vegetables in the kitchen, lest I get hurt. If I see where I bleed, he will even cry. Give me a punch, lest I hurt. My son cares about me far more than his father. Whenever he is wronged, I will buy him a toy as a reward. If the child is at fault in life, he will say sorry and apologize to me. If I speak loudly, he will remind me, mom, you are wrong, too loudly, and I will say I forgive you. I've changed a lot for my children. No matter how tired, children will hug me, hug me, kiss me, comfort me and enjoy this happiness! I was sick once and felt very uncomfortable. The child even said that he would pray for his mother to get better soon. I let him sleep on my arm. He said he was afraid of crushing my arm, and I cried at that time ... he was only good to me. If my father pretends to hit me, he will punch and kick me to protect me, fearing that he will become a mother's treasure, so he is a little worried.
My baby was born prematurely and has been hospitalized for two months now. Dad's milk is probably scared, so he really dotes on the baby, afraid of falling into his hand and melting into his mouth. As long as the baby wants it, the mother-in-law is almost responsive. Grandma was the most important person in his heart before he was two years old. Because I have a lot of things to do, I can't accompany him wholeheartedly, and I will scold him if he does something wrong, so although I brought him up, he is very cold to me. During the Spring Festival the year before last, my mother-in-law's father was hospitalized, and my mother-in-law took care of her in the hospital for seven days. Mao Mao, a dog two years older than the baby, took the opportunity to run out because a visitor left the door open. There are more than a dozen intersections in my hometown, so I can't see them when I go out. The family is in a hurry. It just snowed heavily that day, so my husband and I left the baby with my grandfather. My husband called my father-in-law and his friends to look for it separately. When the baby heard that Mao Mao was missing, he cried for Mao Mao. Because from the day he was born, Mao Mao watched over him until he grew up. Maybe in his heart, grandma is gone, besides grandma, the most important Mao Mao is gone, and his parents suddenly ran out. Although my father-in-law later found Mao Mao who followed him.
But then the baby's temper suddenly became dependent on being close to me. I follow wherever I go and bother me all day. A mother with a full mouth is the best. Later, when I saw the wedding photos of my husband and me, I would get angry and say that I would marry me when I grew up. Every time I see my husband fighting with me, I rush to protect me. Once I saw my husband holding my hand, I was so angry that I dropped my husband's mobile phone. At the age of four, it is really the age that dogs don't like, and it is very rebellious. Everyone had a fever for three minutes except me. If you have anything delicious, you will only share it with me. This made his grandmother jealous and said that no matter how painful he was, his mother was the closest. Later, I went to kindergarten, and my temper was still very stubborn. Get up in the morning and just let me help him prepare clothes. However, I'm beginning to understand. I know that if there is something good, I will know how to share it with my family. I remember my address and telephone number. Being able to gargle, dress and wear shoes independently, my favorite is cleanliness. What worries me most is that I never accept gifts and snacks from others outside. Add dog food to Mao Mao. Take medicine by yourself when you are sick. I don't need to coax you. Once caught a cold, he would tuck me in, let me sleep, put delicious snacks on my bedside, and then go to the living room to consciously tidy up his toys. The ground is still clean. Let me feel surprised and moved. The warmest thing is that every time he and grandpa go out to buy delicious food, they will save it for their mother. The warmest thing is the conversation between my baby and me since I was two years old. I asked: Baby, do you love your mother? The baby said: love. I said: how much love! Every time the baby puts out three fingers to answer: three loves. These three loves make me laugh for a long time, and I don't understand every time. Why are they three loves? Later, he went to kindergarten, and the baby replied that I had a lot of love instead of three. I asked again: How much is a lot? The baby answers the world's favorite, only maternal love. I hope that babies all over the world can grow up safely and happily and live a happy life. I think this is every mother's greatest hope and happiness.
Normally, it depends on the mother's letting go. A healthy attachment relationship between mother and child means that children are encouraged by their mothers to be independent and have their own world, rather than being attached to each other.
Before the child is 3 years old, he needs love and security. Mothers need to give full love, give their children an emotional response in time, and give them a strong backing. Children who encounter any difficulties in an affair can always return to their mother's warm arms and get support and encouragement.
After the age of 3, I began to go to kindergarten, which is the beginning of children's independence. I began to walk into the "small society" of kindergarten alone and face what happened in the "small society". On the first day of kindergarten, children will have anxiety separation, and how mothers deal with it is very important. In fact, mothers also have separation anxiety, even more serious than children, so there are no reluctant children, only reluctant parents.
Let's take a look at the feelings of some netizens' mothers:
@ Turn around: My son is five years old. He just started sleeping in separate beds yesterday. My son is very reluctant. He came to my room every few minutes and said that he missed his mother for a while and didn't want to sleep by himself for a while. In fact, he is not only a child but also a mother. I often touch my side habitually at night, feeling very empty.
@ Come on: From giving birth to a son to being 4 years old now. I've always raised him. And it's often just me and my son at home. It means we can't separate.
@ Pipigo and Niu Niu: My son is a little over 3 years old. I don't even want my father to take a bath at home. Everything needs to be done by mom. You have to hug me and kiss me every night. Drooling all over my face. Hey. I plan to give him a separate bed next year.
A healthy attachment between mother and child requires the mother to quit gradually, which is the greatest place of maternal love.