"Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you don't have to be responsible ..."

We are a little different: she wants me to turn dirt into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dirt.

Reading 10 years is better than talking about QQ for half a year.

I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out six coins from my pocket: if all six are heads, I will go to class! Think for a long time, forget it, don't take the risk. ...

I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar from the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "

I can tolerate fake bodies, fake faces, fake breasts and fake hips! ! ! But I just don't tolerate money. Yes! ! ! !

A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman is a lover of herself.

Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

Personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

Give me some sunshine, and I will rot.

You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

Shake, shake, shake to Naihe Bridge.

Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

Come back, I can't fool you alone!

Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

If you fall, get up and cry again.

In the world, there is love besides teeth.

A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."

Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel. ...

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Clap your head and make a decision, clap your chest and promise to leave.

We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up …

Don't argue with earthlings.

Come out, my wife will change sooner or later!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

Why do you sleep for a long time before you die? You will fall asleep after you die. ...

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

Planting grass won't make people lie down. Why don't you plant cactus?

The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

It turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

Go to the pizza place to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

What Zf thinks is how to pay taxes reasonably, what the boss thinks is how to avoid taxes reasonably, and what I think is how to sleep reasonably!

Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

How far is forever? Get out, boy!

I met a writer's signature: it may seem rough, but it may not be. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

Oh, dear, my clothes have lost weight again.

The important task of post-80s is to create post-80s.

There are plenty of people's backgrounds, and I only have my back ~ ~.

But gold always shines, but when there is gold all over the ground, I don't know which one I am.

It is very important to remind everyone to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ..... Everyone knows what happened afterwards.

I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you want to hear.

It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

Flowers often do not belong to those who appreciate them, but to cow dung.

The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

Even if you believe it, there are lies hidden in the middle.

True good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, and they will not feel embarrassed even if they don't talk.

No other half 100 points, only two people 50 points!

People who are willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you!

There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

Any problem that can be solved with money is not a problem, the problem is that I am poor.

Only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

After seeing me, you will suddenly find-ah, handsome can be so single-minded!

Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said, "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! "

I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." .

When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

People who run around brothels are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

Listen to you and leave me ten books!

0 years old, 10 years old, rising every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

Oh, dear, my clothes have lost weight again. -Tell me about it.

How to lose weight if you don't have enough food?

People have many backgrounds, and I only have one back.

There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

After listening to your words, you hung up the Southeast Branch.

Without hard work, comrades, the revolution will still succeed.

Piano, chess, painting and calligraphy are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

People don't attack me, I don't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, but all you come out is fart.

If eating more fish can make people smart, then I should at least eat a pair of whales.

If you can't dress the woman you love, please stop your unbuttoning hand.

I will still believe in love, but I won't believe that love can last forever.

I live one more day in your world, and I can't even see my own shadow.

I loved your special, so I never regret that you have left.

Xuan turned her back and tears kept flowing. Although my heart hurts, I can only say that Xuan will leave after separation.

Don't think you can leave easily and come back easily. I'm not that broad-minded

If you have a doormat face, don't step on it.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

Protect yourself, love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

Flowers often do not belong to those who appreciate them, but to cow dung.

In the world, there is love besides teeth.

But gold always shines, but when there is gold all over the ground, I don't know which one I am.

People who run around brothels are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

Oh, dear, my clothes have lost weight again.

Listen to you and leave me ten books.

I want to puppy love, but it's too late.

I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

Playing with feelings? I will make you cry rhythmically.

Hearing a name and thinking of one thing, the city is quiet and makes people tremble.

Silent classic quotations

1, we walk too fast for our souls to keep up. ...

2. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

4. After reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

5. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

6. A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman has plastic surgery for herself.

7, don't and the earth people general knowledge.

8, you come back quickly, I can't fool alone!

9. Life is Song Like Zude's mouth. You never know who will be unlucky next.

10, fall, get up and cry.

1 1. Besides teeth, there is love.

12, a dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University, and sobbed when he came out, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."

13, born, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

14, asking how sad you can be, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel. ...

15, when I was a child, I often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

16, if there is a problem, find the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

17, patting the head to make a decision, patting the chest to ensure, patting the ass to leave.

18, come out and mix, my wife will change sooner or later!

19. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

2 1, why do you sleep for a long time before you die and sleep after you die? ...

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

23. People who travel all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

24, 0 years old, 10 years old every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

25. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!

26. "Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for ... three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you're not responsible ..."

27. Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! Think for a long time, forget it, don't take the risk. ...

28. I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar from the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou Dynasty did this belong to?" This is from last week! "

29. I can tolerate that my figure is fake, my face is fake, my chest is fake and my ass is fake! ! ! But I just don't tolerate money. Yes! ! ! !

30. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to discover that you are really ugly.

3 1, give me some sunshine and I will rot.

You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

33. Shake, shake and shake to Naihe Bridge.

34. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

The most speechless network classic quotations

1. When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

2. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

We walked so fast that our souls couldn't keep up.

4. Don't be common sense with the people on earth.

5, come out to mix, my wife will change sooner or later!

6. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

8. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

9. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

10, planting grass doesn't make people lie down, so plant cactus instead!

1 1, the difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

12, it turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

13, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

14, men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

15, thinking about how to pay taxes reasonably, the boss thinking about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I thinking about how to sleep reasonably!

16. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

17, how far is it forever? Get out, boy!

18, I met a writer's signature: it may or may not look like it. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

19, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

20, I want to puppy love, but it is already late.

2 1, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

The important task of post-80s is to make post-80s.

23. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

24. It is very important to remind everyone to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ... and everyone knows what happened afterwards.

25. I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you like.

26. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

27. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

28. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with people who try their best to make you end being single.

29. Even if you believe it, there are lies hidden in the middle.

30. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

3 1, the other half didn't get 100, only two people got 50 points!

32. The people who are willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you!

33. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem. The problem is that I am poor.